


Romance Refunded

by DovaBunny, thejourneymaninn



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Derogatory Language, Fluff, Happy Ending, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mentions of past child abuse, Minor Character Death, Misunderstandings, Modern AU, Mutual Pining, Past Anders/Karl - Freeform, Smut, escort!Anders, mentions of past sexual abuse, modern with magic, rich boi!Fenris
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-04-26 21:31:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 104,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14410965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DovaBunny/pseuds/DovaBunny, https://archiveofourown.org/users/thejourneymaninn/pseuds/thejourneymaninn
Summary: When Fenris walked into The Rose he had a simple plan in mind: find an escort, pay them to pretend to be his girlfriend, take them to the family reunion weekend, and piss off his family into leaving him alone. What he didn't account for was a pair of gorgeous honey-brown eyes, long blond hair, and an ass that just won't quit.





	1. Hello, Handsome

**Author's Note:**

> This is from a complete between RP the insanely talented and far superior [ thejourneymaninn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thejourneymaninn/pseuds/thejourneymaninn) . She does Anders and I (DovaBunnybutt) do Fenris. 
> 
> Fenris's parts are right aligned, and Anders' left.

The moment Fenris stepped into the 'escort agency' he immediately regretted the whole thing.

But he had a goal: find a hooker to play his girlfriend for the family reunion weekend as to piss off said family enough so they'll finally back off and stop pressuring him to take over the family business.

It was crazy enough that it just might work.

He walked over to the bar and ordered a house red. While waiting he let his eye wander the room, surveying the talent. A busty dwarvern red-head, a tall black-haired human, a brunette elf with dark skin. All in skimpy clothes, none to his taste. Then his eye caught blond hair and amber eyes across the room.

  

 

Anders surveyed the room from his usual spot at the bar, in his usual style: just the right balance between coy and flirtatious, revealing enough to hint at a good time, yet shrouding it in class, leaving it to the imagination just _how_ good it would be.  

 Today, his talents were clearly wasted on the room. A couple of grizzled regulars, looking

 for something way below Anders’ age range, a couple of new faces, leering openly (and rather distastefully) but way below his price range (he might not be a spring chicken anymore, but he was still top tier, and he had no intention of sinking so low just yet. _Or ever_.)...nothing of interest.

With _one_ exception.

 

 

Fenris felt an odd skip in his chest as gorgeous honey-brown eyes, lined in just the right amount of eye-liner, connected with his.

Fenris gave his best sultry smirk he had been informed by Isabela was very effective, before motioning to the bartender for one more glass. Taking the wine, he kept his gaze on those golden eyes as he stalked over to his chosen specimen.

 

 

_Target acquired_ , Anders thought with some satisfaction as the man walked over to him, slowly, as though he was still uncertain about his decision (or maybe he just wanted to give Anders some time to admire his body, in which case _T_ _hank you_ ). He twisted his face in an odd way, flashing Anders a grimace that he supposed might pass for a seductive grin, if one was very generous.

 Which Anders decided he was, today – bonus points for trying and being pretty and all.

 Well-dressed but not flashy, he gave off a reserved, cautious vibe (shy or surly, it was hard to pin down) but his eyes (that _green_ , Maker have mercy) were alert, sparkling in the dim light of the room as he stopped right next to Anders.

"I don't suppose a beauty like you would appreciate a glass of red wine?" Fenris said in his smoothest voice. Fenris gave himself a mental pat on the back. He was pulling out all his best tricks and moves for this man. He wouldn't be surprised if _he_ ended up asking _Fenris_ out.

 

 

Anders' mind went blank for a second. Or maybe two. Possibly even three.

_THAT VOICE_

Granted, the plump flirtation in the actual words needed some work - well, a _lot_ of work - but honestly, in this job, it was far from the worst Anders had heard. He could work with that (also, it was considered unprofessional to mock the clients, for some reason). With that voice and that face, it hardly mattered that the guy was about as smooth as a cactus. And if that was his level of flirting...well, at least Anders wouldn't have to try too hard.

He threw his hair back in a carefully practiced gesture and gave the man a coy grin from beneath fluttering lashes.

 "Oh, yes, a glass of red wine, the company of refined men…there are a lot of things I appreciate..."

 

Fenris stared as the blond beauty threw his hair back as smiled. Forget what he thought before. He would pay this man. So much.

 "I ah-," _shit! Be smooth!_ "I am called Fenris," he ended confidently and handed the one glass to the man.

_So you know what name to call out in bed._

"What may I call you?"

 

Judging by the man's perfect impression of a fish, Anders' tricks still worked.

_Always reassuring to know you still got it._

The guy was holding himself valiantly though - only a slight stammer, he even managed a second of eye contact when he said his name: Fenris.

_Now that's a name that I'd like to call out in bed._

A name as pretty as his face.

Anders' flashed him another smile as he took the glass, making sure to accidentally brush his fingers against the man's - Fenris' - knuckles

"My name is Anders, but you may call me whatever you like, pretty boy."

 

Fenris scrunched his nose a bit at the 'Pretty boy' comment. He wasn't _pretty_. He was rugged and manly as hell.

"Anders," he tested the name on his tongue as he swirled his wine glass elegantly then took a sip. "I have a proposition for you, Anders... if you are interested?"

 

Anders bit back a chuckle.

_Aww, look how cute he is when he's pouting. Well, if you want to show me just how much of a man you are...I am right here._

Hearing his name in that voice...now that he could get used to. And looking at how expertly Fenris handled his wine, there was most definitely wealth behind that. No need to worry if he could afford the house's rates then - this was stillbusiness, after all, even if it looked to be a rather pleasant one.

"I am all ears."

 

 

"I need an escort for a weekend away. Tevinter to be specific, to a family gathering. My escort would need to pose as my partner to... appease my family."

Fenris took a slow sip and looked up at the tall man, suddenly a little pissed that he was shorter than him.

_But Maker those legs..._

Fenris cleared his throat and shook the thought from his head.

_Not Now._

"Does it...appeal to you?"

 

 

Tevinter, yes, of course, that explained the accent...the _sexy as hell_ accent _._

  _Keep it in your pants until you get paid Anders, Andraste's business plan, you're a professional._

 Speaking of professional, a whole weekend, including a trip to another country and a chance to dust off his acting skills beyond "oooh, I've never had a better one, you rocked my world"? Jackpot!

Although "appease" suggested there was trouble behind those large eyes looking up at him…

 Perhaps he could help with that, too, provide a shoulder and an ear in addition to the body parts that were usually of interest, make sure Fenris got his money's worth in every way possible. There was something a little sad about having to hire an escort to accompany you to a family gathering, now that he thought about it...

The smile he gave Fenris was genuine. "Are you joking? That's the most appealing thing I've heard all week."

 

"Then it is settled," Fenris said firmly. "I will meet you at the airport on Friday at 2. _Don't_ be late."

Fenris took out his business card and handed it to the man. This was going a lot better than he thought!

Fenris looked around the room and a thought occurred to him. "I... would prefer it if you take the rest of the week off. Do not see any more clients. I shall compensate you for the.... business, lost."

 

For a second, Anders had to fight the urge to snap at him - _getting possessive already? What do you think this is, save the poor hooker from his deviant ways?-_ but seeing the way Fenris' eyes still darted uncomfortably around the room, he decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and call it endearing instead of presumptuous.

He had to remember that Fenris was basically hiring him to play his _boyfriend_ at a _family gathering_ , not just as arm candy to impress business partners.

That had to be awkward for him, no matter how collected and business-like he tried to present himself.

Besides, a few days of paid vacation? Who would say no to that? Well, as long as Fenris knew what he was getting himself into…

"Are you certain? Not that I mind, but that...isn't gonna be cheap. And I won't lie, it's already gonna be a buttload of money for the weekend, so..."

 

Fenris raised an eyebrow at the use of 'buttload'. So southern. He was perfect for the weekend.

"Money is no object, I assure you. I shall pay you half now, half at the end of the weekend. Granted everything goes to plan."

He had to keep reminding himself that this was more than picking up some whore, and it was not a real date either. Fenris wasn't the type to get attached, but this one might be trouble if he didn't keep an eye out

 

 

"Well, in that case..." Anders shrugged. "Guess I'll be heading home then."

He slid off his chair - slowly, curving his spine and throwing back his hair once more (Fenris was paying for this, after all, might as well give him a show).

"See you Friday, then. Anything else I should know? Any special clothes or...accessories...you want me to bring?" he asked with a wink.

 

Fenris swallowed thickly at the implication. "N- no. Just your normal clothes would do. Something to swim in, and something more formal if you have it." He quickly fished out his wallet, pulling out 20 sovereigns and handing it to him.

"Here. The half now. Don't be late."

Before he could lose his cool further, Fenris turned on the spot and walked determinedly out the door.

Maker save him from kinky blonds...


	2. Take Me to the Sky, Darling

Anders was all packed up - casual, formal, swimwear in varying degrees of skimpy, flannel pajamas, frilly négligées - name the occasion, he was prepared for it. He'd spent the last couple of days enjoying his Fenris-sponsored Netflix binge, sleeping a lot and making sure Pounce, his cat, would be well taken care of over the weekend.

_Note to self: buy something nice for Nate to thank him for Pounce sitting._

He'd also thrown in a few extra hours of grooming, might as well smell nice and be silky-soft for such a cute, generous client. He'd even arrived at the airport an hour early.

...Now, where was Fenris?

 

_1:58 pm... where the hell is that little tart?_

Fenris tapped his foot. His dark jeans hugging his figure down to his brown leather shoes. His fitted button-down black shirt too cool for the South but perfect for the Tevinter sun. He cursed himself in four different languages for not getting the prostitute's number before he took off in a huff. All because he could feel his cool slipping around the man.

He was about to call the agency when his eye spotted a familiar flip of blond hair. Anders was standing in the gift shop talking to someone.

No… _flirting_ with someone!

Fenris grit his teeth and pulled his black and gold Gucci wheelie bag as he marched over to his 'escort'.

 

Anders' conversation with the charming redhead behind the counter was cut short by the sound of prolonged throat clearing and clearly annoyed foot tapping behind his back. He turned around to find Fenris standing there, arms crossed in front of his chest and a scowl on his face.

  _And look at that fancy luggage, probably cost more than my rent. Show-off._

Despite the icy "greeting"...it was good to see him. Yes, _see_ was the operative word here, damn, the way those clothes clung to him left little to the imagination...

Well, he was officially on the clock now. He flung his arms around Fenris and placed a kiss on his cheek - might as well start off with getting a little practice for their act.

"Fenris, darling, finally, I've been looking for you all over! Perfect timing, I was just looking for a gift for your mother - he's taking me to meet his parents," he called over his shoulder to the clerk, "he might make an honest man of me yet!"

 

Fenris' eyes went wide at the sudden intrusion into his personal space. Contact and affection were not things he was comfortable with, but he knew snapping at Anders had no use, the man couldn’t have known.

He waited till the clerk had turned their back before he voiced his objection. "I... do not like being touched," he said sternly as he stepped away from Anders and removed his arms from his neck. "And there is no need to get my mother anything."

But now that he considered it, his mother would love it if he were to come home with a pretty young fertile elven girl who brought her a gift. It would make her so happy.

Then he looked at Anders. And smirked.

_The Leto family are in for a surprise._

 

_I do not like being touched_... Now that was a line you didn't hear often in Anders' line of work. It was admittedly not the first time, but after the flirting and the clearly interested staring, he definitely hadn't expected it from Fenris.

So much for _fun_ nights then... Not to mention that convincing his parents of their relationship would be much harder if he couldn't throw in a good dose of sickeningly sweet public displays of affection... But that could be dealt with later, what mattered now was that he'd obviously made Fenris uncomfortable. Very much so, if his stiff posture and wide eyes were anything to go by.

He hastened to take a step back and drop his hands to his sides. "Sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable... It's just that people usually tend to hire me specifically _to_ touch them."

Scratching his head, he gave Fenris an apologetic smile. "We should probably lay down some ground rules, in that case. I want to make sure you get the best possible experience, tailored exactly to your needs."

 

Fenris realized he sounded like a complete ass. Anders wasn't the gold-digging bimbos who usually sought him out and tried to worm into his life and pocket.

"No, I apologize. There was no need for me to be rude. I... am uncomfortable with touch. Unless it is someone I wholly trust. I do not mean to imply your touch is undesired, I am sure it is very highly appreciated by your.... clientele."

Fenris cleared his throat. "And if you wish, my mother likes candles. You may purchase her one if you so please." He gave Anders a small smile. He had gotten so used to rolling into a hedgehog ball of spikes when surrounded by people who usually just wanted something from him. Having to actually spend a weekend in someone's company might be harder than he anticipated. And might even be... good for him.

 

"Candle it is, then." Anders nodded, remembering just in time _not_ to clap Fenris on the shoulder or worse, give him another hug.

He'd always been the touchy-feely type; this would take some getting used to. But if that was what it took to give Fenris the perfect weekend, he'd manage.

  _Andraste be my witness, he looks even cuter when he's all contrite._

"And don't worry, I got the message, no touching until I have fully gained your trust - you might think that's impossible to achieve in only one weekend but I'll have you know, I am _very_ charming."

He turned back towards the counter, flashing Fenris an exaggerated wink as he flipped his hair. Time to pick out a candle. Something classic, elegant. Looking at the tasty, prickly heap of neuroses she'd raised, Anders somewhat doubted Fenris' mother was the playful type.

 

Fenris smirked. Well, no one could fault the man for not having confidence.

"Why don't you give me your luggage and Id and I'll go get our tickets. I'll meet you back here in 10 minutes and we can go through to the business lounge to wait. Or, if you wish, we may browse the duty-free section." He bowed his head slightly. "As I understand, it is my duty as your partner to...spoil you."

 

The duty-free section...tempting, Anders had to admit, very tempting indeed, but Fenris was spending enough money on him already - he'd even given him a few days of _paid vacation -_  and Anders had a strict policy of not taking advantage of clients.

Well, not _nice_ clients. Those who were disrespectful or aggressive to him or his colleagues were another matter. They had it coming. Fenris didn't. He wasn't rude or creepy, just a little brusque...and overall, a cute and nice guy.

"Business lounge sounds good. And your only duty as my partner is to give me respect and affection...and if affection is hard to come by, I'll take an iced tea instead." He flashed him a smile over his shoulder. "I'll be there as soon as I've decided on one of those 10000 candles."

 

Fenris cleared his throat before Anders strutted off. He smirked at the confused look. "Your bags and id, my dear?" He said slowly, an amused tone in his voice.

It was strange, but already he was really finding himself warming up to Anders. He wasn't what he expected at all. He wasn't trying to kill him for his money or fake attraction to try and get on his good side. He was... _real_.

 

Anders hesitated for a moment. He wasn't exactly ‘travelling lightly’ and Fenris already had his own luggage to take care of... But then again, there was a lot of muscle definition going on under that shirt, and it wasn't that far; he could probably handle it.

Plus, he was obviously trying to be a gentleman, which Anders couldn't deny was charming. Extremely so, in fact.

"Ah, yes, of course..." He gave Fenris his bags, fished his ID out of his pocket and handed that over as well. "Don't bother trying to pronounce the name, I've been going by Anders since I was a teenager. I'll be with you in a minute... or two. Ten at most."

 

Fenris raised an eyebrow at not only the name on the Id but the age.

Hm. He'll have to ask him about that later.

Then both eyebrows raised when he saw the huge bag Anders had handed off before strutting on like he knew he had the world at his feet. _Well now._ Anders will fit right in with the rest of the Leto family and their love of abundance it seems.

He lugged their bags over to check in and got their tickets, then returned to the store to collect his... escort.

"You ready?"

 

Anders usually preferred not to let his clients know any of his personal details - name, address, age, one of the benefits of working with an agency was that he could remain as anonymous as he liked. But he supposed since they were travelling internationally, it could hardly be avoided.

He'd just have to trust that Fenris wasn't a creepy stalker. He certainly didn't seem like one.

It took him longer than it should have, but at last, he managed to pick out a candle for Fenris' mother - and some chocolates for the flight for himself (and Fenris). When he stepped out of the store, Fenris was already waiting for him.

"Damn, you're fast. Off to the business lounge, then?"

 

"If you are ready?" Fenris asked, then after a moment's hesitation held his arm out of the blond to take. Might as well get used to it. And Anders was hardly a difficult man to look at, having him on his arm was no shame at all.

 

Anders eyed the arm offered to him warily for a moment - it was difficult to gauge just how far Fenris' aversion to touch went and he didn't want to cross any lines.

Or well, cross them _again_. But since Fenris was _offering_ , it was probably ok to take it? Fenris was doing surprisingly well at this whole gentleman thing...

Anders hooked his arm in Fenris' and flashed him a broad grin. "Yes, I'm good to go. Take me to the sky, darling."

Fenris hoped the slight flush on his cheeks would go unnoticed. Or assumed to be due to the weather and not due to being called 'darling' by a handsome man. He’d been called many names, ‘sexy’, ‘gorgeous’, ‘hunky’, ‘rich’… but never someone’s _darling._

Fenris let his thorough breeding and upbringing guide him as he held his head high and lead them to the lounge. They were seated in a cozy corner on leather seats and offered a coffee menu from the barista.

Fenris handed it right back to them without a glance.

"I'll have an Americano and the gentleman will have a...." Fenris eyed Anders with a calculating gaze before venturing a guess. "Mocha latte with cream?" He asked Anders.

 

 

Say what you will about him, Fenris sure knew how to walk with confidence - strutting around like he owned the place, like he _belonged_ there (which, unlike Anders, he probably actually did), guiding Anders to his seat, even trying to order for him.

It was all terribly old-fashioned and terribly charming.

Anders nodded at the order of a mocha latte with cream - he didn't really care which drink he got, and it saved him from having to fret over the menu in indecision. Besides, the cream part sounded good.

As soon as the waiter left, Anders crossed one leg over the other and leaned across the table in Fenris' direction, batting his eyelashes in mock exaggeration.

"So, tell me, what brings a refined gentleman like you into my little shit-hole corner of the world?"

 

Fenris cleared his throat and tapped his fingers on the stained oak table. How honest should he be? He had planned to not tell his escort anything, but already Anders was tempting him.

"I required a date to the weekend reunion, as you know. My family is... exceedingly wealthy. My great-great-great-great grandfather, after who I am named, was one of the pioneers of the slave rebellion that ended slavery in Tevinter. However, after it ended there was a lot of unemployed and homeless elves and as well as a great need for workers.”

Even though Fenris felt crushed by his family’s expectations of him, he was proud of their legacy. But knowing he would never fill the shoes his great-great-great-great grandfather, the first Fenris Leto, left behind would forever make him feel like he couldn’t live up to the name. But as always Fenris cleared his throat and pushed on.

“He started the first business that _employed_ elves into working, and turned former ‘slave owners’ into ‘employers’. The elves were paid, protected, and it turned into a booming economy overnight, and still stands today as the largest recruitment firm and investor in the North with ties to every industry from shipping to florists."

 

Anders was surprised to hear about Fenris' connection to such an important historical figure - and even more surprised that he'd actually gotten an answer; he'd expected it would take prolonged convincing to drag even the tiniest scrap of personal information out of Fenris.

Not that he intended to pry. Sure, he was curious, but if anyone could sympathize with the desire to keep one's personal life private, it was him. Yet if he was supposed to pass for Fenris' boyfriend, he _had_ to know at least the basics of his life. Ideally, more than the basics. That Fenris was willing to talk at all was promising - but the fact that so far, he hadn't actually said anything about _himself_ , didn't escape Anders' notice.

"Wow, that's...that's impressive. I've heard about you several greats-grandfather - I mean, who hasn't? He's a legend. But I bet he isn't half as interesting as the Fenris who's sitting across from me now, in this day and age. What about you? How did you end up in Kirkwall?"

 

Fenris eyed the man suspiciously. _Smarter than he looks._

"I highly doubt that is the case, but I shall accept the intended flattery with grace," he smirked. "If you must know, I am in Kirkwall to get away from it all." Their coffees came and he took the distraction. "What about you? How did you ... get into your line of work?"

 

_And again, he's evaded the question. This is gonna be like pulling teeth, isn't it..._

 Although "to get away from it all" was at least more than nothing. With family ties like that, old money, history, obligations, expectations, even his great-grandfather's freaking _name_...that had to cast a long and heavy shadow.

"It most certainly is. As impressive as his deeds may have been - they've been done, they're history, set in stone with no room for surprises. _You_ are still full of those. Options, decisions, dramatic changes ... _secrets_... Way more interesting, I tell you. And take it from me, more handsome too."

He took a sip of his coffee, nearly burning his tongue as he played for time, debating how much to reveal. He wouldn't lie to Fenris, but he wasn't going to lay bare all of his personal life for a pretty smile and a coffee either. Especially when that pretty smile wasn't actually _truly_ interested but just wanted to divert attention from himself.

 

Fenris chuckled a little at that.

 "So, he is an artist in diverting personal questions and flattery. Can't say I'm all that surprised," he said with a smirk as he blew on his black coffee before taking a sip. "But surely, a man of your charm and..." He let his eyes trail over Anders a bit. "...physic... would have options beyond the opportunities of an escort service?"

 

Anders started to chuckle as well. "Well, looks like you're quite the charmer yourself. "

He took a long look at Fenris, then added, "Actually, my charm and smoking-hot physique - trust me, you don't know half of it" -he winked- "are what make me so perfect for this line of work. It's my brilliant mind that lends itself to other fields...and I _have_ pursued...other careers, for a while. I'd rather not go into the details of why it didn't work out, if you don't mind. It's not all that interesting, and kind of a mood killer. But believe me, this isn't some 'sad, lost boy became an escort out of necessity' kind of story.”

He shrugged as he took another sip of his coffee. “I like the job. I used to do it part time to pay for school, and I was good at it. It seemed only natural to return to it...eventually. And I don't regret it. I get to spend time with people, make their lives a little less miserable, show them a good time - what's not to like about that? And on rare, special occasions, I even get to spend a whole weekend with a handsome, sophisticated gentleman who, I am sure, is just dying to tell me a little more about himself."

He placed his elbows on the table and let his chin rest on his hands. "I know _I_ am dying to hear it."

 

Fenris couldn't help but smile, genuinely, at Anders. Maybe his wits have met their match? Still, he struggled to shake the feeling that a job as an escort was...degrading for someone like Anders.

_No, don't even think about it. He's your weekend escort, not some friend or project._

Fenris took the last sip of his coffee and checked his watch. "Oh my, would you look at the time. Just when I was about to launch into a monologue of my past, fears, and dreams. I'm afraid it's time to board."

He winked at Anders as he stood and held his arm out without hesitation.

 

Anders chuckled softly. It would have been frustrating if it hadn't been so amusing.

_Fine, if you enjoy the part of mystery man, who am I to spoil your fun. It's your weekend, after all._

As charming and hot as Fenris was, he'd been in this business long enough to be very aware this wasn't a date. When the weekend was over, he'd never see Fenris again - he didn't seem like the type who'd become a regular.

_Too uptight for that._

He'd still need to ask him for _some_ information - Fenris' mother would hardly believe Anders was in a relationship with her son if he didn't even know his birthday or his job - but they'd have ample time for that on the plane. Linking his arm with Fenris' felt surprisingly natural this time.

"Lead the way, handsome."

 

Once the air hostess saw the name on the economy tickets Fenris handed her, she paused for a moment - no doubt wondering why it sounded familiar - then gasped softly and made a quick discreet call over her walkie-talkie.

"Mister Leto," she smiled as she finally turned back to them. "I just spoke to the captain, and there are two first class seats available for you and your..." her eyes trailed over Anders on his arm. "...guest."

"That won't be necessary, I booked the tickets economy. There is no error."

"B-but sir-"

"No. Thank you." Fenris said in a stern voice. "Now, may we have our tickets?"

"O- of c-course." She handed them their economy seat tickets. He thanked her and made his way down to the plane.

 

Anders sighed internally. _I get that you're trying to make a point, rich boy, but ONE of us has never flown first class and wouldn't have minded that extra leg room._

Nothing to be done about it but follow Fenris to the plane and hope his mood would lighten up once they were in the air. He'd _definitely_ not liked being recognized.

As he walked next to a stoic-faced Fenris, he wondered if they had a window seat...and if so, if Fenris would let him have it. He'd only been on a plane once before, and he'd never been to Tevinter.

 

 

Fenris raised an eyebrow and glanced at the slight pout his date was sporting.

"Don't worry you'll get your first class seat with Champaign and sushi on the ride back. I just like pissing off my family by flying economy home. They see it as horrendously middle-class. So, sitting in a smaller seat and eating with plastic utensils is worth it to see my step father sneer and my mother go pale when I told them what flight I'll be arriving in."

He shrugged. He didn't expect Anders to understand. It also just occurred to him that he didn't owe Anders an explanation either, but somehow gave him one. Strange.

 

Anders frowned slightly. "Not that I don't get the deep satisfaction of pissing off your family - believe me, I know that's worth any and all sacrifice - but...how will they even know what seat you were in? They're all on the same plane, your ticket says economy, you could easily have allowed yourself more comfort _and_ pissed them off just the same. Why punish yourself along with them?"

He shook his head and gave Fenris' arm a light squeeze - just for a second, so as not to make him uncomfortable again. "But if it's that important to you, we can fold ourselves into those tuna cans they call "seats" on the flight back too. If nothing else, it's gonna be cozy."

 

Fenris felt a small smile tug at the corner of his lips. It seems Anders just knew how to pull that from him.

"I suppose you are correct, a lie might have been just as effective. However, then I run the risk of running into a family acquaintance or even a relative in business class. People talk. And my family is particularly nosey, especially when it comes to me."

 _And the whole point of this weekend is to put them off. That's why you're here._ The last part he would never bring himself to say.

 

"Hmm, I see," Anders nodded slowly. "Judging by that woman's reaction, travelling incognito isn't really an option for you. It must be hard to have your family constantly on your back. Well," he grinned as they stepped onto the plane, "let's go piss them off - and get leg cramps - then. How long's the flight gonna be? We still have a couple of things to discuss if this whole charade is going to work."

As Anders flashed Fenris a smile, he couldn't help wondering why Fenris would go to the trouble of hiring an escort to appease his family if he enjoyed annoying them this much. Well, whatever the reason, he'd get paid either way.

 


	3. In-Flight Entertainment

A nervous-looking flight attendant pointed them towards their seats. To Anders' surprise, Fenris hopes, their seats were at the front of the cabin to allow for extra leg room, and he booked all three of the seats in their window aisle row. To avoid sitting cramped next to someone.

"You may have the window or aisle seat, I don't mind," Fenris said casually, gesturing to the three seats. "And to answer your question, the flight to Minrathous is four hours. Ample time to discuss the 'charade' as you put it."

 

Anders just about managed to suppress an excited squeal - that would have been a tad too unprofessional even for him - and immediately flung himself into the window seat with what he knew must be all the grace of a newborn elephant.

"Mine!" He grinned up at Fenris, who looked even more handsome from that perspective. As he waited for him to take a seat, Anders rummaged in his bag for the chocolates he'd bought.

 

Fenris chuckled. "Very well." He placed his jacket in the middle seat and took the aisle seat.

"Have you ever flown before?" Fenris asked. He guess Anders did have a point that if they were to convince people they were an item, they needed to know each other better.

_Or know the versions of themselves they put forward better._

 

Anders decided to ignore the fact that Fenris had taken the aisle seat, deliberately leaving as much space between them as he could. Keeping him at a distance was obviously important to him - understandable, Anders had to admit, he _was_ just an employee, after all, a hooker that was paid to be there - but he couldn't help feeling like this was more of a general thing with Fenris.

"Just once, years ago," he said, still rummaging in his back. "I'm guessing you fly all around the world on a daily basis?" Having finally found the chocolates, he placed them on the seat between them. "I got these for us, help yourself...if you want to.

 

Fenris blinked. Chocolates to share. That was... thoughtful. Not even as kids did he and Varania 'share' anything.

"Thank you," he said a little softly and took one. "And no, I hardly ever fly. I try to stay in the South as much as I can and only go home when needed." The fasten seatbelt sign went on and the hostess came out to do her little demonstration for takeoff preparation. "When you flew, where did you go?"

 

Anders popped a chocolate into his mouth and leaned back in his seat. "North," he said with a wink. "From Fereldan to Kirkwall. Never went back."

He pursed his lips, picking non-existent lint off his sleeve. "But before we go into more depths about our travelling habits...We should really get our stories straight first. I'm all for winging it, normally, and I don't mean to pry, but if we want to convince your parents we're together, I need to know at least a few basic facts about you. Just how many depends on what kind of relationship you want us to have - long-term, new-found love, brief meaningless hook-up your parents will know not to expect to ever see again...it's up to you. You're obviously a private person, so I'm guessing even in a long-term relationship, your parents won't be surprised if I don't know all your childhood stories. Not knowing your birthday, however, would definitely arouse suspicion."

He looked up and gave Fenris a brief smile. "And I need to know who you want me to be - job, background, hobbies, I will be whoever you want me to be, but I need to know what that is."

 

"I suppose you're right," Fenris agreed, and thought for a moment on how much to divulge.

"My name is Fenris Leto, I am first in line to the family fortune and business. I came to Kirkwall to study history. I work part-time at Amell Renovations, a friend of mine's business that does home renovations." Fenris turned to consider Anders. "As for you... I want you to be yourself. I met you at the Rose and we've been dating ever since. Let's say... a year. And things are getting serious."

 

Anders tried. He really tried. He bit his cheeks and curled his fists but in the end, it was no use. He burst out laughing.

"The...the story you're going for is ‘I hired a hooker.... and now we've been dating for a year... Mum, Dad, it's serious'."

He took a couple of deep breaths, wiping tears from his eyes. When he had enough air to speak properly again, he levelled a stern gaze at Fenris. Or well, he tried to. He lasted about half a second before he started to laugh again.

"Why am I getting the distinct impression that 'appease' is not the true objective here?"

 

Fenris gave him a bland unimpressed look.

"Are you quite done laughing? Firstly, my father passed when I was very young. We'll be staying with my mother, step-father, and sister, Varania. Although he is hardly home, thankfully. And to answer your question, I suppose I'm not out to appease them, no. But I mean it when I say I want you to be yourself. Except for the part where you pretend to be my long-time lover, of course."

He raised an eyebrow. "Is that a problem?"

 

 

Anders shrugged, still giggling. "Not a problem at all, no, being myself means less lies to keep straight. Not that I ever really keep anything _straight_..."

He let out another, small chuckle. "But you could have told me what you were up to right at the beginning. I would have packed way more provocative outfits had I known you _want_ them to hate me. Now, don't glower like that, you brought this one on yourself. Have another chocolate and tell me more about our loving long-term relationship. Do we live together? When's our anniversary? Do we have a cat? We must have a cat!"

 

"I don't want them to _hate you_ ," he said glowering anyway. "I just... want them to know the way I live is too different from what they expect of me."

The pilot announced they would be taking off soon and the engine roared into life. "Sure, you live with me in my Hightown penthouse apartment. Our anniversary can be the day we met. And if it's that important to you we can have a cat. 'One' cat," he said sternly, suddenly confused as to why he was arguing this point as if it was real.

"But I want you to contribute too. What would you like to add to our relationship?"

 

Anders couldn't help but smile. "Since you're averse to touch, I'm not gonna ruffle your hair and call you adorably naive - but I need you to know that mentally, I'm doing just that. How do you think they'll feel about the person they'll be blaming for your rejecting their expectations? Of course they'll hate me."

He briefly turned to gaze out the window and check if they were moving yet - no way was he going to miss take off - but apparently, they still had a moment.

"I don't mind, don't worry, I'm just an old hooker, I'm used to that kind of reaction. If you think it'll help, I'll just be my charming, if devoid of morals and unfit for refined company, self. And as for our relationship, so long as I have a cat, I'm happy. Oh, and you're very supportive of my job, we reserve at least one night a week for date night, no matter what, and I make you breakfast every Sunday morning. And I've _almost_ convinced you to give up that soulless Hightown apartment and move into a nice little terribly middle-class place in Lowtown with me. Really, I'm _so_ close."

 The plane was starting to move and Anders turned his attention to the window. Probing for further details could wait a few minutes, it wasn't often that he got the opportunity to travel.

 

Fenris thought on Anders words. Anders was right. Fenris was essentially setting the man up to be ridiculed. It was cruel. Anders really wasn't what he expected at all.

What scared him was... He felt himself slightly warm up to the man. He found he...wanted those things. The date nights and Sunday morning breakfasts and arguing over where to live. It was never scenarios he imagined himself in, yet with Anders saying it with such confidence he found it rather appealing.

"Anders... You're right. I-" But then the plane roared into motion and the thought was swept away as Fenris suddenly clung to the armrests with white knuckles.

_Oh yes. The other reason I never fly. Flying is awful._

Anders was leaning as far towards the window as possible, not really listening to Fenris as he excitedly watched the plane gain speed.

_We're about to fucking FLY, how cool is that??_

He was about to toss exactly that question over his shoulder when he realized the man beside him had fallen quiet. Like, completely, eerily quiet.

He turned around and after one look at Fenris - body rigid, face twisted into a grimace of sheer terror - all excitement was forgotten. Some instincts never truly fade. When Anders saw someone in distress, he wanted, _needed_ to help. To heal. To find a solution, to make it better. But next to what was essentially a stranger who didn't like to be touched, in an unfamiliar environment, he was left clueless as to what to do.

"Fenris..." he kept his voice purposefully calm. "Fenris, is there anything I can do to make it better?" _Because I have a feeling safety statistics aren't gonna do the trick._

Fenris squeezed his eyes shut, biting his bottom lip till he was sure he could taste iron.

_Kaffas! Whoever invented vishante flying should rot in hell! Fenhendis!_

Distantly he heard Anders say his name but he just gave a quick shake of his head. He didn't want the man seeing him like this. Terrified of flying...

 

There seemed to be no getting through to Fenris. His eyes were shut tight and a brief, jerky shake of the head was the only acknowledgement of Anders' trying to talk to him.

  _If I could just hold his hand, squeeze it, stroke his knuckles, show him he's not alone..._

Yeah, because touching him had gone _so_ well the last time. He was already tense and freaking out as it was, Anders couldn't risk making it worse. So he did what he always did when he was nervous: talk. Well, more accurately, babble, but he tried to keep his voice as low and calm as possible and not to let his words tumble out in their usual cascade.

_Slow. Steady. We can't have BOTH of us panicking._

"There must be something I can do? Sing you a song, tell you stories of my worst sexual encounters...I'm guessing a quick blow job is not on the table? There's nothing to be ashamed of, fear of flying is incredibly common - and _terribly_ middle class, your family would be horrified, you should be proud of yourself...Or do you want anything? Chocolate? Water? For me to shut up and launch myself off this plane so you finally have some peace and quiet?"

 

Anders' babbling, although incessant, was a welcome distraction. Fenris remembered his exercises from doctor Orinso for anxiety attacks.

_Breathe. Find something to anchor yourself to the moment, a sense to focus on._

So Fenris did something he never did before. He reached out his hand, blindly grasping for the other man's. Once they were airborne and level he'd be fine. Fine-ish. Hopefully.

 

 

For a moment, Anders thought Fenris was trying to slap him - but then he realized what the probing, aimlessly flailing motions really meant, and they were all the invitation he needed. He reached out a hand and carefully brushed it against Fenris', who immediately closed his fingers around his in a vice-like death-grip.

Well, Anders had expected nothing less. _Let's just hope he doesn't break any bones._ He squeezed back, carefully, rubbing his thumb in slow, steady circles over Fenris' skin.

"Yes, that's it, just breathe, we're almost there." He kept talking, slowly, filling the space between them with meaningless, soothing chatter. Perhaps it would help, perhaps it wouldn't, but it was all he could do.

 

Anders' hand was was unfamiliar but comforting. His touch warm but firm. Hand holding wasn't an activity Fenris ever thought he'd subject himself to, but it was all he needed to feel grounded. Soon his breathing evened out as the plane reached altitude and leveled. The captain turned off the seatbelt sign and Fenris opened his eyes again.

"My apologies..." He said roughly. "I confess I am not the best flyer."

 

Anders was relieved to see Fenris finally open his eyes. His iron grip was no less bone-threatening than before, but on a whole, his posture seemed less rigid, his breathing almost back to normal. Apparently, the worst was over.

He smiled. "Nothing to apologise for, flying's a weird experience. I'm just glad you seem to be feeling better."

 

Fenris tentatively returned his smile then realised he was still holding Anders' hand. "Pardon," he said again, quickly snatching his hand back. "You seemed... comfortable in a comforting role."

 

Anders carefully flexed his fingers. _Well, everything seems to be still intact._ Strange as it was, he found himself already missing Fenris' touch. Having your hand crushed shouldn't have been an experience you wished to experience for any longer than necessary, but there it was.

_Weird_. Fenris was just a client and not a particularly forthcoming one at that. He had to be careful around this one. Getting attached was never a good idea and getting attached to someone who clearly saw him as nothing more than a whore, a chance to piss off his parents? Yeah, worst idea ever. But there was something about him that just...made Anders want to keep squeezing his hand for the rest of the flight.

Perhaps longer.

He gave a noncommittal shrug. "I'm used to it. It's a...personality thing. I can't stand by when I see someone in distress. And it's also pretty much part of the job. Quick ruts are not the only thing I'm hired for. Will you be ok now? Is there anything else you need?"

 

"No no, I'm fine. Thank you." Fenris remembered what he had intended to say before. The idea of making this surprisingly thoughtful man the object of ridicule for his family felt wrong. If it was just some bimbo in it for the money, it would have been no issue. But Anders was.... different.

"I have given it some thought. I... I think maybe we should refrain from disclosing your current employment to my family. Has there ever been another career you were interested in?"

 

Anders was too taken aback to reply for a moment. "I...why...that is quite a change of tactic? Are you sure? We don't have to on my account, I can handle it. It's not like I'll ever have to see them again and I doubt they'll consider me 'person' enough to even remember me a month from now so...if you really want to piss them off, we can just stick to the plan. But I can also be" -he bit his lip- "... anything you want me to be. I'm versatile..."

He flashed Fenris a cheeky grin and wriggled his eyebrows. "In more than...one way."

When in doubt, when things got too close for comfort, innuendos and excessive flirting had never let him down.

Fenris leveled Anders a bland look. "I'm sure..." He said, hoping the little tug at the corner of his lips wasn't showing. "But I am certain. The fact that you're a man and human is more than enough scare factor. It serves the purpose adequately. So see this as..." Fenris cleared his throat a little uncomfortable. "...as a role play weekend, if you will. Be whoever you want to be. As long as that character is completely taken with me, of course."

"A man and human...wow, your family sounds more charming by the second. I'm beginning to understand why you prefer living in our smelly little shit hole."

The smile on Anders' face was genuine. He was fairly certain Fenris hadn't been fooled by his attempts at distraction, but he'd let him get away with it anyway. For a moment there, he'd even looked...amused. Perhaps he wasn't considering Anders to be quite as beneath him as he'd thought.

"Well, completely taken with you won't be a problem - who wouldn't be? Handsome, smart, hard-working with remarkably strong hands, what's not to love?"

He stretched his legs out in front of him and leaned back in his seat, tapping his chin in a parody of distinguished thoughtfulness. "Now, who should I be...what's terribly middle class enough to be respectable but still make me essentially undesirable - well, beyond my gender and race...Teacher? Mailman? Small business owner? Erotic baker? Librarian? Help me out here, darling, what's gonna make them feel like they just stepped into peasant dung?"

"Hmmm..." Fenris eyed Anders leeringly up and down. "Male nurse. Working in a nursing home. So you give sponge baths and help old people go to the lavatory all day. They wouldn't want you to sit on the furniture," Fenris said smirking slyly. "Terribly working class. Just the way I love you, dear."

Anders wasn't sure how he felt about that particular suggestion - it hit a bit too close to home for comfort. But the way Fenris looked at him as he spoke, that slow trailing of his eyes, as if maybe, just _maybe_ he wasn't quite as disinterested in the goods as he made it seem...that, he was perfectly sure he liked.

 Stupid, really, to long to be desired by a client; since when did he care so much about that… He was getting paid either way; sex was not a requirement.

_But it sure would be fun... Who am I kidding, I'd do him for free any day. Twice on Sundays._

He shook his head, vigorously, praying his thoughts hadn't shown on his face. Back to what Fenris had said...what was it he had said? Ah, yes, right.

"Male nurse it is then. Bad pay, long hours, no respect...if that doesn't send them running for the hills, I don't know what would. I can work with that, I've been told I have a very nurturing personality."

It would be alright, certainly. Actually, it was kind of perfect. He was familiar enough with the field to be able to lie convincingly. And any bad associations would just have to be firmly pushed down. He could handle it. He'd do a good job, as always; Fenris would have no reason to complain.

 

Fenris nodded approvingly. "Then that settles it. My human male lover who gets paid to touch old people and shovel mashed peas into toothless mouths and I live in my tasteful and immaculate Hightown apartment. However, he would rather have us live like hippies in Lowtown with a hoard of cats. But I only permit you one."

Fenris picked up a chocolate and eyed it before slowly popping it in his mouth. "Sound right?" The more he was putting this life together in his head, the more he wanted it.

_Andraste's tasty bosom, even the way he EATS is sexy._ Well, he'd be damned if he'd let Fenris be the only one showing off seductive chocolate habits. He picked up a piece, lifted it to his mouth and let it trail along his bottom lip before he slowly, very, _very_ slowly, opened his mouth, placed it on his tongue and closed his lips around it. When he was finally done chewing and swallowing (again, _slowly_ ), he turned his head and gave Fenris his sweetest smile.

"Yep, sounds perfect. My manly, elven historian/home renovator lover and I are spending our days snuggled up on the couch with our cat, discussing our future in a cosy little love nest in the filthy, vibrant parts of the city filled with peasants and deviants. We complain about our hard but rewarding jobs while stuffing our bodies with cheap takeout and have good-natured squabbles over the remote before we eventually relocate to the bed, where we cuddle some more and make sweet sweet love all night. Did I forget anything?"

As he painted the fantasy, he couldn't help thinking how long it had been since he'd been snuggled up on a couch with someone.

Fenris made a face of the slow way Anders ate his chocolate. Was he having some kind of an attack? He looked positively pained. But then Anders went into an elaborate description of their lives and he couldn’t help the smile that grew.

"It sounds.... perfect." And he meant it.

So of course this was the moment when the red lights in Fenris’ head went off. _Too real, too close, no._

He quickly excused himself to go to the loo where he gave himself a hard look in the tiny little mirror after washing his face.

"Focus Fenris. This isn't about you. It's about so much more. Don't lose focus. ...no matter how appealing and perfect it may sound..."

_I hate to see you go...but I sure as hell enjoy seeing you leave..._  It was ok to check out a client's ass, so long as he did it discreetly, right? He was only human after all...

While Fenris was gone (probably to refresh himself after his prolonged moment of panic, spray some water on his face and walk off some of the tension...or maybe to drop a giant deuce, who knew) Anders went back to staring out the window, trying very hard not to think of just how perfect the life he'd just described really sounded.

He couldn't have that sort of life, he should know that by now. And he definitely couldn't have it with Fenris, a _client_. But a boy could dream...right?

 

 

Freshened up and the top button of his collar undone, Fenris returned. He had a moment of inner turmoil as he stopped before their seats, then took the middle seat next to Anders. "Do you mind if I sit here?" He asked as an afterthought. "I was thinking I should probably brief you more what to expect this weekend."

 

 

Anders was surprised that Fenris was actually taking the seat next time him - although not so surprised that he forgot to quickly snatch the chocolates out of the way. He hadn't expected Fenris to well, close the distance, but it was definitely not a bad surprise. A bit more intimate, and he smelled nice too. Anders was even willing to take a break from looking outside for a chance to enjoy that profile up close.

"Yes," he nodded, "I could definitely use more information. "

 

 

"Indeed." Fenris settled in comfortably as he thought. "First you'll probably meet my sister, Varania, and my mother. My sister is terribly spoiled, a bit of a bitch, but she has a decent mind for business. I'm hoping to pass on the business to her once she is 21 and can legally take on everything. My mother is kind, subdued. She...wasn't always like that. When I was young she was vibrant and funny, but since my father passed and...Danarius...she changed."

The plane dipped and shook through a bit of turbulence and Fenris made a grab for the armrests again.

 

 

Anders reached out a hand and lay it on top of Fenris', squeezing gently. He'd been acting purely on instinct; he wasn't sure if touch was still welcome - Fenris did look rather terrified, but nowhere near as panicked as he had during take-off - but now he was at least fairly certain that it wouldn't make Fenris uncomfortable.

He figured the worst that could happen was a slap on the wrist and a scowl. And well, he was getting used to the latter anyway.

"Alright," he said, deciding it was best to just keep talking as though everything was normal, "so, bitchy sister, quiet but kind mother...and...I'm sorry about your father." He bit his lip. Probably better not to ask further questions. "So that leaves this...Danarius. Your step-father?"

 

 

The plane leveled back smoothly and Fenris became aware of the warm, soothing hand on his. It was funny how it made him feel more secure somehow. So he didn't move his hand as he kept talking.

"When my father passed my mother suddenly had the business fall into her lap. Other family were ready to help but then... Danarius came out of nowhere." Fenris scowled darkly as he remembered first meeting the man.

"He claimed to be a business advisor and my mother felt he was her saviour. But slowly over time he has been taking over the whole business. He is threatened by me because he knows I want nothing to do with him and have the rights to the business, if I should want to take over. He also has my sister under his thumb so I can't pass the business off to her until I have convinced her to get rid of him."

Fenris sighed and looked to Anders. "Complicated, is it not?"

 

 

Fenris hadn't pushed his hand away...

Anders should definitely not feel as giddy about that as he did, nope, not very professional. He tried to focus on Fenris' words instead.

"Complicated, giant clusterfuck, abominable shit show...call it what you want, it definitely doesn't sound like an easy situation to be in. So basically you've got a business you don't want but can't get rid of because there's a vulture circling it...Or rather, already has its oily claws in it..."

He frowned slightly. "But...how do I fit into all of this? What's the big plan?"

 

 

Fenris sighed and absently let his thumb stroke over Anders' hand. "My whole family is looking to me to make everything. To take over the business and keep everything afloat. I'm the product of centuries of pure elven breeding and immaculate upbringing. My whole life was planned out since before I was born. I have no freedom... I don't wish to bore you with the 'poor little rich boy' routine...."

 

 

Anders let his head rest against the seat, keeping his eyes on Fenris'. It was nice sitting like this, with their hands touching, talking, almost like they were really...well, maybe not lovers, but...friends.

"Trust me, nothing is boring when it's said in that voice of yours. So please, give me as much of the sexy rich boy of adequate size story as you like..."

 

 

Fenris chuckled, a little colour heating up his cheeks. But then he remembered... Anders was a paid escort. He would probably have been flirting with him even if he was a gassy drunk dwarf if he paid him. His smile disappeared and he pulled his hand back to rub at the back of his neck.

"That is mostly it, I suppose. I have no freedom, I have no identity of my own. My family and the business has a very distinct version of me it wants and I want to put them off that. Show them I am not what they want that if the time comes to get rid of Danarius and pass the business to my sister, the majority vote will approve."

Fenris fidgeted, feeling stupid for being so drawn in by this man who probably didn't care at all about him. Anders was just being good at his job.

 

 

Anders tried not to mourn the loss of Fenris' hand too much and instead focus on his words - and the fact that he seemed genuinely troubled. By something that wasn't even remotely true.

"You moved to another country, pursued studies you were passionate about, took on a job you certainly don't _need_. You know how to set boundaries - remarkably well, I might add. You're polite and kind, but clearly take no shit, and you have enough stubbornness and angsty adolescent rebellion in that attractive body to march straight into an escort agency and hire a hooker just to show your family that you will indeed take no shit. I'd say that's plenty of identity. You've built a life for yourself here, haven't you? And if all it takes for you to fully enjoy that without the weight of generations past hanging over your head is to get rid of Danarius, then we'll find a way to make that happen. Does your sister want the business?"

He frowned, remembering something. "And...if Danarius is married to your mother, is there a way he might just take over and..."

He stopped himself mid-sentence. Fenris still looked miserable and here he was rambling on. "Sorry, I'm talking too much....it's a bad habit. Just...tell me how to act around your family, and how to treat Danarius, and I'll make sure to follow your plan."

 

 

Fenris studied Anders' face, searching for some sign that the escort might be putting up a front, but only found genuine concern in those lovely brown eyes.

"I... thank you. For recognising that. I may not feel the same, but it is... nice to have it appreciated. Independence is something that is important to me. If I were to be stripped of my family's name and money, I want there to be something left. And to your question, my sister is interested, yes. She's been adding 'CEO' to the end of her name since kindergarten and cried for a week when she found out the business would come to me, not her. But we don't get along."

 

 

Anders chucked softly. "She does sound like the right person for the job...and indeed like someone you might not get along with. But you don't seem to mind her taking over? I guess if she's capable, it really is the best solution. You'll finally be truly free to live your life, she gets the business she always wanted, everybody wins. So, what do you need me to do to make that happen?"

 

 

"I need you to..." Fenris stopped and thought. "Initially I wanted someone to scare off my family. But now I'm guessing I also just need someone on my side. I must admit Anders, you've surprised me so much."

 

 

Anders wasn't sure whether to frown or smile. "How so? What were you expecting? But"-the smile won out- "either way, you can be sure I am on your side. You're a great guy, and you should be free to live your life the way you want to, with a family that supports you, not suffocates you with expectations. So if what you need is a friendly face and someone to fight along your side, you got it."

 

 

Fenris chuckled a little to himself. _What a nice change._ " That is... good to know," he said gently. "Would you mind terribly if I take a nap? I suspect it'll be a long night for us when we land, and I haven't been sleeping well."

 

 

"No, I don't mind, I've got the view to keep me busy...and the chocolates." He winked. "But before you wake up all grouchy and private again...anything else a loving partner should know about you? Things like your age, your birthday, allergies, noticeable scars, and birthmarks come to mind...and are there any important ex-partners I am secretly really jealous of? Or close friends your family knows about?"

 

 

Fenris smiled and shook his head. "If it is not painfully obvious, I have never been in a serious relationship. I would be lost on this without you. So no exes for you to despise. Although my adopted cousin, Zevran, has made no secret of his advances. I think you two might get along well."

_Not too well. Or Zevran would have a finger or two broken._

"I am 27, allergic to latex, bees, and, as my family would have you believe, middle-class mediocrity. I... have a tattoo. But it doesn't show so I don't believe that would be of importance." He raised a curious eyebrow at Anders. "Same questions?"

 

 

Anders debated whether or not to answer honestly for a moment, but since Fenris had actually given him an honest (or at least Anders thought it was) answer, he didn't want to leave him hanging.

"Well, no exes to despise, that's a good start...although no, that wasn't obvious at all, could have fooled me." He flashed him a broad grin. "And don't pretend like you don't know my age and birthday already, you've seen my ID. No allergies except some light hay fever, no tattoos, only one serious relationship, quite a few scars - I'm clumsier than my natural sex appeal would have you think - but none of them stand out."

 

 

"Serious relationship? What happened?" Fenris asked, interested and turning to face Anders a bit better. He must admit to himself that a part of him was more curious about the scars, but he also felt like he wanted to get to know Anders.

Just for the weekend of course. Jap. Just the weekend.

_Was it possible to sweat internally?_

"He's...not around anymore." Anders swallowed thickly. No. It had been long enough. Not saying the words didn't make it less real. "He died. But it was a long time ago. I won't start telling sad stories in the middle of dinner, don't worry."

He gave Fenris a smile; it turned out weaker than he would have liked. "But anyway, you said you wanted to sleep, don't let me keep you. I'm sure I'll think of more questions - because it's important information to have, and also because you're interesting and I'm curious - but there'll be time for that later."

 

 

Fenris never did know how to comfort people. His emotional skills have always been on the weak side and he had never felt this inadequacy as strongly as he did now.

He couldn't force a smile, so instead he did what Anders did when he comforted Fenris when he was distressed during take off. He awkwardly put his hand on Anders' and gave a gentle squeeze.

"I am... sorry to hear that. For your loss." More than that Fenris didn't know what to do. It didn't escape his notice that Anders' partner was male, which was interesting. He turned toward and reclined his chair as much as it could and closed his eyes. All the while keeping his hand on Anders'.

 For reasons he didn't feel like investigating at this time.

 

 

Anders watched Fenris lean back and close his eyes with a soft smile on his face. Somehow, he'd found just the right tone, the right touch to make things...well, 'alright' wasn't the right word, it would never be alright, but...better. Fenris' hand was warm on his, firm, a soft, constant pressure grounding him. He didn't move to take his hand away.

Fenris would do that if he felt the need, but until then, Anders would allow himself to enjoy the feeling. He nestled into his seat and looked out the window at the sky.

 

 

Fenris was violently awoken by many things at once.

1 - the rattle of turbulence.

2- the captain announcing their descent into Minrathous.

3 - _who am I? Where am I? Who is this?_

4 - the warm hand gripping his in a soothing manner.

Fenris felt a wetness on his cheek and wiped at it with his free hand, but immediately spotted a wet spot on Anders' shoulder. _Fantastic. Because I've been doing 'so well' this far. I had to fall asleep on the man and drool on him._ "I- I'm sorry."

 

 

"Good morning, sleepyhead. Or well, good late afternoon." _No one should look this adorable with sleep in their eyes and drool on their face. I wouldn't mind waking up to this sight every morning..._

Anders quickly shook his head. Nope. He was a grown man and a professional; he would not get lost in silly fantasies.

"What are you sorry about? I had a lovely flight, you're warm, you smell nice, it was very cozy and comfortable. And look," he nodded to the window, "we've almost made it. Just a few more minutes and you'll have made it through this whole ordeal like the brave warrior you are. You're doing great, darling."

_That had no right to be as sweet and supportive as it was._

"I- Um- Thank you. It comforts me that you are this positive thus far into the weekend. You have yet to suffer my family. Not to mention we Leto's drink. A lot. And the flight back." In his sleepy mind he didn't question the instinct and gave Anders a saucy smirk and a wink. "Think you can bare that, sweetheart?"

 

Anders blinked. Once, twice. Finally, he let out a soft chuckle.

"Are you sure you have no experience with relationships? Because Maker's balls, you sure know how to make a man's heart skip a beat. Just give me that sexy look and I can bear _anything_. But," he added on second thought, "better don't let me drink too much. I'm a bit of a lightweight and I can guarantee I will get cuddly and you'll spend the rest of the night trying to peel me off you."

He gave Fenris' hand a final squeeze, then picked up his bag. "So...shall we get this party started?"

 

 

The idea of Anders smiling like that and clinging drunkenly to him was rather... appealing.

Fenris quickly fixed his clothes. "Let's."

The landing and disembarking was uneventful and went by quickly. Before they knew it they were walking out of the arrival gates. A tall man looking terribly bored held up a sign that said. "Fenris Leto & Guest" He spotted Fenris and greeted them with a slight tilt of the head.

_Alright, Leto. Showtime._

"Sebastian. It's good to see you. Might I introduce Anders... my boyfriend."

 


	4. Meet the Family

Of course there'd be a car to pick them up; Anders should have expected that. These people probably had a small army working for them.

Well, more people who'd look down their noses at him.

Just like this guy, who somehow managed to exude pure disdain with a completely blank expression. Or maybe Anders was imaging it. Hearing Fenris call him his boyfriend _had_ been a little distracting. It did have a nice ring to it. And while he, generally speaking, shouldn't let himself get lost in fantasies.... for the duration of the weekend, as long as they were around Fenris' family, it might even be safer to allow himself to indulge.

The more he believed in it himself, the more convincing it would be. He just had to remember to snap back to reality the moment the bedroom door closed. So...

"Nice to meet you." He offered the man his hand and was surprised when, after just a second of hesitation, he took it.

 

 

Fenris hesitantly put his arm around Anders' waist, frowning for a moment at how thin the man felt. Fenris spent hours exercising and doing physical labour at his job, so feeling bones through Anders' shirt was a little ... odd. He'd have to make sure Anders got second servings over the weekend.

"Shall we?" he said expectantly to Sebastian who was eyeing Anders with disdain. Well. His plan was working. He should be delighted but instead he felt... pissed off.

 

 

It felt good to have Fenris' arm around him. Sure, his touch was a little stiff, his posture a bit too stilted, but still...  There was something protective about it, like an actual boyfriend making sure there was no doubt they belonged together. The...chauffeur? butler? bodyguard/hitman? was still looking at Anders with his special brand of polite disdain, but he wasted no time nodding at Fenris' orders (framed as a question, sure, but he was the guy's boss, wasn't he), taking his bag - and after another _just-_ a-bit-too-long-to-be-a-coincidence moment of hesitation, Anders' - and led them outside to the car.

_I can't wait to see the palace they live in... I bet my apartment is smaller than their living room._

 

 

Fenris shooed Sebastian off with a wave of his hand and opened the door for Anders himself, holding out his hand to help him in.

_All those etiquette lessons are finally paying off, aren't they mom?_

He smiled at Anders then slipped into the back of the black Mercedes. The black leather interior smelled of expensive oil and money.

"Welcome to Tevinter, dear," he smiled, knowing Sebastian would be keeping the divider down to keep an eye on them in the rear-view mirror.

 

 

As he got into the car, Anders had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from giggling like a lovestruck teenager. _Maker's hairy man boobs, it's like I'm in a cheesy 'peasant meets prince' movie..._

Without the 'happily ever after' part, of course.

The car slid smoothly into traffic, houses flying past them in a blur, and Anders found he was oddly nervous. It was as though he could feel the quiet but disapproving presence of the driver all the way down to his bones.

"I can't wait to meet your family, love," he said with what he hoped passed for genuine excitement. "To see the house you grew up in." He gave Fenris' hand a light squeeze. _Yes, I'm touching him, jackass, deal with it._ "How far is it?"

 

 

"It's just a 15- minute drive to the outskirts of the city," Fenris answered coolly, putting his arm around Anders' shoulders. Seeing how genuinely excited Anders seemed at seeing Tevinter and meeting his family was striking a core Fenris didn't know he had. He wanted this to be real. _For the weekend it is._

"Master Fenris," Sebastian's tired voice spoke up. "I have been informed that Master Danarius will be joining your mother, sister, and yourself for dinner. Master Danarius has asked that you make yourself presentable for the occasion." Fenris clenched his fist and grit his teeth but didn't answer.

 

 

_‘Master’ Fenris... Alright, that settles it, I hate this place._

No wonder Fenris was so desperate to leave it all behind. Two minutes in a car with this man and already Anders felt stifled, like all joy was being sucked out of him. And that guy was just an _employee_. It made you wonder just how bad the family would be...

Well, thank you very much, but Anders refused to be intimidated. He'd had to fight hard for every little scrap of joy in his life; he'd be keeping them, come hell or high society.

_I'll give you a ‘human and a man'._

He leaned closer to Fenris and nuzzled his nose into his hair, giving his ear a playful little nudge and said, his voice loud enough to be heard by the driver. "Well, that won't be a problem, presentable is your natural state, darling. You could rock any room wearing nothing but shorts and a tank top...or those boxers I got you, you know which ones..."

 

 

Fenris gasped when Anders suddenly leaned into him, nuzzling into his neck and talking in his sexy low voice.

_Too much. Too close. Too fast._

Fenris closed his eyes for a moment and swallowed down the instinct to push Anders away. _It's okay. It's just Anders. He's just.... doing his job, I suppose..._

Fenris remained still as he gave Anders a weak smile. "Thank you, dear. But, why don't we admire the city for now? Leave the admiring in undergarments for when we're alone." He squeezed Anders' shoulder and pointed out some sights in the city as they drove.

 

 

"Well, it does seem kind of selfish to keep that glorious sight all to myself, but whatever you want, my love, you know I can't say no to you." He let his finger trail over Fenris' cheekbone - just for a second, there was no point in freaking him out again. "So, tell me," he nodded at the buildings outside, "what am I seeing here?"

As Fenris made the occasional comment on the sights of the city, Anders nodded attentively - without actually paying attention. He'd hoped the hand-holding during the flight would make Fenris feel less wary about physical contact, and he'd kept his touch as light as possible, but Fenris had still tensed up again immediately. This was more than mere discomfort; he _really_ had a problem with touch. Normally, that wouldn't be an issue - he wasn't the first client who wanted the social but not the physical aspects of his company. When it came to playing a couple madly in love with each other, however, it _did_ make things difficult.

Granted, Fenris wasn't the touchy-feely type, and his family most likely even less so, so there'd hardly be any need to dry-hump on the dinner table or start licking each other's tonsils over breakfast, but a pat on the arm, a kiss on the cheek, a hug, the everyday physical intimacy of two people who lived together... Anders had no idea how they were supposed to make it convincing without those.

Hopefully, they'd have a moment alone before dinner when he could bring the issue up with him. Perhaps they could come up with some kind of signal, a warning that Anders was about to touch him, so he'd be able to prepare himself for what to him seemed to feel like an attack on his personal space?

Lost in thought as he was, it took Anders a while to notice that the houses outside were getting larger and sparser. It seemed they were almost there.

 

 

"Here we are, Master Fenris. Welcome home," Sebastian announced as they pulled into the manor estate. The garden was lush and green, and even bigger than Fenris recalled. He made a note to ask Anders to accompany him for a walk around the garden tomorrow.

The car pulled up in front of the extravagant entryway and Fenris got out to hold the door open for Anders and hold his hand out. "Welcome, dearest. I do hope you find it to your liking."

 

 

Anders had made his way out of the car with slightly less grace than he would have liked - _damn, how does Fenris make it look so easy_ \- and was now staring at the giant house...mansion...no, it was a freaking _estate..._ with an expression that he had no doubt was giving their driver even more cause for disdain. At last, he managed to close his mouth and turn to Fenris.

"I... might need a map."

 

 

Fenris smiled and held his arm out for Anders to loop into. "I shall be your guide, fear not," he winked. He's pretty sure he heard Sebastian gag a little as he got their bags. Just as they started their way towards the door, it was flung open and two women appeared.

"Fenris! My darling boy, it's so good to- .... see.... you...."

"Mother, Varania, it's good to see you too. Meet Anders, my boyfriend."

 

 

It was lucky that Anders had gotten his facial muscles back under control; the resemblance between Fenris and his mother was uncanny.

  _Like mother, like son. Andraste guide me, this family is way too attractive._

Varania, he assumed, looked more like their father. At first glance, he'd never have guessed they were related - until he noticed the eyes. Yes, there it was. Same colour, similar spark. _And hey, look, same scowl too._

He was suddenly very glad to have Fenris' arm to hold on to. _Play it cool. And for the love of all that is holy, don't be yourself...they'll probably crumble to dust if you try to hug them._

"It is so good to finally meet you," he said, forcing what he hoped looked like a bright, polite smile.

 

 

His mother looked mortified. "Yes." She said quietly. "You too."

While she was staring at Anders like he might burst into flames like Andraste, Varania stepped in. "Wait... You're a dude? Fenris I never knew you were a gay?!"

"Bi, actually," he replied to his sister coldly. Of course, she would lose her tact within the first two minutes.

"Charming!" She giggled slyly. She awkwardly hugged her brother and whispered into his ear. "The family is going to _flip_!"

Then she held out her hand for Anders, whispering to the human so her mother couldn't hear. "I kissed a girl once. Don't tell!"

_No tact and no shame...maybe this one isn't so bad after all._

Anders took the hand Varania offered him, raised it to his lips for a brief kiss and used the accompanying bow to lean in and whisper conspiratorially, "And I've kissed at least 50 girls, more than once. Feel free to tell everyone." He winked. "Your secret is safe with me."

He stepped back with another surreptitious wink, then approached Fenris' mother with slow, cautious steps. He gave her just the hint of a bow, not wanting to reach out a hand she didn't want to take and put her on the spot. "I realise I must come as a surprise, but it really is a pleasure to meet you. You have a lovely home - I have never seen a garden as beautifully kept as this - and you have raised a wonderful son."

 

 

Fenris couldn't help but stare suspiciously as Anders charmed his sister into giggling and his mother into thawing into a soft smile.

_Well. He is a professional I suppose._

His mother relaxed a bit and smiled at Fenris. "Thank- Thank you. I'm sorry I didn't know Fenris was bringing someone. ...or that he _had someone."_ His mother scowled a bit at him, the most harmless sweet scowl, and there was nothing in Thedas that made him feel guiltier.

He bowed his head to avoid her gaze. "Be that as it may," his mother continued, smiling at Anders. "I shall have a second room prepared."

"Second?" Fenris suddenly interjected. "No, mother he will be staying in my room with me."

 

 

Anders bit his lip. A part of him felt elated at Fenris' insistence on a shared room, even if he knew it was just to further scandalise his family, but it did put him in an uncomfortable spot as to how to react.

He wasn't in a position to voice an opinion on this, and even if he had been, there was no good option. Politely assuring Fenris' mother that he didn't wish to cause trouble and would be perfectly fine with a second room would mean directly interfering with Fenris' plans, whereas agreeing that he "could absolutely not stand to be separated from his beautiful love for that long" would destroy whatever minuscule progress he might have made.

Which left him standing there awkwardly, chewing on his lip and giving Fenris' mother an apologetic look before he stepped back to Fenris' side, hoping it was a clear signal that that was where he stood. _At your side, whatever you choose to do...I just wish you'd been clearer about your plans...or...do you even know what your plan is?_

 

 

"Bu- but Fenris," his mother said a little distraught. "He- he is a man. A _human_ man! Now, what you do in Kirkwall is none of our business, have your fun by all means, but here - people will talk. You know we have an image to uphold. The servants will-"

"I don't care mother," Fenris said with an air of finality. "This is the man I love, and he will be sharing my bed as he has done for the past year."

"Y-year?" His mother took another look at Anders, an expression that was equal parts shock and nausea. This wasn't some fling, this was a serious partner. "Very well. I trust Sebastian will show you to your room. I... I need to go lie down before dinner."

Varania folded her arms and smirked as she watched her mother walking back into the house. "Well, this will be a fun weekend! We really need to do this more than once a year... it gets so boring around here."

_This is the man I love and he will be sharing my bed._

Anders could have burst into tears right then and there. He was perfectly aware it wasn't real, but that didn't diminish the power of feeling defended, accepted, like someone worth fighting for.

But more importantly...  _I am so fucking proud of you. I know how much strength this took, I know it better than anyone, you did so well..._

There was no way of saying it that didn't sound condescending, though, so he just squeezed Fenris' arm - probably a bit too tightly - and whispered. "Thank you, love."

 

 

Fenris was startled at the sincerity in Anders' voice. Their eyes locked as Varania traipsed back into the house. "You're welcome," he said, with no one but Anders to hear it.

Before either could say more Sebastian closed the boot of the car and walked up to them. "This way, if you please," he said with a tired voice.

"My quarters are on the other side of the house," Fenris told Anders as they followed. Then a little softer so Sebastian, who was storming ahead, clearly eager to have this over with, couldn't hear. "I... hope it's okay that you share my chambers. I know we didn't discuss it beforehand. I promise to be a perfect gentleman."

 

 

Damn, this Sebastian guy seemed to be trying to set a new record for speed-walking. _Well, we definitely won't be friends._

Varania wasn't quite what he had expected, though. There was clearly some rivalry there, but it might not actually be genuine _dislike_. And there was a spark of mischief there as well, the same he occasionally saw in Fenris' eyes.

 And his mother...well she'd been clearly shocked but at least she hadn't released the hounds so... perhaps it wouldn't be _quite_ as bad as he'd feared. _A man and a human..._ But it clearly wouldn't be a walk in the park either.

His musings were interrupted by Fenris apologising for having insisted they share a room. _A perfect gentleman._ Anders couldn't help but smile. _Apologising to a hooker...he's really something, isn't he_?

"No, Fenris," he said just as softly. " _I_ promise to be a perfect gentleman. And it's perfectly fine. Necessary, even - I'd never find my way back to my room without you by my side anyway."

 

 

Fenris smirked at that. "I believe you. In high school, I once ditched a date our parents had set up for us in these hallways. I offered a tour of the house and then slipped into one of the bathrooms and out the window. Varania found her in a linen closet almost two hours later." He mused as he thought aloud. "The two ended up getting along swell as I recall. I wonder what did ever happen to Sera..."

 

 

Anders chuckled. "I see, I should tread lightly... If I piss you off, you'll just abandon me somewhere deep in the belly of this place and I shall be left to helplessly roam these giant halls looking for an exit...until one day, an unsuspecting maid will stumble across my decomposing remains."

Up ahead, ~~the piece of human excrement~~ their driver had stopped in front of a door near the end of the hall.

 

 

Sebastian opened the door with a flourish and dropped their bags in the middle of the reception and living area in his quarters. Fenris should thank him, but he had something more important to say. "I'll never do that to you," Fenris said seriously, looking at Anders. "Those ‘ _dates’_ were against my will. Our parents trying to plan our lives and future children to their own benefit. I didn't choose that. I choose this. I chose you."

 

 

Anders swallowed at the intensity of Fenris' gaze, but he didn't look away. "I know." He squeezed his arm. "There's no more need to get rid of people who were forced on you - you choose who you let into your life."

His mouth curled into a half-smile. "And who you kick out of it. No need for a murder-maze, if you _do_ get tired of me, you can just tell me to leave. Just," he winked,"do it near the front door. But I'd prefer to stay because," he raised his voice slightly to give the driver one final thing to complain about, "I would choose you each day anew, no matter what comes, forever."

With that, he finally turned his attention to Fenris' room - and promptly lost the ability to speak at the sheer size of it.

 

 

Fenris gave a small secret smile to Anders' response. _He gets it._

"Thank you, Sebastian. You are dismissed."

"By your leave, Master Fenris." The man said with the slightest little bow of the head, before leaving and closing the door behind him.

"Finally... some privacy..." Fenris sighed as he unbuttoned the top button of his black shirt. "This is the living area. Through there is the balcony and lounge with a bar, if you wish to fix yourself a drink. And this way is my bedroom, wardrobe, and bathroom. I'll take our bags through. Please make yourself at home."

 

 

"This...this is like a small house inside a larger house. It's like your own apartment...Shit, it's probably twice the size of _my_ apartment... Did...was this..your...’bedroom’ when you were a child too?"

Anders was still staring at his surroundings in disbelief. Of course, he'd had filthy rich clients before, quite a few of them actually, but there was a difference between rich and... _this_. The house looked impressive enough from the outside but the inside... He realized that up until now, he hadn't fully realised just _how_ different the worlds they came from really were.

"Eh...I don't suppose you have, ahem...soda?" he asked, just to say anything at all. _I guess the upside is that there's a sofa...well, five sofas. No need to worry about accidentally snuggling up to him in my sleep then._

 

 

Fenris narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Anders but the corners of his lips tugged regardless. "Soda? There's soda water. There might be some soft drinks, I'm not sure. But if there's anything you want, anything at all - let me know and I'll have it stocked in there for you. I have three of the world's rarest whiskeys in there, adding soda to the bar will be no issue."

Fenris placed their luggage on the luggage benches and opened his. He pulled out a soft black t-shirt and quickly took off his stiff button down and changed into the softer shirt. He also toed off his hard leather shoes and slipped into his trusted sneakers. As he turned to re-join Anders his eye caught his luxurious super king-sized bed.

The one thing in this monstrous house he missed. It was twice as big as the one he had in Kirkwall, but somehow it felt like a shame that he and Anders would have so much space between them tonight.

 

 

"Water's fine, thanks. I'd rather stay away from whiskey and the like, you know, keep my wits about me..."

While Fenris carried their luggage into the bedroom, Anders made his way to the bar in the lounge and awkwardly fumbled around for something non-alcoholic. There wasn't exactly much choice in that department - apparently, the Letos really did drink a lot - but eventually, he found a small bottle of water. Two years past its expiration date, but well, it was just water; it'd be fine.

Not bothering with a glass, he went back into the living area and plopped himself down on one of the sofas. _Daaaaamn, my ass feels like it's sitting on a cloud._ It seemed there was something to be said for decadent luxury after all. And it _was_ a nice place.

It just...didn't look like a place a 27-year-old would feel at home him. It... didn’t look like Fenris.

Fenris chose that moment to enter the room and speaking of looks...

"Holy nug king, you're gorgeous."

He'd changed into a simple, short-sleeved shirt that made him look younger and somehow more...real. There was a natural confidence about him like this, like he'd shed an unfitting layer of skin. The way the soft, clingy fabric allowed for a better guess at what lay beneath also might have something to do with it. Just a little.

Anders cleared his throat. "Ahem, I meant, this looks really good on you. Should I change into something more casual too? Or something more formal? Sorry, I'm not sure what the requirements are."

 

 

Fenris was a little startled by the compliment and felt the tips of his ears heat up. Although many before had complimented his looks, hoping to win his attentions, there was just a sincerity and authenticity in Anders he had never come across before.

"I... erm... thank you. It's just more comfortable than my travelling attire. And we won't have to be presentable again until dinner, and that's an hour and a half away."

He looked down at his feet as he ventured it. "I was wondering if you'd like to take a walk around the gardens with me?"

 

 

_Aww, he's so cute when he's shy and blushing._

Although it _was_ a little weird that he reacted like that to every compliment he received. He should have been used to that - surely people were telling him how handsome he looked left and right every day?

_He can't NOT know how hot he is. It's just not possible._

Anders took one last sip of his water, then smiled up at Fenris.

"I'd love to."


	5. Warming Up

Fenris smiled politely and again held out his arm for Anders. He may not be in his more formal attire, but he was still a gentleman. "So you don't get lost."

Fenris guided them through the house into the gardens. It was lush and the scent of flowers was pleasant. It was also quiet, save for birds and bubbling water fountains. "I always loved the garden. It's the best place to hide from mother, or some tutor or music teacher or family hoping to arrange a marriage..." He turned to Anders. "Where did you grow up? Did you have a good childhood?"

 

 

Anders hesitated for a moment - there were quite a few things that still needed to be discussed before dinner. But the garden around them was beautiful, like they'd stepped into another world, a secluded place of quiet and beauty where no one could find them; Fenris was guiding him along the paths like a perfect gentleman; the touch of his arm against Anders' felt warm and soothing...

Oh, fuck it, they still had over an hour before they had to get ready for dinner. He could allow himself a few minutes of small talk, of pretending this was an actual date. Not to mention that Fenris had made an effort to be open, even though it clearly wasn't easy for him. It was only fair to give something back. He turned to him with a smile.

"I grew up in Ferelden. In a small-ish town, you know the ones, picture-perfect lawns and trimmed hedges, like the inside of a snow globe. And my parents... they were pretty much like that too. I'm an only child, but there were lots of kids around in the neighbourhood, I never felt alone... Yes, yes, I think it was a good childhood. I was happy, I felt loved. We weren't rich, my parents sometimes struggled to make ends meet like most people, but all in all, we had everything we needed."

He winked. "Small home, tiny garden, two dogs...all _terribly_ middle class. Things were good."

For a moment, he debated whether or not to continue, but at last he said, "For a while. My father was the religious type. The _really_ religious type. Around my 12th birthday, it turned out I wasn't what he wanted me to be ... in just about every way, as I realised a couple of years later. He took it about as well as most fathers do... and unlike some of them, he never reconsidered. So... happy childhood, unhappy adolescence. The day I finished school, I got on a plane to Kirkwall, and never went back. Didn't ever get on another plane..." He flashed Fenris a grin as he nudged his shoulder. "Until you came along."

 

 

"I am...sorry about your father," Fenris said quietly. The need to comfort arose but as usual, Fenris didn't know how to handle it. He gently put his hand over Anders' that was holding onto his arm.

"I can't imagine that was easy... Coming to a new city so young, alone." There were a few years age difference between them, but Fenris couldn't help but wonder... if he had met Anders then, before he became a prostitute, if things would have turned out different.

"How did you cope?"

 

 

No questions, no probing, no "what happened". Just a sincere "I am sorry". Anders could have wept with gratitude. He didn't, you don't last long in this job if you don't know how to keep your composure, but he did briefly interlace his fingers with Fenris' and gave them a soft squeeze.

"Thank you. And no, it wasn't easy. But I had a place to stay. A... well, sort of an online friend I knew from back in Ferelden. We'd only met briefly during a... hospital visit, but we stayed in close contact. He was a few years older and had already moved to Kirkwall, so I could stay with him. I worked odd jobs at first; it didn't make much but I got by. When I got into college, I needed more. Working as an escort paid well, and it had the added satisfaction of knowing it would have pissed off my father more than anything. It wasn't easy... between work and school, I didn't have much time for other things, I wasn't used to living in a big town like this and I often felt lonely... But it was still a million times better than what I'd left behind."

He gave Fenris what he hoped was an encouraging smile. "What about you? How did you make it from here to Kirkwall?"

 

 

Fenris felt saddened by this. Anders had chosen to come to Kirkwall, chosen the job to earn more money, but that didn't mean it was _his choice_ if he didn't really have alternatives. It bothered him, more than it should.

"I bought a ticket the day of my graduation, stayed for the expected family celebration, and got on a plane the next morning. I only called my mother from Kirkwall to say that I would not be going to the University of Minrathous to study law, like they chose, but Kirkwall. I was fortunate. And stubborn."

Fenris turned to Anders as they strolled through the rose gardens. " What did you go to school for? You haven't said as much, but I'm assuming you didn't finish?"

 

 

Anders let his gaze wander over the flowers around them. This part of the gardens was particularly beautiful. Up ahead, he could see a little bench, nestled between bushes and facing a fountain, and he wondered if maybe they could sit down, just for a little while, enjoy the evening glow and listen to the sounds of the water together.

But if it became necessary to distract from the topic, it would be easier to achieve while they were walking. It wasn't that he wanted to lie to Fenris, but the whole story... it was interwoven with so many aspects of his past, laying it all out in a way that gave the whole truth... that would take longer than the hour they had left.

And it would hurt, and possibly ruin his chance at helping Fenris. He wouldn't be the first to think less of him for it. Anders couldn't risk messing up everything right at the start of the weekend, even if some foolish, hopeful little part of him wanted this man to know him, to know _everything_.

"Medicine," he finally said, quietly. He would stick to the safe parts, but he wouldn't lie. "That's why I needed a job that paid _really_ well. As you can imagine, it isn't cheap - and it takes a long time. I did finish, though. I just... didn't stay in the field for long. Just a couple of years before I went back to..."

He forced a smile and turned to Fenris with a flip of his hair. "What I'm _really_ good at. As I hope you can attest to, everything else would have been a waste of my charm and stunningly good looks. But what about you? It sounds like you weren't much older than I was when you came to Kirkwall all on your own? How did you manage? It must have been a huge change from... how you grew up."

 

 

Fenris noticed that Anders was trying to divert the conversation. _A prostitute who studied medicine and graduated? There's more to the story, surely._

Fenris took Anders by the hand and led him to a secluded little bench. It was a peaceful spot, it always made him feel safe as a kid. He hoped it would have the same effect on Anders. He sat them down then turned his serious gaze on the man.

"So you... finished medicine school? But you're not a doctor? Why?" Fenris quickly spotted the signs of nervousness that Anders probably didn't even know he was showing. A slight finger flex, shifting eyes, curling shoulders. "If you do not wish to tell me, I shall not push. But I... I would like to know."

_Is this what a relationship is like? The caring and listening? I… quite like it._

 

 

_Should have known he was too smart for that._

In just a few seconds, Anders came up with several dismissive explanations -  too many hot nurses, what can you do; turns out I can't see blood after all, what an unfortunate turn of events; do you know how _early_ doctors have to get up -  and then discarded every single one. It wouldn't have been hard to blow Fenris' off, if not for that one, tiny detail: he _liked_ Fenris.

It was silly; he'd only just met him, knew next to nothing about him - and most importantly, was nothing but a paid escort to the man - but there it was. A few feet away, the fountain gurgled its soft, peaceful murmur.

_Maker, this place is beautiful. It's a place for funny anecdotes, for kisses and sweet nothings. A place for real dates, not for old hookers and sad stories._

Eyes fixed on his feet, he took a deep breath. "I was still in residency when I was faced with a difficult decision. And I made the right choice," he said firmly; because even after all that had happened he still knew it to be true, "but it wasn't, strictly speaking, a legal choice, and I was let go."

He looked up at Fenris, hoping his eyes would show that he meant it. "Listen, I am not trying to blow you off. If you really want to know the whole story, ask me again after the weekend, when all important events are dealt with. If you still want to know then, I'll tell you everything... And," he added after a moment's hesitation, "every other story you might like to know."

He gave Fenris' hand a quick squeeze. "And I wasn't just trying to distract you when I asked about your arrival in Kirkwall. I mean, I was, but I also genuinely want to know. I can't imagine it was easy to go from.... this... to Kirkwall. All on your own and so young..."

 

 

Fenris looked down at their hands, considering what Anders was saying. There was so much more to this man that met the eye; so much more than he anticipated when he first walked into the Rose.

But would he remain in contact with Anders after the weekend? Would he be able to spend time with him, knowing he would be spending his time with...others?

He didn't know if he could do that. He squeezed Anders' hand too and withdrew, folding his arms as he sat back and looked at the fountain. "I understand. I will respect your privacy, I apologize if I made you uncomfortable. I didn't mean to pry."

He cleared his throat. "To your query - it wasn't that hard if you never wanted it. I mean, I do still have certain luxuries in Kirkwall that I feel I have grown so accustomed to that I see it as a necessity, but if you're as driven as I was to be independent it's easier. That, and I've had my own bank account with my own funds, fuelled by investments and business shares, since I was 16. Which is cheating, I admit."

 

 

Anders breathed a sigh of relief. If Fenris did decide to ask again after the job was done, the worst that could happen was that it would ruin their flight home. Which would still be sad, of course, but at least it would be over quickly. It might even make saying Goodbye easier.

He felt himself relax as he smiled at Fenris. "I wouldn't say it's cheating - you'd already taken the leap to independence, why make yourself suffer just to prove a point? It just means certain things were easier for you.... while some others were probably harder. You were still all on your own, and I'm assuming not used to taking care of yourself. How did you end up in that renovating job?"

 

 

Fenris smiled a bit at that fond memory. "My friend, Hawke, is quite a ... force of nature, you could say. I met him shortly after I arrived in Kirkwall. Danarius had sent an immigration officer he undoubtedly paid to my apartment to say my visa was not valid as I didn't have an income, and I would be deported. Hawke happened to be visiting his friend, Varric, who is my neighbour. Without hesitation, he just stepped forward and introduced himself as my employer."

He looked back at Anders. "Hawke is just like that, he jumps in head first and then asks questions later. Since then his little renovation business has flourished, with his eagerness, Varric's contacts for the best prices and products, and my knowledge of interior and design. He later hired a Rivaini woman who has a knack for landscaping, a talent she picked up while growing her underground weed empire. There's also his brother, Carver, who is good at woodwork, and his sister, Bethany, who is a wizard with paint. The two used to be in construction together but now do this. I… owe them much."

 

 

_A force of nature._

"He sounds like a great guy."

_And you sound like you have a bit of a crush on him._

Anders forced down the surge of unbidden jealousy that rose within him at the thought. He had no business being jealous; he was a professional for fuck's sake. If anything, he should be happy that Fenris had close friends like this, a social life, a safety net to fall back on. Regardless of how things turned out with his family today - he'd need it.

"So you've settled in well in Kirkwall then... But, if you don't mind me asking, why Kirkwall? Surely you could have gone anywhere you liked? And what about school? You said you studied history?"

 

 

"Kirkwall.... ticked all the boxes, I guess. It's a city-state, so politics was limited, their education is great, and they're generally open to various cultures. My family has many friends and associates all over, except in Kirkwall. It had always been seen as a..." he chuckled as he remembered his grandmother's words. " _Trash city_. Which is what I wanted."

He turned to Anders but before he could continue a snooping gardener peeking between the hedges caught his eye. He narrowed his gaze and the man quickly sputtered and scurried off. _Not as private as I thought then._ Fenris stood with a sigh.

"I supposed we better start getting ready. I don't know about you, but I would like to take a shower before." He held his arm out for Anders and they started walking back.

"And to your question, I went to Kirkwall University. As you surely know the university, built on the foundations of the former slave trading post then circle, is steeped in history itself. It seemed almost prophetic that a descendant of the Leto bloodline should study there, seeing as the original Fenris Leto fled to Kirkwall himself for a time during the Dragon Age era."

 

 

"Trash city..." Anders chuckled. "Well, they're not wrong. But to me, that's part of its charm. And yes, a shower sounds heavenly, I'd like to wash that plane smell off me before we have to face your family again."

He took Fenris' arm and let himself be guided back to the house. "I'd really be lost here without you... I'd probably end up living in a bush, somewhere."

Fenris gave no reaction beyond a brief, low chuckle, and they continued to walk in silence for a couple of minutes. As the main entrance came into view, Anders turned to Fenris, chewing on his lip. Best to get this over with while he could still be sure there was no one listening in from the other side of the door.

"I still need you to brief me for dinner and to help me choose an outfit. And... there’s something else. I've noticed you tense up every time I touch you - I don't mean to pry, you said you didn't like to be touched and I respect that, but... if we want to be convincing, it might become necessary to... display some degree of physical affection. Nothing too excessive, don't worry, just things like... holding your hand, stroking your cheek, putting my arm around you. I don't want to make you uncomfortable, though, so... maybe we could come up with some sort of sign or code word that lets you know I'm about to touch you, so you can prepare yourself?”

Feeling Fenris going rigid at his side, he quickly added, “Unless it makes you too uncomfortable in general. Either way, I need to know your limits, some ground rules to make sure I don't accidentally unsettle you. I just... want to know how to best support you. Also, when it comes to dealing with your family."

 

 

Fenris immediately tensed at the mention of his aversion to touch. He'd thought he had gotten so much better at handling it... at hiding it. Telling Anders the reason for it was out of the question. He hadn't told anyone, and he wasn't going to start now.

"I... Yes, if you could give me some warning, I would appreciate it. I apologize if it complicates matters." He thought for a moment then turned to Anders, his expression serious. "The sign can be you clearing your throat. That way I will know to brace and expect it. You may touch me as you think a couple that has been together this long would. But _never_ touch my neck!"

Fenris realised he had gotten intense and possibly harsh to someone who wanted to... 'support him'. He wasn't sure what that meant. "I don't mean to come across as difficult. I understand you're trying to..." _Maker why did it hurt to say it?_ "...do your job."

 

 

_NEVER touch my neck._

Anders tried to school his expression, tried not to show the flood of thoughts that rushed through his mind. The way Fenris had looked at him, the tension, the sheer panic lurking beneath the surface. There were several possible explanations, none of them good.

There was more to it than a simple aversion; this was serious and... _And_ he had to quell those fears, that impulse to get to the root and make it better; he had to stop trying to analyze Fenris' words and actions, and he had to stop _right fucking now, you're only gonna make it worse, you're a stranger he's paying, no matter what you say or do, it will only hurt him more_.

He nodded, keeping his voice as casual as he could and his smile bright. He had a feeling Fenris was the type to easily mistake sympathy for pity. "Got it. I will clear my throat before I touch you, and I will stay away from your neck. And I promise I'll keep it to a minimum. Your family doesn't exactly strike me as people who spend a lot of time hugging each other, and as this is my first meeting with them, they'll expect some nervousness and stiffness. We probably won't need more than a kiss on the cheek or two, maybe not even that."

He gave Fenris' arm a light squeeze. "And don't worry, you're not being difficult. Quite the opposite, really, you're being honest and clear about your boundaries. That makes it easier to... well, yes, to get the job done, but it also makes me feel better to know neither of us is doing anything they don't enjoy."

 

 

Fenris kept his eyes averted. "No, _my family_ are not the hugging, touching type..." he said, but more to himself. He kept quiet as he guided them through the house and back to his quarters where he quickly let go of Anders once the door was closed.

In here there were no prying eyes, no expectations to uphold. He could just be. "Would you like to shower first?" He asked as he walked into the bedroom, opening his suitcase and cupboard to decide what to wear tonight.

 

 

_Well, as I'm guessing showering together is not an option..._

Anders kept his smile private and turned to Fenris with a nod. "Sure, why not. If you want to, you can look through my clothes and decide what best to wear in the meantime. You don't have to, of course, just if you get bored."

He grabbed the towels Fenris had laid out for him and turned to leave for the bathroom as a thought occurred to him. "Just, eh, ignored the more... ahem, racy things. I wasn't sure what would be needed, so I packed a broad selection. I'll make it quick, you'll have all the time you need in the shower."

He walked through to the bathroom, closed the door, left his clothes in a pile on the floor - he could just wrap himself in one of those giant, unbelievably soft towels afterwards - and stepped into the shower.

 

 

Fenris grunted in agreement but was busy picking an outfit. Once he had his selected, a dark emerald button-down shirt with chrome cufflinks, fitted black trousers with matching black leather shoes, belt with chrome buckle, and tie, he turned his attention to Anders' bag.

He carried it to the bed and started packing the items out neatly on the bed to assess his options ... when he reached in and pulled out a red velvet bag filled with loose items. Curiosity winning over, he opened it and immediately gasped and dropped it on the bed.

Cautiously he approached it again and peered inside. _It was like a pervert's handbag!_ Lube, of various colours, condoms, a... cock ring? A small plug-shaped item, a large rubber penis, and a string with beads.

 "...what in all that is holy..." Fenris peeked back into Anders' bag and lifted the more formal clothes out, to find ... what could only be described as lingerie in the bottom.

He felt dirty...and excited... as he stared at it all, his mind picturing Anders in the lace and string. But then, the sound of the shower turning off was like a slap in the face.

_Shame on you, Fenris!_

The elf hastily grabbed the most appropriate looking items - a dark red shirt and dark brown pants, tossed it on the bed and shoved everything else back in.


	6. Shaken Not Stirred

If Anders had wished Fenris were with him before, he _definitely_ did the moment he stepped into the shower.

_How the frikkin fuck do I turn this thing on???_

He stared at the strange arrangement of buttons and levers in front of him in dismay, unable to make sense of it, and finally decided to just... start pressing things. 30 seconds later he knew that this contraption had more than one shower head and enough water pressure to knock the breath out of your lungs. At least he'd managed to avoid slipping and knocking out his teeth. It had been a close call, though.

Five minutes later, having somehow managed to clean himself and switch it back off, he stepped out of the death trap, dried himself off, wrapped a fresh towel around himself and returned to the bedroom. It didn't take him long to assess the situation: his clothes were laid out on the bed and Fenris... Well, Fenris' face was about the same colour as the shirt he'd picked out for Anders.

"I... assume you... saw some things." He gave Fenris an apologetic smile, using both hands to make sure the towel stayed in place - worst moment ever for a potential wardrobe malfunction.

"Sorry, I probably should have been a bit clearer with my warning. I like to be prepared for whatever my partner might want, so I packed for all eventualities. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, had I known you don't want me at all I wouldn't have brought all that stuff and spared you the shock. Just ignore my slutty, slutty ways. Also, your shower nearly killed me."

 

 

 _"...had I known you don't want me at all..."_ _Oh Maker have mercy... if you only knew..._

"I, er-, ye- yes. The shower. It is rather, erm, complicated. I should have... explained it. Sorry. I... I should shower now."

Fenris avoided eye contact and quickly darted for the safety of the bathroom. As his entire quarters had no doors save for the one from the hall and those leading to the balcony, he quickly slipped around the corner and pressed his back to the wall.

_Get yourself together Leto! Focus. He is a paid escort. You did not invite him for such things. You will not ...'use him'...as others do. Now shower and get dressed._

 

 

_Great job, Anders. You spooked him for eternity and beyond._

Anders sighed at the empty room. Fenris couldn't have fled faster if he'd tried. He could only hope he hadn't ruined things completely. Of course, he couldn't expect Fenris to trust him after such a short time - and considering he was paying for the whole thing - but he'd been hoping they might at least have reached a level where he felt somewhat comfortable around him.

_Well, nothing to be done about that now, the mabari already crapped the bed. Better hurry and get dressed, if he ends up walking in on you naked he'll run all the way back to Kirkwall._

He discarded the towel and got dressed, sticking with the outfit Fenris had chosen for him - plus a pair of boxers. In his shock, Fenris had apparently forgotten that he also needed something to wear underneath.

_Probably not the time to make a joke about going commando either._

When he was dressed, he went to sit on one of the couches in the living area to give Fenris some privacy.

 

 

Fenris had to focus on naming all the ages of Thedas and their historical highlights during his quick cold shower to keep from touching a _certain_ appendage which was still too fascinated with the idea of Anders in lacey panties.

_Not that I would even know what to do with him... And now I'm thinking it again. Kaffas! Okay next was the steam age..._

After his shower, he quickly applied some cologne and returned to the empty room to get dressed. With his mind now back on the dinner, his nerves were returning. He left his shirt open and just slung his tie around his neck as he walked back into the living area, passing through to the bar and lounge on the other end.

"I need a drink. Can I get you anything?"

 

 

_He looks so stressed, like a bundle of raw nerves in a suit... I wish I could massage the tension out of those shoulders..._

He should really keep his wits about him... but one drink wouldn't hurt. He'd just go easy during dinner. He liked the thought of sitting together and sharing a drink for a few minutes. The companionable calm before the storm.

"You know what, I could use one too. Just... surprise me."

 

 

Fenris turned and let his eyes trace over Anders.

_Steelworks._

He turned to the bar and made a Steelworks for Anders and a gin and tonic for himself. Extra gin. He returned to sit next to Anders, passing the drink to him.

"I hope you like it. It's not too strong."

 

 

Anders gingerly took the drink from Fenris, mentally scolding himself for being so disproportionately happy that Fenris had chosen to sit _next_ to him. He took a careful sip - _Maker, this is delicious_ \- and then a couple more not so careful ones.

"This is amazing - maybe you should reconsider your choice of career. What's in it?"

 

 

"Cola tonic, soda water, bitters, and ginger beer. I'm glad you like it," he said offering a faint smile. "I... spent quite a lot of time in bars. Back in school, it was a way to rebel. Now it's just because, well, Hawke and his friends spend so much time in them for a long time I thought at least two of them _lived_ there."

 

 

"I love it, I've never had one of these before. At least your teenage rebellion left you with some valuable skills." He leaned in closer and whispered.

"Wanna know a secret? When I ask the barkeeper at the Rose for the 'usual', he just gives me plain water in a fancy glass. When you spend half of each day sitting at a bar, you learn to cut back. I'm not that big on spirits... but _this_ I could drink all day."

 

 

The gin did the job quickly, especially as he had skipped lunch. His nerves were calming and he felt a little bolder. "You don't say? Smart man. As long as no one comes in and orders 'the usual' and it's _you_ , I wouldn't mind hearing more of your 'tricks of the trade'. I can also give you the virgin recipe for a Steelworks, if you prefer."

 

 

Anders licked his lips, barely even realising he was doing it. Shy, blushing Fenris was hot but assertive, flirty Fenris? Freaking _lava_. And it got to him more than he'd anticipated.

"Oh, please do. I'm always in the mood for something _tasty_ to... spice things up." He grinned. "And we rarely get anything _virgin_ in the Rose so that'd be a nice change. And for you, my dear, I will spill any secret of our ancient profession that you'd like to know."

He suddenly remembered the beginning of what Fenris' had said and found himself sobering up a bit. A tiny, tiny bit.

"And no, no one's ordering me as 'the usual'. I mean, there _is_ sort of a menu but the Rose is a good place. Sure, Jethann needs to make a profit too, so we don't go around refusing clients left and right, but I do have final say."

 

 

Fenris bit his lip and frowned at his glass. "That's good. That you can say no. It's... important."

He quickly cleared his throat and took another deep drink. "Who is Jethann?" He asked. Not that he really cared. As long as he took more 'business' than Anders. He cursed himself mentally for _wanting_ Anders not to be good at his job. Knowing full well he was. He was charming, intelligent, handsome beyond measure... and worth so much more gold than people pay him.

"And is there really a menu? That sounds a little... objectifying..."

 

 

Anders smiled. "Well... yes. At the end of the day, we _are_ objects on sale. No," he quickly shook his head, " _we_ aren't. Our company, our bodies, everything else can't be bought. I'm surprised you don't know about the menu. There are usually a couple laid out at reception. They're to give people an idea of what's on offer, it helps with nervousness. Well, for those who _are_ nervous. Some just want a quick way to pick out the 'hottest bod', and check whose specialties - not everyone will do everything - match their needs. We offer more than just sex and most customers appreciate that, but some... well, there's no polite way to say it, some just want someone for quick and easy access, and they prefer a classy place like ours where they can be sure the 'goods' are clean."

Seeing Fenris' expression, he quickly added, "But what I said is true - I do have final say. People can look at the menu and name a preference, but they can't just _order_ me. That goes for all of us. Granted, we need to make a living so it's not like you deny someone just because they have a weird toupee, but if someone's rude or gives off a creepy vibe? You refuse. That's why I came back to work at the Rose, actually. When I first started doing this job, I worked for another service where things were a little... different. But this is a good place, really. It helps that Jethann did this job himself for a long time. Still does, occasionally, when he gets bored. Oh, yes, he's the owner."

He chuckled. "Slept himself to the top in a very real sense."

 

 

Fenris picked at the rim of his glass, a frown set on his brow.

_No. No this is wrong. Bodies should not be for sale. Anders should not be for sale._

Fenris shook his head and ran his hand over his face. "I guess it's the 'Fenris Leto' blood in me, but I need to be honest with you, Anders..." He looked up into those beautiful, soulful brown eyes and the words died on his lips.

Anders chose this. It wasn't illegal. Hell, he went in there looking for a prostitute and found one, now he doesn't like that he is a prostitute.

_What a hypocrite you are Leto._

Fenris smiled weakly. "Never mind."

He quickly checked his watch and saw they had 2 minutes to get to the dining hall. "Kaffas, I lost track of time. Shall we?" He quickly downed the rest of his drink before buttoning up his shirt, tucking it in and fixing his tie.

 

 

"Easy there, tiger." The words slipped out before Anders could stop himself. But damn, Fenris had made short work of that drink. And that look he had given him...

_What did he want to tell me? Did I mess up? Is he pissed at me?_

He shook his head, trying to expel the nagging worries. _Not now. We don't have time for that._

He stood up with a brief nod. "Yes, of course. As much as I mourn the loss of those open buttons, we really shouldn't be late." He took the arm Fenris offered him and let himself be led to the dining hall.

_Showtime_


	7. Please Pass the Salt?

Fenris' fingers kept twitching as they made their way through the halls, but he kept his back straight and his head high. They found Varania and his mother standing on the balcony next to the dining table. Fenris let go of Anders and stood on his own.

"Mother, you look lovely this evening. Varania... you are here too." He smirked as his sister stuck her tongue out at him.

"Oh you're just in time!" His mother said with that smile that never reached her eyes.

"For?"

"Hello, Fenris..."

_Danarius_

Before turning the older human stepped up and placed a firm, cold hand around the back of his neck and his whole body went rigid with tension. He kept his eyes straight ahead and felt the words pulled from him.

"Evening Danarius."

"My boy, how many times must I tell you to call me father before you do it?"

"Never," he grit out fiercely.

_NEVER touch my neck_

For a moment, Anders forgot how to breathe.

 _Don't jump to conclusions,_ a faint voice rang in his head. A voice, no, the echo of a voice, that used to calm him down, make him feel safe, and that it now hurt to remember. At least the pain was enough to snap him out of the rage he'd been about to dive into.

He didn't know what exactly was going on, but he recognised that tension in Fenris' body, sensed enough hate and despair in his voice to be certain that whatever it was, this man was bad news.

_And as Fenris' boyfriend, it is my fucking job to keep him away from him._

He quickly stepped up to Danarius - whom he could already tell he wouldn't have liked even without Fenris' reaction; tall, thin and oily, he exuded condescension like a cheap cologne - and stuck out his hand. The gesture was deliberately exaggerated, like throwing a gauntlet of manners that could not be ignored.

_Better let go of his neck and take it you wiry old fart._

"You must be the financial advisor Fenris told me about. Allow me to introduce myself: my name is Anders. It is a pleasure to finally meet you." _Preferably right between the eyes._

 

 

Fenris felt his whole being quiver on the inside.

Fear, rage, he didn't know, but he used years of experience to keep his calm on the outside.

But when Anders stepped up and called Danarius the 'financial advisor' and not stepfather, and stuck out his hand so that Danarius would have to let go - he could have hugged the man in gratitude. As usual, his mother had her eyes averted and Varania was her usual oblivious self.

"Anders," Danarius said, slowly removing his hand to take Anders'. "I'm sorry but, who are you exactly?"

"Fenris' boyfriend!" Varania chirped from the side. His mother gave her a scolding look to which she just shrugged. " Well, it's true!"

Fenris cleared his throat and moved to stand beside Anders, putting a slightly trembling hand around his waist.

 

 

Well, seemed you could count on Fenris' sister to take care of blurting out the awkward parts. So far so good.

He'd gotten the human slug to take his hands off Fenris, who was now safely at his side. Although it didn't escape Anders' notice that the hand around his waist was trembling slightly. He cleared his throat and put his own arm around Fenris' waist, making sure to keep his touch light.

_No pressure keeping you in place, just a reminder I'm here, I'm on your side._

And hopefully, a clear statement to the man frowning in puzzlement. "Yes, I'm Fenris' boyfriend. He thought it was time for me to finally meet the family. And seeing the beauty and the spark" -he bowed slightly in the direction of Varania and Fenris' mother, purposefully ignoring Danarius- "that is to be found in these halls, I am more than glad he did."

 

 

Varania grinned broadly at Anders. "And he's staying for the whole weekend!"

Danarius removed his hand and stroked his neck beard as he slowly eyed Anders up and down before turning to Fenris. "Is this true, Fenris? You're... a faggot?"

Varania gasped and covered her mouth, their mother biting her lip to keep from saying something. 

"Not that it is any of your business, Danarius," Fenris said. "But I am bisexual. And I would highly recommend you refrain from using such derogatory language. Although it suits you, it is unbecoming or the company you find yourself in."

At that Sebastian, who had sure as rain been watching from nearby, quickly stepped up and loudly announced that dinner was served. Danarius kept his eyes on Fenris as the sleazebag sat at the head of the table - the position reserved for the head of the household. Fenris ground his teeth so hard he feared they may crumble as he pulled a chair out for Anders.

 

 

_Faggot. Charming, really._

Anders balled his fist at his side but kept his face as expressionless as possible. He didn't know what Fenris had planned, and he was still trying to figure out the family dynamics - _I should have asked him more questions instead of babbling on about my life and sex toys_ \- which meant he couldn't just start a scene.

Even if he _really_ wanted to punch the guy.

He graciously lowered himself onto the chair Fenris had pulled out for him - after first clearing his throat and then placing a brief kiss on Fenris' cheek. "Always the gentleman. Thanks, love." As he sat down, he winked across the table at Varania.

 

 

Despite the tension in the room and his body, Fenris felt himself calm the moment Anders cleared his throat, knowing a comfort was on its way. He didn't expect a kiss, but he smiled genuinely at Anders before seeing him wink at Varania who giggled like a school girl.

He rolled his eyes at his naive sister and waited until his mother had taken her seat, held out by Sebastian, before sitting down himself.

"First course is a green house salad with Orlesian dressing. Served with an Antivan Chenin Blanc."

As the plates were put down by servants, Fenris reached over and gently put a hand on Anders' leg, whispering to him, "Use the utensils on the outside and work in." Once he got the blond's attention, he picked up the salad fork and knife on the end for him to see.

 

 

Fenris' hand on his leg sent an unexpected, overpowering surge of heat through Anders' body.

_Maker preserve me, I'm going to need another shower after this..._

He was so distracted he barely heard what Fenris was saying, but he found himself smiling once he realised Fenris was giving him instructions.

_That's sweet of him. And thoughtful too..._

His job had taken him to enough fancy dinners that he knew his way around the silverware, but a little refresher couldn't hurt. Especially considering how nervous he was.

This felt like more than merely being arm candy. It felt like war. He waited until everyone else had started before digging in himself... and he didn't even have to pretend when, after the first mouthful, he turned to Fenris' mother with a content little sigh.

"This is truly delicious."

 

 

Fenris watched as his mother smiled warmly at Anders. "I am glad you enjoy it, dear."

"This sucks... why can't I just have garlic bread instead of salad?" Varania complained, picking at her salad.

Fenris gave her a little kick below the table and she narrowed her eyes at him, to which he just took a big bite with a smug look.

"So..." Danarius began with an air of authority, a voice he hated, "Andre, tell us about yourself. Where did you go to school?"

 

 

Anders bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from grinning at Varania's outburst. After Fenris' description of her, he had expected something... different. He supposed the spoiled princess part might still be true, but at the end of the day, she was... just a kid, really.

And preferably by far to the man who made no effort to hide that he was about to go all inquisition on him.

"It's Anders, actually. The name tends to confuse people," he said with a smile. It didn't reach his eyes, but he doubted this asshole gave a shit about sincerity. "I was born and raised in Ferelden, but later relocated to Kirkwall, where I also went to school."

His smile brightened, remembering the identity they had come up with. "Lowtown's school for nursing and care, to be precise."

 

 

Varania choked on a crouton, their mother's fork paused halfway to her mouth and Danarius seemed nauseous. That was also just his face too.

"Nursing... you're a nurse? From... _Lowtown?_ What's the matter with you, grades not good enough to get into a proper school for medicine?"

Fenris smiled to himself as he remembered that Anders was, technically, a qualified doctor. "I'm proud of him," Fenris interjected. He wasn't about to have his... to have Anders ridiculed. "He has come a long way and worked hard on his own."

He looked to Anders and caught his eye. It might be the wine in him, but when the words came they were honest. "He is... so much more than I expected. And I am honoured, truly, to have him at my side this weekend."

 

 

Anders reached out for Fenris' hand - remembering just in time to clear his throat - and interlaced their fingers for everyone to see.

"No, darling. I'm the one who's honoured. Praise like this means so much more coming from a man like you." He held Fenris' gaze for a long moment, then turned his attention back to Danarius and said breezily, "No, I did get accepted into med school, actually. But even with a scholarship, tuition was still so high I would have had to sell..." he gave a hearty chuckle, "a kidney. Maybe even two. Luckily, I came up with a brilliant plan - why not just do twice the work for zero recognition and a quarter of the salary?"

He let his gaze wander across the table, smiling first at Varania, then at Fenris' mother. "But all joking aside, I have never regretted that choice. I work in elderly care, and I get to spend actual time with my patient, to actually make a difference in their lives.  That's a luxury most doctors don't have. It's hard work, but it's rewarding in ways I never could have expected."

 

 

Varania stuck our her tongue and made a face. "So you like what, have to touch smelly old people all day? YUCK!"

"You're going to be old one day too, you know," Fenris told her. "Probably fat and wrinkly too. Then you'll appreciate a friendly, handsome man like this offering to help you around and help you eat."

 "Now, now children..." their mother said in a tone that quieted them both. She turned to Anders. "I think that is marvellous, Anders. I... I considered nursing myself in my younger days. Before I met their father and-"

"Could we _not_ talk about him?" Danarius interjected sharply. "Maker, if I have to hear about him one more time. It’s like you worship the man. Why not just get a necromancer and bring him back!"

"Don't you dare talk about my father!" Fenris responded sternly.

" _I_ am your father now! I am the man of the house! The sooner you accept it the better!" Danarius rose to his feet. "This family would be _nothing_ without me!"

"Danarius please..." their mother's voice calmed things.

Sebastian appeared and cleared his throat. "The main course is filet mignon with garlic butter baby potatoes, coconut and pea puree, lemon grilled broccoli stems, and a side of watermelon and feta salad. Served with a dry Tevinter Merlot."

 

 

_He's like cancer, growing inside this family until he has swallowed every last bit of life and happiness._

After having spent several seconds physically restraining himself from stabbing Danarius with a fork - any of the four laid out next to his plate would do; he wasn't picky - Anders turned his attention to Fenris' mother. 

"Seeing how well you are taking care of us tonight, I have no doubt you would have made a wonderful nurse. Your patients would have been lucky to have you. But I must admit I'm glad you met Fenris' _father,_ " he took care to put extra emphasis on the word, "instead. For purely selfish reasons, I'm afraid. Had it not been for that meeting and the love you shared, I would not have gotten to meet, and share my life with, _this_ wonderful man."

He nodded to Fenris with a smile. "I only wish I could thank _both_ of the people responsible for his upbringing. It is obvious that he got his good looks from you, but surely he also has a lot of his father in him."

He could practically feel Danarius seething from the head of the table.

_Well, good. There is no point in trying to placate a plague. It will come at you anyway._

 

 

Fenris smiled at Anders, not giving a shit about the way Danarius was radiating disgust and rage.

He really was having his back. He was supporting him. Was this what a relationship is like? If so, he wanted it.

He took Anders' hand under the table and held it for a few seconds, drawing calmness and strength from it before letting go and starting his meal.

"You are too kind, Anders dear." She smiled. "Tell me about your parents, they must be quite something to raise such a polite young man? You’ve clearly been taking care of my boy. Thank you."

 

 

Anders returned her smile. There was no need to fake anything, not when he could still feel the warmth Fenris' hand had left behind. Maybe he shouldn't be feeling this elated at a simple touch, but Fenris had been the one to seek it out, and not just for show. Danarius couldn't see what happened under the table; this gesture, small as it was, belonged only to them.

"He deserves it, and so much more." He turned briefly to give Fenris a warm smile. "And I assure you, it pales in comparison to how well he has been treating me. Your son is a treasure," he said, taking care to direct the statement _only_ at Fenris' mother. "I will make sure to pass the compliment on to my parents. And as for your question, yes, they are good, honest people."

This wasn't the time and place for his personal tragedies; ‘except they banished me for who I am’ would only give Danarius ammunition for further attacks on Fenris. Thus, Anders decided to stick to the parts of the truth that were presentable. Safe mode for polite dinner conversation.

"My mother is a teacher, nearing retirement, and my father runs a small gardening and landscaping company. Life has not always been kind to them, but they did the best with what they had. Just like I am sure you," again he made sure to only address her,  "did with your children. One of which," he nodded to Varania with a smile that was just on the verge of a grin, " seems to be about to pass out from boredom."

 

 

"Varania! Heavens, child, sit up straight! We have guests," their mother scolded in embarrassment.

"Oh mom. It's just Fenny's _boyfriend_." She sulked as she sat up. It seemed his mother and sister were both quite taken with Anders. Something about it warmed Fenris and made him feel proud.

"The dinner is delicious, mother," he complimented.

"Hmm... Salmon would have been better," Danarius muttered.

"Dear, you know Fenris doesn't like fish. We can have it again on Monday."

"Fenris doesn't like a lot of things. The world can't stop to his whims. He chose to leave after school, he chose this- this... _nurse_... I have been the one who saved you when you were abandoned! And what thanks do I get? Not even my favourite dish. I think it's time for a change around here..."

Fenris was on edge. " _Like what?_ "

Danarius grinned. "I will be petitioning your family tomorrow to become CEO, seeing as you clearly don't want it and your poor mother can't do it. They are the majority shareholders, with their vote.... it'll be done."

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" Fenris and Varnaia yelled together

"...he can," his mother said quietly.

"You knew about this?" Varania asked her, her voice pained by betrayal. Her mother nodded.

 

 

Anders didn't need to look at Fenris to know that he was in shock; the tension in his body was palpable even without direct touch. He certainly couldn't fault him for it - he'd been completely taken by surprise as well.

_Why couldn't I have been a disgraced lawyer instead of a disgraced doctor... I have no idea if this is even fucking legal._

Business was its own world, and Anders didn't know enough ("not enough" meaning: nothing) about it to be of help. Guys like Danarius only responded to assertiveness, and this wasn't something he could bluff his way through.

But neither Fenris nor Varania was speaking (which he assumed really meant something in Varania's case), and Fenris' mother... Well, she was being the same ghost, the automated remains of someone who had given up long ago, as she had been all night. And all the while Danarius was grinning like smugness personified. Oh, fuck it, he might not be able to help but he sure as hell wouldn't let him get the last word.

"Forgive my ignorance," he said, a saccharine smile firmly plastered onto his face as he turned to Danarius, keeping his voice casual as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened, "but how exactly does a financial advisor become CEO of a business he has no claim to, considering that your only legal tie to it is through marriage to the mother of the rightful heirs? A very capable woman you just casually dismissed, I might add." He bowed his head slightly in the direction of Fenris' mother. "Not to mention the dismissal - bordering on contempt - you have just shown my boyfriend and Varania. Young though she might be, she is of age and her late father would surely not want her wishes to go ignored?"

He raised an eyebrow at Danarius, still keeping his innocent smile firmly in place, before turning back to Fenris' mother. "Please excuse my intruding, your family business is none of my concern. But Fenris' happiness _is_ and I must admit, this revelation is a bit confusing."

 

 

Danarius chuckled. "Of course you're ignorant. But I have been running this place ever since your little knife-eared boy toy ran out. I have been calling all the shots. The shareholders, of which his mother has 50, Fenris and Varania both have 5, and a scatter of family members each have one - can vote on any decision. I shall argue that ... clearly, Fenris is not capable of leading the business, and Varania is too young _and_ a woman. They need me."

The slimy man eyed Anders up and down. "I don't know what 'stunt' Fenris was trying to pull by bringing you home. He probably pays you so you can fuck him. He likes that... don't you boy? He has no sense of loyalty and is a disgrace to his family. And tomorrow everyone will know it!"

Fenris snapped at that and leapt over Anders towards Danarius, murder in his eyes. He distantly heard his mother and sister scream.

 

 

There was no time clear his throat, no time to step in before Fenris had Danarius by the collar. In all honesty, Anders didn't even _want_ to step in.

_A racist, a sexist, an abusive piece of shit who insults his own wife... and what he said to Fenris... I should just let him kill him._

Except it would be not only the end of Danarius' life, but also of Fenris'. And so Anders did something he knew Fenris would hate him for. Touching him without warning, he pulled him forcefully against his chest, holding him tightly to keep him in place.

_I am so sorry Fenris. It's the only way._

He placed a hand on Fenris arm, trying to keep his touch light against his struggling.

"Fenris, Fenris love, he isn't worth it," he said in a calm, quiet voice. "No one who talks about you like that is _ever_ worth it." In a whisper directly into his ear, he added. "60 %, Fenris. All you need is your _mother_."

He raised his head and said to Danarius, in a much louder, icier tone. "You are talking about the man I love. And I can assure you, he does not "pay me to fuck him", nor is he my "boy toy". Those concepts may appeal to the likes of you, but Fenris is a good man. A better man than you could ever hope to be. And I also assure you that if you speak to him like that again, you'd better be praying someone will hold _me_ back."

 

 

"Danarius... that was too far," his mother said quietly, her head and shoulders still hunched.

"You can't do this! Mother!" Varania yelled, "Mother, tell me you won't let him?"

Danarius gave her an icy glare, and their mother let her eyes fall back on the table. "Kids, listen to your father... he saved us. He knows what is best. I... I need to support my husband."

"No!" Fenris cried out; the hold Anders had on him should have made him flip, made him yell and fight, but the warmth of Anders' chest against his back calmed him enough to not hurt the man. "No! He is deceitful and abusive and I will not allow it!"

"And you're a lying little spineless shit!" Danarius yelled back as he stood. "You think I don't have people watching you? You think I don't know that Anders is a _whore_? Who is the one that's lying now!?"

Fenris felt his whole body turn to ice.

_I should have known he was watching me. I should have been more careful. I should have told my mother and sister the truth instead of running to Kirkwall when I graduated..._

"It's true," Fenris said calmly as he stepped away from Anders.

He faced his mother and sister who were now both standing, staring at him in shock. "Anders is an escort. But it wasn't all lies. He did go to medical school and graduate. And.... and we are together."

_At least for the weekend._

"When I met him, I knew he was different. I... I have feelings for him." He was careful not to imply any commitment or affection from Anders' end. But he was honest, as much as he could. "But that doesn't change the fact that I will not allow this deceitful monster to take over and ruin our family legacy!"

"Lies!" Danarius snapped, turning to their mother. "Woman, you can't believe this boy! He is nothing but a lying, spineless brat who is paying this man to pretend to like him because no one else will! You cannot entrust the business to someone like _this_!"

 

 

 

_Welp, there goes the chance of becoming the family favourite,_

Anders thought miserably as he saw the horrified expressions on the two women's faces. He couldn't deny they hurt. Just like that, he'd been reduced from ‘nice young man, even if he's a peasant’ to a _thing_  to stare at, an abomination to shy away from. He doubted there would be a way to salvage this, and what use was it trying to explain himself?

He had no illusions as to what the world thought of people like him, but he would be damned if he allowed this man to humiliate Fenris, to make him think, even for a second, that he wasn't worthy of love. That he _needed_ to pay people.

He cleared his throat, loudly. "I believe when it comes to my feelings for Fenris, _my_ word is the one that matters."

He reached out both hands to cup Fenris' face, holding it steady and forcing him to meet his eyes as he leaned in. "Believe about me what you will, but my affection for him is no lie."

And with that, he closed the distance between them and kissed him.

 


	8. Cakes, Conversation, and Confrontation

Varania squealed, his mother gasped, Danarius was disgusted, but Fenris...

Fenris stared wide-eyed as Anders' eyes closed and their lips met.

_Did...did he mean that? Was this real, or acting?_

But then it hit him that Anders was kissing him and all other thought fled his mind as he closed his own eyes and pressed into the kiss.

_Maker let this be real..._

 

 

Anders fought to push down the panic that rose within him as his lips closed over Fenris'.

 _Am I taking it too far? If he freaks out, I'll have ruined EVERYTHING, oh Maker, Maker please make him understand I'm not doing this to hurt him_.

And for a moment, Fenris did stare at him like a deer in headlights... But then his eyes slipped shut; his lips began to move. They pressed forward with no need for further encouragement, playing with his, welcoming, _inviting_ him, and the world around them faded into a hushed blur of no consequence.

The tension in Fenris' body subsided as it moulded itself around Anders'. His mouth opened further, yielding to his touch, begging for more, and although a tiny voice at the back of Anders' mind tried to remind him that this wasn't exactly the right place for it, he couldn't help but follow Fenris' lead. As he allowed his tongue to slip inside - just a little, just for a moment - he found himself thinking…

_Maker, if you let me... I think I could love you._

 

 

The moment Anders parted his lips to him, the second their lips melted together and his tongue met the warm, velvet taste of the other it was very suddenly all too much and not enough. He ended the kiss abruptly and pulled back to stare wide-eyed at Anders.

_The flush in his cheeks, the soft affection in his eyes... that can't be acting, can it?_

It was. Of course it was. Anders was doing his part, playing his role expertly and here Fenris - the idiot that he was- was opening himself up to it.

He felt vulnerable and exposed, like the floorboards were crumbling below him and there was no way to stop it.

"I... I have to..." without another word he turned and fled. Everyone stared after him as he slammed the door.

"See?" Danarius said after a moment. "He is as fickle and unstable as ever! I'm leaving... I'll be at the office. Don't wait up." With that Danarius left, leaving a shocked Varania, their mother, and Anders.

"Anders, dear..." their mother said quietly after a moment. "Would you like to join me in my study for tea, please? I wish to talk with you."

 

 

_I scared him... I took it too far..._

 Anders looked after Fenris, chewing on his lip and trying very hard to ignore the ache in his chest. He'd expected that kind of reaction - actually, he'd expected worse so he supposed he should be grateful - but it still hurt to see Fenris run away from him.

 _‘... I wish to talk with you.’_ The words hit him like an icy shower. He'd barely paid attention to what was going on in the room around them, but _that_ made it through. He looked up, startled.

"I...yes, of course." As much as he wanted to chase after Fenris, it wouldn't do any good to try to talk to him now. And he couldn't very well decline his mother's request after... well, after _everything_.

As he followed her to her study, he felt like he was walking to his own execution.

 

 

"Sebastian, could you bring us some tea and cakes?"

As the butler quickly scurried to comply she lead them to the corner of her study where soft leather couches were situated around a roaring fire. She sat down with all the grace of a woman who grew up in a life of elegance. Tea and cakes were presented, after which she excused Sebastian and asked him to close the door.

"Now..." she began as she picked up her cup. "The truth, if you will, dear. This is a safe space. I will not judge or insult, I can assure you. Who are you and what is your relation to my boy?"

 

 

Anders shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

_Is it hot in here?_

Without Danarius around, what was left of Fenris' mother's spirits seemed to have strengthened. Hardened, one could say. She did not give off the same aura of haughty cruelty as her husband, but there was a firmness, a resolve behind those eyes that made Anders wish he were somewhere else. Anywhere else.

A part of him was relieved to see her so determined to protect her child, but then again... _Why didn't you do it earlier? Why didn't you keep him safe, how could you let that monster near him?_

He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and bit until he tasted blood. It wasn't the time or the place for accusations. And even if it were, he didn't know enough about this family to be the one flinging them around. Why should she listen to him, a whore her son brought into her house without warning?

It was, however, not the place for the whole truth either. He felt sorry for her, perhaps even liked her, in a way, but he had no idea if he could trust her. He took a sip of his tea, just to give his hands something to do, and quietly spoke.

"What Fenris said is true. I am an escort, but I am not here as an escort. He's not paying me." Anders spared an internal second of mourning for his bank account as he realized that if he truly wanted to help Fenris, he would have to make this statement true.

_To think I've managed to avoid that cliché all those years..._

He looked up at her.

"We are together," _-_ geographically speaking, true - "and my feelings for him are genuine." Also true, even if he wasn't entirely sure just what those feelings were _._ He barely knew him; he shouldn't be feeling anything. And yet... "As I can only hope are his for me." Painfully true. "And as he said, I studied medicine and graduated, and worked at a hospital for a few years. I spent quite some time in geriatrics, so the part about elderly care wasn't a complete lie. But I'm afraid the part about my education was. I went to Kirkwall University, not nursing school."

He paused for a moment, not wanting to say any more than he absolutely had to, but decided to venture one more detail. “Fenris and I did meet when he walked into my agency about a year ago. He never paid me for sex, though. I'm not saying this to spare your feelings, or because I think it would be shameful if he had – in my line of work shame is reserved for other things – but because I want you to know what kind of person your son is. He would never do that, he is too… caring, too concerned for other people's well-being to even consider it. He just wanted someone to accompany him to a university event.”

Anders smiled to himself. “To this day, I don’t know what possessed him to go to an escort service for that. He’s really not the type, he’s… more conservative than you probably think. But I’m glad he did. We became friends, and eventually…more than that.”

 

 

She listened carefully as she sipped her tea. The young man was obviously nervous, as one would be when faced with the mother of your significant other. But something about him seemed... genuine.

"I'm glad you're here," she said finally. "Fenris needs... someone. After his father passed he closed himself off a lot. I was... well, it felt like I was drowning, suddenly having to manage the kids and the Leto empire by myself."

She idly picked at her cup, not looking at Anders. "I know Danarius is not a good man... But I had no choice. It was marry him, or pass it on to their father's brother, Solas, who is determined to dissolve the company and invest in some strange green solar energy. We would lose our standing, the Leto estate, our legacy…"t

She sighed and looked up at Anders. "I didn't come from wealth. I spent time in foster homes and had parents who abandoned me. In my fear of losing the wealth and stability I feel the kids needed, I did what I thought was best. You will have no judgement from me, child. If you truly are important to my darling boy, then you are important to me."

 

 

Anders breathed a sigh of relief - although he took care to do it internally and not let it show on his face - and gave her a shaky smile. "Thank you. I know I'm not exactly a mother's dream but your son... he means more to me than I have words to express, more than I think he even knows himself."

He hesitated, not wanting to overstep his boundaries, but decided to try to give her at least a _nudge_ in the right direction. "He was a little...hesitant to bring me here at first but in the end, he insisted I come and meet you. And I gladly did, both to finally introduce myself, and to support him. I just didn't know just... how much support he needed. What he was... up against."

He put down his cup and looked right at her. "I know what it is like to come from nothing - and to be left with nothing. What it's like to lose someone. And I know it's not my place to insert myself into your affairs. This is a matter between you, Fenris and Varania. So, let me just say _one_ thing before I promise I will shut up and not mention it again: no matter how it was back then, and no matter what he is trying to tell you, your... husband is not the one who holds the power. _You_ are. Both in terms of company shares and in terms of your family's loyalty."

He gave her a crooked smile, picked up his cup and took a sip. "That was my piece. I apologise if I overstepped, but I care about Fenris and he is... not happy. If you wish to ask me anything else, I'm at your disposal."

 

 

She gave Anders a scrutinizing look.

"You are bold. Whether it's foolish or bravery, I am not sure. But it is appreciated. I shall consider your words." She took one of the lemon cream cakes and took a bite, pausing for a moment before cautiously asking: "Has... Fenris mentioned anything to you about his... _relationship_ with Danarius?"

 

 

Following her lead, Anders took a cake himself. Less so because they looked delicious -they did but he was in no shape to care - than to play for time. He had to tread, very, very lightly here, or he would lose what little trust Fenris might have in him.

"No," he finally said just as cautiously. "In fact, it is the one thing he categorically refuses to speak about." He sought her gaze. "Which is precisely what worries me. Fenris is a private person, I am sure there are still many things I don't know about him, but he has opened up more and more since we've been together. About every topic except this. He tenses up at the very mention of his name."

_Which I am sure you have noticed, or you would not have asked me this._

He didn't say it, just kept his eyes on hers.

 

 

She sighed and shook her head. "You must understand, child, in this family we don't talk... like you and I are doing. I fear there is something he is not telling me, but I don't know how to talk to him or help him."

She looked seriously at Anders. "Would you please talk to him about it? If there is something I need to know, some concrete reason for me to let Danarius go I wou- ..." She cleared her throat and put down her mug. "I fear I have said too much. Just, talk to him? _Please?_ I'm... worried. And if there is something that has to be brought to my attention before Danarius calls for the vote tomorrow night, please do so."

She pressed a button on the wall next to the fireplace, and moments later Sebastian appeared. "You rang, madam?"

"Yes, Sebastian. Please escort Anders back to Fenris' chambers."

"B- but Madam? You will have him stay? Even after what Master Danarius has revealed about his... vocation?" Sebastian asked in disgust and shock.

She stood and levelled him a glare. "He is my son's partner, and he is welcome in this home. I shall hear none of this, and you shall tell no one else. Understand? Now go."

 

 

_Yes, take that, you human-shaped bowel obstruction._

Since Fenris' mother had her back to him, Anders allowed himself a small grin at the man. Before he followed him out, he took one of the small cakes off the plate.

"Fenris might be hungry," he explained. "And... I promise I will. I cannot promise success, but if I fail it won't be for lack of trying."

He nodded his head at her and followed the butler out of the room.

The way back to Fenris' quarters was spent in icy silence, which Anders didn't mind. The guy could choke on his bigotry for all he cared. All that mattered was that he managed to get through to Fenris.

As he tried to come up with a plan how to best approach this, he felt more nervous with each step. They were almost there.

 

 

Fenris finished the last of the bottle of wine then flung it at the painting on the wall, shattering it. He cursed himself over and over.

_How could I not have known Danarius would have his dogs watching me... How could I have put Anders in this position! How could I abandon him with them and run off! I know... because you're feeling things and it scares you... things you shouldn't be feeling._

He angrily wiped at his mouth and landed two quick punches and a kick to the boxing bag he had pulled out of the closet and hung back up in the lounge area.

He let his shame and rage and frustration burn as he unloaded onto the bag, his bare back glistening with sweat.


	9. On Punching, Payment, and Sleeping Arrangement

 

When Anders entered Fenris' rooms, Fenris was nowhere to be seen. _Hearing_ him was another matter, though.

Anders couldn't quite place the noises - was he... wrestling a Bronto? impersonating a train? choreographing routines? - but he followed them into the lounge... and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the state of the room.

And Fenris.

He'd taken off his shirt and was currently busy pummeling a punching bag as though his life depended on it.

_Maker, what is wrong with me, I shouldn't find that sexy... half-naked or not, he is clearly distressed, I shouldn't be thinking about licking those shoulders..._

Sweaty, dishevelled and, going by the shards of glass on the floor, more than a little drunk, Fenris was so engrossed he hadn't even noticed him yet. Anders tore his gaze away - with some effort - and quietly made for the bedroom. There was something he had to get from his bag first, something that had to be settled before he could even think of trying to talk.

As he returned to the lounge, Fenris was still laying into the punching bag. Anders cleared his throat, addressing his back. "I... I'm back. And... I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I took it too far, I... I'm really sorry. "

 

 

Fenris startled at the voice and spun around, fists up - bare fists that were now bloody from not being bandaged before laying into the punching bag - but he quickly dropped them when he saw Anders standing there.

"No... no you have nothing to be sorry for..." he said and shook his head, still catching his breath as he started pacing around the room. "You... you were just doing your job. Excellently. And I lost my composure. As I always do. I'm... I'm sorry Anders."

He finally looked up at Anders and locked eyes. "If you wish... I'll call you a cab and book you a flight home tonight. I will not keep you here to be abused by my family. Or me." The last two words were said softly, to himself almost.

 

 

There were about a million different things Anders wanted to say to that; he didn't even know where to start. But they all turned into background static when he saw the state of Fenris' hands. "Maker, what happened? Where's your first aid kit, we need to clean and bandage those wounds!"

He stopped at the puzzled look on Fenris' face and continued, in a lower, calmer tone, "Listen, you have _nothing_ to apologise for. Absolutely nothing. And I don't want to leave... that is, unless _you_ want me to. I won't stay if it makes you uncomfortable. But if it's up to me, I'll be right at your side for as long as you'll have me. There... there's a lot we need to talk about, just please, please, let me take care of your hands first."

He tried a faint smile. "I know what I'm doing, I used to be a doctor."

 

 

Fenris was taken aback. He expected Anders to be angry, humiliated even... not to be concerned for his hands. He looked down at them and saw damaged skin and bloody knuckles.

"Under the left sink in the bathroom. Second drawer." Was all he said.

 _He... he wants to stay?_ Fenris was confused, conflicting emotions of hope and hurt warring inside him like a storm.

 

 

Anders hurried into the bathroom, fetched the first aid kit and returned to Fenris, who hadn't moved from his original spot. He held out his hand for Fenris' to take, careful to avoid the damaged skin, and guided him to one of the sofas in the living room. As he meticulously cleaned and bandaged Fenris' wounds, he wondered how best to begin. There was just so much to unravel; it was all such a giant mess...

Finally, he decided on a quiet, "Alright, first things first, and you can be honest with me, no matter the answer - do you want me to stay?"

 

 

"Yes," Fenris said a little too quickly, eager eyes snapping up. "I- ... having you here, even though my actions tonight might say the contrary, it has... helped." He cautiously curled his fingers around the hand that was holding his while the other bandaged. "I told you I would abandon you in this house. And I did. I ran away like a coward..."

 

 

Anders firmly shook his head. "Considering what happened, it's a sign of incredible bravery that you didn't run _sooner_. What that man said to you, discovering that he's been _surveilling_ you... and you still managed to stand your ground."

He smiled up at Fenris. "You even kept enough of your wits about you to defend me. And I... I swear I just tried to help, to show them, to show _you_ that he's lying. You don't have to pay people to pretend to like you, you don't have to pay _me_ to like you... but I... got carried away. I don't fault you for running. I know how you feel about touch, I should never have taken it that far. I meant to run after you, but your mother... she asked to speak to me..."

 

 

"You think I am... upset that you kissed me?" He hung his head and shook it. "Nothing could be further from the truth. I am not upset with you, Anders. Not in the least. It is... my own issues that frustrate and infuriate me. You have been nothing but a source of support. Thank you."

But that brought him to his other point. "You spoke with my mother? About what?"

 

 

_He was not upset by the kiss._

Anders closed his eyes for a moment, letting the words sink in. He knew they didn't mean he could hope for...well, _more_ , but they did mean he hadn't abused Fenris' trust. He hadn't hurt him.

He opened them again and squeezed Fenris' hand with a reassuring smile, remembering his last question. "She just wanted to... well, I guess 'interrogate' me is the right term but she was nice about it. She asked who I was, and what my relationship with you was. I told her the same as you did. The truth about me - former doctor, current escort -, that we met about a year ago when you were looking for someone to accompany you to a university event but that you had never paid me for sex, that we became friends, then more than friends, and that I'm here as your boyfriend, not because you're paying me. She... did not judge. In fact, she said that if I was important to her boy, I was important to her."

He fell quiet as he put the finishing touches to the bandages. "This is all done. It'll need some time to heal, but the damage is superficial, it won't scar, and I made sure it's all nice and clean. You won't have to keep them on for long."

He put the first aid kit away and awkwardly rose to sit next to Fenris. "Your mother also asked about you. And if you had ever talked... about Danarius. She... worries about you. I think his hold on her is less strong than you might think. And," he searched Fenris' gaze, anxious as to what he might find in it, "I think she sees more than she lets on."

 

 

Fenris quickly averted his gaze and pulled stiffly away from Anders.

_No. No one is supposed to see. No one is supposed to know!_

"I am... glad you had a good talk with her. She has a good heart." He looked down at his bandaged hands. "And thank you for this. You're really good at it, you know."

Part of him wanted to kiss Anders, to tell him everything, to rip open the years of hurt to the one person who had managed to get under his skin for the first time in… longer than he could remember.

The other part of him was scared. Scared of hurt and judgement and abandonment. It was fear and a deep painful longing to not be abandoned that made him bend to Danarius' will all those years ago. He swore he would never be that weak again.

Looking for anything to escape this storm in his soul he searched for something to say. "We should probably get some sleep... tomorrow is going to be a big day it seems."

 

 

Anders nodded, a pale imitation of a smile on his lips. If he was honest, he hadn't expected any other reaction. You couldn't just hack through years of hurt and silence with a battleaxe and expect people to hand over their deepest, most painful secrets. Even if you just wanted to help them, even if it was what was necessary - it just didn't work that way.

_I wish I could just let it go, allow you to face it on your own terms, but you are running out of time. All of you._

But for tonight, he would let it go. Fenris had been through enough. He deserved some rest, as much as he could scrape together after this horror show.

"Yes, we should. Just... one more thing, then I'll let you get some much-deserved sleep. And," he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, nervously attacking it with his teeth as he searched for the right words, "please... just listen before you jump to any conclusions. I have a feeling you might arrive at the wrong ones otherwise."

He gave Fenris a (he hoped) reassuring smile. "I promise, it’s nothing bad."

 

 

Fenris turned to face Anders at the serious tone of his voice. But Maker, the way Anders was biting his lip which already seemed gnawed on nervously too much for one night. Without thinking Fenris slowly reached up and gently pulled the man's abused bottom lip from between his teeth with the soft pad of his thumb.

Realising what he was doing, he quickly dropped his hand to his lap and his eyes moved up to warm honey brown ones. "Very well. I'll listen."

 

 

Fenris' touch had Anders so startled it took him a couple of moments before he could speak again. For someone who didn't like touch, Fenris was remarkably good at... tenderness. He could create intimacy with the tiniest of gestures and leave you both grateful and aching for more.

When he had regained his ability to form words, Anders reached into his back pocket for his wallet and, mentally thanking his laziness that he hadn't bothered to take them to his bank yet, took out 20 sovereigns. He placed them carefully on Fenris' leg, avoiding any direct contact, then sat back and looked at him.

"I will stay, but I cannot take your money."

It sounded every bit as cliché as he'd feared. Still, he had to say it. In all his years of escorting, he had never actually felt like a whore. Sure, some clients had tried to make him feel that way, but none had ever succeeded, not for long. But this... he felt honest affection. He _wanted_ to be here. Accepting money for that... it felt like fraud, like selling his soul.

And if there was even just a smidgen of truth to his suspicions, it _would_ mean selling his soul. After everything he'd heard and seen today... there was no way he would let Fenris pay him. 

"I meant it when I said I _wanted_ to stay. Nothing will change. I'll still support you, still stand by your side. But..." he took a deep breath. "When I kissed it you, it was not to take advantage. I honestly thought it was what I needed to do to help. But that doesn't change the fact that I enjoyed it. That I _wanted_ it. That's why I let myself get carried away, and I truly am sorry for that. I like you, and not because you pay me for it. I cannot take money from someone I like, for doing something I enjoy. It feels like I am stealing from you, and I can't do that..."

He swallowed around the lump in his throat and said, firmly, "It doesn't change anything. You've made your boundaries and wishes clear, and I will continue to respect them. And if you never want to see me again after this weekend, I will respect that too. And now, unless you have anything else you want to talk about, we can go to bed."

 

 

Fenris stared at the money in his open hand on the clean, neat bandages. His instinct was strong. The fear.

_He wants an out. If you don't pay him he can slip away anytime. He doesn't want to be tied to this or you! You are a fool! Not even a whore wants to take money to be with you!_

But he forced that bitterness down to listen to his gut, to listen to Anders. "You...like me... I don't understand." He lifted conflicted eyes up to Anders. "You've seen the worst of me in one day. Seen my anger, my insecurities, my family, my wealth, my drunkenness... What do you want from me?"

_...if not money. There has never been anyone who wanted him for anything but his name and fortune._

 

 

Anders kept his eyes locked on Fenris' as he spoke, slowly, clearly, determined, desperate to make him understand. "If that was the worst of you, you are an even better person than I already knew. Believe me, you could show me ten times worse and it would still not make me like you any less. You're a great guy, Fenris."

Nervousness had him biting his lip again. "A much better man than I am. And as for what I want... I want to be with you. Not as someone you pay but as a friend." _No, might as well be honest._ "I won't lie, I like you in ways that would also make me want to stay as more than a friend. I'm... attracted to you.”

He quickly added, “I'm not saying this to pressure you into anything, I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. But given that we're gonna be sharing these rooms, I have no right to keep it from you. I won't try to come on to you, I promise. I know you don't want me that way, and I'd never disrespect that. Just... think of this as a trip with a friend, who'll still pretend to be your boyfriend in front of your family, instead of a business arrangement. That's all I ask."

 

 

Anders was being honest, brutally so, laying his feelings bare for Fenris. In that moment Fenris decided that Anders was the bravest man he knew. ‘Friend...’ he could do friend. He never had real friends before Hawke and the gang, but he had no desire to bring any of them home with him. They would have probably had his mother drunk, his sister employed, and Danarius hung up by his toenails in the garden by now.

"I... I think I can do that. For now."

He wanted more. He knew it. But Anders was still a prostitute, and he was still... broken. Could he be with someone who slept with others for money then met him for dinner? No. No, he knew he was all or nothing. If he had Anders he would want every single bit of him just to himself.

So, he swallowed and nodded. "Okay. Let's... Let's get to bed then." Fenris stood and remembered this was never actually something they discussed. "Is it okay with you? To share the bed? If you prefer I can sleep here on the couch, I won't mind. I've done it many times before."

 

 

Anders sighed in relief, for once not bothering to hide it. Fenris had accepted the money... and his friendship. Anders still couldn't fully believe it himself that he had actually done that, that he'd  given a client his money back. It wasn't like he had made a giant sacrifice; the job paid well, well enough so that he had finished his degree without debts - take that, asshole classmates who'd looked down on him for his _filthy_ job. Still, he'd taken a week off at Fenris' insistence, and now he'd have to pay Jethann's share out of his own pocket. _He_  hadn't rejected Fenris as a client, after all, and Anders was determined to never let him find out he had either. He could picture how that would go all too well: Jethann would be laughing at him for at least the next few _months_ , teasing him about "having watched too many romcoms" on a daily basis.

All in all, the whole thing wouldn't get him into trouble... but it _would_ leave a considerable dent in his savings.

_It was the right thing to do, though. If perhaps not the smartest thing._

And speaking of right and smart things: "I don't mind. I perfectly understand if _you_ mind, though, after what I just told you. But you need to be fit for tomorrow, so if you do, I'll be sleeping on the couch. Trust me, it's far more comfortable than my bed, it wouldn't be a problem."

_I just hope that Sebastian guy won't just barge in and find me there..._

 

 

"No, absolutely no way," Fenris shook his head. "If you are comfortable with sharing, then there is absolutely no way you're sleeping on the couch. Besides, the bed is enormous."

He smirked. " And Tevinter nights get quite cold. Wouldn't want to wake up and have you cuddled up to Sebastian."

The little tease, tiny joke, the small idea of Anders sleeping in a bed with another irked him enough to actually moved behind Anders and march him into the bedroom with a push from behind. "Besides, I've always wanted a slumber party. Never could quite figure out why my sister loved them so..."

 

 

When Fenris surprise-attacked him from behind and physically marched him into the bedroom Anders couldn't help himself - he started to giggle, and no matter how hard he tried, he didn't seem to be able to stop. All the tension of the last hours was finally beginning to ebb away, and he found himself half-laughing, half-saying,

"First manhandling, now slumber parties... I must say, tonight sounds more and more promising. But if you think I need something to cuddle with, just get me a giant cactus. It'll be less unpleasant than," he let all his disdain for the man seep into the word, ‘ _Sebastian’_.

It would be alright. He'd just make sure to stay on his side of the bed.

 

 

Fenris marched the tall giggling human right into his bedroom and gave him a final push causing him to topple over onto the bed. Fenris stood at the end of the bed and admired the man, gorgeous and flushed from laughter, on his bed. He decided it was a very good sight indeed.

He smirked and hummed. "Good to know you'd rather cuddle up to a cactus." He turned and walked to his wardrobe to pull out a soft white t-shirt and sleeping pants. "You know... I've been described as 'prickly' myself."

He threw Anders _a look_ over his shoulder and disappeared into the bathroom to change and brush his teeth.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahoy lovelies! Thank you for sticking with us so far! We can't tell you how happy it makes us to get every hit, kudo, and comment! We're also on Tumblr if you want to come yell at us: [ thejourneymaninn ](http://thejourneymaninn.tumblr.com/) and [ DovaBunny ](https://dovabunny.tumblr.com/) .
> 
> Lots more drama, fluff, and bedsharing (we know you filthies are here for that good shit) to come!


	10. The Cactus, the Lumberjack, and the Sobbing Sister

 

Anders felt warmth rising in his chest at the _look_ Fenris gave him. Alright, not _only_ in his chest.

It was nice of Fenris to indulge him like that, to give him some harmless flirting even though he wasn't interested in Anders that way.

_He's such a genuinely sweet guy..._

Well, he'd better hurry before this sweet guy returned and realized Anders had been too lazy to move even one inch from where he'd dropped him.

He fumbled in his bag until he found the flannel pyjamas he had fortunately thought to pack - _well, at least he won't think I'm trying to seduce him in THESE_ \- and quickly changed into them. When he was done, he grabbed his toothbrush and sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for Fenris to be done in the bathroom

 

 

Fenris stepped back into the room, toothbrush in his cheek, idly scratching his crotch, and saw Anders sitting at the end of the bed with his toothbrush. He raised an eyebrow.

"You know," he mumbled through the toothbrush in his cheek, "there's a his and hers, or well, a _his and his_ in here for a reason. You have your own sink if you want to come brush your teeth."

He chuckled and shook his head as he went back to spit and rinse. "You'll have sex with strangers but heaven forbid a man sees you with a toothbrush in your mouth?"

Now with all the worries behind closed doors, alone with Anders in his room, Fenris felt relaxed and even a little playful.

 

 

Anders was a slightly taken aback by the change in Fenris' demeanour. Not in a bad way, though. It was unexpected, but to see him like this, relaxed and smiling, joking, even _teasing_ him... He certainly wasn't complaining.

He would, however, also not just sit there and take it. "Well, it's uncharted territory. A toothbrush is not usually what they want to see in... my mouth..." He let the word trail off, smiling sweetly as he got up. "I was just giving you time to change into that sexy negligee" - he said it like a joke, but damn, simple as it was, Fenris' outfit _was_ sexy - "as is the mark of a true gentleman. But well, since you're done," he shrugged and dragged his pyjama-clad ass over to the sink, "I shall join you and show you just how versatile I am with a toothbrush."

It felt oddly... intimate to be doing this at the same time as Fenris. But then again, he wasn't used to it. It had been a long time.

 

 

Fenris chuckled but as Anders stood and walked into the bathroom he nearly choked on the water he was drinking.

"What are thooose??" He said with wide eyes. "I didn’t even know they made flannel pyjamas! I thought it was just something overweight, overly-hairy lumberjacks wore in bad movies!" He looked up at Anders. "I would never have guessed you to own such an atrocity. My, my Anders... And here I thought you were a man with taste."

Before Anders could respond he brushed past him and eyed his toothbrush. "I have a spare in my drawer if you want. Mine is a bit... _longer_ though... than what you're probably used to," he gave him lingering look and a dirty smirk.

 

 

Anders returned Fenris' look, with a smirk to match. "Oh, you can give me any... length you have, I do like a challenge. And as for my pyjamas..." he shrugged, "you know what they say, great taste in lovers, bad taste in clothes."

He took the toothbrush Fenris offered him and helped himself to some toothpaste. "I'm surprised you only notice them now, they were in my bag after all. But I guess you were... _distracted_..."

He started to brush his teeth, adding between spitting and rinsing, "I'm sorry the sight offends your delicate tastes, feel free to pick something else. But I'm afraid they're the only modest thing I brought."

 

 

Fenris leaned back against the cupboard with his arms folded, the image of casual confidence. "My dear Anders, if I were to truly pick something for you to wear that was to my honed stylish tastes, I'm afraid you'd have to walk around in your frilly knickers. And we wouldn't want that, now would we?"

He narrowed his eyes. "And if your opinion on taste in clothes and paramours is true, are you saying I'm badly dressed or that I have horrible taste in men and women?" He raised an eyebrow in challenge.

 

 

Teasing, flirty Fenris, casual, confident Fenris... There was just too much sexy-as-hell Fenris in this room and Anders briefly wondered just how rude and inappropriate it would be to ask, ‘Hey, mind if I take a quick shower and jerk off to R-rated thoughts of you?’

_Inappropriate enough to send him running for the hills. Keep it in your pants, you're too old to act like a 13-year-old who's just discovered internet porn. Just be cool. For once in your life, be cool. Play it casual, and then go the fuck to bed and think of your taxes._

He put away his toothbrush and proceeded to wash his hands. As he dried them, he said, looking over his shoulder with a pointedly casual shrug, "Well, frilly knickers and nothing else  _is_ how I usually sleep. But I suppose I'd better not risk getting so cold I need to run to Sebastian for warmth after all. And don't worry, darling, your style is impeccable. If a little lacking in cat shirts. Maybe you're the one glorious exception to the rule. Or maybe not, I couldn't possibly say." He walked past him into the bedroom with a wink."I don't know your tastes."

 

 

At the mention of Sebastian, Fenris frowned and intercepted Anders, taking him by the wrist, and in a quick spin motion that almost mimicked a tango move he had the blond pinned to the wall. Fenris planted his hands firmly on either side of Anders' shoulders as he leaned in.

"Don't even joke about being with him tonight. I may not have any say about who you spend your time with - but for this weekend I do believe you are here to be my boyfriend... And I don't like to share..." Fenris' body was close enough that his warm minty breath ghosted over Anders' lips as he let his eyes roam. "Not when what is mine is so beautiful... tall, handsome, smart, charming.... just witty enough to dance the fine line between infuriating and irresistible. Hair like molten gold, eyes like the richest amber..."

He took a step back and grinned lightly. "So, there's my taste in men. Now you know." He hummed innocently as he turned and lifted the covers to get in.

 

 

_I should have asked for that shower..._

Anders remained pressed against the wall for at least half a minute, trying to surreptitiously catch his breath. He didn't want Fenris to notice just how much that had affected him.  
  
_I know he's just being nice, just a little friendly teasing but damn, he's convincing._

Well, if years of training in flirting and faking nonchalance had ever come in handy...

"Oh, don't worry sweetheart, I am all yours. I'm way too fond of that manhandling-thing of yours to even think of anyone else."

He made a point of sashaying slowly to his side of the bed, stopping just short of the headboard with his hip and head cocked to one side. "Now that just leaves the question: will you be able to bear the sight of my abominable garments, impeccable exception to the rule that you are, or should I take them off? As I recall, I do have a warm, prickly cactus to cuddle up to if the night gets too chilly for my delicate frame."

He flashed Fenris a broad grin and blew him a kiss before he lifted the covers and made to get in, not wanting to take the joke too far.

 

 

_Cheeky flirt didn't even give me chance to answer._

Fenris chuckled and clapped his hands loudly twice followed by "Lights sleep!" and they were shrouded in darkness, just the soft moonlight from the windows in the living area basking the place in a soft glow.

Fenris loved the teasing and banter. Anders was sharp as a tack and so charming. And if it had not been for the ever-present ghost of their kiss on his lips, threatening to make his knees weak, it would have been innocent.

He got comfortable, tucking his hands behind his head and spoke into the darkness, feeling Anders' presence in the bed, even if he couldn't see him. "I had only invited one other to this bed with me before. However, after I clapped to turn the lights down, she made a tasteless joke about how ‘we should bang so hard we're going to make the lights go on and off'. I do believe I faked heartburn and excused myself immediately. But since then I still smirk when I clap the lights off or on."

 

 

Anders chuckled. Well, alright, it _might_ have been more of a giggle. "Can't say I blame you... So maybe you're not _quite_ the exception to the rule after all if that's any indication of your taste in women."

He turned on his side to face Fenris. Even if he couldn't see his face in the new dark, it was comforting to see the outline of his body, so close he could easily reach out and touch him. He wouldn't, of course, but it was nice to know he was there. And that he was alright with _Anders_ being there.

"I do feel honoured that I'm allowed to share your bed, though," he said with a smile he belatedly realized Fenris wouldn't be able to see. "And I promise I won't make any remarks about not needing the lights to come on when you're nailing me so hard we see stars. I'm _way_ too classy for that.”

 

 

Fenris smiled. "No, I guess I'm not the exception." He turned so that he was facing Anders, aware that Anders was facing him too. It felt safe; intimate but good.

"But you are..." he said quietly.

Anders was an exception for Fenris on so many levels. Slowly he reached out and felt around till he found Anders' hand. "I'm glad you're here, Anders. Thank you for staying. I can't tell you how much that means to me."

 

 

This time, Fenris' touch didn't take Anders by surprise; he'd felt him fumbling around in the dark before he eventually found his hand. "There's no need to thank me, I want to stay. And... it means a lot that you let me, that you want me here too."

He interlaced their fingers, stroking his thumb over the back of Fenris' hand in small, soft circles. "Whatever else the weekend brings, I'll be right at your side. Oh," he added as an afterthought, " before I forget - all jokes aside, I do tend to get cuddly when I'm asleep. There’s a reason I’m paid to sleep with people, but not to actually _'sleep’_ with them. I don't think it will be a problem, my drooling, comatose body won't even manage to roll all the way over to your side in this giant bed of yours. But if I _do_ end up snuggling up to you, just kick me out of the bed. Or well, as far as you can kick me. I'll wake up mortified and not bother you anymore."

 

 

Fenris chuckled and shifted a little closer to Anders in the bed. "Now whatever happened to me being your cactus?"

Just as he was about to say more, there was a loud banging on the front door to his quarters. Sniffs could be heard through the door. "Brother? Can I come in?"

Fenris frowned and sat up, clapping the lights on. "Varania?"

He heard the door squeak open then shut again, then a sniffling red-eyed Varania appeared. "Is he really going to do it? Just take over and kick us out?" She sobbed. Without invitation, she rushed over to the bed and dropped onto it burying her face in her hands.

 

 

_COULDN'T THAT WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW, I AM SURE IT FUCKING COULD FOR FUCK'S SAKE!_

A quieter, less outraged second voice in his head tried to argue that this was for the best: they needed Varania on their side, rather sooner than later, and if the whole thing ended up bringing her and Fenris closer, even better. It would be good for him. Anders had a hard time listening to it, though. Because Fenris had not tensed and turned away at the mention of cuddling, no, he had moved _closer_ , had even teased him again. Who knew what might have happened if Varania hadn't chosen to barge in _now._

Probably not much, if anything, he shouldn't get his hopes up, but it had been nice and cosy and now it was loud and wailing... And _he_ was very much out of place and in the way.

"I should give you some privacy," he said, crawling towards the edge of the bed.

 

 

Fenris quickly grabbed Anders' wrist, whispering with a hint of panic. "Anders, no stay! I- I don't know what to do with a crying woman!" Fenris had no recollection of ever comforting a crying person. Comfort was not a word associated with him.

Maker, if there was a time this weekend he needed Anders it was now. He gently tugged Anders back down. "Please."

He turned to look at the sobbing girl on the end of the bed. Varania had always been a proud person and isolated herself when she was sad. When she got angry, however - she let everyone feel her wrath. But this was a version of her he didn't know how to approach.

 

 

Upon hearing the panic in Fenris' voice, Anders let himself be tugged back down.

"Alright," he nodded, gently prying Fenris' fingers off his wrist. He kept his hand in his for a moment, stroking it with his fingers as he quietly said, "I'll get back up now but don't worry, I'm just going to go sit next to her."

He waited for Fenris to nod, then walked over to where Varania was still sobbing, unsure what to do. It was never easy to comfort a stranger and while his first instinct was to hug her, he wasn't sure how she would react. Sure, she'd done the same when they arrived, but that was _before_. How would she feel about the touch of a whore? In the end, he settled for carefully placing a hand on her shoulder - easy to retract and not nearly as intimate as a hug.

"Varania? Varania, it's gonna be alright. He can't just kick you out. He's going to try, but you can fight back - and you can beat him."

 

 

Varania turned to Anders and pressed her face into his chest, curling up against him. "Y- y-you don't know for sure! He- he promised to make me Vice if I side with him. H- H- he said his victory is inevitable!"

Fenris stiffly crawled onto the duvet and moved closer to them. Slowly he reached out a hand and softly patted her back. "I won't let that happen, sis." He said with more determination than he thought he possessed at the moment. "We will stop him and then you, I and mother will run the business together."

Still pressed up against Anders she turned her head to face her brother. "You mean that?"

Fenris sighed. If that's what it took for him to save his mother and sister, to save their legacy, then yes - he would fight Danarius on it and come home. "Yes."

Varania took a few moments of sniffling to calm down then sat up. She smiled faintly at her brother then turned to Anders. Her brows furrowed as she looked at him. "At least you have better taste in boyfriends than pjs. What, did you murder an elderly lumberjack for this?"

 

 

_Yep, those two are definitely related._

Anders raised his eyebrows, smirking as he said, "You know, your brother asked me the same thing. But," he leaned closer and stage-whispered "wanna know a secret? The bigger your partner's desire to get them out of their sight the faster they... rip them off. Isn't that right, Fenris?" He wiggled his eyebrows at him over his shoulder.

_Anything not to think about Fenris going back to Tevinter, forced to work in a business he hates and thousands of miles away from you..._

It wasn't his place to complain or to tell Fenris what to do. He'd hate himself for returning to this life he had fought so hard to get away from - but he'd hate himself even more for letting _Danarius_ steal his father's legacy.

 

 

Fenris groaned and facepalmed as Varania giggled.

"Can I... sleep here with you?" She asked. " The bed is huge and I'm sure you two snuggle up anyway. I just... I don't feel like being alone right now."

Fenris raised an eyebrow and looked up at Anders. The poor man had gotten so much more than he bargained for when he agreed to stay. A crying sister, an interrogating mother, a crazy step-father... and still he was here.

Fenris smiled. "Sure. But I am _not_ sleeping in the middle!"

"Not it!" Varania chirped too.

The two elves grinned and looked at Anders. "Probably not the elven sandwich you're used to, hey?" Varania teased Anders to which Fenris swatted her behind the head.

 

 

"Oh honey, my sweet summer's nug, if only you knew," Anders heaved an exaggerated sigh, patting her cheek. "I hope you realise this means there'll be no ripping of pj's and you'll have to see them _in full daylight_ tomorrow."

With that, he crawled back to the top of the bed and underneath the covers, waiting for his fake-boyfriend and his fake-boyfriend's younger sister to settle in on either side of him, Varania to the left, Fenris to the right.

_What sort of life do I lead that this doesn't even make my top ten of strange nights..._

Well, at least he wouldn't have to worry about being cold.

 

 

Fenris scowled at the mention of Anders in an 'elven sandwich'. He didn't want to picture Anders in any kind of sexual situation with someone else, let alone two at once!

_How Would that even work? Wait! No! Not going to think about it!_

Meanwhile, his sister squealed in glee and hopped under the covers while he also got back under. She scooted too close to Anders for his liking, so without question, he reached out and pulled Anders to him, his arms around the man's waist as he was now tucked against his side.

"Still possessive of your toys after all this time brother?" She teased with a wink. She clapped the lights off. That's when Fenris realised how close he was to Anders... holding him. They were essentially... cuddling.

_This is okay. It felt...warm. Good._

Slowly he let the tension go and relaxed into it.

 

 

Anders decided to let the ‘toy’ remark go considering that just five minutes ago, Varania had been a sobbing mess. And considering that it had led to Fenris _pulling him into his arms_ in a huff of possessiveness. Normally, Anders wasn't that big on the overly jealous types but somehow with Fenris, he didn't mind. With him, it even felt kind of nice, sometimes. And the more he learned and... guessed... about Fenris' background, the more sense it made. It didn't come from an attitude of power and ownership; it wasn't meant to diminish or degrade him.

_Also, it's kind of hot... the way he slammed me against that wall..._

Nope, nope, bad idea, abort, those pyjamas wouldn't hide _everything_.

He forced his mind back out of the gutter. "Goodnight, Varania," he said over his shoulder. To Fenris, he murmured as he closed his eyes and snuggled his head into the crook of his neck, "This feels nice. Seems I got my cactus after all."

 

 

For a moment it felt like he couldn't breathe. Even with their varying body height and shapes, Anders just... _fit_ to him. He felt his heart pounding as he wrapped his arms around Anders.

_Good. Safe._

Anders wasn't pressuring him into anything, wasn't pinning him down and stripping him, threats of violence and vile praise on his lips. Anders was in chunky flannel pyjamas, snuggled up against him after he comforted his sobbing sister and now they were all three in the same bed.

Fenris felt his throat close as a wave of emotion washed over him. He swallowed it down and hugged Anders a little tighter. "Good night sister." He bowed his head and whispered to Anders. "Sleep well, Anders." He placed a soft kiss on Anders' forehead and settled in to sleep

 

 

Anders fell asleep almost immediately, the events of the day catching up to him. He dimly registered Fenris planting a kiss on his forehead, and some ruffling behind him as Varania struggled to find a comfortable position and then, he was out.

The sun hadn't made it far up the sky yet when he awoke, blinking in confusion at the unfamiliar surroundings. There was a warm weight against his back and something soft and fuzzy pressing into his neck and something... wet... somewhere... on his chest. One by one, things clicked into place.

The pressure against his back was Varania. To be precise, Varania's, ahem, behind. How exactly she had managed to twist herself into this position, he had no idea, but she was still fast asleep lightly and snoring.

And against his neck was Fenris' head, hair sticking out on in all directions in the most adorable way, tickling his chin. Ah, and the wet spot on his chest was just a bit of drool. Everything alright, everything nice and cosy, and he'd slept like a baby.

He wouldn't have minded sleeping some more... But he had no idea what time it was, he didn't even know when they had to get up, and he wouldn't put it past Sebastian to just manifest out of thin air and condescendingly announce breakfast was ready. Therefore, he decided it would be better to wake his bedmates.

In particular, the one still snuggled up to him. He cleared his throat, smiling to himself, and placed a soft kiss on the top of Fenris' head. "Time to wake up, darling."

 


	11. Cuddles to Start, Angst for Mains, Crumble to End

Fenris felt warm and more comfortable than he ever remembered being. But then there was talking and something in his hair.

"Mmnnoooooh," he protested and buried his face into … warmth…. That smelled very good. But... the texture on his cheek was soft like skin and against his neck thick and warm... flannel.

_Flannel!_

_Anders!_

In an instant, his eyes snapped open and he recoiled so fast he almost fell off the bed.

"Shut up losers! M'sleep'n..." his sister's voice said from...somewhere

 

 

_You startled him. Don't let it get to you. He has no reason to trust you._

It didn't help; the wide-eyed look on Fenris' face still hurt.

"Sorry," Anders said quietly, "I didn't mean to startle you. I just didn't want us to oversleep. I don't know when... and how... things start around here."

He bit his lip with an apologetic smile and turned around to Varania. Best to give Fenris some time to gather himself without someone staring at him. "Nope, no time f'sleep'n milady," he said with forced cheerfulness as he snatched the covers away to let the morning chill do the job of waking her. "Time to get ready to slay some dragons."

 

 

Varania yelped and all but crawled under Anders' flannel shirt. Even for an elf, she had always been quick and agile. As Anders laughed at the unintended tickling and tried to fend her off, and she was determined to avoid the daylight all together, Fenris found himself smiling.

This was okay. Everything was going to be okay. He had his sister, his mother and his... Anders.

"Alright you two, quiet down!" he said, but Anders and Varania just kept on going. He sighed. "Varania, kindly get out of my boyfriend's clothes."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "What? It's not like _you_ were trying to get in his pants!"

He raised an eyebrow at her. "I highly recommend you cease this or I will take over and _get into his pants_ and it'll just be uncomfortable for us all."

"Eeu!" She pulled a face.

 

 

"Varania," Anders said, throwing Fenris' a smirk over his shoulder, "be a dear and continue. As I'm sure you'll agree, it's about time these pyjamas get ripped off my body and torn to shreds. And," he turned back around and winked at her, "once the ripping begins, kindly give us some privacy. We do still have some time before breakfast starts, don't we? Please tell me we do."

 

 

Fenris felt as much as heard his heart pounding in his ears. This was a chance. A chance to kiss Anders. Would he regret not taking it when the weekend was over and he had to say goodbye?

"He won't do It," Varania huffed. "Too much of a prude. Always been. I can't tell you how many of my friends tried to get into his pants with no luck! And they were hot!"

"But they weren't Anders..." Fenris said with a smirk. "You were warned, sister." Fenris reached out a hand and cupped Anders' chin, turning it to him. Before he let his mind ask him WHAT THE KAFFAS he leaned down and pressed his lips to the other man's, letting his eyes fall shut.

Mythal take the wheel, Fenris was done with regrets. He wanted this and he was taking it.

He had finally had a taste of Anders, and he tasted like freedom… Fenris found he craved it.

 

 

_Sweet fucking Maker he is actually going to..._

Anders didn't even have time to finish the thought before Fenris' lips closed over his and his brain turned into a puddle of warm, blissfully thoughtless fuzz...

 _No_ , no had to keep his wits about him this time, or he would lose himself and push Fenris too far again. He couldn't risk that, not when _Fenris_ had been the one to kiss him, to take that leap of faith.

He let himself sink into the kiss, allowed his eyes to close and his back to melt into Fenris' chest, but he kept his arms at his side and his tongue still inside his own mouth. If Fenris wanted to move away, there would be nothing holding him back.

Behind him, Varania seemed to be unsure whether to gag or giggle.

 

 

All else melted away except for Anders' lips. Soft but firm, and _oh so responsive_ to his. He felt confidence stir inside him and moved his lips, brushing against Anders' before pressing in again, a little more. The desire to wrap his arms around Anders, to let his hands roam the skin under the shirt was so intense it scared him a little.

Varania made a gagging sound. "Fine fine! You proved your point! I'm awake!" she said, struggling to hide the smile in her voice. "You two are adorable together by the way..."

Fenris reluctantly pulled back from the kiss, opening his eyes to lock onto Anders'.

A knock on the door was the only warning before their mother burst in. " Fenris! Have you see your sis- ... oh. There she is."

 

 

_ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME????_

There was a Maker, and they hated him; that much was clear. Not only was the moment completely ruined, now Fenris' mother probably thought he was depraving _both_ her children.

He involuntarily tugged the covers a little further up his body. Not really necessary considering he was covered neck to toe in flannel ( _Andraste's high-class fashion sense, that frown, is she judging my PJs too?)_  but he couldn't help himself. When your boyfriend's, well, _fake_ boyfriend's, mum bursts in on you making out, you're 13 again, even if you have a degree, a mortgage and more grey hairs than you'd like to admit.

"Ah, ahem, Mrs. Leto, good morning. Varania eh... had trouble sleeping last night and... didn't want to be alone."

 

 

His mother smiled warmly and walked over to sit at the foot of the bed. "I'm glad she came here then. Seems like you three had quite the slumber party. I heard giggling from the hall but I didn't want to... intrude on the boys here," she winked at Fenris who turned bright red and shoved his face into a pillow.

"Mother!!"

She just chuckled. "But when Varania wasn't in her room I was worried."

"Sorry, mom... Didn't mean to scare you."

"That's alright." Her smile fell a little then. "Today... is going to be a more important day than we anticipated, as you all know. So please, be on your best behaviour. Danarius has scheduled a family stakeholders meeting for before dinner tonight. The family will start arriving in two hours, remember that we are the hosts. Act like it."

She stood and turned to Anders. "Thank you for taking care of my children." One eyebrow rose in a mimic of Fenris'. "Even if your taste in sleepwear is lacking... it's good to see your heart is not." With that, she smiled and left the room

 

 

"Seriously, what is it with you Leto's and flannel? Did a lumberjack murder half your family? Did the family dog choke on a plaid scarf?" Anders turned to Fenris in exasperation.

  _Two hours_.

He tried to fight off the feeling of the walls closing in on him. An important day indeed, and there was still so much to do. They had to make sure Varania and Fenris were on the same page, and they _had_ to talk to Fenris' mother and convince her to vote against her husband. With 50% of the votes, she would be the deciding factor... But she didn't seem to realise that. Or didn't  _want_ to realise that...

_Please talk to Fenris... if I knew there was a reason..._

He couldn't do that to Fenris, force him to talk about things he wasn't ready to talk about, essentially blackmailing him into revealing whatever it was he was trying to hide...

But he couldn't just do nothing either. Fenris, Varania, and their mother _had_ to talk before the meeting. They had to be a united front against Danarius. Anders felt dizzy, and it wasn't just because he was hungry.

_Two hours and not even a hint of a plan._

 

 

"Anders? Anders are you okay?" Fenris stared at the blond who looked dazed and maybe even a little nauseous.

_Was it the kiss? Did it turn Anders off? But Anders said he liked him..._

Fenris shook his head and quickly stood. "Varania, sit with him while I go get him some elfroot tea." Fenris hurried out to the kitchen. Varania sat with narrowed, knowing eyes looking at Anders.

"Scared?" she asked.

 

 

 _He's fussing over me. There's no need for it but... it's kind of sweet,_ Anders thought as Fenris hurried out of the room _._

He called after him not to bother, but Fenris was already out of earshot. And he was alone with Varania. Who, Anders realized, looked a lot more like her mother from up close.

_That's the Leto's for you, I guess. Short, but fierce._

As kind as they all seemed to be, everyone in this family was also at least a little scary.

_Or maybe that's just when you have reason to be scared..._

"Yep," he finally nodded. "Very, very scared. Terrified out of my fuc- freaking skin." He gave her a weak smile.

 

 

"Why?" She asked and pulled the blanket over her, sitting next to him shoulder to shoulder. "The family can be a bit... much. Believe it or not, we're the calm and responsible ones! Or well... Fenris and my mother are." She smiled and bumped his shoulder. "They're going to freak out at first, but they'll get over it. And if they don't, fuck 'em! Right? Everyone can see how happy you make Fenris. And that's all that matters."

 

 

He leaned against her, grateful for the warmth of the blanket. And also for the company, he realised. Varania was a genuinely nice (and delightfully shameless) girl, and contrary to what Fenris had said, she seemed to be on their side.

"Thank you. Really, thank you. Not everyone would see it that way. But..." He hesitated briefly, then decided he'd never get anywhere if he kept it 100% safe. 90% safe would have to do. "I'm not just worried for myself. Technically, you, Fenris, and your mother hold 60% of the shares. If you stand together, Danarius can't do sh... oh, whatever, you're an adult, _shit_. But if something goes wrong, if your mother sides with him... I'm afraid of what it would do to Fenris. To all of you.”

“Varania," he turned to look at her, careful to keep his voice low and steady even as he was once again chewing his lip bloody, "the way Danarius treated Fenris at dinner, the way he... spoke to him... Has that happened before?"

 

 

Varania, who had been pretty casual and light-hearted the entire morning suddenly became very quiet. She looked down and picked at the duvet cover.

"Yes." She sat for a while just collecting her thoughts; this was an issue that had weighed heavily on her heart for years. "When... father died, Fenris took it really hard. He was different before, wore the Leto name with pride and used to love going to work with our dad. He was so excited to one day run the business and 'take care of us all' as he would say. But then there was the accident..."

She sniffed a little. "Then came Danarius, our hero, and he fussed over us. Especially Fenris. He kept him close. Too close..." She pulled in on herself, rounding her shoulders and keeping her head down.

Her voice was small. "I always felt something was wrong, but I didn't know what. He would touch Fenris all the time. Make him sit on his lap. Take him to work with him whether he wanted to go or not. Fenris was a boy who just lost his father..." She looked up at Anders with the same big green eyes her brother had. Eyes they got from their father. "I don't know how it is in other houses. But is that normal? Is it right?"

 

 

Anders felt his fists balling at his side, his jaw clenching painfully. The worst part was that he couldn't even claim it came as a shock.

_You knew. You just didn't WANT to know. Just like everyone around them preferred not to know. Closed their eyes instead of protecting him._

Next to him, Varania had shrunk in on herself. She looked brittle, scared and suddenly so very, very young. She'd been a child. Still _was_ , in some ways. None of this was her fault. As hard as it was, he held her gaze.

"No. No, it's not." He swallowed. "Not when it happens like that. Not when it _feels_ like that. Not when the mere mention of his name, the sound of his voice is enough to terrify Fenris even now." He swallowed again. "Your mother... did she notice?"

_How the fuck could she not have noticed._

"Did she ever say anything?"

_Because she obviously didn't DO anything._

 

 

"Whenever she tried to say anything, to tell Danarius not to touch Fenris or leave him at home, he would get really mad. He would yell, say he was doing his best to save the business and take care of his 'son' and if she couldn't see it she was a bad mother."

She looked back at Anders and gave a weak smile. "He doesn't know it, but mother was the one who left a pamphlet for Kirkwall University in his room and organised for the open day at Fenris' school. It was her way of... trying."

Her bottom lip quivered. "Do you think Danarius hurt Fenris? That that's why he's... the way he is?"

 

 

_At least she got him out of here. Too little, too late, but at least she got him out._

He gave Varania something that had no right call itself a smile, the weak grimace of someone who had nothing else to give.

_You don't need me to answer that. Anyone who sees them in the same room together could tell you._

"I _know_ he hurt him. And I think you do too. I don't know in how many and which ways exactly, Fenris has never spoken about it to me and I'm not sure he ever will, but he _did_ hurt him. And your mother knows it too. She may not be ready to accept she knows it, but she does."

He swallowed thickly, the lump in his throat making it hard to speak. "Varania, we have to get him away from Fenris. Away from all of you."

_Preferably, away from the living._

 

 

"You're right..." she sighed. "But what do we-" Before she could continue the doors to the quarters opened and shut. Fenris appeared with a mug and a plate with some apple slices.

"How are you feeling?" he asked as he hurried to sit next to Anders and offer him the tea and apple. "I wasn't sure, but apple slices always made me feel better." Fenris looked up and suddenly felt the tension in the room, the way the two of them were looking at him, Varania almost like she wanted to burst into tears again. "...what is going on?"

 

 

_Apple slices... just like my mother used to make._

Under different circumstances, the thought would have made him smile, but under these particular circumstances, with Fenris staring at them through narrowed eyes, his body tensing visibly, smiling was the last thing on Anders' mind. He wouldn't lie to him. He _couldn't_ lie to him. But he also couldn't just ambush him by forcing him to face something he might not be ready to face.

He looked up at him, meeting his gaze and holding it. "We were talking about Danarius. About all the ways he's hurt your family. We're trying to find a way to get rid of him once and for all. Get him out of your business, your house, your life."

 

 

"Oh..."

_Why are they looking at me like that? They don't know. They couldn't know. Could they?_

Whatever brought it up, and no matter the surge of panic clenching his gut, he swallowed hard and nodded.

"I agree... It's necessary." His fists clenched. "I'll kill the bastard if I have to, but I won't let him take this from us." He sighed and ran his hand over his face. "But he is a smart man. We'll have to be smarter. He has a plan, I just know it."

 

 

Anders nodded. "Yes, he seems like the type to have a plan... And be super smug about it, arrogant prick that he is," he added grimly. "Killing him right when he's staging a coup would arouse way too much suspicion though, we'd have to wait at least a year before his _tragic accident_."

Anders wasn't even sure if he was joking.

Fenris was still standing at the foot of the bed, looking tense and forlorn... and tired. A weariness way beyond his years. Anders took a slice of apple and broke it in two, holding one half out to Fenris.

"Why don't you sit down with us and we try to come up with a plan of our own?"

 

 

Fenris nodded and sat down next to Anders. After a moment’s hesitation, he shifted up against Anders so their thighs and shoulders were touching. He didn't look up to see how the man would react, he just ate his apple slice and tried to soak in the comfort the man's presence gave him.

"I... I know the family doesn't like him much. We need to use that to our advantage. If we see him getting too close to some of the stakeholders we need to break it up."

Varania nodded. "I could always invite Sera over. She always had a way of finding out people's plans. But more than that... I don't know."

Fenris looked up into Anders' eyes, hoping the vulnerability in his wasn't showing. "What do you think I should do?"

 

 

Anders leaned into Fenris' touch, lightly, not applying pressure but reminding him he was there, he was on his side. His heart clenched at the raw emotion in Fenris' eyes.

_You shouldn't have to be here. You shouldn't have to deal with this at all._

Still, he held his gaze, tried to give him a small smile. "I think you've got the right idea so far. If Danarius isn't popular with the family, his reach is even more limited than I thought."

He turned his head for a moment to look at Varania. "I don't know how much help this Sera will be but it can't hurt to try. We need as many people on our side as we can get. And," he turned back around to face Fenris, "Fenris is right, you need to keep him away from the shareholders. But..." he took a deep breath, "I still think the most important part is getting your mother on your side. Even if you can convince every other family member to side with you, if Danarius has her shares, it's still a tie.”

“And..." he involuntarily started chewing on his lip again, "business aside, we need to break his hold on her. She's made mistakes, big ones. Even if she thought she was doing the right thing... she should have protected you. But if we don't help her now, he will destroy her. She's the major shareholder, _she_ is the one with all the cards - and he has made her feel small, worthless, like she is nothing."

He trailed off, reaching out a hand to cup Fenris' cheek but stopping himself at the last moment. "I can't tell you what to do but I don't see any other way than at least one of you, better yet both of you, talking to her." A small, sad smile flickered across his face. "But these talks aren't gonna be easy ones, and I wouldn't fault either of you for feeling like it's too much to bear."

 

 

Fenris studied the man’s face... tried to decipher what Anders was saying- and not saying. He narrowed his eyes. He kept his intent gaze on Anders as he addressed his sister. "Sounds good. Varania, why don't you go get ready and we'll meet you for breakfast."

Sensing the odd tension in her brother she quickly slipped out of bed. "Ok. I'll just..." she bolted for the door and closed it behind her.

When he heard the door click shut Fenris was on his feet, pacing. "What do you know, Anders? Stop dancing around me - treating me like fine porcelain! I've had enough of it!"

He always suspected his sister and mother knew. How could they not? But his gratefulness for them pretending it didn't happen ran out years ago. Now there was only shame and scars. He could take their pussy-footing around it.

Not from Anders. Anders was supposed to be on his side, supposed to be his friend!

_Friends are honest!_

 

 

As Fenris paced up and down in front of him, looking like he was ready to rip his heart out at any moment, Anders tried to remind himself that his anger was a good thing.

_Yelling is better than silence... He's attacking me instead of hiding, that's progress... he can't go on like this..._

It did little to stop the pain of knowing that at the end of this conversation, Fenris would most likely hate him. Be done with him forever. If he wasn't already.

Anders lifted his head, took a deep breath. He couldn't look into Fenris' eyes since he refused to stand still for even a second, but maybe that was for the better.

_No analgesic. He's way past that. Just make it fast, get to the root of the infection. And then live with the consequences._

"I know Danarius hurt you. I have personally seen him verbally abuse you, I have seen him touch you without your consent."

He took a shallow breath and forced himself to push through. "I have seen him... touch your neck. That is what I _know_. But what you're really asking is what I _suspect_ and since you brought it up, I will be blunt. Because there is no good or easy or sugar-coating way to say this. I think he abused you with more than just words. I think he assaulted you physically, and sexually. I think he has been hurting you for a long, long time and," Anders briefly closed his eyes but then pushed on, "I think your mother knew."

 

 

Fenris froze on the spot. His whole body was rigid.

He wanted to scream and rage that it wasn't true. He wanted to fall to his knees and cry out in anguish at finally hearing his shameful secret out loud.

He needed comfort. He needed to be alone. Slowly he turned around to face Anders. He kept his back straight and his head high. Proud, and not backing down. A true Leto. But he could feel the heat in his eyes, see his vision blur with tears.

"I...."

What should he do?

 _Fight? Run? Admit? Deny? Scream? Cry?_ _Could he truly trust Anders?_

"It's true."

Just like that, Fenris felt his strong, stoic façade crumble. Old broken parts of him he had plastered together and tried to forget were shaken and he didn’t know if he could keep himself together…

…not alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... that was depressing... 
> 
> But Hark! Doth not despair my pretties. So much more fun and adventure to come.


	12. Breaking Boundaries and Breakfast

 

Anders wanted nothing more than to pull Fenris into his arms, to hold him close, tell him over and over again that it wasn't his fault, that it was Danarius' shame, not his, that he was brave and strong and wonderful, but he forced himself to remain seated. Fenris didn't react well to touch even in his best moments and this... this might well be one of the worst. And another thing he didn't react well to was being coddled.

"Thank you for telling me," he said quietly. He kept his eyes on Fenris' face, even if Fenris had his fixed on the empty wall behind him. "And whatever you need - I am here. If you need to punch someone, I am here. If you need someone to hold on to, I am here. If you need to talk, I will listen. And if you want to be alone, I will leave this room."

He could feel his fists balling at his side, tightly enough that he was afraid he might break a bone. "And no matter what, I will help you make sure this bastard is kicked out of your life, even if it means I'll have to kill him myself."

 

 

Fenris could hear the sincerity in Anders' voice. Anders didn't judge, didn't think less of him.

Suddenly all the fight left him and he felt tired and weak. He wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and wrap around Anders. But he didn't trust himself to keep it together.

He ran a hand over his face. "This is turning out as one of the worst days..." He dropped his hand and turned to look at Anders. "I thank you. For your... honesty and continued support. I... I'm going to take a bath now."

He didn't feel like standing. He filled the tub with too warm water, how he usually did when he felt dirty, felt like he wanted the heat to burn away everything.

He got in, the water reaching his chest, dropped his head on his knees and bit his lip to keep from being overwhelmed by the emotion and memories that had remained hidden for so long.

 

 

_He didn't run. He doesn't hate me._

Anders was torn between relief and concern. Given the circumstances, Fenris' reaction had been better than he'd hoped, but now he'd left for the bathroom without sparing him another look. Anders had no idea what to do next. He couldn't barge in there; the last thing Fenris needed was someone disrespecting his personal space. But he didn't just want to leave the room without telling him either.

_He's had enough people abandoning him._

He cautiously approached the bathroom, making sure to stay out of sight, and called out in a low voice, "I'm going to go sit in the living area. If you need anything, call my name. And if you want me to leave your quarters entirely, just yell "leave". I'll go find the kitchen, or Varania, and you'll have your privacy."

 

 

_I don't want to be alone anymore. I've been alone long enough._

There was nothing as isolating as secrets, and now there was someone who knew. Someone who didn't look at him in disgust.

"Could you... sit with me?" He muttered against his knees that were pressed tight against his chest. "If you want to. If you'd rather shower and finish up you're welcome to do so too."

 

 

Fenris spoke so quietly, Anders could just barely make out the words. He walked the last few steps into the bathroom, yet made sure to stay on the periphery.

Letting himself sink down against the wall right next to the doorway, he quietly said, "I'll sit with you. There'll be enough time to shower and get ready later."

The floor was hard and cold against his flannel-covered ass, but physical comfort mattered little right now. What mattered was that Fenris knew he was safe, that his boundaries and wishes would be respected. He had invited Anders to sit with him, not given him permission to look, and the last thing he needed right now was for Anders to cross a line. Or for Anders to parade around the room naked, even if he'd suggested the shower himself.

So he remained where he was, head resting against the wall, picking lint off his pyjama pants.

 

 

Fenris sat in the scorching water till it started turning cold, Anders' silent presence a comfort he couldn't begin to explain. With a sigh, he finally sat up and sunk down into the water. He quickly washed his hair and body and checked that Anders wasn't watching before he stood and grabbed a towel.

"Thank you, Anders." He said as he walked over and offered his hand to help the man up. "For... everything."

 

 

Anders took to hand offered to him and let Fenris pull him to his feet. He held on to his hand for a moment longer, softly squeezing it as he said, "There's nothing to thank me for. I'll be here, whatever you need."

He let go and gave him a crooked smile. It was hard to gauge what exactly Fenris needed, to find the right balance between his desire for privacy and his need for comfort. "Should I just take my shower now, so you'll have time to get dressed?"

 

 

"You really mean that, don't you?" Fenris asked, a small smile even though it didn't reach his eyes. "I have never met anyone like you, Anders."

His eyes moved over the comfy, warm looking flannel, Anders' messy hair, and his soft eyes. He tucked the huge towel that covered his knees up to his chest in and awkwardly lifted his arms, stepping into Anders' space.

_A hug. Just a hug. Hugs are simple. Hugs show thankfulness and kindness and… affection._

He stiffly folded his arms around the taller man's torso and pressed against him.

 

 

Anders carefully folded his arms around Fenris' back, softly pulling him closer yet keeping his touch light.

_Safe, not caged_

He hoped Fenris could tell the difference, but that he'd reached out of his own accord seemed like a good sign.

"Yes, I mean it," he said as Fenris' damp hair tickled his skin. "Every single word. Anything you want, anything you need. And," he added a little more quietly, "I have never met anyone like you either."

The tiles were icy beneath his feet but Fenris was warm in his arms, so fragile, so strong, and he refused to let go before Fenris needed him to. If they ended up standing in this spot for all of eternity, then so be it.

 

 

When Anders put his arms around him it felt like a blanket of warmth surrounding him. He hoped that it was a good thing that Anders had never met someone like him. Anders has surely met a lot of people in his career. Fenris hugged him close enough that he could feel his heartbeat through the flannel, then let go and stepped away.

"I'm going to start getting dressed... feel free to shower or bath." He hesitated, stole one more quick hug and hurried out without making eye contact.

 

 

Anders briefly debated whether to risk another round in Fenris' sci-fi cubicle of damp death or just take a bath, yet eventually settled on giving the shower another chance. He wasn't in the mood to sit still, too antsy to get any kind of relaxation out of sitting motionlessly in his own filth.

It went slightly better than it had the day before, and he took his time letting the gush of warm water drown out his thoughts. When he was absolutely certain Fenris had had enough time to get dressed, he wrapped himself in a towel and returned to the bedroom to get dressed himself.

 

 

Fenris' head was a jumble of conflicting thoughts and nerves. The day had begun with the subtlety of a hurricane. But now that it had happened, Anders knew and didn't reject him, his sister and mother were focused on saving the company - although it seems their methods differed - it was time to begin.

He looked at himself in the mirror as he fixed his collar on his new crisp grey button down before pulling the dark red sweater vest over. He would not allow Danarius to take this from him too. He would find a way to stop him.

...and he would do it with Anders at his side. The thought lifted his spirits and strangely gave him a confidence he would otherwise have had to fake.

He was fixing his cufflinks when he walked from the wardrobe into the bedroom to see Anders with the towel, tossing his flannel pjs on the bed.

He smirked. "You know, you might as well toss those things right into the hearth in the corner. They seem quite... flammable. Although I suspect that sacrifice will anger the gods more than appease them."

 

 

Anders raised his eyebrows. "What have the poor things ever done to you?"

_Well, look, he's back to insulting my pyjamas._

But he'd gladly take it if it meant Fenris was feeling better. He made sure to take extra long to fold the offending garment and arrange it into a neat pile on the pillow on his side of the bed.

"I'm afraid you'll have to put up with their sight for just a little bit longer. I only brought the one pair so unless you want me to sleep in my underwear, I'll need them tonight. But if you wish, we can destroy them in a ritual burning ceremony tomorrow."

He threw Fenris a cheeky grin and bent to pick up his bag, nearly causing his towel to come loose and fall to the floor but catching it at the last moment.

 

 

"We can donate them to the Kirkwall lighthouse. I'm sure the fires from the fabric will light up all the way to Redcliffe."

His eyes grew as he saw the towel come lose and start to slip. He should look away.

He really should.

When Anders caught it at the last minute he let out a small involuntary whine of disappointment.

Mortified, he quickly cleared his throat and shuffled his feet. "I'll ah... just brush my teeth and fix my hair. ...you finish up in here..."

He quickly walked with determination back into the bathroom

 

 

_What was... that? He sounded like a guinea pig on helium... did accidentally flash him my bare ass?_

Anders stared after Fenris in confusion for a moment before he firmly shook his head and turned his attention back to his bag. They hadn't even had breakfast yet and it already felt like one of the longest days of Anders' life. He didn't even want to imagine how emotionally draining it had been for Fenris. If anyone deserved carte blanche to act a little weird, it was him.

He rummaged through his clothes and eventually settled on black pants and a simple teal button-down shirt. There was no point in trying to pass for fancy; Danarius would have made sure word of his job got around. But he could still make an effort to look nice. For Fenris.

All dressed, he joined Fenris in his bathroom. "If I recall last night's lecture correctly there are two sinks, and since I need to brush my teeth and fix this sorry mess," he pointed to his hair and winked at Fenris, "as well..."

He trailed off and grabbed the toothbrush Fenris had given him, unable to hide a tiny smirk as he recalled his remark about its _length_ , and began to brush his teeth.

 

 

Fenris grinned at the look Anders had when he took the toothbrush. "Indeed." He finished his hair, then eyed Anders' adorable mop mess. He hummed and left the room, returning with the small stool from the vanity in the wardrobe.

"Sit," he instructed, putting it in front of the sink so Anders couldn't continue brushing his teeth. Fenris retrieved a soft bamboo hairbrush from his drawer and started combing through the man's hair, making sure to be gentle with the tangles.

 

 

At first, Anders wanted to protest that he was quite capable of taking care of this himself but Fenris' had the same "no-nonsense" look about him that several other Leto's had levelled at him this weekend and... well, he had to admit it felt rather nice to be taken care of like this.

Fenris was gentle, careful with his movements and eventually, Anders closed his eyes and let himself enjoy the fussing and the warmth of his presence. There were so many things they still had to discuss: how to handle the other guests, what to about Fenris' mother, what Anders' role was to be in all of this...  But he had no doubt Fenris knew that as well as he did, and he didn't want to taint the comfort of the moment with the threats of the day, so all he said was, 

"You think we still have time for breakfast?"

 

 

Fenris hummed and braided the hair on the side of Anders' head before tying it all back in a neat pony. "Yes, I believe so. Don't worry. Us Leto's aren't renowned for our punctuality."

He admired Anders' hair from all angles then stood back. "Handsome," he said with a smile. Then turned and made his way back. "You ready?"

 

 

Anders got up and looked at himself in the mirror, a smile on his face as he turned to Fenris. "Not just a bartender, a hairstylist too. You're full of hidden talents. And yes," he nodded, "I'm ready. Lead the way."

It wasn't just a pleasantry; he'd never find the kitchens on his own.

As he followed Fenris out through the bedroom and living quarters, he felt his stomach rumbling. Time for breakfast indeed.

_I just hope we don't run into Sebastian on the way; that guy's like a laxative on legs._

 

 

As they neared the dining hall and kitchen, Fenris offered his arm to Anders again.

_According to them, we are still a couple, I suppose. I wonder how mad Varania will be if she finds out it's not true?_

"Morning Master Fenris," Sebastian said as he appeared from the kitchen with a tray of tea for his sister and mother who were seated at the table. "Sleep in?" Sebastian didn't address Anders, but just let his eyes roam over the man as if he were something dead and rotting the cat dragged in. Fenris led Anders to the table and pulled out a chair.

"A little. It is rather difficult to get out of bed if Anders is in it. You should see the sleepwear he wore..." On cue, both Varania and their mother snorted and nearly choked on their toast.

 

 

"Indeed," Anders nodded, smiling sweetly at Sebastian as he sat down. "I made sure to wear Fenris' favourite for the occasion, it never fails to make him act like he's _on_ _fire_. Isn't that right, darling?"

He turned his attention from Sebastian - _of course he is here, the universe hates me_ \- to Fenris, watching with a little smirk as he sat down next to him.

Offering him his arm, pulling out a chair and now breakfast with the family... there was no denying it: he'd miss this. Even if they were faking, the intimacy between them felt surprisingly real.

He bowed his head slightly at Varania and their mother, who were sitting across from them. "I apologise for keeping your son and brother so long." Since Sebastian was still hovering at the end of the table and Anders definitely didn't want him to know about the events of the night/morning, he added a cheerful, "You both look enviably radiant. I trust you slept well?"

 

 

"Well enough, thank you, dear," their mother said politely as she dabbed the corners of her lips with a napkin.

"Like a baby," Varania added and winked at Anders.

Fenris rolled his eyes and turned to Sebastian as he sat down next to Anders. "Sebastian, I'll have eggs Benedict, medium, with a side of lemon butter sautéed mushrooms and a hash brown with a double Americano."

He took Anders' hand and placed a kiss on it. "Order whatever you like, dear. Sebastian will make it." He hoped the mischief in his eye conveyed that if he wanted to get back at Sebastian, here was his chance.

 

 

For a moment, Anders seriously considered telling Sebastian that he would make his own breakfast. He couldn't imagine anything more horrifying for constipated snobbery personified than a peasant whore setting foot in his kitchen and messing with his appliances. He savoured the thought a moment, not bothering to hide his grin.

_Getting in your pants... and getting them all hot and dirty too..._

But ultimately, he decided against it. It would mean spending time apart from Fenris, and he wanted to cherish what little of that they had left before the storm began. Thus, he settled for merely ordering peasant food.

 _Lots_ of peasant food.

He kept his eyes on Fenris'. "Oh, that's a tough decision, after _last night._ " He threw in a wink for good measure. "I am positively  _starving_. So... maybe some scrambled eggs with tomatoes and sausages, blueberry pancakes, hot buttered toast, a chocolate chip muffin, porridge with apple slices, orange juice and... a large chocolate milkshake. Oh, and a bowl of strawberries for," he gave Fenris a lingering look, " _later_. If your employee - Sebastian, right? - can handle it."

 

 

Fenris watched in glee as Sebastian actually broke his pristine professionalism for a brief moment with his left eye twitching up a storm.

"Oh oh!" Varania's eyes grew wide as she bounced on her seat. "Cancel my coco pops, I want that too!"

Sebastian stood frozen for a moment, then looked beseechingly at their mother who just took a delicate sip of her tea and raised an eyebrow. "Thank you, Sebastian. And do hurry - time is of the essence. Wouldn't want it to poorly reflect on you that you took so long to fix our breakfast that we were late to the reunion, do you?"

Sebastian scrambled on the spot before darting into the kitchen. Fenris chuckled as he looked over at Anders, only to have his breath catch.

Anders was... incredible. Besides being breathtakingly gorgeous, he made him laugh and smile more than anyone ever before. He made him feel safe and cared for in a way he hadn't since before his father passed.

He hadn't noticed he was staring till Varania kicked him under the table then proceeded to wiggle her eyebrows at his scowl.

 

 

Anders had to stifle a laugh when Fenris' mother tore Sebastian to shreds without even raising her voice, a picture perfect example of dignified politeness.

_With a broadsword underneath_

He couldn't help it, he found himself warming up to her - which made for a nice old muddle of complicated feelings. She wasn't just Danarius' victim, she was complicit in all those years of abuse Fenris had had to suffer, and a part of him wanted to dump her into a live volcano right along with her husband. While another part desperately wanted her to like him, to approve of their relationship.

Confusing as it was, for him, it didn't really matter. When the weekend was over, he'd never see her again. But Fenris... Fenris would be burdened with these conflicting feelings for a long time. Possibly, his whole life.

His thoughts were interrupted when he felt movement under the table and, immediately afterwards, heard Varania giggle with glee.

_Did I miss something?_

He turned his attention back to the table and found himself struck by how awkwardly silent it was. Should he try to break the silence? It wasn't really his place to interfere and not exactly the time for small talk either but... Varania's giggle had been the only sound for quite a while. Everyone was just staring into their teacups and avoiding each other's eyes.

_This is going to be a long breakfast, isn't it?_

 

 

The silence at the table was heavy, with everyone aware that there was actually so much to be said.

Fenris cleared his throat. "Mother, I understand that the decision to choose between your children and your husband might be a difficult one..." He pressed his leg against Anders' under the table. It was surprising to him how much strength touching Anders gave him. "I have... given it some thought and discussed the matter with Varania. My wish is that you vote to keep the business in the family name. If so, I... will return and manage it along with Varania."

_As Dad always wanted._

Their mother looked at him intently, then at Varania's pleading eyes. Her husband's eyes. "Anders," she began and turned to him, "I'm afraid you may know Fenris better than I do. What do you think? Do I vote in favour of my husband who has carried the business for almost two decades, but remove their father's name, the Leto name, from its legacy, or do I gamble that my son truly will give up on his dreams and life in the South and return to the life he left behind to run a company with his sister he barely gets along with?"

Her words were clinical, but the wrinkles around her eyes showed that it was a heavy choice for her.

 

 

_Why me?!_

Anders internally screamed at the heavens. He had known Fenris for less than a week, of which less than 24 hours had actually been spent in his company; how had he ended up in this position, with Fenris leaning against him, trusting him to help with a decision Anders couldn't _possibly_ know the right answer to, and his mother essentially asking him to decide the future of their company?

_"I'm afraid you may know my son better than I do..."_

The worst part was that it might well be true. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to sort the word salad in his head. He couldn't confirm her suspicions about what a monster her husband really was. That was Fenris' choice, not his. But he sure as hell wasn't going to go along pretending that whether or not Fenris was dependable was the deciding factor here.

"Before I comment on anything else, let me say that your husband may have run the company, but he has done so in _his own_ best interest. And that he is now not only trying to erase the legacy of your children's father, he is also trying to steal it from _you_. I have seen the way he treats both you and your children and I am going to be blunt here: if you give him power over your company, the consequences will be disastrous. _Will_ , not _could_. Which I have no doubt you know yourself. And you do have an alternative." He turned to look at Fenris. "This may not have been the outcome he has been hoping for, but Fenris is a man of his word. He will return and help run the company." He paused briefly, then added. "For as long as Varania needs him."

 

 

Fenris gave Anders a small smile. The support the man was giving him was unwavering. And with it, Fenris felt like he could take on the world.

_Could take on Danarius._

Their mother, who truly seemed to be listening to Anders, nodded. "I... cannot disagree with you. Very well. Knowing the opinion of all three of my kids," she winked warmly at Anders, "I do believe that settles it. I will vote to keep the company."

There was a muffled curse at the kitchen doors. Everyone turned to see Sebastian peeping through, suddenly pushing the door open when he had eyes on him. "Your breakfast, Mistress Varania and ...Anders." Fenris narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"Thank you, mother!" Varania beamed, unaware of the odd behaviour their butler just showed. "We won't let you down! I promise! Ooh, now today is going to be _so_ much more fun."

Fenris turned to his mother, bowing his head slightly. "I will strive to prove worthy of your vote of confidence. Thank you, mother."

 

 

_That slimy, sneaking little slug._

Anders mentally cursed himself - they should never have had an important discussion like this in a public place. Given the way Fenris' mother interacted with Sebastian, he had little doubt the man was essentially _Danarius'_ employee.

_And Danarius always has a plan, that's what Fenris said, isn't it..._

He wiped a hand across his face, hiding his sigh. Nothing to be done about that now; they would just have to deal with whatever the consequences were when they presented themselves. At least they had succeeded in getting Fenris' mother on their side, and he had indicated that even though Fenris would return for now, he intended to eventually pass the company on to Varania.

_Putting his dreams on hold is better than having to give them up entirely._

He smiled at Fenris' mother, trying and failing not to feel a spark of warmth at being called one of her 'kids'. "I am very glad to hear that."

He then turned his attention to Varania, "Oh by the way, did you invite that friend of yours... Sera, I believe?"

For now, they could take a break and breathe but in the long run... he'd rather they had all the support they could get.

 

 

Varania happily chatted while stuffing blueberry muffin in her mouth, excited at seeing her friend again and the mischief they would be getting into no doubt. The rest of breakfast passed uneventfully. Some minor excitement and concerns about the day, ending in a stern reminder for them to be presentable in the West garden wing where the festivities would be. Lunch would be served under a makeshift tent on the lawn, and dinner by 6h30 pm in the main dining hall, where Danarius would call for the vote.

As they split, mother to her chambers, Varania squealing in excitement into her phone because apparently Sera was already somewhere in the garden terrorising the servants.

Fenris held his arm out for Anders. "Do you want to touch up, then come down when the guests start to arrive, or, if you feel ready, I can show you more of the garden. My favourite part of it, at least. It's a bit more... secluded.

 

 

Breakfast with the family... It was nice, like a distant memory from another life. And he... he almost felt as if he was actually _part_ of that family.

_I wonder how welcoming they would be if they knew they'll never see me again after tomorrow._

 Anders firmly pushed the thought away, stuffing himself with food instead. Say what you will about Sebastian ( _ugh_ ), he was a wizard in the kitchen. By the time they all took their leave, Anders was so full he could barely move. Which made Fenris' offer to go "touch up" tempting. Just lie down a bit, take a breath before he'd have to face the guests...

No, he'd just fall asleep immediately, and he only had two days left with Fenris. He could sleep when he was back In Kirkwall.

_Alone._

He smiled up at Fenris, took his arm and let him help him out of the chair. "A secluded place in that lovely garden? Sounds great."

 

 

Fenris smirked a little at Anders waddling the first few steps like a pregnant woman. Sebastian always had been an excellent cook. They walked in comfortable silence through the halls out into the garden.

Fenris led Anders to the more secluded part in the back of the estate. "My father used to love it here..." he said thoughtfully. "For years I think the only people who came here was him and the head gardener. Good to see Adaan is still doing the upkeep." It felt nice, special, sharing these bits and places with Anders.

He looked at the man as they strolled through the hedges and rose bushes. "I know on the plane you said to ask after the weekend... But- and correct me if I'm misreading it - I feel like so far not a lot has gone according to plan."

They stopped in a lovely, quiet space. "Will you tell me more about yourself? I... I wish to know you. Not just the confident, handsome, charming one that somehow got both my sister and me into bed last night," he winked, "but the brave boy who came to Kirkwall and became a doctor but lost so much that he... he decided to sell himself instead?"

 


	13. A Purrfect Stroll in the Garden

_One weekend. I just wanted one weekend_

Anders suppressed a sigh. The garden around them was beautiful, a lush dark green with specks of colour, and Fenris was right - it really did feel more secluded from the estate, like they were back in their own little bubble, even though they were outside. He could have come up with at least ten better uses for this place - _making out in the grass, holding hands while smelling the roses..._ \- but of course, those were merely foolish fantasies.

He wanted to deflect, to at least keep enjoying this comfortable silence a little longer, but after the events of the morning, after everything Fenris had trusted him with... he couldn't shut him out. He couldn't take everything yet give nothing.

He turned to Fenris, forcing a smile. "Sharp and smart, I should have known you wouldn't forget about this. And you're right, nothing has gone to plan so far, so we might as well do away with plans altogether. And... I do want you to know me too." It was the truth. That the thought terrified him didn't mean he didn't want it.

_But where to even start?_

"Alright, so... ask away, whatever you want to know, and I'll answer." He forced another smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "But it seems like the 'selling myself' part bothers you the most."

 

 

Fenris looked down at his feet, not being able to look Anders in the eye. "I... It is. I know I'm coming across as a terrible hypocrite. I am not against prostitution or escort agencies, I've never been. But with you... I..."

_Kaffas, I don't even know what I want to say._

"...you're different. I can't shake the feeling that you have so much more to offer than charms and a warm body." Fenris eyed Anders' hand hanging at his side. Beautiful long fingers, a doctor's hands. He took a deep breath and took the hand in both his before looking up.

"So what's your story? Why did you flee from your family the way you did? Why did you give up medicine? You don't have to tell me everything if you don't want to.

 

 

Anders closed his eyes, taking a deep breath to steady himself. "No, it's alright, I'll start at the beginning and... see how far we get."

 _How long it takes you to up and run_.

"As I already told you, my father is religious. With a capital R. He was strict, very much so, but... he treated me well. I loved him. And he loved me. Well. At least until the day he found out I carry the gene."

He kept his eyes on his feet. Talking about it was bad enough; he didn't need to see Fenris' reaction. "It was my 12th birthday, they'd gotten me the cake I wanted - it was shaped like a cat, I remember it like it was yesterday - and they were searching for a match to light the candles. I was so excited, I could barely sit still. And then the candles lit up by themselves."

He could feel himself starting to talk faster, almost stumbling over his words. "And just like that, my birthday was over. By next day, he had arranged for me to be neutered. As you might know, treatment has to be applied before you finish puberty to be effective."

He trailed off, still refusing to look at Fenris. "Do you want me to continue?"

 

 

Fenris stared dumbfounded but he had to focus to unclench his teeth. He didn't know what to feel or think. Anders looked so bare and vulnerable as he was... letting Fenris see beneath his carefully put together mask.

"Go on... if you want to." He led Anders to a nearby bench and sat down. More because he needed to sit than thinking Anders might want to.

 

 

Anders let himself sink down next to Fenris, making sure to leave some distance between them and keeping his eyes on his feet. "I returned home after eight weeks, but it was not the same. It was never the same again. He claims he did me a favour." Even after all those years, Anders still tasted bile at saying the word. "As a neutered mage, I'm not on any government watch lists. I'm considered harmless - not that I was ever dangerous to begin with. Ever since our ancestors succeeded in strengthening the Veil, magic is just a pale shadow of what it used to be. The mages of old could rain fire, I was considered strong for being able to light several candles at once."

He could hear himself snort as if from a distance, a hollow, bitter sound. "But it doesn't matter. It's not why he _really_ did it. He believes in the old tales about magic being a sin, a test from the Maker to see if we can withstand temptation."

A voice, more his father's than his own. "'Magic tempts man to make himself into a god. To remain pure, he must reject it'. He thinks he purified me. He didn't. He _took_ something from me. There's a piece of me that should be there but isn't. And I can still feel where it used to be, hollow and jagged like a broken tooth. He never understood. Never apologised for what he did. And to this day, he hates me for what I am. A stain on his bloodline. A walking reminder of sin."

 

 

Fenris had a painful hollow feeling in his chest as he listening to Anders.

"I am... so sorry Anders." He reached out a hand to gently cup the man's face and turn it to him till their eyes met. Anders' usually vibrant eyes were pained and naked.

"You never deserved that. I... have some magic in my bloodline too. My sister manifested at a young age. We got her a very expensive but discreet tutor and decided not to tell anyone outside the family." He softly brushed his thumb over Anders' cheek. "I'm so sorry that was taken from you. But please never think of yourself as anything but whole ... and wonderful."

 

 

Anders couldn't help himself, he leaned into the touch. "I have never met a mage who was allowed to keep it." His voice was hoarse and he wasn't even sure whether he was talking to Fenris or to himself.

"All the other children in the ward were there for the same reason, to be made ‘normal’. Karl told me there were others, those whose parents didn't mutilate them. Working for the government, mostly, but he told me about one who made it into seismology... even with little power, you can do a lot."

Through the shimmer of tears in his eyes, he could feel himself smiling at the memory, the words, the voice who'd said them.

"Your sister is lucky she had you." A part of him wanted nothing more than to let his head rest on Fenris' shoulder and cry. Another wanted to pull away and flee. Fenris hadn't run, hadn't rejected him.

But Anders knew better than to rejoice. He hadn't run _yet_. There were still more than enough reasons to eventually make him do so.

 

 

As Anders blinked a single tear rolled down his cheek. That evidence of Anders pain clenched something in Fenris' chest, and before he could stop himself he leaned forward and kissed the stray tear away.

A little shocked at his own brazenness at a time that he should make Anders feel safe, Fenris quickly cleared his throat. "You've mentioned Karl before. He was the person you knew in Kirkwall?"

 

 

It was just a second, just a flicker of lips against the salt on his skin, yet it made Anders feel safe, accepted in a way he hadn't since...

"Yes. Karl was the... person I knew in Kirkwall. But we met long before that. He was in Kinloch Hospital at the same time as I was, and for the same reason. As his parents liked to say, they 'just about got him there in time'. He was almost 15, he'd managed to hide his magic for years. But not long enough. They took it away too. And he and I... we became close friends. Many of the other children didn't really care that their magic was to be taken away. Most of them were still very young, I don't think they even understood what was being done to them, they were just counting the days until they could go back home. Karl and I... we both felt it. What we were losing."

He turned his head to the side, not breaking free from Fenris' touch but avoiding his eyes. "We didn't see each other again for years after we were released, but we wrote and called, and later chatted, as much as we could. And in the years before I could finally run away for good, when things with my father got... bad... our friendship was the only thing keeping me sane. Sometimes, the only thing keeping me alive."

 

 

Fenris' light grip on Anders' hand suddenly got tighter. His fingers gently curled around Anders' neck pressed more. The thought that Anders might not be here at all if not for this Karl. And still, he couldn't shake a gnawing jealousy.

He swallowed before he let the tension leave him. "I'm glad he was there for you. And... I'm glad you're still here."

He moved to sit a bit closer to Anders, hoping his presence was as comforting to Anders as the blond's was to him earlier. "Do you... wish to tell me more? What happened next?" Fenris hoped his eyes were encouraging Anders to keep talking. He didn't know if they would have an opportunity like this again.

_And who knows what will happen tomorrow..._

 

 

For a moment, Anders considered leaving it at that.

They had so little time left together, what good would it do to drag up all that old hurt, all those scars and mistakes? He just wanted to close his eyes, allow himself to sink into Fenris' touch, the warmth of his body, so close now, a comfort, an anchor keeping him steady...

  _Fenris_.

Fenris who had trusted him with his biggest secret, with years of pain and fear the scope of which Anders knew he couldn't even begin to comprehend.

"I'd only been away from home for two months but when I returned, everything felt different. _I_ felt different. I had no words to express it yet, but I resented my father for sending me away, for the look of horror on his face on my _birthday_. And he resented me for who I was. At first, he avoided me. Didn't look me in the eyes, never took me to work with him again, barely spoke to me. It hurt. I felt so alone, so lost... And as I got older, I began to rebel. I became 'difficult', an ungrateful brat that needed to be brought back to the light, to the children of the Maker."

He trailed off, leaning a bit more into Fenris' touch. "I used to look forward to summer break, but he found ways to make me dread every day I didn't have to go to school. He would lock me in the cellar for weeks, with nothing but a copy of the chant and my school books, to 'help me learn'. Well, joke's on him. I didn't use my pen and paper to copy the chant. I wrote letters to Karl. I had to hide them from him, only got to send them weeks later, but they helped me make it through."

There was something going on with his mouth, a brittle, uncertain movement that may have looked something like a smile. "My mother kept bringing me more paper. She didn't know what I was doing with it, but she noticed it disappearing, and she didn't want _him_ to notice it too. She was under his thumb but... she tried. Cooked my favourite meals all summer. Sneaked in other books when she could.”

 

 

"She sounds like a good woman. I can see where you got your big heart from," Fenris said with a tight-lipped smile.

 "He locked you in the cellar? Anders that's... that's awful. I'm beginning to understand why you ran at the first chance you got. I'm glad you did."

 

 

Anders shrugged, feigning a nonchalance he didn't feel. "Not according to him. I had a bed and a bathroom, the chant and my studies, and I was given enough to eat - a virtuous man wouldn't feel the need for more. He was the worst kind of bigot: entirely convinced he was doing the right thing. But he tried to be lenient with his wayward son. Although he believed in the power of the cane, he only used corporal punishment when it was _absolutely_ necessary. He's nice like that."

He swallowed, softly shaking his head against the gentle hold of Fenris' hand as if that were enough to banish 20 years of bitterness. "I wasn't the son he wanted, I was made aware of that every second of every day. And when I realised I was bi... I knew I was not the son he wanted in _every_ way. I kept it from him, hid it away from both of them. Until the day before my graduation. I told him, showed him who I was in one final test. He failed. And I left."

 

 

Fenris grit his teeth imagining how Anders' father may have failed the test. The mental image of a young Anders with a black eye and as bruised lip made him feel rage he never even felt towards Danarius.

"Good riddance then..." Fenris grit out. "I am so glad you got out of there. There is nothing wrong with you Anders, you never deserved that." The feelings of fierce protectiveness came over him and he wrapped his arms around Anders, holding him tight to his chest as he placed a kiss on his neck.

 

 

Anders let himself sink against Fenris, into a hug that was so tight and yet so tender it only made more tears spill. He wasn't sure why; he had talked about this before. Usually, he managed to shrug and fake-laugh his way through but there was no bluffing now, every word cut right to the bone.

He closed his eyes, letting himself be held, breathing in Fenris' scent. There'd be more questions, but at least for a moment, he could allow himself to be held, to be protected.

_Even if it won't last._

 

 

Fenris all but pulled the taller man into his lap as he held him, arms wrapped almost possessively, as if he could shield Anders from the wrongs done to him.

He kissed the man's hair. Hearing Anders cry cut him to the core. He remembered a song their nanny used to sing to them when they were children and scraped a knee or cut a finger. He softly sang it under his breath, holding and gently rocking Anders.

 

 

Fenris was there, he was close and had Anders not known about his aversion to touch, he would never have guessed it from the way Fenris pulled him against his body, kissed his hair, caressed his back and sang to him.

A song Anders had never heard before, but the intent behind it, the gentle melody and the tight hold keeping him safe... For a moment there, he was a child again, in his mother's arms after a nightmare, knowing even through the pain that it was alright; he would be protected; no matter what had happened, no harm could come to him now.

 

 

Fenris held Anders, gently rocking him and softly singing, until his sobs turned softer and he quieted in his arms. Fenris realised a few things almost at the same time.

He was holding Anders, kissing his hair, but not because they had to keep up appearances - purely because he wanted to. It felt good. So good. Intoxicating.

His heart started beating a little faster as the intimacy of the moment became more evident. Like lovers, holding and caressing gently.

_I want to kiss him... Know what it is to kiss Anders without an audience, without restraint or push._

His heart was positively pounding when he slowly leaned back and relaxed his hold enough for Anders to look up. Those beautiful big brown eyes, bare but so soft and accepting.

"Kiss me..." He whispered so softly he didn't even know if it could be heard.

 

 

_Kiss me._

It had been little more than a whisper, yet there was no mistaking the words. Nor the look in Fenris' eyes. They were focused entirely on his, wide open and vulnerable and clear. There was no need to ask if Fenris was sure.

Anders slowly reached up a hand to cup Fenris' jaw, stroked his thumb across his cheek, all the way to his bottom lip, tracing it with a ghosting touch as he leaned in and closed the distance between them.

_I hope I don't taste like tears._

The thought flashed through his mind, and then it was gone; his lips closed over Fenris' and everything inside and around him seemed to dissolve.

 

 

Fenris' breath hitched as their lips met. A part of his mind didn't even register he said the words out loud. But Anders was kissing him.... just kissing.

Not for show, not for someone else, but because he wanted to.

_Wait... Did he want to?_

Anders was in a fragile place and he had previously said he would do anything for Fenris. Was he taking advantage of Anders?

_Oh Maker please no_

It took all his willpower to not close his eyes, to softly but firmly place his hands on Anders' shoulders and pull back just enough to study Anders' eyes.

"Anders... I- I need to know you want this as much as I do. Not because you feel you have to." He tried to be as clear as he could over his pounding heart and mind yelling at him for spoiling the moment, for not just kissing him. And _venhedis_ he wanted to kiss him…

 

 

Anders startled when Fenris pulled back, a jolt of panic running along his spine.

_I misunderstood, he wasn't sure at all, Maker, I hurt him, how could I be so stupid..._

When Fenris' words finally registered, the flood of relief washing over him was so great he just barely managed not to chuckle. One hand still cupping Fenris' cheek, he raised the other to his shoulder and lay it over Fenris'.

"I want it. As much as you do, if not more." He smiled up at him. "I thought I made that clear when I gave you your money back, but let me say it again: I like you, I'm attracted to you. I won't touch you or kiss you unless you explicitly give your permission, but if _you_ want to touch or kiss me, rest assured you have mine."

 

 

Fenris didn't hold back. He surged forward and captured Anders' lips, his eyes closing as he pressed into the kiss.

Anders wanted him. Really wanted him. And he wanted Anders.

_If only it were really that simple..._

He forced all other thought aside as he let one hand cup the back of Anders' head, the other snaking around his waist to keep him close as their lips moved together. It felt _so right_.

As a young boy reading romance stories in the garden where no one could find him, he always fantasized about kissing a pretty girl amongst the roses. He'd forgotten about that dream till now. And he couldn't have imagined someone better. A low sound between a moan and a growl, part pleasure part hunger, escaped him.

 

 

Anders' gasped at the ferocity of the movement, the sound swallowed by Fenris' lips as he kissed him with a hunger Anders hadn't expected. But it felt good, so, so good, and he wanted _more_.

More of this moment, this kiss, of _Fenris_. Fenris who pulled him in tightly, his strength, the touch of possessiveness in his hold going straight to places of Anders' body that had not been invited to this particular party.

_Control yourself, keep your thoughts together, Andraste's overgrown child you're in your freaking thirties._

It was a struggle to keep his thoughts at least somewhat clear, and it wasn't made easier by the sounds Fenris was making. Low, guttural, full of need and hunger, they set Anders' head spinning, his body on fire. He focused what little clarity he had left on keeping his hands and tongue firmly where they were, giving Fenris the freedom to pull back if he needed to and letting him take the lead.

_Don't stop. Maker, don't stop. Kiss me, touch me, I need you, I need more, please, don't let go._

 

 

Fenris could feel the need in Anders, could taste it on his lips. He pulled back just enough for their breaths to mingle as he whispered against breathless lips, "stop holding back."

He went right back in for the kiss, his tongue darting past his lips to taste Anders' before retreating. Their lips were dancing together, a dance that seemed more natural and in sync than he had any recollection of having with anyone else.

_Not even Hawke came close to this._

He wound his arm tighter around Anders' lower back and with one swift motion pulled the man onto his lap that he could wrap both arms around his trim waist while he kept him close.

 

 

Fenris' breathless, whispered "stop holding back" was simultaneously the most arousing and the most frustrating thing Anders had ever heard.

_Honey, if I stopped holding back I'd sink to my knees and suck you off right here and now, so nope, not an option_

But as Fenris pulled him into his lap, he decided he could at least allow himself to fully sink into the kiss, to let his tongue court Fenris', to explore every part of his mouth, wrap his arms around him and just give himself over to his taste, to the warmth of his lips and the strength of his arms.

He realised faintly that his hips had begun to move of their own accord, grinding against Fenris, seeking friction, desperately trying to get closer, and try as he might to stop, all he managed was to slow down a little.

 

 

When Anders started slowly grinding against him on his lap, his tongue slipping past his lips to tangle with his own, Fenris felt a part of himself he had pushed down a long time ago stir in earnest.

_Real, hot, passionate, desire._

He moaned low and rough as he wrapped his arms around Anders tight and ground his hips up, knowing that his growing arousal would be evident to the man. He didn't try to hide it. Even though a part of him was still terrified, a bigger part of him wanted desperately to move past old fears and reclaim what was taken from him

 

 

A gasp, a moan, a whine, Anders couldn't have named the sound that escaped him as Fenris' hips began to move in tune with his, grinding against him as though answering his call. Fenris' arms tightened their hold on him, pulling him closer. He could feel the heat of Fenris' body through his clothes as he ground up against him, pressing their hips together, could feel that he was not only hot but _hard_ , heard himself whimper with need as all thoughts of slowing down went out the window.

 

 

Fenris deepened the kiss, his tongue delving possessively into the man's mouth. He wanted Anders, wanted to possess him... A heat low in his gut drove him, his mind fuzzy and floating. Maker, Anders was like a drug he couldn't get enough of. Anders' shirt came untucked with Fenris' manhandling.

Fenris let his hand slip under to roam up the man's back, feeling every muscle twitch and strain, before dragging his nails back down over the soft skin. He broke the kiss when the need for air overwhelmed him. Keeping his eyes closed he pressed his forehead against Anders', his nose brushing intimately against the man's.

"Kaffas Anders... I- I didn't know it could feel this good..." he whispered breathlessly, his voice rough.

 

 

It took Anders a few seconds to catch his breath, to gather enough air and clarity to speak. He let his forehead rest against Fenris', leaning into the touch.

"Maker, you really know how to take a man's breath away," he murmured, smiling beneath half-lidded eyes. He pulled back, just an inch or two, to softly nibble on his bottom lip, then leaned back in and rubbed his nose against Fenris'.

His body still felt like it was on fire. He was painfully hard and aching for more, for the hands on his back to start moving again, for Fenris to grab him, kiss him, devour him, but he willed himself to close his eyes and just hold him in his arms.

 

 

Fenris felt like he was floating, the feeling both foreign and like coming home. With dazed, dreamy eyes he looked up into Anders'. Breathless and in wonder he spoke softly as his arms and hands held onto Anders, feeling the warm skin, the _realness_.

"I... I like you too Anders. A lot more than I probably should." He leaned back in to nuzzle his face in Anders' neck, pressing the man's body against his. He felt like a man who only now realised he was dying of thirst, and Anders... Anders was an oasis

 

 

Anders wrapped his arms a little more tightly around Fenris. He needed to be closer; there was no space left between them yet it still wasn't enough. He could feel Fenris' nose pressing into his neck, his hot breath fanning over his skin.

"Regardless of whether you should, I am glad you do," he murmured as he bent his head to press a kiss onto his hair. And another one, burying his nose in it as his hands stroked up and down Fenris' back in slow, gentle movements and he internally cursed Fenris' decision to wear both a shirt _and_ a vest. There was way too much fabric between his aching fingers and the skin they longed to touch.

 

 

Fenris was melting into the warmth and comfort of the body on and around him, the gentle touch over his back. So much so that he didn't even register a low rhythmic rumbling coming from his chest till a purr slipped out. He immediately sat up and slapped a hand over his mouth, his expression one of shock and disgust.

Although rare, some elves still carried the gene that allowed them to purr. It was, however, beaten out of him as a child by their nanny. His mother also harshly reprimanded him for it.

_Purring is primitive and repulsive. No young gentleman should ever 'purr'. We are not animals!_

Fenris politely but very quickly put Anders back on the bench before jumping to his feet. He knew his face and ears were beet red in embarrassment.

_What must he think of me... this animal who purrs and grinds against him after just kissing..._

"Guests probably started arriving... we, err, should probably ..." Fenris just gestured towards the house, still blushing to the tips of his ears and not making eye contact.

 

 

Anders blinked in confusion as the surface beneath his ass suddenly went from hot elf lap to cold stone bench. Fenris was already on his feet, visibly flustered and not quite meeting his eyes.

  _Well, that was abrupt..._

He probably shouldn't be too surprised. It had to be quite a lot to take in; no wonder Fenris was overwhelmed. Strange how he seemed to have felt so comfortable just seconds before, though. He'd even started to purr a little. But if he needed a break and a little space... well, it was a bit disappointing, but more than understandable.

He got up, keeping some distance between them but giving Fenris a warm smile. "It's probably time to meet the others, yes. Pity, just as we were starting to get comfortable. Too bad we can't just sneak off and spend our time snuggled up in bed, I could listen to you purr all day... But you're right, we have important matters to attend to so," he bowed a little and gestured to Fenris to get going, "lead the way, darling."

 

 

When Anders said he could listen to him purr all day he couldn't believe his pointy ears.

Surely Anders was kidding. But no, there was no teasing in his tone. In fact, he looked rather disappointed. Fenris moved to offer Anders his arm, but at the last moment changed his mind and took his hand instead.

_He likes my purr... he wants to snuggle in bed with me..._

As they reached the end of the gardens Fenris felt himself puff with pride. He had a beautiful, sweet, smart man who liked him, all the parts of him, even the ones he didn't like himself. Fenris cleared his throat.

"You... you really don't mind that I purr?" He asked, looking out over the spread on the lawn. Tents and couches and waiters and drinks and flowers in excess. He could see some cars pulling up and staff collecting coats and keys in the distance.

 

 

Anders turned to blink at Fenris in confusion. "No? Of course not." The walk back to the house had been lovely, of a peaceful quiet, and Fenris was holding his hand, which Anders took to mean he hadn't spooked him so much he was upset. So far, so good, but this was genuinely puzzling.

"Why in the Maker's name would I mind that?"

 

 

Fenris wanted to duck his head, wanted to look away and mumble, but he relied on the confidence Anders had given him.

"Because it's... animalistic. I know there are some who find it... erotic... But most people are rather put off by it." He coughed awkwardly. "I can trace my elven bloodline back centuries. But having an elven pure bloodline has the ... implication that some ancestral elven traits still present itself in my family, whereas outside much of it is just rumour." Fenris mentally sighed as he watched his uncle Solas approach. Looking self-righteous as ever.

 

 

Anders frowned. "Now that is the most bullshit thing I've ever heard, and I hear a _lot_ of bullshit in my line of work. Purring isn't any more 'animalistic' than yawning or sneezing, and there's nothing _off-putting_ about it. You should be made to feel proud that you still have that connection to your ancestors, not ashamed. Why would anyone want to eradicate something so natural and beautiful?"

He could have, most likely _would_ have launched into a prolonged rant, but he trailed off when a bald, stiff man with the charisma of boiled cabbage stepped up to them.

_Time to meet the extended family, I guess._

 

 

Fenris smiled warmly at how passionate Anders got about defending this part of him he always felt ashamed about. He made a mental note to not hold back when they snuggled before bed tonight. And they _will_ snuggle tonight. He will lock his door and not care if the Maker himself comes knocking.

_Speaking of unwanted interruptions..._

"Solas. Good to see you," Fenris greeted with a slight bow of the head. "May I introduce Anders, my partner."

Solas wrinkled his nose at that, eyeing their joined hands like it was offending the entire elven pantheon. "A... human man, Fenris? Have you no elvhen pride? No respect and honour for your heritage? Why on earth wo-"

"Oh shut it Sol-ass!" A voice said before an elvhen girl jumped down from a nearby tree. "Just because you're the elfiest elf that ever elfed doesn't mean anyone else is wrong. I mean, humans are okay - no offence - but have you _seen_ Quanri chicks?! Woof..."

Fenris sighed. "Hello, Sera."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello naughty children its awkward family reunion party time


	14. In the Closet

_Friendly elves falling from the trees, now that's something._

Anders turned his attention to Sera, making a point of ignoring Solas - the pasty, shiny-headed twig hadn't bothered introducing himself to him, had ignored Fenris' telling him Anders' name in favour of talking over his head as though he weren't there, so why should he show him any more courtesy?

"You're a friend of Varania's, right, the one who," he turned to Fenris with a grin, "braved the maze of this house and got out alive? Nice to meet you. I'm Anders. And I agree, there are some fine looking Qunari ladies out there. For me, no one compares to this lovely man right here," he nodded his head in Fenris' direction, "but I applaud your taste."

 

 

Fenris felt an unjustified rush of jealousy when Anders agreed with Sera about Qunari women - surely that was something he couldn't compete with. He felt almost flattered by Anders' words till he remembered that they were acting again - this was essentially why he had invited Anders in the first place.

The polite smile slipped a bit from his face. "Solas, I do believe I saw Orinso over by the pool. He mentioned having questions about the fade."

Solas turned on his heel and marched off. Good riddance. "Sera, it is good to see you. I am glad you were able to come."

Sera turned from Anders who she was appraising with a smirk, to Fenris. She rolled her eyes. "Yeah yeah, whatev's snooty. You're too posh for me to talk to. Makes my throat close up like I ate bees again. Where's that hot sister of yours?"

 

 

Anders felt deeply sorry for Orsino, whoever he was. His encounter with Solas might have only lasted 30 seconds, but the verdict was already in: he hated that guy. Not quite as much as Sebastian, maybe, but enough to hope they wouldn't be forced to talk again.

Sera, on the other hand, he was quite fond of. Compared to some of the prim and stiff faces around them, she was like a fresh breeze... even if he had no idea what she was talking about.

_Bees...?_

He swallowed a chuckle at Fenris' stepped-in-the-poopy expression and pointed to a speck of bright red in the distance. "Isn't that her over there by the big tent?"

He didn't get an answer; Sera darted off as abruptly as she had appeared. Still smiling, he turned back to Fenris.

_Those are probably going to be our last few moments alone with each other until it's time to go to bed..._

"Let me tell you, I'm glad that one's on _our_ side. Even if she has no clue whatsoever when it comes to your family - _you_ are clearly the hot one."

 

 

Fenris couldn't help it. He tried to keep his sullen expression but the colour in his cheeks and the way he felt the corners of his mouth perk up gave him away. "Sweet talker," he mumbled and looked back up at Anders.

_Kaffas, he is beautiful when he smiles._

He leaned in and gave Anders a quick but soft kiss. "As long as you're on my side, I'll take on the world." He wondered if Anders knew how much he meant it.

The sound of something crashing, colourful Dalish curses and Sebastian apologizing profusely drew their attention. Keeping hold of Anders' hand, Fenris quickly walked towards the commotion to find Velanna with her forearm over Sebastian's throat as she had the human pressed against the wall muttering threats at him. "And if I find you so much as _look_ at my sister again, I shall feed you to my werewolves. Got it, Shem?"

"Y- y- yes mistress Velanna."

"Good. Now scurry along." Velanna scowled at the man rushing off into the house. "Fenris, can you believe this Shem swiped right on my sister!! She's half his age! ...who the hell are you?" she asked Anders.

 

 

_Well, mark me down as scared and horny._

Watching Sebastian squirm as he was choked and yelled at by 5"2 of condensed rage had been _immensely_ satisfying. Having that rage turn on _him,_ however... Well... He instinctively held on a little more tightly to Fenris' hand.

"I'm Anders. I'm Fenris' boyfriend. Nice to meet you..." he trailed off weakly.

 

 

Velanna gave Anders an appraising look, lifting one judgemental eyebrow. "Well now. Didn't peg you as homosexual, cousin Fenris. For a shem... I suppose I see the appeal in this one."

Fenris laced their fingers together. Velanna was brash, but there was no one who would hate a human running the family more. She was also really good at rallying support.

"Vel, I need to speak with you about a rather urgent matter. Do you have a moment?"

She narrowed her eyes. "I do. It seems important. But I don't want the shem there. You might bed them, but I don't trust spoon ears."

Fenris growled a little under his breath, now was not the time to pick a fight with her, he needed her on their side. "Anders, dear, this will only be a moment. I apologize."

 

 

Anders channelled all his willpower into keeping a neutral expression. It wasn't easy.

_Spoon ears... well, at least that's a good one._

He had a feeling it was best not to annoy that particular family member any more than necessary. Ideally, not at all. "Of course, love, this is a family matter, take as much time as you need. I'll go see if Varania or your mother need help with anything, find me when you're done."

He gave a slight bow in Velanna's direction, then wandered off to where he had earlier seen Varania's hair peek out of the crowd. Much to his chagrin, she wasn't in the same spot, and Fenris' mother wasn't anywhere to be seen either. He strolled aimlessly across the grounds, keeping an eye out for a familiar face and occasionally pulling out his phone to appear busy. He was used to making small talk with strangers; it came with the job, but if it could be avoided, he'd rather not accidentally offend (or befriend) the wrong family members. He just hoped Fenris wouldn't take too long.

_Just where the hell did everyone disappear to? Are they all sitting in the trees now?_

 

 

"Ola beautiful..." a voice said from behind Anders. "My name is Zevran. And you must be... terribly lost. Am I correct in saying you are not very comfortable right now, si?" Zevran snatched two mojitos off the serving tray of a passing servant and offered one to Anders, his grin predatory but inviting.

 

 

_Zevran... Zevran... Oh right, the flirtatious cousin. Oh well, Fenris said we would get along..._

An assessment that had most likely been correct. The way the man handled himself, Anders could easily imagine him strutting around in the Rose. He'd fit in perfectly, be it as a client... or an employee.

Anders took the offered drink and returned the grin. "Pleasure to meet you Zevran." He put the tiniest bit of emphasis on _pleasure_ , just a hint of flirtation, small enough to keep it playful. _Harmless._

"I'm Anders, and you're not wrong, this is indeed not quite my natural habitat. But I'm more of a parked car than a lost vehicle. My... driver... should return any minute."

 

 

Zevran's grin turned a little more sly. "No driver? Pity. A gorgeous ride such as yourself shouldn't be left unattended... someone might have difficulty keeping their hands to themselves." Zevran stepped a little closer, close enough for Anders to smell his enticing cologne and the mint on his breath. “...or resist the temptation to take it for a spin." He winked seductively as he took a sip.

 

 

Anders took a little sip himself, smirking down at the man. Under different circumstances, he might have been tempted... nah, he _would_ have been tempted. But hot as he was, to Anders, Zevran was merely a flickering candle that had nothing on Fenris' raging fire.

"I'm afraid my spinning days are over. These days, only Fenris gets to ride this admittedly _sleek and powerful_ vehicle. Tempting to look at as I am, it's a one-driver-only policy. But," he winked, "I’m sure a driver of your style and capacity has no difficulty finding rides wherever he turns."

 

 

Zevran gave Anders an appraising look before moving to stand next to him, close enough for their shoulders to touch. Zevran casually looked out at the people moving about as he spoke, clear but soft enough for no one else to hear. "Well, now that is interesting. For you see, I have this friend who regulars at an establishment you might be familiar with. The Rose. And to my knowledge you are not only _not_ a one-driver ride, but... How would you say... would be more akin to a taxi."

He let his eyes trail back to Anders'. "No judgement though, mi Caro. I was raised in a brothel, your line of work is an admirable one in my eyes."

 

 

_Raised in a brothel?_

Fenris had mentioned something about Zevran being adopted, but to have been raised in a brothel...? Anders couldn't help wondering about the story behind that, but this was definitely not the time or place to ask about it.

_Hey, total stranger, care to tell me your life story?_

He gave the man a soft smile. "I appreciate your discretion, even if it is hardly necessary. Fenris' charming 'stepfather'," he didn't bother hiding the contempt in his voice, "wasted no time revealing my profession during last night's dinner. Turns out he has spies following Fenris. He'll probably waste just as little time to inform the rest of the family as well, if he hasn't already done so."

He shrugged, only partly feigning nonchalance. He wasn't ashamed of his job and if these people thought less of him for it... Well, they wouldn't be the first, and he'd survive, just like he always did.

"So to get back to our lovely analogy, yes, in my professional life, I am indeed a taxi. Pay your fare, and you get to ride me any way you please. But I am here for my _private_ life and in that, there is only one driver, and he gets all of me, not just the sticks and slots."

 

 

"You speak or Danarius? Urgh.. he is like that dog shit you stepped in even though there are no dogs around. Inconvenient and it just spoils everyone's day. And your best Antivan leather boots."

He made a face then took a deep drink, moving to stand before Anders again. That lusty twinkle still in his eye. "So... you and my Fenris? I find it hard to believe as that boy has always run so fast so far from anything related to the... more sensual things in life. Or can I assume when I'm in Kirkwall again I might stop by the Rose myself?" He winked at Anders. "Because there's a treat I have my eye on, and if he's on the menu then I am willing to pay five times his normal rate to get a bite..."

 

 

 _My_ _Fenris?_

Anders was surprised to feel more than a little sting of jealousy at the use of the possessive.

_You have no business being jealous, he isn't and never will be yours. Stop acting like a creep just because you happen to have a little crush on him. That's not what he signed up for._

He pushed the feeling firmly back down and turned his attention back to Zevran, smirking as he said, "I'd say you'd never be able to afford five times my rate - I am a _classic_ ride, you see, highly sought after - but _something,_ " he turned his head from the house to the gardens, back to the house and then back to Zevran, "tells me you would be. And while I won't deny that it's a tempting offer to have a treat like _you_ pay for the pleasure of having him jump on for a ride, I'm afraid close friends and family are off limits. Though Fenris is more open to the sensual aspects of life than you may think, I have a feeling he would not be open to _that,_ and I'd never do anything to hurt him. But if you'd like recommendations for other exciting rides in the establishment, I'll gladly help you out.”

 

 

Zevran's smirk morphed into a full smile as his gaze shifted over Anders' shoulder. "It seems you are correct, Varania dear. This one seems rather taken with your dear brother."

"I knew it!" Varania squealed and burst out from behind the bushes, Sera in tow. "You do love him!! Oh, that's so wonderful!" Varania turned a smug look at Sera and opened her palm. "Pay up bitch! I _told you_ it was real! I saw the way my brother looked at him."

 

 

_Not the trees then, the bushes. Close enough._

Anders chuckled at Varania's smug grin and Sera's muttered grousing. "Looking out for your brother, I see?" He gave her a warm smile and just about resisted the urge to ruffle her hair. "He's lucky to have you. And," he turned to Zevran with a smirk, "I suppose I should be grateful she didn't recruit Solas for this mission."

 

 

Zevran shrugged casually. "I may have volunteered. A delicious man like you walking about? Zevran is sure to pay attention. Now if you'll excuse me..."

Sera was still fishing out change from her pocket for a giddy Sera, so they didn't notice when Zevran brushed past Anders, slipping a card into his palm as he whispered. "If you change your mind, or have a few minutes free during the day. It'll be unforgettable, I assure you." He brushed his hip _just so_ over Anders' crotch as he turned to walk away, his breath hot on Anders' neck. Just as he sauntered off, Fenris returned. His smile at seeing Anders quickly morphing into something darker, then more guarded as he watched Zevran walk off.

"I... see you met Zevran." Fenris' eye caught a small movement in Anders' hand and saw the slip of paper Zevran left behind.

_Already scouting out for new business?_

 

 

Anders grinned. "Yes, he's quite the character. And _persistent_ too, I had to turn him down three times in less than five minutes. That has to be a new record. And," he held out the piece of paper in his palm to Fenris, "he still slipped me his card in case I 'changed my mind'."

He shook his head, chuckling softly. "I'd admire his confidence, but as word of my profession had already reached him, he's just one of many who think that makes me a sure thing. Your sister seems to have quite enjoyed the show though," he said with a wink at Varania, deciding to omit the insignificant little detail that she had _arranged_ for said show. "It's good to have you back. How did things go with Velanna?"

 

 

Fenris narrowed his eyes at the card and snatched it from Anders' hand. Without sparing a second glance at the giggling girls or his slutty cousin, he took Anders' hand and pulled him towards the nearest patio entrance into the house.

His heart was racing with too many conflicting emotions, all of them overwhelmingly strong. The way Zevran had brushed against him, the audacity of propositioning his...

That was the problem... Anders wasn't his anything. And that wasn't an anguish he wanted to take any longer. He stormed into the house, took two quick lefts and opened a linen closet, quickly pushing Anders inside before closing the door behind them. Then he was on Anders - all tongue and teeth and desperation, hoping his actions and body would say what he couldn't.

 

 

Anders had been too stunned to protest when Fenris suddenly grabbed him and physically dragged him back into the house. As he heard Varania and Sera giggle ecstatically behind his back, all he managed was a weak, "Fenris... Fenris what..."

He had even fewer words at being shoved into a freaking _closet_ \- but it turned out _words_ weren't what was needed. In a flash, Fenris had him up against the shelf and was on him, kissing him with a fervour bordering on violent, desperate and unshackled in a way that wasn't anything like the kisses they'd shared before.

He was crowding into Anders' space, grinding against him, _claiming_ him; it felt so good it sent Anders’ head spinning. Every flick of Fenris' tongue, each thrust of his hips seemed to scream _MINE_ and Anders wanted nothing more than to shout:

_Yes, I am yours you thick headed fool, only yours, so fucking take me already._

But he didn't have enough breath for it, and Fenris’ tongue was still busy claiming his mouth, so he just wrapped his arms around Fenris' body and held on for dear life.

 

 

Fenris ground his hips against Anders, his whole body moving against the human. He gave Anders one more ravaging kiss before tilting his head so that his hot mouth could latch onto Anders' neck. He bit into the soft skin below Anders' ear, not hard enough to break the skin but hard enough to leave a mark.

_Mine! No more strangers, no more people who don't deserve you - don't appreciate you._

He thrust up against Anders hard enough to bruise as his one hand moved down to grip Anders' tight ass and pull it against him. "Say stop... and I will..." he said breathlessly with a lick over Anders' ear.

He wanted Anders, all of him, but he would settle for this - for what was allowed. He had so much taken from him because of this family - Anders, the one person he had ever felt this desire, the connection for - Anders would not be one of those casualties...

 

 

Anders moaned as Fenris sank his teeth into his neck, as he thrust against him with purpose, his hands on Anders' ass staking yet another claim.

"Don't... don't stop... Please don't stop," he stammered breathlessly, “I... I want you so much. Whatever you want, in whatever way you want it, I am all yours." His word trailed off in a helpless whimper, his hips desperately bucking against Fenris'.

 

 

_I am all yours_

Those were the words that broke his resolve. Fenris returned to kissing Anders with desperate passion as his hands fumbled with Anders' belt buckle until he was able to pop the button and pull the zip down. He was sure his heart was pounding loud enough to be heard.

"Its... it's been a... long, long time. But _kaffas_ I want you..." Trembling fingers reached slowly down Anders pants. He gasped when his fingers made contact with hot, hard flesh.

 

 

When Fenris' fingers brushed against his cock, Anders momentarily forgot how to breathe. What that simple touch was doing to him, what _Fenris_ was doing to him... He'd forgotten what it felt like to _really_ want someone. But now it all came back in a rush, knocking the air out of his lungs and leaving him clinging helplessly to Fenris.

"I want you too. Maker, I want you more than anything." His fingers fumbled with the hem of Fenris' shirt, clumsy and hesitant in the haze of his desire. He wanted to touch, to finally feel Fenris' skin beneath his hands, but he wasn't sure if he was allowed to, how Fenris felt about Anders touching _him_... And it wasn't exactly easy to clear your throat when you were lost in moans.

 

 

At Anders' pawing at his vest and shirt, and with how heavy the man started breathing, Fenris quickly moved his hands to unbutton his vest and shirt, opening them to the hungry hands reaching for him.

"Touch... all you want, wherever you want..." he whispered to Anders when he saw the hesitation still there. He dove back into a kiss, quickly making work of Anders' shirt too as he thrust his hips against the other man's, revelling in feeling the hardness there that matched - even rivalled - his own.

 

 

That was all the invitation Anders needed. He only caught a glimpse of Fenris' half-exposed chest before he pressed back up against him to claim his mouth in another kiss, but he let his hands slip underneath the fabric, finally, _finally_ feeling Fenris' skin beneath his fingers. Soft and heated over defined muscles. It wasn’t nearly enough but it was a start.

He grabbed on to his shoulders as Fenris’ thrust up against him, steadying himself to thrust back with more force than before. He could feel Fenris’ cock, pressing against his, seeking friction just as desperately as he was.

_Maker, seems he wasn’t just joking about the length._

He pulled back from the kiss to trail his tongue along Fenris’ jaw, his voice hoarse as he whispered into his ear, “See, that would be everywhere. I want to feel every inch of your skin against my fingers, my lips, there isn’t a single part of you I’m not aching to touch.”

 

 

Fenris gasped and threw his head back, angling his neck against that hot, sweet mouth.

_Kaffas, I want that..._

Words were escaping him, although some breathless Tevinter curses slipped out. As the last button popped open he braced both hands flat against the beautifully toned chest, letting them roam down over a deliciously flat stomach.

He groaned low. He wanted this. All of this. He didn't know how to act or what to ask. So he just followed his instincts.

He turned his head to kiss Anders over the bite mark, licking over it with the flat of his tongue. He let his lips and mouth trail hot kisses and licks over the smooth milky skin of Anders' neck and shoulder and chest.... his teeth scraping over a pert pink nipple. Fenris dropped to his knees as his mouth continued its exploration South.

 

 

Fenris' hands, his _mouth_ , were all over him, creating a path down his chest, reducing Anders to a moaning, breathless mess. His own hands roamed over Fenris' back, along his sides, making their way to his chest, but their movement was interrupted when Fenris suddenly dropped to his knees.

As Anders gasped in surprise, he couldn't reach further than Fenris shoulders. He stroked his hands along them, up his jaw, to caress his hair, bury his fingers in the soft strands. Fenris' lips were all over his stomach, and Anders was lost.

 

 

Fenris was nervous and excited all at once; too much blood flowing in the wrong direction didn't help either. His kisses and licks trailed down till they met the band of Anders' underwear. He tucked his slightly shaking fingers into the hem, then paused to look up at Anders. "Is this okay?" he asked, breathing heavily. He hoped in the dimly lit room Anders could also see the other questions in his eyes.

_Am I doing this wrong? Is this good for you? Do you want this as much as I do? What if I'm bad at this?_

 

 

Fenris' hands were on his underwear, just one simple motion away from pulling it down, his breath hot against Anders' skin. He was on his knees, so close, about to...

_‘Is this okay?’_

Under different circumstances, with a sight as arousing as this right before his eyes, that question would have made Anders chuckle.

_Is winning ten million bucks in the lottery "okay"?_

But Fenris was looking up at him as he spoke, his green eyes wide and vulnerable, full of questions and uncertainty, and it made Anders' heart ache even more than his body. He let his hand trail down to his cheek, stroking his fingers across it, his eyes locked on to Fenris as he said, slightly out of breath and rambling, "It's more than just ok. I want it, Maker's balls I want it so much - if you want it to. But if you do... Please... I meant what I said, I'm all yours, there's nothing you can do that wouldn't be ok, I want your touch in every way you want to give it... And if you want to stop, that's fine too, I don't want it if you don't enjoy it... But please don't ever think I don't want you, or your touch, you're perfect, you have no idea what you do to me..."

 

 

The sincerity in Anders' words bolstered him. It still took his breath how Anders' support and words could make him feel so much stronger than he was. He placed a soft kiss just below Anders' bellybutton over the fluffy trail of hair that led down. His fingers tucked into the fabric and pulled down.

Fenris felt his breath hitch. Anders was... well... the rumour of Anderfels men wasn't a rumour after all. Fenris brushed his nose up the hard, hot length, the skin like soft velvet and the smell all masculine and need. He let his tongue flick out to lick at the head before shooting another look up at Anders.

 

 

Anders felt a brief jolt of uncertainty at the hitch in Fenris' breath - was it shock, surprise, disgust, was it too much? - but then he felt Fenris' nose against his cock, its touch playful, determined, and he could breathe again. Seemed Fenris wasn't scared off by the sight after all. He was, however, quite the tease, taking his time to rub his nose all the way up his shaft, giving him just one, torturously blissful lick before angling his head back to look up at him. His hair a mess, kiss-swollen lips half-open and just inches away from his cock, huge green eyes looking up at him... Anders could have passed out from the sight alone, and he was still so hard, so full of need it was bordering on painful and Fenris was taking his sweet time.

"Please," he panted, not bothering with pride or pretense, " _please_... anything you want just... please... I need... I'm so turned on it's cruel, Fenris, please..."

 

 

Fenris smirked. "What do you need, Anders?" He whispered as licked over the swollen head of Anders' cock again, tasting the man with a pleased _"hmmmm"_. Fenris himself was painfully hard, straining against the zipper of his pants. He reached down one hand to quickly unbuckle and zip down, causing his underwear to bulge obscenely.

 

 

_That smirk has no right to be this sexy, not when he's teasing me like this, that smug, perfect bastard._

"You want me to say it, hmm?" He'd meant to say it with challenging, playful confidence but erupted into a graceless gasp halfway through when Fenris suddenly let his tongue flick over the head.

"Well, alright then..." he continued, panting. "I need _you_. I need your mouth around my cock, and I need it now. Do you want me to beg? Because at this point, you can have it, you can have anything, just please, let me be inside your mouth, Fenris, _please_."

Through the ragged stammer of his words, he faintly registered the sound of a zip being pulled down, which sent yet another jolt of arousal, well and truly painful now, straight to his cock.

_And Maker be my witness, I want to suck you off too._

 

 

Fenris decided the man had suffered enough. With a rumbling low chuckle, he wrapped his lips around that soft, swollen head, letting the flat of his tongue slowly move over and around It, familiarizing himself with every curve and rim. The sound that escaped Anders was like a jolt of adrenalin. He lifted his hands to grab onto Anders' ass, pulling him roughly to him as he swallowed Anders down with ease.

 _Like riding a bike_ he thought bitterly, only this is what he wanted - what he chose. He closed his eyes and focused on the heavy weight on his tongue, on the gentle salty taste, Anders' scent... And it was perfect.

 

 

For all his drawn-out teasing, Fenris wasted no time swallowing him down, not quite to the hilt but so _deep_ , his hands on Anders' ass manhandling him once again - _I could let that man pull, shove and flip me like a rag doll against any surface and into any position he likes for the rest of my life, and I'd never get tired of it_ \- and Anders was floating, struggling to remain on his feet.

Fenris mouth was all around him, hot and wet and perfect, and fuck, that tongue wasn't just talented with words. Wicked and utterly without mercy, it sent Anders' knees buckling, his hands shooting out to grab the shelves behind him. He didn't dare bury them in Fenris' hair. With his head swimming in a haze of lust, he wasn't sure he'd be able to resist the temptation to start pulling, to hold him in place and thrust himself deeper into his mouth. He wasn't even sure he'd _notice_ himself doing it.

So, he kept his hands firmly behind him as he started panting out incoherent moans of praise. "Yes... oh fuck... fuck yes...  _Fenris_... so... so good... yes...  _yes._ "

 

 

Urged on by Anders breathless praises, Fenris doubled his efforts. His own hips subconsciously thrusting against air as he sucked Anders' gloriously perfect cock.

 _Perfect width, perfect length, perfect..._  

A stray thought of what it might feel like inside of him spilled into his consciousness as Fenris let out a sound between a whine and a moan. Hollowing his cheeks and using his tongue he sucked, using his one hand to grip and stroke where his lips couldn't reach. His other hand fisted in the fabric of Anders' pants. It was so good, it felt so powerful giving Anders enough pleasure to make his knees buckle. Here in this dark room, it was just them- there was no family, no legacy, no Rose, no expectations...

Just Fenris and the man he wanted.

 

 

Fenris' head bobbing at an ever faster pace, his hand firm around the base, his _tongue_... Anders tried to keep his eyes open, to look down at his cock disappearing into that miracle of a mouth, warm and welcome and _willing_ , at Fenris pleasuring him because he wanted to, moaning around his cock, but it was a losing battle. Even when he managed to force them open, his head kept falling back against the shelf, every part of him a boneless, liquid mess of pleasure and _need_. He was just barely holding himself up; his entire being seemed to have poured itself into that one part of his body, that point of contact between them, and there was no holding back, nowhere to hide, just him and Fenris and he was gone, so far gone.

"Fenris... Fenris... I'm so close... if you keep this up... I'm not gonna... last much longer..."

 

 

Fenris pulled off just enough to whisper, "Let go... I have you.. " before taking Anders down again with a deep, rumbling moan. He could feel Anders' whole body tense and shiver in anticipation. He wanted Anders to let go, wanted the man to release into his mouth, then drop into his arms. He wanted to carry Anders to his bed and hold him. Then he wanted to do it all over again.

The unsuspecting ache in his chest of how unrealistically idealistic his thoughts had gotten took him by surprise. He tried to force the thought from his mind by sucking Anders with all his might until he felt the man shatter in his arms and the hot, salty taste hit his tongue.

 

 

He'd tried to warn Fenris, had expected him to pull off - which he had, but only to tell him he _wanted_ him, all of him. There was no holding back after this; there wouldn't have been even if Fenris _hadn't_ taken him yet a little bit deeper, a little bit faster.

_Maker, he's so good, how does he do it, what is he doing to me, why can't this last forever..._

Anders let go, his knees buckling even worse than before, almost sending him crashing to the floor as the tension finally snapped. His vision went dark, the world silent against the roaring in his ears, and he spilled himself into Fenris' mouth, felt him swallow around him, taking in every last drop.

When he came down from the high of his release far enough to open his eyes, he realised that his hands were no longer on the shelves but in Fenris' hair, twisting themselves into the soft strands, caressing the side of his face as Anders just stood there, spent and shaking, trying to catch his breath.

 

 

Anders didn't push him away once he was spent, didn't fix his own clothes and ignore him. He caressed his face and touched his hair. It shouldn't hurt as much as it did. Fenris surged up to his feet and wrapped the man in his arms, crushing him to his own heaving chest as he buried his face in Anders' neck. He wanted this. He wanted this so much he _ached_ for it. He didn't trust his voice as his throat felt thick with emotion. So he just held Anders, fiercely and possessively.

 

 

Something was up. Anders didn't know what _exactly_ it was, but with the way Fenris shot up, wrapped himself around him, his whole body shaking as he pressed his face into his neck like he wanted to hide away from the world forever, he had more than a rough idea just what kind of memories might have come back to haunt him. It made him sick to his stomach, filled him with an anger greater than anything he'd known he possessed. He wrapped his arms around him, stroked his hands up and down his back in slow, soothing motions, peppering his hair with kisses as he pressed their bodies together.

_I wish you were mine, I wish we could stay like this forever... But I WILL keep you safe. I will kill him before I ever let him hurt you again._

But all he actually said was Fenris' name. He whispered it against his hair, over and over while they held each other close.

 

 

Fenris was clinging to Anders like a child, feeling vulnerable and naked and safe. It was so foreign but so addictive. Slowly their breathing calmed, skin cooled and even the bulge in his pants gave way to the gravity of the emotion of the moment. Distantly he heard what sounded like his sister calling his name down the corridor. He had no idea how long they had disappeared for.

"I guess we should get back..." He mumbled against the skin of Anders' neck, making no move to remove himself, the length of his entire body pressed against Anders'.

 

 

"I guess we should," Anders murmured, "but I'm not ready to let go. Just one more minute... I can't bear to have you leave my arms just yet."

He pressed his nose into Fenris' hair, inhaling his scent. Fenris seemed just as reluctant to move, allowing him to keep his hold on him for just a little bit longer. Another call from outside, closer this time, and Anders pulled back with a sigh. He placed a finger beneath Fenris' chin, lifting his face up to kiss him, softly, tasting himself on his tongue. He knew the moment had passed, but he couldn't help feeling guilty that he hadn't been able to reciprocate. Fenris had given him so much, and Anders had barely even gotten to touch him.

_Selfish, short-sighted... you deserve so much more._

 

 

The kiss Anders planted on his lips was so tender a weaker man would have wept. Fenris rested his forehead against Anders, biting his lip.

"Anders, I-" _...want this. I want you. For more than just a weekend._

Even though Anders has told him he wanted him, showed him unwavering support and sincere affection, Fenris' old fears couldn't help but wonder if that would all change come tomorrow.

 _"Fenris! Stop shagging your shem boyfriend! We need you out here!"_   With a heavy sigh, Fenris stepped away and started fixing his clothes before helping Anders with his. He placed a last loving kiss on Anders' lips before whispering, "Thank you."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heuheuheuheuheuheu


	15. OldLadyButtPinch.jpg

Anders softly shook his head as he reached up to smooth Fenris' hair, trying to make it look a little less like ‘freshly fucked’.

"No, thank _you_. You have no idea what you just gave me, how you made me feel... It was amazing. I... just wish we'd had more time." He sucked on his bottom lip, giving Fenris a crooked smile "Here's to hoping you'll give me another chance tonight."

Having finished his efforts on Fenris' hair - nowhere near perfect but it would do -  he leaned in to place a fleeting kiss on his forehead, then nodded at the door.

"Ready to face them?"

 

 

_You have no idea what you just gave me... It was amazing. Tonight._

Fenris smiled, bright and open as he took Anders' hand. "Can't wait," he said. And he meant it. He felt like a giddy kid counting down the days till Christmas, only he was counting the minutes till he could be alone with Anders again. He popped his head out and saw that the hall was thankfully deserted.

He quickly pulled Anders out and closed the door. In the light, he could see how much more relaxed and happy Anders looked, and it made him feel incredible. He squeezed Anders' hand as they made their way back outside where the party was in full swing.

"Oh, Fenris! Hello! It's me, Merrill! Oh, I haven't seen you in like... two years and three months and... twelve days! Oh! And you brought a friend! Should we have brought friends? Oh, shoot.... should I go get one? Should he be a shem? …should he be a ‘he’?"

 

 

 _No family members waiting outside the door to jump in our faces the moment we open the door? Tsk, Varania, I expected better from you,_ Anders thought with a grin as they hurried down the corridor and back into the glaring sunlight of the gardens.

He was still grinning when they were suddenly approached by a pretty, fidgeting elf with Dalish markings. He couldn't stop; he knew he must look like a halla on elfroot and he couldn't even bring himself to care. His body felt warm and sated; Fenris was smiling at him, smiling with those lips that had been wrapped around his cock just minutes ago.

Fenris looked just as happy. Whatever dark thoughts had tormented him before seemed to have been banished for now, and he'd said he _couldn't wait_ for tonight. Meaning Anders might really get another chance to touch him, to taste him, make him feel as good as Fenris had made him feel.

He cut through Merrill's anxious ramblings with a bright smile. He'd never stop smiling, _take that world, you can't bring me down, not today_.

"Hi Merrill, I'm Anders. Don't worry, you weren't supposed to bring anyone. I'm more of an unpleasant surprised than a cherished guest," he winked at her,"but Fenris wants me here, and that's all that matters."

 

 

Fenris let go of Anders' hand to snake his arm around his waist and pull the man against him, all while smiling like a proud parent. "Hello Merrill, it is good to see you again. Anders is my partner, so you see, he is a bit of a special case."

"Oh, that's wonderful!" Merrill cheered. "Here I thought you would be ace forever! And look at you all smiles! It suits you Fenris."

Fenris was about to respond when Anders gave a loud yelp and jumped. He turned to see aunt Ella, his own late grandma's sister, snicker as she walked over to her two sisters who offered her high fives.

"What in the... pervy old hags!"

 

 

Anders shook his head in disbelief as he rubbed his smarting ass. "For an elderly lady, she has _strong_ fingers, I wouldn't be surprised if that left a mark. Hey," he called out to them, feigning outrage - he was still too giddy to truly care - "that's Fenris property, he's not going to be happy you're leaving marks on his turf. Don't make me send him over!"

He waggled both a finger and his eyebrows at them before he turned his attention back to Merrill and Fenris.

"Can you believe that? I mean, I know I've got a nice ass but they could have at least _asked_ nicely first."

 

 

Fenris grumbled and glared at the old ladies who were still laughing and celebrating.

Merrill was giggling up a storm next to them too. "Oh ,I like you, Anders! You fit right in, don't you? And you got aunt Ella to laugh so hard I think her false teeth came loose... oh my, she should fix that."

There was a clinking of glass and the party died down. On a podium stood their mother, welcoming everyone. "Please note that there will be an important stakeholders meeting at 6 in the boardroom. Now, everyone please enjoy yourselves. The dance floor is now open."

"Oh! Oh!" Merrill bounced. "Please dance with me! Fenris- Anders- either! Both! Oh please!"

Not being too keen on watching Merrill and Anders dance, Fenris gave Anders an apologetic look. But before he could take Merrill's arm, aunt Ella had once again sneaked up on them and snagged Anders around the waist. "This dance is mine!" She declared with a smile. She was short enough to fit under Anders' arm but somehow managed to snatch him and marched him to the dance floor.

 

 

Anders admitted defeat, letting himself be dragged off to the dancefloor by a tiny, wrinkled elf whose bronto-like strength belied her wispy frame. He twisted far enough in her grasp to shrug his shoulders at Fenris and call out, “If I don’t return, avenge my death! And Merrill, take care of him while I’m gone, will you? Don’t let him get away with just standing at the sidelines, if _I_ have to dance, so does he. I’m counting on you, we’re friends now, aren’t we?”

He threw her a wink as he turned back to his  ~~kidnapper~~ partner with a grin. “You don’t hesitate when it comes to getting what you want, do you? Gotta respect that. Although you _do_ owe me an ice pack for that bruise you gave me.”

As they began to dance, the hands on his waist not-so-subtle made their way towards his ass.

 

 

Merrill positively beamed at Anders when he said they were friends. "Oh please oh please Fenris!" Fenris sighed, but more for show than anything else. It warmed his heart to see how his family was taking to Anders. He stood up straight and held an arm to Merrill who squealed and dragged him to the dance floor after Anders and aunt Ella.

The music played and Fenris lead them in an easy foxtrot, Merrill focusing more on her footing than actually dancing, but Fenris didn't mind because his attention was stolen too. Anders, beautiful sweet Anders, had everyone's eye. He was smiling and laughing, humouring his old aunt who he hadn't seen this happy in years as he spun her around and kept adjusting her grip away from his ass with a playful scowl.

 

 

As Anders danced with Fenris'... aunt, probably, or something like it, twirling her across the dance floor and only permitting her the _occasional_ grope on his ass (he was in such a good mood, might as well hand out a few freebies), he kept sneaking glances at Fenris and Merrill.

They weren't exactly the most graceful couple on the dancefloor. Looking at the tense expression on her face, it was obvious that Merrill _could_ have been, had she not been so preoccupied with not making any mistakes, whereas Fenris' attention seemed elsewhere (on him, Anders realised with a strange little flutter in his chest). But even with their slightly stilted stumbling, there was no denying the fact that Fenris was... he was a force of nature.

Handsome, with the sort of innate poise and elegance you were either born with or could never hope to achieve, he would have stood out in any crowd. And as much as Anders tried to keep his attention on his dance partner - who turned out to be quite charming, actually, even if every second comment was a thinly veiled innuendo - he couldn't help his eyes straying to find Fenris among the other dancers every few seconds. He was determined to snatch him up for the next dance but it took him three songs to break free of his captor and when he finally did, the next lewd aunt immediately pounced on him, firmly declaring it was now her turn, and he was once again left to stare longingly from afar.

 

 

Fenris couldn't help but laugh at the helpless expression Anders had to quickly shake into polite acceptance when one of his other aunts claimed the next dance. They were positively prowling around the pretty blond human who had every eye in the room. Fenris couldn't blame them. As the song neared its end, Fenris fixed his vest and walked determinedly over to the couple.

"May I cut in?" He asked with a slight bow. She first looked like she might want to put a hex on him - which, judging by their magical bloodline she just might- but then smiled and stepped back.

"Of course, dearies. My hip was starting to act up anyway." She gave Anders one last pinch on the butt and a wink and sauntered off.

"Finally," Fenris smirked as took her spot, placing one hand on Anders' waist, the other taking the blond's. "It's my turn."

 

 

“Oh thank the Maker, finally. Don’t leave me alone again!” Anders said, gripping Fenris’ hand a little more tightly than he’d meant to. “I’m serious, it’s like you’re descended from a family of octopuses. My ass is _on fire_  and,” he winked at Fenris, “not in the way I was hoping for.”

The music resumed and he let Fenris lead him across the dancefloor with assertive, graceful steps.

_Maker, he’s beautiful._

And he was. Hair gleaming in the sun, eyes sparkling and trained on Anders' face, his body lean and toned and so close it was hard to resist the temptation to just press himself against it, ignore the music and the rhythm of the other dancers around them in favour of kissing him senseless.

 

 

Fenris' smirk widened.

_Not in the way I was hoping for._

"Oh?" He said innocently. "And in what way had you been hoping your behind would be ignited?" He spun Anders around and pulled him closer than before.

 

 

Anders grinned down at Fenris, canting his hips up so his crotch brushed up against Fenris' _just so_.

"I had been hoping a fiery, handsome elf might be convinced to use his _mighty_ torch to leave a few... sparks in there. Although my ass and other assorted body parts are open to other approaches as well, as long as they involve that _one_ particular elf. He's quite special to me, you see, and he kept teasing me about challenging _lengths_. Would be a shame if the only attention my ass gets today ended up coming from elderly care after all, wouldn't it ?"

 

 

Fenris had to look away for a moment as he cleared his throat.

_Two can play that game, Anders..._

Fenris knew the stiff cotton of his pants could hide the very bodily reaction he was getting from Anders better than the softer synthetic material of Anders'. He pulled Anders closer so that his lips barely reached the man's ear. He focused on keeping his expression and body posture casual.

"Now that would be a shame. I would think said particular elf might be very much inclined to ... see if the sheath would fit. It's a mighty sword as well as a torch, you see. Flaming hot. But are you sure you're up to it? Not scared to get burned?"

On _burned_ Fenris quickly spun Anders around and dipped him, placing a quick kiss on his adam's apple before lifting him back up into his arms.

 

 

_Oh oh. Boner alert. I wonder if his aunts are going to grab that too..._

Anders tried to keep his expression calm, which wasn't easy knowing that his pants were doing their best impression of a tent, and gave Fenris an innocent smile. "Oh, don't worry, I love playing with fire. In fact, I always dreamt of being a fire-eater as a kid.... and a sword-swallower too. So that blade of yours should be more than welcome, no matter where you want to... sheath it ..."

 

 

"Hmm," Fenris said. "I am not so sure I'm convinced. You see, dear Anders, as a doctor you might be familiar with a very rare phenomenon amongst male elven anatomy... And as you know, I am a pretty _full blood elf._ " Fenris lifted an eyebrow to Anders, wondering if he would figure out what he was referring to. "I don't doubt you'd be up for the challenge, but a beautiful delicate human shouldn't be harmed... pushed beyond his means."

 

 

"Oh yes, as a doctor, I am indeed familiar with all the finer details of anatomy."

_And as an escort too, but let's not dwell on that, shall we._

"No need to worry about my delicate frame. I was actually hoping to see that full blood elf...  _full of blood_."

He used the momentum of a spin to pull Fenris close and let his tongue briefly flick out over the tip of his ear.

 

 

Fenris' whole body shuddered at that. His ears had always been very sensitive, but with how irresistible Anders was being he could already feel his zipper cut into his swelling cock. He tugged Anders bodily against him, his breath ghosting over Anders' neck as he spoke in a low, calm voice - soft enough for only Anders to hear.

"If that is what you desire, I will not keep it from you. I will take you, mind and body, delve into you with an elven knot thicker than you have ever seen - because that is what you do to me, Anders."

His breathing was a little harsher but he kept his voice level. "You drive me insane just watching you. You are too beautiful, too kind, too sweet... And I want to devour you. Your taste still on my lips is just enough for me to want more..."

 

 

That was it, aroused as he was now his erection would be visible all the way from the house once Fenris let him go; there was a good chance it might just rip straight through his pants at this point.

Anders kept his body pressed against Fenris - dimly wondering if anyone around them still bought that they were just "dancing" but deciding he didn't care - angling his head so that he could speak directly into his ear.

"And my lips are still desperately aching to finally get a taste of _you_. You think you're being driven insane? What do you think it does to me to have you, handsome, strong, smart and elegant with one of the kindest souls I have ever met, right in front of me, so _close,_  and not being able to touch that gorgeous body you've only allowed me a glimpse of?"

He leaned in a bit closer, letting his breath fan over Fenris' ear as his tongue dove inside for just a second. "If you'd ask, I'd drop to my knees right in the middle of this dance floor and swallow you down, knot and all. So when it comes to you taking me as hard and deep as you please..." He pulled back and looked down at Fenris with his most innocent smile. "Yep, I think I might be ok with that."

 

 

Fenris just stared up at Anders as the song died and people turned to the band to clap. His lips parted and his pants straining as he stood speechless... then started to giggle.

_Giggle!_

Giggling turned to chuckling turned to laughing so hard his stomach hurt and he had to lean his head against Anders. "I- I-... I apologise... I'm not- laughing _at you_... I'm just...." He started laughing again so much his eyes watered. He was having fun. So much fun. Anders was sharp and witty and he had absolutely met his match in the man.

"Okay... okay..." he said as he finally caught his breath, not caring for the curious looks they were getting. "You win, Anders. I submit." He grinned up at the man, eyes twinkling in mirth. "I hope you appreciate it. Because I'm not the submissive type. Quite on the contrary..."

 

 

Anders should probably have been offended that Fenris' reaction to his dirty talk was bursting into a violent fit of giggles but all he felt was an odd sense of satisfaction. He'd never seen Fenris so unshackled, so _free,_ as in this moment and watching his stoic facade slowly peel away, getting more and more glimpses at the witty, charming, carefree man underneath... Honestly, it was almost better than thinking of his naked body entwined with his. Almost. It was more of a tie. He bent down and placed a fluttering kiss on the tip of Fenris' nose.

"Ah, the taste of victory. Not quite as delicious as the taste of _you_ , I bet, but I'll take what I can get. And see, I'm the versatile type, so you'll never have to submit." He winked. "Unless you want to." He leaned in for another kiss, this time on Fenris' forehead, and murmured, "And there's no sweeter sound than hearing you laugh."

 

 

Fenris bit his bottom lip to keep from laughing more as he smiled up at Anders, taking in those beautiful big brown eyes that could be so guarded but were now so soft. His thoughts were interrupted by gagging noises. He turned to see Sera pretend to throw up while his sister grinned at them. "I am _so_ going to cry at your wedding!"

Fenris almost let himself get pulled into the fantasy of imagining himself standing before this beautiful man... almost.

_But reality was a cruel mistress._

"Anyway poofters," Sera interjected. "We're gonna go take a swim in the pool before your big family ' important people only' meeting. Wanna join? 2 sovereigns bet Var and I can best you two in a match."

Fenris turned to face Anders as he casually folded his arms behind his back. He lifted an eyebrow as he walked backwards towards the waiting girls. "You want to see me wet and heaving? Here's your chance..."

 


	16. A Quick Pitstop

Anders hesitated for a moment. He would have preferred some more alone-time with Fenris, but with all the other guests around - not to mention the lewd granny squad lurking at the sidelines - the chances of that were probably slim to non-existent. At least Varania (and Sera too, he hoped) was fun to be around, especially compared to some of the other options. And yes, wet and heaving didn't sound bad either.

He followed Fenris with measured steps, raising a reprimanding eyebrow. "Darling, my ginormous erection was _just_ starting to disappear, are you sure you want it to make another appearance... in front of your sister?"

 

 

"Ohmyfuckingmaker!" Sera squirmed, throwing her hands up.

Fenris chuckled as he held out his hand to Anders. " You did that on purpose," he scolded. "We'll go get changed and meet you at the pool," he said to the girls who dashed off towards Varania's quarters too.

While they made their way to Fenris' rooms, Fenris tried to think of how long would be appropriate to make the girls wait for them.

_And how much they could do in that time..._

 

 

"Pointing out the very serious danger of seeing you wet and heaving and hearing your casual dirty talk? Yep, I did that on purpose," Anders nodded with a grin. "She _is_ your younger sister after all. And as much as she likes Qunari ladies, I don't think Sera would want to see that particular horn waving around either."

He playfully nudged Fenris' shoulder. "Don't blame me, you're the one keeping me hard 24/7."

As Fenris practically speed-walked them to his quarters - Anders still wouldn't have been able to find the way on his own - he wondered just how rude it would be to steal a few more minutes of time just for the two of them.

 

 

Fenris had barely dragged Anders into the room before he slammed the door shut and shoved the man bodily against it with a thud. He was immediately on him, kissing him with all the pent-up frustration. Between the desperate, hungry kisses he asked: "Did you- remember- swimming trunks-?"

 

 

Fenris was devouring his mouth so completely Anders could barely get a word out - not that he minded. Quite the opposite.

"Mmm, I'll never get tired of... you shoving me against hard... surfaces and...kissing me senseless." He tried for a smirk but Fenris immediately kissed it away. "And yes," he breathed out when Fenris had to briefly come up for air, "I did remember swimming trunks. You'll see, I'm very good at following instructions. Too bad your sister's gonna be there, though, I'd much rather have swapped them out for some of my more... delicate underwear."

 

 

Fenris growled, a low and lustful sound, as his hands travelled down Anders' back to the back of his thighs. In a swift movement he hedged Anders up around his waist, one arm holding his hips, the other his lower back, as he carried Anders to his bed where he promptly dropped the man.

"Maker you're gorgeous..." he spared a moment to appreciate the sight of the blond on his back on his bed, before moving to cover that body with his own. "We should... probably... get dressed then..." he said between kisses and licks down Anders' jaw and neck

 

 

_Andraste's blushing cheeks, how is he so STRONG._

Anders lay on his back, dizzy with the feeling of having just been lifted and carried around like he weighed nothing. Fenris' body against his, his mouth on Anders' neck, kissing and sucking its way down... Having him take the lead like this, it was... intoxicating.

"Yes, we probably should..." he said as he wrapped his arms around Fenris' back and his legs around his waist, pulling his body flush against his. "But the thing is, before we can get dressed, we first have to get... undressed..."

 

 

"Hmmm... my boyfriend is smart as well as beautiful..." Fenris murmured against his collarbone. He sat up, his hips heavily on Anders', and kept their gazes locked as he made quick work of his vest and shirt, tossing it to the side after he pulled it off. Nimble fingers reached down and undid Anders' shirt, his hands appreciating the skin revealed to him. He placed a soft kiss on Anders' chest.

"Perfect," he whispered.

 

 

"I guess it's a case of like attracts like then," Anders murmured. Distractedly so, as his attention was wholly captured by Fenris' chest, his stomach, finally bare and at his fingertips. He reached up his hands, tracing them along his collarbones, then ever so slowly downwards over the smooth, dark skin, sparing a moment to circle his nipples with his thumbs before he allowed his hands to resume their exploration. Fenris was all lean muscle and lurking strength, slender but strong, and Anders could only stare in admiration.

" _You_ are perfect. And I still want to kiss and lick every part of that gorgeous skin."

 

 

Being appreciated like that - not in a depraved sense that objectified him, but in true awe and wonder - was an incredible feeling. His breath hitched involuntarily at the tender touches, especially around his nipples.

"You have," he looked up at his clock on the wall, "seven minutes." He smirked down at the man. "I always wanted to play seven minutes in heaven..."

 

 

"Seven minutes, hmm? That's not nearly enough time to give that marvellous body the attention it deserves. But we might just be able to squeeze in a... prologue, a small taste of what is to come," Anders said with a grin right before he pulled Fenris down against his chest, raised his right leg and used the momentum to flip them over. Placing a hand on either side of Fenris' chest, he smirked down at him.

"It's a shame, really, here I was hoping for a chance to show my appreciation for _all_ of your body. Including," he shifted his weight to press his hips a little harder against Fenris', "what's hiding underneath those pants..."

He lowered his head to nibble along Fenris' jaw, his neck, slowly pushing his body downwards until his mouth was level with Fenris' chest.

 

 

Fenris groaned and thrust his hips up against Anders' stomach. "Kaffas, I want you...." As his third erection for the day strained against his pants, he feared he might come right there. "Yes- whatever you want, just... please."

 

 

Anders grinned against Fenris' chest, revelling in the feel of his hot, smooth skin against his lips.

"Oh, _I_ want everything, in any way I can have it."

He nudged his nose against one of Fenris' nipples, dragged the flat of his tongue across it and then circled it with the tip.

"But right now, the question is what _you_ want. Because whatever it is," he captured his nipple between his teeth applying gentle, _very_ gentle pressure as he smirked up at Fenris, "you will get it."

 

 

The imagine of Anders riding him flashed through his mind, causing his cock to jump. He wanted anything, everything, but most of all he wanted something... intimate.

"I... I want..." he bit his lip, trying to will the blush over his ears away. Why was this so hard... "I want to be naked with you. To be close."

 

 

Anders couldn't help but smile.

_I think of all the requests I've ever received, this is by far my favourite one._

He sat up, placing a trail of kisses from Fenris' chest to his chin that ended with a gentle brush of his lips against his. "I want that too," he whispered, "more than anything."

Anders leaned back to unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants and scrambled off Fenris' body - "I'll be right back". He kicked off his shoes and proceeded to pull down both his pants and boxers, shimmying out of them with little grace but at full speed. Finally, his socks came off too and he turned back to Fenris with a small smirk - "So, that's it... I hope I don't disappoint" - before setting to work on Fenris' shoes. He let his hands trail up the backs of his naked feet, up his still clothed leg. Brushing his knuckles against the inside of his thigh, he nudged the prominent bulge in his pants on his way up to his belt.

"May I?" he asked, buckle in hand.

 

 

Fenris swallowed thickly and nodded, not quite sure what he agreed to. He was staring at Anders. _All_ of Anders. Even after having had him in his mouth, he was still very pleasantly surprised at how thick he was, how well toned his body was.

_Kaffas I want to nuzzle into that trail of soft curly hair below his belly button._

He felt nervousness build in him, entirely unwelcome. A feeling of anxious anticipation, of fear of not being good enough or turned away in a vulnerable state. He tried to keep the tension from his body, but he knew Anders was smarter than that. He was a sensitive, sweet man.

 

 

Fenris nodded when Anders asked permission to undress him but the tension in his limbs, the nervousness with which he licked his lips, told a different story. Anders let go of his belt and moved up his body, tracing his fingers along his cheek before cupping it and gently tilting it to face him.

"What's wrong, Fenris?" He bent down to press a soft kiss on his lips and continued, their faces just inches apart, "If you changed your mind, if you'd rather not be naked after all, that's fine. Yes, I want to see all of you, _touch_ all of you, to make you feel good."  _To feel you come undone in my arms,_ his mind added helpfully, his breath hitching at the thought. He forced the image of a moaning, thrashing Fenris out of his mind and concentrated on the Fenris in front of him, on his tense body, the uncertainty in his eyes. "But not if you're not comfortable with it," he nuzzled his nose against his cheek and whispered, "there are other ways to enjoy ourselves, to be close. It's completely up to you."

 

 

"No, I want to. I want this. Please." His voice came out surprisingly steady. He couldn't bear the thought of Anders stopping now.

_Rejecting me._

Fenris took hold of Anders, fingers digging into his hair, and pulled him in for a bruising kiss.

 

 

"Can't claim I'm sad to hear that," Anders smiled when Fenris pulled back for air, his iron grip on Anders' hair loosening. "Let's get you out of these clothes then, shall we?"

He winked as he manoeuvered himself back down the bed until his face was level with Fenris' hips. Smiling up at him, he unbuckled his belt, unzipped his pants and made a show of pulling them off _slowly_ , dragging them down his thighs inch by inch and placing soft kisses on every newly exposed piece of skin. When they finally came off completely, he chucked them unceremoniously on the floor and turned his attention back to Fenris’ body.

“Beautiful,” he murmured as he nuzzled his face against his foot, licking up his calf to circle his knee with his tongue, trailing it along his thigh until it hit the fabric of his underpants. He ran his nose across them,  _just_ past the unmistakable outline of his straining cock - letting his breath fan out over it but not touching it - until he reached the waistband. He hooked his fingers into it, looked up one last time to see if Fenris was alright and, once he’d reassured himself he wasn’t in distress, pulled them down in one, quick motion. He didn’t look down as he pulled them over his feet and dumped them on the floor; his eyes were trained on Fenris, _all_ of Fenris, naked, spread out for him.

“Maker... you’re perfect.”

 

 

Fenris bit his lip and averted his gaze. His face and ears burning up.

  _Maker...you're Perfect._

Fenris slowly turned his head to look, expecting to see nothing but lust, but what he found was once again pure awe and wonder. Fenris let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and relaxed. His aching cock, however, was not so relaxed and jumped just enough to catch the eye.

 

 

“Looks like someone’s demanding attention,” Anders said, a smile in his voice as he pushed himself up over Fenris’ body. “And rightly so.”

He trailed his fingers along Fenris’ cock, involuntarily licking his lips. It was impossibly hard, and yet its skin felt soft against his fingers, warm and welcoming as it strained against his touch. And _Maker,_ that was quite some blade on such a slight man.

He leaned down and trailed his tongue over Fenris’ balls - he couldn’t help himself; he needed to have at least a little taste – then dragged it slowly up his shaft, circling it around the head.

“Delicious,” he murmured around a soft, lingering kiss to the tip. He let go with a small, wistful sigh and pushed himself further up Fenris’ body, letting his whole weight rest on top of him to pull him into a kiss.

 

 

Fenris whined - _whined_ \- when he felt Anders' hot, wet tongue move over his balls. But it was the sight of the man's tongue circling his head and kissing it like it was somehow worthy of praise that undid him. Gone was any pretence or worry or nagging fear. He forgot where they were, what today was, or that they should be getting ready.

There was only Anders.

He returned the kiss with a passion he didn't know he possessed as he raised his knees on either side of the man's hips. When he felt Anders' hard cock brush against his he thrust his hips up to meet the friction, gasping into the kiss.

 

 

Their cocks brushed against each other and Anders found himself helplessly gasping into Fenris’ mouth. Fenris’ legs wrapped around him, bringing their bodies closer, his lips on Anders’ with an almost bruising passion as he thrust up against him, as desperate for contact, for _more,_ as Anders was himself.

Anders moved with the pressure of Fenris’ legs. He was grinding mindlessly, aching for that huge, hard cock against his, moaning in shock and bliss every time they made contact. His fingers dug into Fenris’ skin, stroking everywhere they could reach as he thrust his tongue into his mouth, kissing him hard, deep, pouring all his hunger, his _need_   and affection into the touch of their lips

“You… you feel so good… Fenris… so good… I want you… Maker, I want you… don’t stop, Fenris… so…  _yes_ … don’t let go,” he stammered between kisses, each more desperate than the one before, only coming up for air and moans.

 

 

Anders' moans and breathy praises were like fuel on a bonfire. In one movement Fenris growled low and grabbed Anders, flipping them over so he was straddling the man. He was panting heavily as he bit down on Anders' shoulder, thrusting roughly, the friction driving him wild.

"Oh, Anders.... _ahh_ yes! This is... incredible..." the surprise and awe in his own voice were strange to his ears, but he meant it. It felt incredible. As his whole body started to heat and tingle, the coil of pleasure tightening in his gut, he still wanted more. He reached down and wrapped his hand around both their cocks, a strangled moan escaping him as he started stroking them together

 

 

_Anders... Yes! Incredible..._

It drove Anders wild to hear Fenris moan like this, unrestrained, hungry, his voice a mixture of awe and lust. He dug his fingers into Fenris’ back, so hard he found himself afraid he might leave bruises, but the thought was dim, distant; it didn’t fully make it through the haze in his mind, the cloud of desire he was floating on, the pleasure ached for and received, this endless hunger for more, more, _more_.

He could feel a faint throbbing in his shoulder where Fenris’ teeth had sunk into his flesh, but that, too, only made him ache for more. And then there was _more_ , not just Fenris’ body against him but his hand around him, around both of them. The tight grip of Fenris’ palm encasing them, pressing his cock, hot and hard and leaking, against Anders’, rubbing them together, not even the tiniest bit of space between them now. The sensation was maddening and something inside Anders snapped – not just at the sudden assault of pleasure but at seeing Fenris take the lead like this. There was unbridled desire in every single one of his movements, and it took Anders' breath away.

His head fell back as he thrust up with abandon, all thoughts gone to violent, unabashed moans he was certain could be heard all the way to the garden.

“Aaah… aaah… yes….  _oh Maker_ … of fuck… fuck… Fenris… I’m gonna…”

 

 

Watching Anders come undone - because of him - was a high Fenris could never have imagined. The drunkenness he felt, the power to be able to cause this reaction in the man was... powerful.

"Yes... that's it... that's it my darling... let go... let go for me..." he panted, holding himself up with one hand so that he could watch the man's face contort in pleasure. His other hand wrapped around their cocks, finding their pleasure together. He brushed his palm over their leaking heads before firmly grasping their steel hard shafts and stroking faster and tighter. Fenris' vision started to blur as he felt himself nearing his peak.

"Oh... Oh, Anders! Anders I-! _Kaffas, yes! So close!_ "

He wildly thrust together with Anders as his vision suddenly blanked out altogether and he fell off the edge with a cry of Anders' name on his lips.

 

 

Anders lay there, spent and panting, trying to catch his breath as he cradled Fenris in his arms and pulled his face against his neck to nuzzle his nose into his hair.

"Fenris," he whispered, having neither the breath nor the coherency for more. He could feel the sticky results of their release, as mingled as their limbs, on his chest, trapped between their bodies, Fenris laboured breathing against his chest, but it was all just a distant backdrop to the warm, sated sensation that had taken hold of every part of his body.

 

 

For a moment Fenris was back there... he was a boy again, scared and confused and the intense feeling of _wrong wrong wrong_ and crippling guilt nearly choking him. But then he heard his name whispered... and it wasn't Danarius' voice.

_Anders_

He was safe, this was good - he chose this. He chose...

_...a prostitute._

Through his lust filled rose-tinted eyes he had forgotten... this was what Anders was good at. Making ....'clients'... forget, have a good time, let go ... And Anders had bragged about being very good at his job. Suddenly his throat felt thick and old familiar shame returned. He had been so lonely and so desperate for so long that he fell for a whore because he was nice to him. Shared a deeply personal and intimate thing with someone who did it for money...

_What have I done... I'm pathetic._

"We- we should probably get dressed..."

 

 

Anders felt Fenris' move against him, felt his body tensing up. An anxious, nagging thought flashed through his mind - _What if it brought up bad memories? What if he regrets it?_ \- but he couldn't find it in himself to truly worry about that now. He knew he would, later, could already sense the mushroom cloud of fretting descending on him - it was just how he was wired: he worried, he overthought, he gave himself sleepless nights.

But for now, in the aftermath of his pleasure, of a shared moment of intimacy no one could take away from him, he was still safe in the knowledge that no matter what happened, _he_ didn't regret it. It had been so long he'd forgotten how it felt. He'd thought the feeling had died with Karl and would never be granted to him again - to desire someone, to truly feel connected, to touch them and have it mean something.

Contrary to what most people secretly thought, he didn't mind his job. He could find something to be attracted to in most people, and while there were cases where it was really was just a performance, he generally enjoyed the sex he was being paid for as well. Yet it couldn't give him _this_.

It was usually pleasant, but meaningless, a clearly defined exchange of pleasure before you went your separate ways, and that was the only sex he'd been having for a long, long time. Until today. Until _Fenris_. You couldn't claim to be in love with a man you'd only spent a few hours with, and Anders wouldn't claim to be, but there was _something_ there. A recognition. A possibility. A choice. He was the first person Anders had chosen in his _life after Karl_ , and as he lay there, all he could feel was gratitude.

When Fenris sat up without meeting his eyes and mumbled something about getting dressed, he looked up at him with a smile.

"Yes, you're probably right. And it might not be a bad idea to... clean up a little as well."

 

 

Fenris kept his eyes averted as he fetched a warm cloth to clean himself then offered it wordlessly to Anders. Another disgustingly familiar memory surfaced of being 'responsible' for cleaning up the proof of his shame - a stain that would never come out. He grabbed his trunks and got dressed in the bathroom, deciding to put a plain t-shirt on too. He wanted to cover up, wanted to hide and put his guard up.

_Stupid, Stupid Fenris... Being fooled into thinking it was real._

He felt like a scared boy again. He wanted to blame Anders - scream and rage at him for tricking him so - but he knew this was all him. He slipped up, he let his guard down, and fell for a whore who wouldn't- couldn't- be what he needed.

"Ready? The girls are probably waiting."

 

 

Fenris handed him a cloth to clean himself and disappeared without saying another word. He was probably just as exhausted as Anders. The thought of having to get up...  _ugh_. If only they could just stay here, snuggle up and drift off into the deep, dreamless sleep of the blissfully fucked.

Anders shook his head, allowing himself a small sigh. No use dwelling on fantasies, they had a party to get back to and an important meeting to survive.

He quickly wiped himself clean and put on his swim trunks and a loose black t-shirt. The pool's water would take care of any possible remains of their... encounter, but until then he'd rather not shove the bare chest her brother had just come on right into Varania's face.

"Yes, all ready to go," he smiled when Fenris returned from the bathroom.

 

 

Fenris just gave a quick nod and headed out. The walk was quiet and long. Part of him still wanted to reach out and take Anders' hand, to smile and joke. A bigger part of him was wounded. So he kept his head down but his shoulders straight.

"Took you long enough!" Sera complained when they reached the pool. "What, did you stop for a quick shag first?"

"That is none of your business," Fenris snapped back with a snarl.

"Woa there! I was just teasing! Holy ass tits what got up your ass..." Sera grumbled, then muttered to Varania who was looking worried. "Besides... you know... him," she said pointing at Anders.

 

 

Strange how it had taken just one very quiet, very awkward, and virtually _endless_ walk through the house for that feeling of warmth and happiness Anders had been so completely wrapped up in, so certain of, to dissolve without a trace, like cotton candy in water.

Fenris hadn't said a single word, hadn't touched him or even just fucking _looked_ at him, not once, and now he was snapping at his sister and her friend like a rabid mabari. A part of Anders wanted to confront him - _Yes, Fenris, what DID get up your ass, cause it sure as the void wasn't me_ \- but there was no point in doing it in front of the girls. Fenris wouldn't be able to give an honest answer anyway.

And afterwards, it would be time to head to the meeting. Not the place to have a serious discussion either. He'd just have to tough it out, fake a smile and ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach until tonight, when they'd be alone again.

"Are you saying I'm not... sizeable enough to be a possible cause for trouble?" He turned to Sera, eyebrows raised in mock offense. "This slight will not be forgotten, and my revenge will be merciless. I seem to recall you issuing a challenge. Prepare to be obliterated."

 


	17. A Quick Dip, A Quick Trip, and a Table Flip

 

Sera took up the opportunity to ignore the grumpy heir, instead sticking her tongue out at Anders. "You're on, fatty!" she sassed and turned to jump into the pool.

Fenris instead took a drink offered by a passing servant on their way to the gardens and sat heavily on one of the tanning benches. He finished it in one drink before tossing it aside and hanging his head in his hands. He felt a slight dipping on the bench next to him and he knew his sister had sat down.

 

 

As it turned out, Fenris not only continued to ignore him but also abandoned him when it came to their bet with the girls. Not even a word of apology or explanation, he'd simply stalked off towards one of the benches, snatching a drink from an unsuspecting waiter and downing it without sparing him another glance. Which was apparently a Leto thing to do, as Varania had wandered off to join him, leaving Anders and Sera to fend for themselves.

_Well, fine by me. So sweet of you to leave your fancy pool to the peasant kids._

Anders swallowed the sharp lump of bitterness and fear - _Don't jump to conclusions!_  - in his throat and jumped in after Sera with a giant splash. Since Fenris obviously wanted nothing to do with him, he might as well have fun with someone else.

"Alright bee girl, show me what you got.”

 

 

Fenris didn't even look up when he heard Anders tease Sera and the two splashing about.

_Why should Anders care? He is having a good time. Nice place, free trip, got to fuck a guy..._

Varania cleared her throat. "Brother? Is everything okay?"

"No..."

She awkwardly fiddled with the edges of her towel. "Oh. Anything I can do?"

"Not unless you're wine."

"Oh." She sat a while more before getting too jealous of the fun going on in the pool. Finally, she stood but before she walked off she said softly, "You can allow yourself to be happy you know."

 

 

"I see one of the Letos has finally decided to grace us with her presence," Anders called out to Varania when she joined them in the pool. He couldn't help the edge in his voice. She wasn't the one who was treating him like garbage, but bitterness was starting to clog up his throat like bile.

He tried to make up for it with a small smile, then let himself fall back into the water with a splash that he knew would hit both of them.

" _Oooops_. Better try and catch me."

He swam off without looking back, more to get away than because he actually cared about their "bet". He had more than ten years on both of them, and he'd just had two orgasms in less than two hours - there was no way he'd win this. But it didn't matter. So long as he focused on swimming, he didn't have to see Fenris not looking at him.

 

 

Fenris leaned back against the lounge chair and stared up at the sky, willing the warm Tevinter sun to keep the tears he felt from forming. Hearing Anders' voice and laughter in the pool didn't help. The way his heart skipped a beat every time he heard it didn't help. Still hearing his breathy voice moan his name certainly didn't help.

_Just a few more hours. A few more hours then you don't have to see him ever again and you can drink yourself into oblivion till you forget what his smile tastes like._

He just needed to distract himself and keep going. He heard Sera cheer victoriously and decided that would not do.

He jumped to his feet, took two strides and dove into the pool towards the group. He dived up to them, stuck his head between Anders' legs and stood so Anders suddenly found himself sitting on his shoulders. He raised a challenging eyebrow to Sera.

 

 

Anders yelped when he was suddenly lifted out of the water and found himself flailing on Fenris' shoulders, probably looking about as graceful as a confused, overweight seal. He hadn't even noticed Fenris jumping into the pool.

Fenris immediately declared war on a gleefully cackling Sera. Well, no wonder she was happy, now that she finally had an opponent that might be an actual challenge instead of the aforementioned geriatric seal Anders currently felt like. While a part of him was immensely relieved that Fenris had joined them after all and was actually touching him again, it wasn't enough to shut up the nasty, fearful whispers at the back of his mind.

As he scrambled off Fenris' shoulders and readied himself for another round, he couldn't help raising an eyebrow at him. Nor did he manage to keep his voice from sounding like it had been dipped in acid. He did keep it low, though. No need for the girls to hear.

"So, you're done treating me like a used Kleenex?"

 

 

Fenris didn't dare look at Anders when he answered, not trusting his fragile emotions and the turmoil in him. "If I say yes, will you dunk my sister while I race Sera and wipe that grin off her face?" He tried to keep his voice level, but the vitriol in Anders' stung. Here he was just thinking about himself, not even that Anders might be feeling too.

_Pathetic, self-centred coward..._

 

 

_And once again, he's not even looking at me._

It stung. But although Fenris refused to meet his eyes, something about his expression, the change in his posture, gave off a sense of... contrition. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, yet Anders decided it would have to suffice, for now.

He'd let it go.

Which wasn't exactly in his nature... Still, he'd try. For Fenris. And for this day to end in success. Stopping Danarius was more important than Anders' hurt feelings.

He nodded, belatedly realising that Fenris, who still wasn't looking at him, wouldn't be able to see "Alright, one sneak-attack on your sibling, coming right up."

And with that he dove away, innocently swam up to an unsuspecting Varania and did as Fenris had asked with a loud deafening battle cry.

 

 

"Try to keep up Sera!" Fenris yelled as he dashed into the water, racing for the other end. She sputtered and came after him, but he won in the end. Although a little more narrowly than he would have liked.

"You cheating piece of shite! That's it. Double or nothing - I bet you can't knock me off Varania's shoulders!"

Varania was still catching her breath and scolding Anders when Sera swam up to her and dunked her again to climb on her shoulders. Sera looked at Anders. "Go on then, get on his. Time for us peasants to be on top, yeah?"

 

 

"You think the ruling class's delicate shoulders can carry that burden?" Anders grinned as he waited for Fenris to bend low enough so he could actually get _on top_. When he'd finally scrambled onto him, trying to hook his legs at an angle that would give him a steady grip, he gave Fenris' hair an affectionate ruffle. "Show her no mercy, dear, she has shown me nothing but cruel mockery and defeat."

To Sera, he added, "Bring it."

 

 

Fenris couldn't stop the small smile at Anders' ruffling his hair and calling him 'dear.' "I am no delicate flower. But the 1% will serve the 99%, as it should be. Even though the 1% should maybe lay off the blueberry muffins."

He took hold of Anders' knees to keep him anchored and got into a battle-ready position.

_I wonder if I can hook my foot under Varania's. No one said we should play clean._

 

 

_Not a delicate flower indeed._

Fenris' grip on his knees was strong. Not surprising, _Fenris_ was strong.

_Like when he picked me up and tossed me on the bed like I wasn't half a foot taller than him, right before he... Nope. Not helpful._

Anders shook his head and forced himself to focus back on the present. On his _enemy_. Oh yes, he would take her down. He might be old and slow, but that didn't mean he couldn't fight dirty.

When Fenris charged Varania and her passenger, Anders threw himself at Sera with all his might, determined to throw her off. There might have also been some hair-pulling involved.

 

 

Anders yelped when Sera bit him, causing Varania to be distracted for a moment - which was all he needed. Fenris quickly stuck out his foot and hooked it around her ankle then pulled back, causing her to topple backwards. What he didn't account for was Sera's steel grip of determination on Anders that started to pull him forward too.

He yanked back hard, which caused Sera to fall forward off balance, landing with her face right in his crotch as he and Anders fell over backwards.

"Paugh!! Ew ew ew ewwwww! Blegh!" Sera sputtered and gagged.

 

 

Bitten by two elves in one day that was... well, nowhere near a record, actually.

"Hey," Anders mock-scolded once he'd managed to get back on his feet, trying to hold back fits of hysterical laughter - that sight had been just too glorious. "No sneaky sampling of the goods there! I know they're irresistible but he's _mine_."

He helped Fenris, who had taken the brunt of the impact, back to his feet. "Are you alright?" he asked softly, pushing strands of wet hair out of Fenris' eyes.

_Damn, how am I supposed to stay mad at him when he looks like an adorably pouty wet cat?_

_Kaffas, how am I supposed to stay away from him when he looks at me like that, like he really cares._

"I... think I'll be okay," he said just as softly, the corners of his lips tugging just a little.

"You filthy cheating-" Sera started but Varania, who had been laughing so hard she snorted, startled the blond elf. "Did... did that terribly unladylike sound just come from you?" she asked in shock.

Varania was as red as her hair, both hands covering her nose and mouth as she stared wide-eyed at Sera. She slowly shook her head no.

"... I think I friggn love you!" Sera laughed and pulled her hands away, kissing Varania right on the lips.

"I... think maybe... we should give them some privacy?" Fenris said, looking to Anders for what to do in this situation.

 

 

"Yes, that might be a good idea. Let the kids have some fun." Anders winked, not bothering to hide his smile at Fenris' expression: utter confusion with a dash of lost. He gently tugged him along to the edge of the pool.

"How much time do we have left?" he asked as he pushed himself out of the water. "Enough for a little stroll through the gardens or should we just go upstairs and get dressed?"

 

 

Fenris glanced over his shoulder at Sera kissing the maker out of his sister, completely dumbfounded. "We got some time. The less time we have to spend strolling among the rich and pretentious the better." When he looked up he realised Anders had already led them into the quiet garden hedge maze.

 

 

"Can't argue with that," Anders nodded as he nudged Fenris towards one of the more secluded parts of the garden.

_Does it apply to present company too, I wonder? Do you even want me here?_

"Those were quite the ruthless water battle skills you showed there. Thanks for helping me out there. Sera was seriously demolishing me, my poor pride would have been mortally wounded," was all he said out loud.

 

 

Fenris sighed harshly. "Yeah, erm... no problem. She's a... bit intense, I guess. But you got her back though."

He stole a glance at Anders then saw the teeth marks. His own was where his shoulder met his neck, the perfect teeth imprint with redness where he had sucked on his skin.

Sera's bite looked like it might get infected.

"Are you okay?" he asked, referring to the bite.

 

 

"That she is," Anders sighed. "But she seems to make Varania happy, and that's what truly matters. And yes, I'm alright. Nothing that a bit of antiseptic can't handle."

He bit his lip, chewing on it so nervously he once again tasted blood. "What about you?" he finally asked, quietly. "You... seemed fine. and then you... didn't. Did I... do something wrong?"

 

 

That was the question, wasn't it? Did Anders do this?

_No._

Fenris mustered up all his courage to look up at Anders, to try and face his fears and cowardice. Anders was not the cause of his pain, even if being with him brought it on again.

"Anders... Its- ... I-"

Just as he was about to continue, Velanna burst from the bushes, furious. "There you are! Hurry! Danarius has called the meeting immediately because you and your sister weren't there. Zevran has gone to get them."

She took one look at their wet trunks and t-shirts and cursed. She disappeared then reappeared with two servants. "Switch clothes! Now! And Hurry!" At Fenris' pause, she scowled darkly. "It’s khaki pants and a white shirt, Fenris - I know it's not satin made from the wool of new-born purebred Rivaini lambs but we might lose the company to that disgusting vile Shem if you don't Hurry! Something isn't right with him... the way he hovers around your mother and that butler boy... there's evil to him."

 

 

Anders flailed and fumbled as he got into one of the servant's clothes (which meant he first had to get out of his swim trunks and shirt in front of Velanna, who made a point of _not_ looking away). The result wasn't exactly elegant - even the taller of the two men was still at least five inches shorter than him, and it showed - but it would do. Fenris had been faster to finish changing, and they hurried off towards the meeting immediately.

"This makes no sense," Anders muttered. "He can't just move things up as he pleases - and he can't just hold a meeting with several of the shareholders missing. Why is no one stopping that man? As far as I've seen, no one even seems to _like_ him."

 

 

Velanna grabbed Anders and pulled him along as they ran. "I don't know. He motioned for it to start and Mrs. Leto agreed. That's the majority vote right there so they announced that it would start and everyone moved into the boardroom. I think it's just Fenris and Varania he didn't want to be there."

They ran until they reached the big doors to the boardroom. Fenris was positively livid as he slammed the double doors open. "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!?" he thundered.

Then came to a screeching halt.

At the head of the table was his mother, signing a document. But she and all the other stakeholders present had vacant eyes. There was a red mist swirling around them - coming from Danarius who stood behind their mother with his arms raised around streaks of twirling red.

"...Blood magic..." Varania whispered in horror as they stopped right behind them.

"Sebastian!” Danarius ordered, clearly furious at being interrupted. “Stop them! Their mother needs to finish signing this!"

 


	18. Red Mist and Bad Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, lovely butts... the timeline between the two characters are a bit hazy in this chapter. We're claiming it has some metaphorical significance and represents their state of mind. Kthnksloveyoubye

 

Anders couldn't believe his own eyes at first.

_It can't be. I was considered extremely powerful for being able to light all the candles on my birthday cake - how is controlling the whole ROOM? With the reinforced Veil, we can barely even reach the Fade anymore, how..._

Maybe blood magic didn't require access to the Fade? Anders knew next to nothing about it; the practice was considered lost to time, what with most mages being neutered before they even fully came into their powers. But right in front of them was living proof that there was at least _one_ person who still knew how to use it, and now he was using it to violate Fenris one last time, to steal from him, from his family, to destroy his home. To _hurt_ him.

Before he even fully realised what he was doing, Anders was storming into the room, charging straight at Danarius.

 

 

Sebastian made a dash for Fenris, coming at him with nails and teeth like an animal. He was barely able to throw off the attack before Sebastian and two more family members came for him. But then Velanna, Sera and Zevran were there- Zevran with two blades he produced from somewhere and Velanna with a big steel tray, blocking and smacking. Sera was darting between them, pulling them off and away and trying to smack the magic out of them.

"Brother! Anders is going after him!" Varania yelled in terror and Fenris looked up from where he was on the floor, kicking Solas off him to skid across the floor.

Fenris was on his feet and running towards them when Anders crashed into Danarius. His magic was disrupted and suddenly there was a deep gasp from everyone who had been under the spell as if they had just come up for air.

"I will kill you!" Danarius growled as he shoved Anders off him and got to his feet. You ruined EVERYTHING! You whore!"

"DON'T TOUCH HIM!" Fenris yelled as he jumped at Danarius, a spell aimed at Anders striking him right in the chest.

He screamed as an agony he never knew possible burned through his being.

 

 

Anders hit the floor hard as Danarius pushed him away with more force than he should have possessed. He felt a sharp sting in his hip; there wasn't enough time to process what Danarius was yelling, or how he'd managed to get up and aim at him so quickly, no time to dodge the spell shooting from his hands...

From out of nowhere, a shadow jumped in front of him.

And then there were screams.

_Fenris_

His voice was filled with pain and terror. He was hurled to the ground, away from him, contorting in the grasp of Danarius' spell, and Anders couldn't have said how he'd managed to get to his feet, how he'd found the strength to hurl himself at Danarius.

All he knew was that Fenris was hurting and that it had to stop.

 

 

Fenris' whole existence was pain - excruciating, terrifying, mind-numbing pain. It felt like lighting rippling through his nerves and burning him from the inside out.

All he heard was his own screams.

He didn't see the way Anders barrelled into Danarius, his shoulder knocking the wind out of the older man. He didn't see his sister gather all the mana she had to cast a calm over the room. He didn't see Danarius yell and curse, clawing at Anders only to suddenly go stiff- his mother appearing behind him with a blade stuck into his back.

His last conscious thought was of Anders.

 

 

Everything happened so quickly - yet it seemed to last forever:

Fenris' screams getting louder, the agony palpable, they didn't stop when Anders lunged at Danarius; even with the spell interrupted, Fenris' voice was nothing but pain...

Danarius tackling Anders with everything he had. Frail as he looked, he was strong, too strong to overpower. Anders didn't know how long he would be able to keep him in check, definitely not long enough;  _Fenris_ , Fenris needed help _now_...

Danarius wrenching himself out of his grasp, almost free, about to...

A flash of metal. Fenris' mother, determination on her face, unwavering in her movements.

Danarius toppled to the ground but Anders barely noticed. All he saw was Fenris, a twisted, motionless heap on the floor, and then he was next to him, reaching inside himself for what wasn't there, useless instincts still kicking in after all those years and finding... nothing.

_No, no, no, please no, not him too, PLEASE._

"Fenris...  _Fenris_ ," he heard himself cry as he cradled him in his arms, desperately feeling for his pulse. "Fenris,  _please_ "

 

 

_Fenris... please_

That voice.

He... He wasn't sure why but he knew he needed to get to it. His mind was somewhere between the Fade and eternity.

_Fenris_

He searched and reached and tried to call out, to ask where they were - where he was. Faintly the noise rose, there were more voices. Some familiar. But the one stood out above all.

_Fenris!_

"Someone call an ambulance!"

"Danarius is dead."

"Brother? Brother!"

"Can you feel a pulse?"

"The paramedics are here."

"Give him room!"

"There's only room for one other in the ambulance..."

"- Anders. Anders should go with him. We'll meet you there."

_Anders._

 

 

Anders sat in the ambulance, feeling numb. Helpless. _Useless_. The paramedics were doing their job; all he could do was stay out of their way - and _hope_. 

Staring down at Fenris' unconscious body, he once again felt the old rage and despair at what had been taken from him burn inside him. And _fear_ , an overwhelming, all-encompassing fear. So far, Fenris seemed stable; there were no injuries to be seen. But who knew what damage had been done on the inside, if he'd even wake up again...  

While they'd been waiting for the paramedics, Anders had managed to gather his wits together enough to do what little his medical training enabled him to do for Fenris, but he couldn't even determine what exactly Danarius had done to him or how it would affect him.

He hadn't bothered to check on Danarius when the fight was over. He was past saving, and even if he hadn't been... Well, he could rot in the Void for all Anders cared.

All that mattered was Fenris.

 It hadn't taken the paramedics long to arrive, thank the Maker, and Fenris' family had ushered him into the ambulance with them. He'd tried to protest - it wasn't right; he wasn't the person Fenris would want with him - but his voice had been brittle and no one had listened anyway.

If Anders was honest, he was glad they hadn't. He didn't want to leave Fenris' side, even if all he could do was stare at down his hands and keep calling his name, knowing full well it was useless.

As the ambulance arrived at the hospital and Fenris was wheeled inside, there was only one thought on his mind.

_Please... please, he has to make it. I cannot fail him too._

 

 

Varania was pacing up and down in the waiting room, wavering between rage and anguish. Their mother had arrived later as she was first taken in for questioning. She now sat with her head in her hands. The rest of the family were waiting on news at home.

Finally, after three hours, a doctor with a clipboard emerged. "You're the family of Fenris Leto?"

"Yes!" Their mother was on her feet in an instant.

"It was touch and go there for a while, blood magic isn't something we deal with every day. It was poisoning him, draining his life force, so we had to flush it from his system. He pulled through but... there is scarring all over this body where the nerves had been burned and blood veins corrupted."

Varania let out a sob and clung to their mother.

"He'll be okay. He's a fighter, that much we can see. He's also been asking for an 'Anders' quite urgently. He's not fully conscious yet, but I think it would help calm him if Anders would join him."

Varania and their mother looked up at the man who had been silent.

 

 

Touch and go.

Poisoning him.

Scarring all over his body.

Fenris had jumped in front of him. He'd been hit by a spell that had been meant for _him,_ and now he was...

He was...

Anders realised as if through a thick fog that the room had gone quiet. Varania and her mother were looking at him expectantly. Slowly, the meaning of the doctor's last sentence trickled into his brain. Fenris had asked... for him?

"I... yes, that is me... of course I will... if he wants to see me."

He nodded briefly at Varania and her mother, mumbling something about letting them know how Fenris' was doing as soon as possible, but he couldn't bring himself to meet their eyes. He felt someone - Varania? - reach for his hand and squeeze it, and then he was in a beige, endless corridor, following the doctor to Fenris' room.

He was quietly ushered inside - "call if you need anything". The door shut behind him, and there Fenris was, eyes closed, an unhealthy-looking tint of grey to his skin, almost disappearing into the blankets and pillows.

_He looks so small._

Anders cautiously approached the bed. Someone had placed a chair next to it, but he ignored it for now. He hesitated, but then reached out a hand a placed it carefully on top of Fenris', keeping the touch as light as possible.

"I am here, Fenris."

 

 


	19. Happiness and Histories

_I am here, Fenris._

The voice he had been calling out for through the fog finally answered. He sighed in relief, but his body immediately tensed in pain. It felt like his whole body was bruised, every nerve ending and vein burned.

"An'drsh..." He managed to push through the fog, the touch on his hand pulling him into consciousness. _He's here._ Slowly, haltingly, he turned his hand over. "'T- hurts..." he muttered weakly.

 

 

_He's awake! He knows I'm here..._

"I know," Anders said softly as he gave Fenris' hand the lightest of squeezes. He wanted to reassure him he was really there, but he also knew that in his condition, even a simple touch could cause more pain. "I wish I could make it stop."

Force of habit had him checking Fenris' drip to reaffirm that nothing more could be done to ease the pain. "I don't think it would be safe to give you more than you're already getting. I'm so sorry, Fenris... for everything. That spell was meant for me, you shouldn't have..." Anders broke off, trying to steady himself enough to continue. He gave Fenris' hand another feather-light squeeze. "He's dead, Fenris. Danarius is dead. You're free."

 He wasn't sure if Fenris was even conscious enough to understand what he was saying, but he found himself rambling on anyway.

"And I'm here. You're not alone. They brought a chair, I can stay the night if you want me to. Or... Varania and your mother are here too if you want to see them."

 

 

Fenris tightened his grip on Anders' hand as much as he could. Just as before it stunned him how much stronger he felt just because Anders was with him. "Stay." He slowly cracked open an eye to look up at the man.

Anders looked tired and worn, the ill-fitting servant's shirt still on. "You okay?" He wanted to reach for the man, to pull him into his arms onto the bed.

 

 

_I just watched you get tortured and nearly killed so... sure, just peachy._

He gathered all his strength to give Fenris a small smile. "I'm alright. You just... gave me quite the fright there. And of course I'll stay. I wouldn't be able to sleep anywhere else anyway." He reached his other hand behind him and pulled the chair closer to the bed. "Mind if I sit down for a bit? I'm... a little wobbly..."

 

 

"Here, next to me." Fenris grit his teeth from the pain as he slowly tried to drag himself to one side of the bed. "Lie with me."

It was done. Danarius was dead. The business was safe, as was his family.

_But at what cost?_

All this - and the only thing he could think of was Anders. Wanting the man near him. If he could have Anders with him and his family safe, he would take any cost.

"Please?"

 

 

Anders felt his throat constricting, his voice coming out in a hoarse whisper.

"Of course."

He climbed onto the bed and carefully, very, _very_ carefully turned on his side, crawling up against Fenris but making sure a tiny bit of distance remained between him and his scarred body.

He reached out a hand to stroke his hair. "I'm right here, Fenris. If there's anything you want, anything you need, I'm right at your side. And if you want to sleep, I'll watch over you. I'll still be here when you wake up."

 

 

Fenris allowed himself to smile at that. Groaning against the dull ache in his body as he mustered all his energy to shift those few inches closer into Anders. This was good. This was where he wanted to be. "Talk to me," he mumbled, eyes slipping closed again. "You never did tell me what happened when you first got to Kirkwall?"

 

 

Anders couldn't help but smile when Fenris shifted closer, closing the distance between them. He made sure to lie perfectly still and not apply any pressure, even if he wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around him. To hold him tight and keep him safe, remind himself he was really there, he was _alive_.

"There isn't much to tell," he whispered, still stroking Fenris' hair. "Karl... I suppose it won't come as a surprise that _he_ was my one serious relationship. He was still just a friend when I moved to Kirkwall though... No, that's not true," he shook his head, smiling at the memory. "It had become more long before that, we just weren't ready to face it yet. We danced around the issue for months. We'd been friends for a long time, since I was 12 and he was 15, and all we had were letters and chatting. Still... I moved to Kirkwall for him. Neither of us admitted it at the time, but we both knew it. Karl's parents... they were difficult too. He'd moved out right after high school and offered me to stay with him until I could afford my own place."

He chuckled softly. "I never left. It took us a few more weeks to finally get our heads out of our asses, but eventually, we became a couple. And we stayed together until..." He broke off abruptly, clearing his throat to cover it up. "I worked a lot of odd jobs during that time. Handing out flyers - dressed as a giant nug, now _that_ was degrading - stocking shelves, that kind of thing. It didn't pay much, but it was enough. We... we were happy."

 

"What happened then?" Fenris asked, peeking up at Anders again. He wanted to move his head closer to the hand touching his hair, wanted to be wrapped in Anders, but even in his drugged state, he knew his body was too fragile at the moment. But having Anders here felt so right. So right that he forgot all about Danarius and The Rose and old fears.

 

 

"After a couple of months, I got into med school. I... I'd always wanted to be a doctor. I didn't realise it back then, but that moment when I accidentally lit the candles... that wasn't the first time I'd used magic." Anders smiled softly, his mind far away. Somehow, with Fenris next to him, the memories didn't feel quite as painful. "I thought I just had a knack for nursing injured animals. Turns out what I really had a knack for was healing magic."

He felt his old anger welling up again, forced himself to swallow it down. This wasn't the time. Fenris needed comfort; he needed calm and quiet.

"And since I couldn't do that anymore, I was determined to become a doctor. I was so relieved when I was accepted. But even with scholarships, the sort of jobs I was working weren't enough to pay for tuition and living. A friend mentioned an escort service a friend of a friend of a friend - it's always a friend of a friend of a friend - worked at. Not the Rose, I wound up there later, this place wasn't nearly as good. But it paid well, _very_ well, and the hours were flexible. And that's how I ended up being a med student by day, hooker by night. Or well, mostly on the weekends. I didn't have much free time and there were weeks when Karl and I barely saw each other, but we made it work."

 

 

Fenris listened intently, as much as he could. He couldn't stop the bile that rose to his throat again that Anders had to take up the escort job to pay for his studies. And Karl. He blearily looked up at the man. "Karl was okay with it? You being an... escort?" He couldn't bring himself to call Anders a hooker.

 

 

"Yes, he supported me..." Anders smiled. A faint smile, but a smile nonetheless. It still hurt, it always would, but it didn't sting like it used to. "Like he always did. Which isn't to say he wasn't hesitant about the idea at first - less because he was jealous than because he was worried what it might do to me. But when it turned out I was fine with it, even _good_ at it... Well," he chuckled, "eventually, there was a learning curve... he came around. I wouldn't have done it if he'd had a problem with it. As my partner, I felt he deserved to have a say in it. But once again, he understood, even said it felt good to know that he was the only one who got me for free. _They_ had to pay but to him, I truly _gave_ myself, not for money but because I wanted him."

He gave Fenris a soft smile. "I know you have... issues with my job but I promise, it never felt like something I was _forced_ to do. I made a choice, and I never regretted it. To people like my father, what I do for a living, is a sin, the ultimate shame, but their shame isn't mine. Every 'sin' I committed felt like giving his bigoted, hateful face the finger, and so I kept sinning. Happily."

 

 

Fenris just frowned and looked down, pulling away just the slightest. "I am glad Karl was there for you. He sounds like a good man."

_A much better man than I could ever hope to be._

"You're a strong man, so brave. I wish I was like that." He took a moment to mull everything over before continuing. "What happened next?"

 

 

"I hope you're joking," Anders said quietly. "Because you're the strongest person I ever met. Much stronger than I ever was."

Fenris had only shifted ever so slightly, yet Anders felt the loss in every part of his body. It took all his willpower not to shift along with him - if Fenris needed space, he would give it to him.

"And as for what happened next... life happened. A couple of years went by, with work and school and just... living. Being happy. Well, mostly. There were some incidents at the service I worked for back then, where things went awry with clients... You're not entirely wrong, this job _can_ be dangerous. There are clients who just see you as a thing they can..." He trailed off. Fenris didn't need more details, especially not now. "And not every place has the kind of rules and respect for its workers that's standard at the Rose. I was lucky to meet Jethann, even luckier that he hired me. Things were much better after that. I was almost sad to leave when I finished school and began my residency at the hospital. Karl had finished his degree, taken a job at Kirkwall University in the department of history... It was probably before your time, or you might even have met him. He was teaching classes, writing papers on magical theory and the history of magic and its role in politics... He was still so angry about what had been done to us, he wanted to change things, drag the faults of the past out into the light and help us learn from them. He was a brilliant man. That's not just my rose-tinted memory, everyone thought so."

He looked down at Fenris with a smile. "Sharp mind, quick wit, big heart... a lot like you, actually. We were both ridiculously busy, but it was worth it. I loved being a doctor, I really did, even if I rarely got any sleep. I was the happiest I'd ever been..." He trailed off, biting his lip. Fenris needed rest. No need to burden him with all the depressing details. "Of course, you already know it didn't last. He got sick, he died, and the years after that were not nearly as happy... and now here we are."

 

 

Fenris felt the pain in Anders' bright brown eyes as a deep ache in his chest. He knew there was more to the story but now wasn't the time. Neither of them were in a place for that talk.

_Those beautiful eyes have no right to know such hurt._

"I'm so sorry, Anders... I mean that. You deserve to be happy." He tilted his head up so he could watch the man's face as he asked. "Are you? Happy?"

 

 

Anders thought about the question, _really_ thought about it, something he realised he hadn’t done in years.

“Let’s settle for ‘I’m not _un_ happy. Which I know doesn’t sound like much but compared to where I was, to how I felt after I... after he died... I was in a bad state and clawing my way out of that... it took time. I might not be back at ‘happy’ yet, but I’m in a place where I can imagine I might one day be again. Just a few years ago, that seemed impossible. And now there are... moments.”

He smiled, brushing a strand of hair that had come loose out of Fenris’ eyes. “Like this weekend with you. I know it sounds sappy, feel free to ignore me, but... you’ve given me moments of pure, genuine happiness. I didn’t think I could feel that way anymore, and then you came and proved me wrong.” He let his fingers trail across Fenris’ forehead as he said, in a voice so low it was almost a whisper, “You really are something.”

“What about you?” he asked. “When you went to Kirkwall, when you finally escaped it all... did you find happiness? Or at least something worth staying for?”

 

 

_I made him happy?_

Fenris was nearly overcome at the thought. There was nothing he wanted more. A stuttered purr rumbled in his chest for a moment. If he could he would give anything to make sure Anders never had a dark day again.

"I think I may have... found something... worth..." He tried to smile but suddenly it felt like the air was being sucked from his lungs, pain deep and crushing seeping into his bones. His machines started beeping and a moment later doors were being thrown open and people swarmed in. He felt his back arch off the bed, heard screams and faintly realised they were his. Only bits registered through the fog that once again came for him.

"Too much pain... needs time to recover..."

"What are you saying?"

"...put him under... coma..."

"How long?"

"...don't know."

A doctor appeared over him. "Fenris, we're going to let you sleep till you're more healed."

Fenris pushed and raged against the fog. "Anders?"

_No. You're selfish. You're messed up and he doesn't need any more lovers who are not whole. Let him be happy._

"...be happy." With that, everything went dark.

 

 

Anders knew there was no point in sitting next to Fenris', or in holding his hand. Just like he knew that a medically induced coma was the right choice. Not a pretty option, but the right one nonetheless. Still, he was about as able to get up and leave Fenris as he was able to accept the fact that he would never talk to him again.

_As far as Goodbyes go, 'be happy' is not the worst one you could have gotten._

He tried to smile, to find some comfort in the thought, in the cruel irony of it all, but he couldn't deny that it also felt like a... dismissal. Fenris was done with him, and he'd made it clear, even if he had chosen to wrap the message in kind words. Because that's the sort of person he was... kind. Friendly and considerate, even when he was just dealing with a whore.

Alone in the room with nothing but Fenris and the humming of the machines surrounding them, Anders gave himself permission to cry. No one would see; no one would know.

  _I'm not ready to let you go._

If only they'd given them a few more minutes. He didn't even know Fenris' address in Kirkwall, didn't know if his apartment needed looking after - who would pick up his mail, or water his plants (did he even have plants)? And his job, his friends, who would tell them?

Anders didn't know anything about the treatment of magical injuries; they didn't teach that in Kirkwall. He supposed he shouldn't be surprised Tevinter hospitals knew how to deal with them; rumour had it neutering wasn't nearly as common here as it was in the South. At least Fenris was in good hands, yet from what little the doctors had told him, it would likely be _weeks_. He couldn't have stayed that long even if Fenris had wanted him to...

_Which he doesn't. Don't forget that tiny little detail._

He remained, slumped in his chair next to Fenris' bed, for more than an hour. When he finally found the strength to get up and wipe his face, he placed one last, salty kiss on Fenris' forehead – "You be happy too, you hear me, live the best, happiest life anyone could imagine, or I will come kick your ass" - and closed the door behind him to go search for Fenris' family.

 

 

As soon as Varania saw Anders, his eyes as red-rimmed as her own, she threw herself into his arms and sobbed. "Is- is he going to b- be okay?"

Their mother, her own usually composed appearance all gone now, looked at Anders beseechingly. "Will he?" Sitting in the waiting room with her son fighting for his life, a life almost taken by her own husband it... it makes one think. Of all the times she should have spoken up, should have said no, should have listened to her heart instead of her head - instead of _him_. But Danarius was finally dead. And it felt like their lives could finally begin - although looking at the pain it caused, there was no cause for celebration.

 

 

Anders held Variana close, rubbing his hands across her back to soothe her as he looked over her shoulder at his mother. "Yes," he said firmly. "He will be ok. There is no reason why he shouldn't recover. He was awake for most of the time I was with him. He even talked for a bit. He seemed well, considering the circumstances. He knew where he was, what had happened." He gave her a shaky smile. "He even cracked a few jokes. But his body has gone through a traumatic event, it needs time to heal, and the pain he's in would put too much stress on him, so..."  Anders kept his eyes firmly locked on hers and held Varania a bit more tightly. "They put him in a medically induced coma. I know it sounds scary, but it's actually not that uncommon. His mind will rest while his body heals and when it's healed enough, they will wake him up again. I assure you," he said as Varania started to sob again.

"They know what they are doing," he tried to comfort her. "It's the best option for him, I would have protested if it wasn't. Fenris will be fine. He just needs time."

Anders swallowed, his throat growing tight again. "I'm afraid it might well be a few weeks. His doctors weren't sure yet, but they should be able to tell you more in a few days. And... I’m sorry you didn't get to speak to him. It happened so fast, there was no time to get you. But you can see him now if you want to. He's asleep, you don't have to worry about bothering him... I'm sure he'd like to have you there."

He pulled back a bit to look down at Varania. "I won't be able to be at his side the whole time. I need you to take care of him. Promise me you'll have his back, that he won't be alone. Can you do that for me?"

 

 


	20. A Parting Gift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SADDLE UP KIDDOS THIS IS A LONG ONE!

 

"Of course," Varania sniffed and wiped her nose with her sleeve. "Whatever he needs."

"You should probably go home and rest and change," their mother said gently. "We can be with him in shifts. So he'll never be alone. And you must be exhausted, my dear."

~~

Fenris' mind was a haze of fragmented memories and... dreams?

It had to be a dream. He heard Anders crying. He told him to be happy.

Then they were holding hands, laughing together in his apartment. Drinking wine and reading together. It was perfect.

_They were so happy._

But then there were foreign hands, touching Anders... pulling him away. Fenris tried to reach for him but Anders went willingly. Foreign bodies were all over his Anders as he watched helplessly as Anders smiled and responded.

No dream. A nightmare.

 

 

Anders let himself sink back in his seat, thanking the Maker he had the compartment to himself. Well, at least for now. It was a long train ride back to Kirkwall.

Yes, he'd decided to go back by train. Search Fenris' bags for his plane ticket just didn't feel right... and neither did getting on a plane without him. 

Anders had returned to the Leto's estate alone and found his way to Fenris' quarters with the help of a servant (thankfully _not_ Sebastian). Once there, he'd spent a few minutes staring at the bed, the rumpled sheets, the discarded cloth... Had it really been just hours ago?

He left everything as it was, stepped into Fenris' shower of doom one last time, got dressed in some of his own clothes, folded the servant's uniform and placed it on a chair, and slipped out of the house unnoticed. There was no point in prolonging the inevitable, no way to say Goodbye without revealing Fenris' secret - and no way to stay either. Let them think the worst of him.

It took almost an hour's walk to get close enough to the city centre to hail a cab to the train station. Another dent in his savings, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

20 hours of dull, endless train ride between him and Kirkwall. Time to prepare, to say Goodbye, to let his head rest against the back of his seat and let the tears fall freely.

_Back to my life. As if none of this ever happened. In time, I will forget him._

And until then, he had the rattle of the wheels to lull him to sleep.

 

* * *

 

Fenris stood staring at himself in the mirror.

Scarred. Ruined. Branded.

The rigid white lines made it look like a lightning bolt struck him in his chest and branched out, covering his body. But there was nothing beautiful there, the raised scars hurt and disfigured him from his chin to his fingertips and toes.

It took him two weeks to wake, and another two days before he was released. Being unconscious for so long, he had been tormented by dreams and visions and nightmares of Anders- only to wake and find the man had left. Sneaked out.

_~~He saw. Saw what you now were. He doesn't want that. Doesn't want you.~~ _

His pride admitted defeat, but there was one last thing he vowed his heart he would do whilst in the Fade.

"Hello? Jethann? Yes. I want to buy the Rose. ... I know it's not for sale, but everyone has a price - name yours. ...Very well, I accept. And I tell you what - I'll double it if you help me with something... Only one requirement - Anders must never know I did this."

 

~~

 

The following morning when Anders arrived at the Rose, he was met by construction teams carrying paint and floorboards, while others were carrying furniture out.

"Are you Mr. Anders?" a man in a black suit asked. "Congratulations, the deed to the building is now yours, as is Kirkwall's first free clinic in - literally - ages! All funded by the Thekla Foundation. Here is your paperwork."

 

 

 

_How long has this bastard been planning this??_

It wasn’t the first time that day that Anders had asked himself that particular question. He’d known Jethann could be sneaky, but _this_? Left the Rose – well, what used to be the Rose - left his apartment, for all Anders knew, it was quite possible he’d even left the freaking _country_. Whatever answers he’d hoped to find, he wasn’t going to get them from him. But he’d be damned if he gave up so easily.

Someone had to know _something_.

Serendipity didn’t even let him into her apartment. At the sight of his face at her door, she merely reached behind her, fished an envelope out of a drawer and handed it to him. His expression must have given away his utter confusion, for she proceeded to explain, “It’s your last paycheck, darling. Plus severance pay, since he just sprung this on us out of nowhere.” Her smile slipped a little. “Jethann figured you’d show up. Said something about you having made it far and the student having become the master? I must admit, I am just  _dying_ to hear more.”

“Well, too bad, there isn’t ‘more’." Anders tried to keep his tone neutral, but there was just too much bitterness. "Just an idiot falling for a client who never saw him as anything but a whore... and who was so ashamed he’d been with him he tried to put an end to his whoring ways. ‘Doctor’ sounds so much more respectable than ‘escort’, doesn’t it?”

“I’m sorry, darling, I’m afraid I don’t understand a word you’re saying. Just how exactly did your idiocy get me fired?”

“He – oh, no, sorry, how could I forget, an _anonymous benefactor_  - bought the Rose, turned it into a free clinic and made me the owner. Oh, and he _somehow_ managed to find out Karl’s last name," - _better hope I don’t find you, Jethann-_   "and slap it on the whole thing. Way to make this hurt more.”

“I... see.” She sighed. “I’m assuming your clinic won’t offer... special services?”

Anders threw his hands up in frustration. He’d had this discussion with way too many people in suits already. “It’s not _my_ clinic, you know damn well I can’t run it, I never even completed my residency.”

Serendipity shrugged, the very picture of polite boredom. “Then finish it now. I’d dare hope even you should be able to get hired by a clinic you _own_.”

“It’s not that simple. You know what happened, you know I can’t just-"

She didn’t let him finish. “What I know is that this mystery client of yours just handed you all of your dreams on a silver platter. Even tried to honour someone you lost while he’s at it. And now you're  _complaining_ because... let me guess... your pride was hurt?” She waved off his protests. “Yes, yes, it’s all terribly dramatic. You know me, I’m always up for a bit of gossip and whining, but _some_ of us are _actually_ unemployed now so... I think I’ll let you figure that one out yourself.”

And with that, she closed the door on him.

 

* * *

 

“I’d like to see Mr. Leto, please,” Anders told the woman behind the reception desk with his best imitation of a ‘polite but firm’ smile.

It had taken him another week of mulling and moping, but he’d finally decided that the only way to solve this was to... face Fenris.

The man who didn’t want him, who’d meddled in his life without bothering to check for Anders’ wishes, who’d humiliated him in the worst possible way. Or done him a favour; Anders still couldn’t tell which one it was. Had Fenris been cruel or kind? Manipulative or generous? Anders remembered the expression on Fenris’ face after they’d had sex all too well. It wasn’t difficult, considering he’d seen it many times before, the look of someone who didn’t despise prostitutes _quite_ enough not to sleep with them, but just the right amount to resent them for it afterwards.

He’d learned not to let it bother him – but it was different when it came from someone who _hadn’t_ paid him, someone he cared about.

Fenris’ reasoning behind forcing him to quit his job seemed obvious. And yet... he’d listened. Actually _listened_. And remembered. Enough to understand what Karl had meant to him, enough to go to the trouble of finding out his name. He could have easily found more... traditional means to bribe Anders’ way back into medicine, yet he had chosen to fund a full clinic. A _free_ clinic. It didn’t make sense. And Anders needed to make sense of it. Or perhaps, he just needed to make sense of Fenris.

_How am I supposed to let him go when there’s this giant reminder of him I’m now going to have to deal with every day? If I don’t get this big pile of dragon dung sorted out, I’ll never be able to move on._

He needed to see Fenris. Whether to yell at him or to hug him... well... he wasn’t quite sure yet.

Maybe both.

“I’m sorry, Serrah, Mr. Leto isn’t accepting visitors at the moment,” the receptionist informed him with an iron smile. “Only his personal assistant is allowed into his office.”

“Well,” he replied, “I should hope so. I _am_ his new assistant. Feel free to ask him for confirmation.” He gave her a saccharine smile. “My name is Anders.”

 

 

When he said his name, the receptionist's eyes nearly popped out of her head. "Ju- just one mo- moment... Anders." She picked up the phone and dialled. "Felix? Get down here right now. I don't care!" She turned her head away, her voice a combination of a whisper and muffled yelling. "It's him! Anders! I know! ... But what should I do? ...really? Nothing? ... Kaffas... okay."

She put the phone down and turned back to Anders, a professional mask slipping back on. "I'm sorry, but Mister Leto is indisposed at present. If you would like to make an appointment you may email his secretary." She tried to smile but it failed, so she bit her lip instead. Everyone knew what happened, news about a family as powerful as the Leto's spreads fast. She knew that if there was anyone who could get their boss out of the pit he had dug for himself, it was this man. But she wasn't allowed to say anything.

 

 

If he was honest, Anders hadn't expected anything else. It was easy to forget, having listened to him mock his pyjamas and watched him cheat in water-fights with teenagers, but Fenris was a powerful man. And if powerful men didn't want to be disturbed - well, they wouldn't be disturbed.

But Anders had come prepared.

He had a pillow, he had snacks, he had water, he was more than willing to wait it out. "Oh, no need. I'll just wait." He looked her dead in the eyes. "As long as it takes."

He went over to the waiting area - basically just a row of three chairs in a bleak corner of the room - and flung himself onto one of them.

"I'm assuming you'll want to call security and have me removed," he called over to her. "You're of course free to do so, but I should warn you: I'll just come back. Again, as often as it takes. Which I'm guessing will eventually lead to a restraining order, but I can tell you right now, I will ignore that too and keep coming back. They'll probably arrest me and put me in jail but again, when I get out, I will come back. And so on. That is, if Mr. Leto wants me in prison. He should maybe give that some thought. Either way, if he wants a battle over who is more stubborn, he can have it."

_Well, that didn't sound so bad, for a creepy stalker speech, now, did it?_

If Fenris never wanted to see him again after that, Anders would respect his choice. But he couldn't just dump a clinic on him and then hide behind his money; oh no, he would have to own up to that mess.

He threw one last smile at the receptionist. "I brought cookies. Would you like one?"

 

 

She swallowed nervously.

_Creators. He's just like the servants at the Leto mansion described._

She politely smiled and declined the cookies, albeit a little stiffly, then pulled out her phone under the desk to send off a quick text. Then, she waited.

She waited till the business day ended and she bid Felix a good evening as he passed her on his way out. She waited till her shift ended. She waited till the building's busy bustle died down and she was sure no one was watching.

Getting up, eyes constantly scanning the big foyer, she walked casually to the water cooler next to the chair where Anders was lounging. "Floor 22. Down the hall, then take the black elevator up three flights. It'll open onto his reception area. His secretary just left. The door should be unlocked, but if it isn't, the code is 5560."

She drank her cup in one pull then made brief eye contact with Anders. "Please help him." She turned heel and left before he could respond or anyone could see her talking to him.

 

 

Since her furtive manner made it more than clear she didn't want to draw attention, Anders refrained from hugging her. But Maker, he wanted to.

_If you want to look evil straight in the eye, just go to the bastard who designed these chairs._

 After more than eight hours, every part of Anders' body hurt.

_Typical Fenris. Leaves me with a sore ass, but not in the fun way._

He waited until the receptionist had left, then followed the path she'd described, down the hall, into a sleek, shiny black elevator, all the way up to floor 22. Sending a quick prayer to the Maker for it to be unlocked, he knocked on the door and turned the handle.

 

 

Fenris stood at the far end of the office, a bottle of wine in hand- he had long forgone on glasses - looking down onto the city from the giant windows in his office. He kept the lights turned off. Wore clothes that covered his whole body, including his hands and neck. He kept himself locked up here, his office on the highest level. It left him feeling like he wasn’t part of their world down there; the real world.

 _I better get used to it_.

A knock on the door pulled him from his stupor. "What is it now Felix? I told you I don't want to be dis- ..." he snarled and turned his head towards the figure standing in the door, light from the hallway illuminating him.

It felt like the wind had been knocked out of him.

It was the wine, it _had to be!_ But... He knew that tall body, that long blond hair, those eyes...

"...Anders."

 

 

Fenris was nothing but a rough shape in the dark of the office, his voice the only prove it was really him. And hearing that voice was all it took to make Anders' resolve crumble.

He wanted to rush up to him, to pull him into a hug - _I've missed you, I've missed you so much_ \- but he forced himself to hold on to the bitterness.

"Yes. _Anders_. Sorry to barge in on you like that, but as you know, I had to sneak my way up here." He stepped inside and pulled the door closed behind him. "Since you _refused to see me_. I probably shouldn't be surprised, you're done with your _whore_ , aren't you, but we need to talk. So," he took a few cautious steps into the room, "are you going to turn on the lights or do you want me to break my neck stumbling around in the dark?"

 

 

Fenris' first thoughts were of shock and disbelief, then of awe and wonder, then near tearful joy and relief.

_I've missed you so. Please don't leave me again. I need you so much._

But then the harsh bitterness of Anders' voice came - and the illusion shattered.

He recoiled, reaching up a gloved hand to pull his thick scarf up over his chin. He kept away from Anders.

"I - What? _Whore_? Anders, I would never-" There was too much there to address.

_I would never call you a whore. I was never 'done' with you - I still am not. I never refused to see you, I refused to see anyone._

But all else that came out was, "The lights stay off. I... I do not wish to be seen."

 

 

At the tone of Fenris' voice, Anders came to a screeching halt. The stammering, the panic, ‘ _I do not wish to be seen’..._

He hadn't paid them much attention then but now, the receptionists last hushed words to him echoed through his mind.

‘ _Please, help him’._

"Fenris," he whispered, all bitterness forgotten for the moment as he crashed into furniture and nearly fell to the floor in his haste to get to him, "Fenris, what's wrong?"

 

 

"It’s nothing that should concern you," Fenris quickly responded, moving around the ginormous desk to stay away from Anders' reach, keeping his head down.

If he kept away Anders wouldn't see how thin he had gotten, or see the scars, or the way his hands shook.

"Why are you here?" Now that relief had turned to bitterness, he let the old but now-familiar hurt burn into his tone.

_You left me. You had me and you walked away. Why have you come back to torment me more? I have nothing left to give you!_

 

 

_Yes, nothing, that's why you're backing away from me like a spooked nug._

"You know why I'm here. And it's not 'nothing', Fenris, what kind of fool do you take me for? I can _hear_ you're not well. You can keep the lights off all you want, your voice says it all. And I won't discuss _anything_ until you tell me what's going on. You may no longer care, but I _do_...  _Wuah- ah, fuck_."

The problem with emphatic speeches is that they demand quite a lot of attention, so much so that you might miss the giant sofa-shaped object right in front of you.

 

 

"Anders!" Fenris moved faster than he had in weeks, catching his arm to help him up. He gently manoeuvred Anders to the sofa and helped him sit down. "Are you okay? Do you need ice? Is- is there something I can do ?" He remained standing, hesitant and unsure as he was in comfort situations.

 

 

Anders winced as he sat down. "Ice... might be a good idea. I'll have to check, just... give me a moment," Anders gritted out over the throbbing pain in his toes, shins, and knees. It had not been an elegant fall; even his chest hurt a little. "Thanks for helping me up," he murmured, reaching for Fenris' hand, more out of instinct than intent. He startled when his fingers brushed against fabric.

_He's wearing - gloves?_

Fenris made to pull his hand away, but Anders was faster, holding on to it and gently stroking his thumb across its back. "Why do you still need these?" he whispered. "Please tell me you're not still in pain?"

 

 

"It- I manage," he answered a little bluntly. "It’s for..."

 _No. No!_ He didn't want Anders to know, he didn't want Anders to see, to look at him with horror and pity as his family does. "Anders, I still don't understand why you're here. Do- Do you not like the clinic?"

 

 

Every fibre of his being wanted to push on, but Anders forced himself to let it go.

_For now._

He did, however, not let go of Fenris' hand.

"It's not about whether or not I _like_ it, Fenris. I need to understand _why_. I always knew you had a problem with my job, but why did you have to rub it in my face like that? Was the thought of what I do for a living really so horrible, does it really make me so much less of a person that you had to go out of your way to show me how little you think of me?"

 

 

"I... No. No that wasn't my intention at all!" Fenris was horrified when he realised how this may have come off. "I would never think of you like that! I just..."

Fenris dropped onto the sofa next to Anders but kept to the other end. He put his head in his hands and took a few deep breaths.

_It was either come clean or Anders would go on thinking that I think of him as a whore._

"It’s not that I have a problem with your job, Anders," he said into his hands. "I just have a problem with you being there. You have so much more to offer, so much more to give the world. The potential to change so many lives for the better - not just for 20 minutes, but forever." He swallowed and dropped his arms to his knees but kept his head hanging low. "...and no amount of coin will ever be worth that. There is no amount of sovereigns that will ever equal your time, your touch, your body, your laugh... Not to me. And the thought that there are people out there ... people that got to hold you and touch you and-... and never knew that they held the most amazing person in their arms... They would just finish their session, pay and move on. It’s not right - not to you. I... I'm sorry Anders. I'm so, so sorry. I am a weak and selfish man but I couldn't..."

_He's going to hate me forever. But now at least he knows the truth._

"I'm sorry."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big, big thank you to our lovely readers! Every kudo and every comment means the world to us, and we're delighted that you're sticking around :)


	21. What Was Left Unsaid

 

Anders' head was spinning.

_The way he's talking, you could almost get the impression he... likes me..._

It was just wishful thinking, of course, but still...  Fenris' issues with Anders' job seemed to stem from some kind of... jealousy, or maybe insecurity, rather than contempt or moral outrage. That was... something, at least.

However clumsy and invasive his gesture had been, it didn't sound like the intention behind it had been to insult. A 'your life should be better', not a ' _you_ should be better'. He was, of course, wrong about that, but now that Anders knew it was misconception rather than malice, he was willing to forgive. 

 Fenris had pulled away his hand and moved out of reach. Anders couldn't touch him. All he had were words.

"You're not weak. And you're certainly not selfish. But..." he sighed, “you _definitely_ are confusing. If you don't think of me like that, why did you act so weird after we had sex? I've seen that look before, but I didn't expect it from _you_. You were no longer a client, I slept with you because I wanted to, because I wanted _you_ , that's not something I've done with a lot of people."

_Two, to be precise._

 "I thought maybe I'd just imagined it but then in the hospital, you told me to leave and I..." he trailed off, unsure how to explain just how much that had hurt.

 

 

Fenris finally looked up and locked eyes with Anders. "I asked you to leave? I... I don't remember. And the way I reacted after we... That wasn't you. That was me."

He turned to face Anders but kept his distance, his chin tucked into his scarf. "I ... in the moment I was just... overwhelmed. It had been," he swallowed nervously and dropped his gaze again. "It had been the first time that I had shared such a _climax_ with someone. The first... after... him. And for a moment I was just back there and old feelings came back." He shook his head and chuckled bitterly, talking softly to himself. "If only I knew what I had..."

 

 

_He... he did want me to leave, didn't he?._

_...Maker, please, tell me I didn't just abandon him._

Anders swallowed thickly. "That's what I thought... at first, that you were just overwhelmed, that there were... memories, that you needed some space. I get that, I really do. But when we got to the pool, you were so  _cold_. At first, I was afraid I'd hurt you, that I made you do something you weren't ready for. And then I thought... Everything happened so fast afterwards and I... I'm sorry."

He trailed off, his mind still whirling, trying to make sense of it all.

"Fenris," he finally found the strength to ask, "did I... did I misunderstand? You said...'be happy'. I thought that was your way of telling me we were done, that you wanted me to leave?"

 

 

Fenris looked back up to Anders, his eyes wide and open. "No... no, I didn't want you to leave," he said softly but clearly. "I never wanted you to leave. Anders, I- ... I wanted nothing more than just to have you close."

_But that was before... before I had this body. Before I was completely ruined._

"But you did leave. And I can't blame you for it. You deserve so much... more."

 

 

_He didn't want me to leave._

It would have been a joyful thought, if it hadn't been for the fact that it meant Anders had left a man who needed him, a man who had been fighting for his life, who'd _wanted_ him by his side, alone in an empty hospital room. Sneaking out of his house in the middle of the night like a thief...

And now Fenris despised him for it, and Anders couldn't blame him. He kept his eyes on Fenris' face, trying to catch his gaze, to keep him from looking away again. "There is no 'more', Fenris. I wanted to stay. I wanted to stay more than anything, I sat in your room for over an hour after they put you under because I just didn't have the strength to get up and leave you. Maker's tits, I spent 20 hours bawling my eyes out on the train back to Kirkwall. I was certain I'd never see you again... But I swear I only left because I thought you wanted me to."

He closed his eyes, determined to fight the tears that were welling up behind them. "I'm so sorry. I don't expect you to forgive me, I know I've ruined everything when I abandoned you there..."

 

 

Fenris watched as Anders had to close his eyes, clearly holding back heavy emotion. Fenris instinctively scooted closer and reached out to take Anders' hand in his gloved ones. "There's no need to apologize, please don't be upset. Please..." He lifted a hand to gently caress the blonde’s cheek, wanting to do anything to keep those tears from falling. "Please..." he said softly as one tear slipped out. He couldn't stop himself, he leaned up and kissed the tear off his cheek. He was so absorbed in Anders that he didn't notice his scarf slipping down

 

 

Fenris was next to him, his skin warm against Anders' face, his lips against his cheeks... By some strange, wonderful miracle, he didn't seem to hate him. He even tried to _comfort_ him.

A wave of gratitude washed over Anders' body, a rush so intense it drowned out everything else. He allowed himself to lean into the touch, to turn his head and nuzzle his nose against Fenris cheek. And then, against his lips, as he kissed a trail down his jaw to his chin. The skin there felt slightly raised against his lips, and he could make out ragged white lines disrupting the smooth surface - _right, the doctors said there would be scarring._ But it didn't seem like his touch was hurting Fenris, so he kept kissing his way down his neck, tilting Fenris' chin up with his fingers for better access.

"I've missed you so much..." he murmured, not even realising he was saying the words out loud.

 

 

Fenris distantly knew he should be resisting, should hold back, but he was a tired and weak man who had everything he wanted before him. He whined weakly as he relaxed into Anders' grip, his hands wrapping around his wrists. He felt tears welling around his eyelids.

"I missed you so much more. Deeply. Desperately."

 

 

Somewhere at the back of his mind, Anders knew they still had things to talk about - the clinic, its future, why Anders couldn't possibly work there - but he decided it could wait.

_Later. There'll be time for all of that later._

Perhaps it was selfish... no, it was _definitely_ selfish, yet he couldn't bring himself to care. He was with Fenris, tasting his skin, breathing in his scent. Fenris' hold on his wrists was so intense it was almost painful; still, Anders leaned into it as he kissed further down Fenris' neck.

"Not possible. Perhaps just as much, but definitely not more," he said between more kisses on every piece of skin he could reach before Fenris' scarf blocked the way. "And don't take this the wrong way, I'm not trying to rush things but... you are wearing decidedly too many clothes. Fashionable as they may be, those gloves can't compete with the touch of your skin."

 

 

Fenris tensed at that. The gloves. The scarf.

"Anders," he said soberly as he pulled back. "Anders, I... I can't ask this of you. You don't know what you're offering. I'm not the same as you remember. I'm not the same man I was weeks ago. I..." He remembered the last time he looked in a mirror. The day he left the mansion. He had thrown a bottle at the mirror, shattering it. Anders was beautiful and perfect and wonderful, Fenris - who had always worked hard at his physique and appreciated presenting oneself attractively but tastefully - he could never have that, or be that, again.

 

 

Fenris pulled back abruptly and the feeling of loss was so intense it took Anders several seconds to realise he was speaking. And then a couple more to understand the _meaning_ behind his words.

 _I do not wish to be seen_... gloves, a scarf, _inside_ , in summer... in _Tevinter_ summer...

_The scarring must be worse than they initially thought._

He reached out both hands and clasped them around one of Fenris'.

"You're not _asking_ for anything. You don't need to, you already have it. You were the man I want then and you're the man I want now."

 

 

"You want me?" His voice has a bitter laugh. "Maker only knows why you would want me at all. But Anders...." He stood slowly, keeping his head low. "Who you wanted then isn't this..." He stepped back and started removing the clothes. Gloves, scarves, a sweater, and long sleeve shirts. Once everything he wore above the belt was off he stepped forward to turn on a bright standing light that illuminated his body. Warm olive skin now grey and pasty, with dark circles under his eyes. The muscle and weight now almost all gone. The way he exposed his chest where his ribs could be counted. "You cannot want a broken man, Anders my dearest."

 

 

Anders blinked at the sudden onslaught of light, and it took him at least half a minute before his eyes had adjusted enough so that he could take in the man standing before him, face twisted in a bitter grimace, chin held up defiantly... yet also trembling, refusing to meet his eyes. He was equal amounts confused - _does he really think the scars would bother me?_ \- and shocked. Not at the scars, but at the state of neglect Fenris was in.

_Maker, has he been eating or sleeping at all? He looks like he's about to keel over._

He stood up, slowly, stubbornly ignoring the pain in his foot as he hobbled over to where Fenris was standing like a frozen statue of flesh and fear. Making a point of clearing his throat, he placed his hand on Fenris' chest, covering healthy skin and scar tissue alike.

"You're not broken, Fenris, and even if you were, I'd want you no less. I... I won't claim to understand what you've been through, how it feels to have that bastard violate your body one last time... Death was far too good for him." He placed his other hand on Fenris' cheek, willing him to turn his head and look at him, yet leaving the decision up to him.

"But he also failed one last time. He didn't manage to destroy you, you're still as beautiful as you were when I first laid eyes on you." He gave Fenris a sad smile, not sure if he could even see it. "I won't lie, you need to get at least a week's worth of sleep, and you need nutrition that doesn't come out of a wine bottle, but that's what happens when you've been hurt. It takes time to heal. And I'm sorry, darling," he added firmly, "but you don't get to tell me what _I_ want."

 

 

Fenris couldn't help but stare, lips parted and eyes wide. "This... this is too good to be true," he said to himself, his voice hoarse and thick with emotion. "A trick of the Fade... or the wine."

_That Anders could want him, this fiercely, despite everything._

"But I am weak, and there is nothing I want more..." Fenris gave in, gave up the restraints, and threw himself at Anders, his hands cradling his beautiful face as he fiercely kissed him. Tears slipped from tightly shut eyes.

 

 

Anders let himself fall into Fenris' touch, diving into the kiss with his whole body.

_He wants me... He STILL wants me..._

The feeling was overwhelming, happiness, relief, arousal, _Fenris_ , back in his arms... And somewhere beneath it all, the knowledge that he had to tell Fenris _everything_. Fenris deserved to make an informed choice too; he couldn't postpone it any longer. But he could justify waiting a few more minutes. Right now, Fenris needed to be held more than he needed the truth.

Anders pulled him closer, wrapped his arms around his waist and kissed him some more.

 

 

Fenris' breath grew ragged as emotion swelled. He kissed those soft lips that had plagued his dreams. His fingers dug into those soft blond locks, plucking out the tie so he could run his hands through it. A sound between a moan and a whine, both pathetic and hungry, escaped him as he parted his lips and licked slowly at Anders', asking. He felt vulnerable and exposed in only his pants and socks, but with Anders, it felt _safe_. And he wouldn't let his past take this from him.

_Not again._

 

 

Fenris' hands in his hair, his body pressing into Anders', closer, _closer_... His tongue flicked against his lips as if asking for permission to enter, and Anders granted it immediately, a soft gasp escaping him as he surrendered his mouth, his body, every part of himself to Fenris' eager, almost desperate touch.

_Anything you want, love, anything._

 

 

Fenris wanted all of Anders. He wanted to pick him up and slam him against the wall, he wanted to kiss tenderly and bite possessively. He wanted to make sweet love to him, to be inside and over him, and he wanted Anders to be inside him - to give himself fully and completely to the man he lo- _Love?_

Fenris pulled back from the kiss, but still rested his forehead against Anders', even if he had to stand on his toes to do so. "Anders..." was all he managed to say. What else could he say?

_Don't leave me again, please. Stay with me. I ... I think I love you._

It was only from Anders’ reaction that he realised he had said the words out loud.


	22. Please Don't Let Me Go

_I think I love you_

There was a tiny part of Anders' brain that tried to remind him that it was too early to speak of love, but it was drowned out by Fenris' words. By _those_ words. 

Anders' understood what he meant all too well. There was _something._ Something he could already tell _would_ eventually deserve that name.

"I think I love you too," he whispered against Fenris' lips. No need to split hairs, not when the words came so easily, felt so real. "And I won't leave... unless you ask me too."

He pulled back a little, smiling sadly as he brushed Fenris' hair out of his eyes. "Which you might. Like I said... we need to talk. And if you still want me afterwards, I promise I'll never leave again. I will stay at your side forever. But if you don't... I'll understand. And I'll still cherish everything we shared. It's your choice." He could feel his smile widening as he shook his head. "It was always your choice. You had me before we even sat down for dinner." He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath to steady himself. "Perhaps we should sit down. I... I think it's time I told you about Karl."

 

 

Fenris felt his heart sink. Anders was scaring him, why now? Why so suddenly? Could there really be something so horrible in his past that he thinks Fenris will send him away? A little shaken- by both his physical state and the combination of fear and joy coursing through him- he slowly sat down, eyes not leaving Anders. "I'm listening."

 

 

Anders nodded, keeping his eyes on Fenris' face but not _quite_ looking at him as he sat down. He made sure to keep a little distance between them but stay close enough so that he _could_ touch him if... well, if Fenris let him.

"Alright," he said in a low voice.

_Where to begin?_

It wasn't the first time he'd told this story; he should have been better at it by now. And yet he struggled every time.

"I already told you... he got sick. It was in his brain, inoperable, there was nothing they could do, nothing _I_ could do but watch him... fade. His brilliant mind, his body, this thing was taking everything..." He shook his head, forcefully, pushing the memories back down. _Not now_. "His condition deteriorated quickly, he was going blind, starting to lose control of bodily functions." Anders tried to keep his tone as brisk and neutral as possible. "He was looking at months of pain, followed by weeks of more pain in a vegetative state and then... death. It was inevitable."

He swallowed, meeting Fenris' gaze. "I don't know how it is in Tevinter, but in Kirkwall, assisted suicide is legal, so long as it's approved by a committee of doctors and the patient takes the dose themselves."

 

 

Fenris took a shallow breath. He watched Anders carefully; how nervous he was, how his gaze shifted. "It is not legal here. The medical profession is there to guide the person and make their death as easy as possible - not bring death to them." He narrowed his gaze at Anders, not wanting to listen to his gut. "What are you trying to say, Anders?"

 

 

For a moment, Anders wavered. Fenris' statement, the way his eyes narrowed, the tone of his voice... He'd gotten that reaction before, and he already knew there was no point. Why burden Fenris with all of the painful details when he would be kicked out the door in a few minutes anyway? Why put himself through this?

_Because you promised him the truth. If he's gonna hate you anyway, you might as well make him REALLY hate you. It'll make it easier on him in the end._

Anders tried his best to ignore the painful sting of knowing that it wouldn't make it easier on _him_  and forced himself to go on.

"Well, Karl would have disagreed with you there. He wanted to end it on his terms, while he still knew who he was. And he got approved - there was immense pain and no hope, it was a pretty clear-cut case." He looked down at his hands, deciding he could at least spare himself the pain of having to see Fenris' face. "Or it would have been if his parents hadn't intervened. They were the religious types too, you see. They objected, claiming he wasn't of sound mind, not capable of making this decision. We weren't married, I had no say in this. And so the whole thing went to court."

 

 

Fenris carefully watched Anders. Watched and listened. "The court overturned the permission. But you... You went through with it anyway. For Karl." It was a question more than a statement. His gut clenched as he said it.

 

 

Anders shook his head. "No, they ruled in his favour. They just weren't fast enough. By the time the verdict came in, Karl had lost control of his limbs. There was no way for him to take the medication himself." He shut his eyes, tightly, determined not to cry. Not in front of someone he could already tell he wasn't safe with. "Karl... he was in pain. He begged me to end it while he still had his mind. So much had been taken from him, his magic, his body, he wanted this choice to be his own. I couldn't deny that request. So, I did as he asked. I administered the dose myself. I..." It felt as though each word had to wade through a thick swamp before it could leave his mouth, "killed him."

 

 

Fenris sat staring at the man he thought could do no wrong.

_I... killed him._

Conflicting emotions raged in Fenris. But... Anders was no murder. He just wasn't. Was he? They sat in silence for a while. Fenris just processing everything that had happened in the past 30 minutes.

_Anders came back- to me - but to confront me because he didn't want the clinic. But then... then we talked and admitted we both wanted one another. Maybe even loved. And that kiss..._

He turned back to look at Anders. The confident, caring, charismatic man now a tense, nervous being nearly trembling with contained emotion.

 

 

Anders waited for Fenris to say something, to say _anything_ , but all he did was stare at him. Anders didn't even need to lift his head to confirm it, he could feel his eyes burning holes into his skin, down to the very core of his being. After an eternity of painful silence, he decided to just finish his story, get it over with and then get out.

"I stayed with him the whole time, held his hand until... It wasn't quick. He had long lost consciousness but his body... the body doesn't let go that easily. It was horrible to watch. He didn't feel anything, I have to hold on to that... As a doctor, I'd seen much worse. But... I _hadn't_. As his partner... as his partner, a part of me died with him in that room."

He paused, gathering his thoughts, fumbling his way back out of the labyrinth of pain that was his past. "It didn't take them long to figure out what happened, of course," he finally continued. "His doctors knew what state he was in, knew he couldn't possibly have..."

 

 

Fenris wondered if Anders knew how expressive his face and body were. How the corners of his eyes tensed when he said something painful, or how his bottom lip quivered when he tried to hide his feelings. How his brow moved when he was overthinking. How his toes could be seen wriggling in his shoes when he was scared. Fenris watched Anders for a little while more before he made his decision. He scooted closer and pulled himself into Anders' lap, wrapping both arms around his head to pull the taller man to his chest.

"You are no killer, Anders..." he said with resolve.

 

 

A faint voice at the back of his mind protested vehemently - _Yes, I am, that's exactly what I am -_   but it was drowned out by the sensation of Fenris holding him, pressing all of his body against his, cradling him to his chest like a child that needed protection. And right in that moment, for the first time in years, Anders did feel protected. He felt _safe_. Whether it lasted or not, he couldn't resist that comfort, that respite from years of loneliness and judgement. He pressed his face into Fenris' skin and allowed himself to cry, in heaving sobs that left his whole body shaking.

 

 

Fenris let Anders cling to him as he held the man. Was he in a position to judge this man? If Anders was in pain, losing control of his facilities, and begged him to let him die peacefully on his own terms... would he deny a beloved that wish? No. No, he wouldn't let Anders suffer unnecessarily.

He kissed the soft blond hair on his brow, running his hand softly over his back, feeling Anders' chest shake in sobs. His other arm wrapped around his neck. "You're no killer," he repeated. "You were brave. Braver than most. You gave your love his last wish. You... you're an incredible man, Anders. Karl was incredibly lucky to have had you. He couldn't have had a better beloved." A bitter jealousy stirred as he said it, but it was the truth and it needed to be said.

 

 

"Thank you... thank you for... not running away... thank you." Anders' words were a muted blubber against Fenris' skin; he wasn't even sure Fenris could understand him. He'd been so sure... so sure Fenris would judge him, would tell him to get out and never come back - and now he was holding him, keeping him safe. Forgiving him.

Anders had never once doubted that he'd done the right thing. You'd think that knowledge would ease the guilt, but it turned out nothing could protect against its claws. He'd given Karl what he wanted, what he _needed_ , and faced with the same choice, he would do it again. But he still had to live with the loss. The memories. And the consequences. Only now did he realise just how much he had needed Fenris to understand. To know - and stay.

And just how scared he had been that he wouldn't.

He let himself be held, be rocked and soothed, and slowly, his sobs began to subside.

_He'd approve. And I... I think I'm finally ready. For you._

 

 

"You don't owe me thanks, Anders. You never needed my approval." He kissed Anders on his head once more. His body felt sluggish and his mind was distant as he thought.

That Anders had carried this so long, gave his career up for Karl, put himself through all of it for Karl ... Karl who didn't disapprove of Anders' working as an escort. Karl who saved Anders from his abusive father by offering him a place to go and a future to hope for. Karl had clearly been the love of Anders' life. A position Fenris could never hope to take.

"You must be exhausted," he whispered against soft blond hair. "And hungry. I'll make a call and have food delivered. Would you like for me to book you into a hotel too?"

 

 

 _Yes, exhausted, yes,_ Anders thought, his weary mind processing Fenris' words with a slight delay, _Food... Maker... ALL the food... Hotel..._

He pulled back abruptly, wide, red-rimmed eyes staring at Fenris in shock. "Are... are you sending me away?"

 

 

"I... No. No, I'm not sending you away." Fenris corrected, running his fingers through Anders' hair, tucking it behind his ear.

_I just need to get used to being your second best._

"I was just thinking you must be tired and hungry, and, well, I'm not exactly equipped to entertain here. I've been sleeping on the couch and rarely eat. So, I suspect you might prefer a stay in a hotel than here."

 

 

Fenris sounded sincere - _he did, didn't he???_ \- and Anders could breathe again. "No," he firmly shook his head. Reaching out a hand to cup Fenris' cheek, he held his head still and kept his eyes locked on his. "I want to be with _you_. If you'd rather sleep in a hotel, we can go together, but I'm not leaving your side, not ever again. Not when I've only just found my way back to you." He could feel new tears welling up and quickly blinked them away, swallowing past the lump in his throat.

"I thought... I thought I'd lost you forever. I'll sleep on the floor if necessary, really, I don't mind just please... don't make me leave," he said, voice barely above a whisper


	23. Homecoming

 

The determination and near desperation in Anders' voice made Fenris' heart clench. He couldn't help it, even if he was this man's third best - he would give him the world if he could.

"I won't send you away. Not unless you wished it. I suppose... we could go home to the estate. I do not wish to be in a hotel with prying eyes. Nor do I wish for my sister and mother's worry and scorn for not coming home at night. But it is better than keeping you here. You deserve better." He placed a kiss on Anders' cheek and stood to dress himself again. "Although I think maybe you should drive," he said with a tired smile and held up the Bentley’s keys to Anders

 

 

Anders stood up and walked over to Fenris. He still felt a slight throbbing in his foot, but it wasn't that bad anymore. He'd be able to drive - if that truly was what Fenris wanted.

He placed his hand over both Fenris' hand and the car keys. "This place isn't so bad, really, we can make do. We’ll just have to get," he smirked down at him, " _creative_. I mean, if you'd rather go home, I'll drive us, of course I will but... you don't have to do it for my sake if you're not ready to face them yet. I'll be perfectly fine staying here. Although," he added as an afterthought, "showing up with me will probably get you out of the line of fire. They'll have someone else to yell at."

He couldn't help grinning, even if the thought made his stomach churn. "And from how I remember Varania... there's gonna be a lot of yelling."

 

 

A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "With you... I feel so much stronger and more confident than I am. Since the day I met you." He turned to tuck his laptop and two notebooks into his backpack before swinging it onto his shoulder. "Are you ready?"

 

 

"Yes," Anders smiled softly, more to himself than at Fenris, "that feeling is mutual. You... you make me feel things I never thought I could feel again. I might not deserve it, but I'll be damned if I give it up."

He shook himself out of his thoughts, his smile aimed fully at Fenris now, bright and twitching with mischief. "Yes, love, I'm ready." As he walked up to him and reached for his hand, he added, "But fill me in on what exactly happened since I left and what you told them, on the way."

 

 

Fenris' heart skipped when Anders called him that...

 _Love_.

It made him feel warm and happy and completely ridiculous. Fenris took his hand as they made for the elevators together. "I didn't know why you had left when I woke up. Nor did my mother and sister. They thought you had arranged with me that you had to go back, while I thought you just... didn't want me." He pressed the elevator button to the basement level and kept his eyes on the floor.

"I thought you didn't want someone who wasn't whole. And I... well. I may have reacted strongly when I awoke to find my body scarred and my- ... and you gone. So, they haven't brought it up since." He walked them over to the car. A limited edition midnight black Bentley phantom. He went to the driver's side and opened the door to Anders

 

 

Anders placed his hand over Fenris' on the door and laced their fingers together. "I'm sorry. I can't imagine what it must have been like to wake up and think I..." He broke off, staring at the concrete beneath their feet. "I thought it was what you wanted, but that's no excuse. There was still a chance you might need me. I never should have left."

 He gave Fenris' hand a soft squeeze as he leaned in to kiss his cheek. "But I'm here now, and I'll make sure whatever anger your mother and Varania need to get off their chests will be aimed at _me_. I'm the one who deserves it." He smiled up at Fenris as he got in the driver's seat. "Now get that perky ass in here and give me directions, this city is impossible to navigate. You don't even want to know how long it took me to find this place."

 

 

Fenris smiled a little at the kiss on his cheek. It was still a thrill, a reminder that Anders was _here_. He walked around and lifted an eyebrow as he got into the passenger seat and buckled in. "So you came all this way to hunt me down and yell at me?"

 

 

"Well... yes," Anders grinned as he started the car and waited for Fenris to signal which way to go. "I mean, to be honest, I wasn't quite sure what I'd do _exactly_ but yelling was definitely pretty high on the list. I didn't know how to feel about it, what it all meant, all I knew was that I'd never get over you with a reminder like _that_ right in front of my eyes,not unless-" He trailed off, a thought occurring to him. "Why _did_ you do it?" They were waiting for the light to turn green, so he could risk a slightly-longer-than-brief glance at Fenris. "I know it wasn't to... humiliate me or force me to quit my job, I get that now, but I still don't understand why you would do something like that... for me... if you thought I'd just abandoned you..."

 

 

Fenris murmured directions, a gloved hand pointing out the way. At Anders' question, he shrunk into his seat a little. "I... you described the happiest time in your life when Karl was there and you were in medicine, and that you just did the escorting to pay for school. I thought... maybe I could give you that. Just as thanks. For everything. Karl could not be there, but a reminder of how he supported you, and you could work in medicine again. There has also not been a free clinic in Kirkwall since the Dragon age, the one then run by the famous apostate and mage rights revolutionary, who was rumoured to have been a lover of my ancestor."

He picked at his coat. "The thought of you didn't leave me in the coma. I felt... I don't know. That maybe you could be happy again. You deserve it."

 

 

_No, absolutely not, not a chance, you're not going to cry AGAIN. You're a fully grown man and you're driving, for fuck's sake, keep it together you giant sappy baby._

It was easier said than done, even more so as he couldn't hug Fenris either. No, he had to keep his eyes on the bloody road instead of kissing this man senseless, where was the justice in that?

The thought behind the gift - now that Anders finally understood it - was a beautiful one. That Fenris would care that much, put so much faith in him, support him like that...

_If only it had fallen to someone who actually deserves it._

He shook his head, trying to put the thought out of his mind. Yes, they still had to figure out what to do with the clinic, but there was no point discussing anything before he knew Fenris' plans for the future. Who knew if he even wanted to return to Kirkwall. There'd be ample time to dwell on past mistakes later.

"Remind me to hug and kiss you as soon as we get there," he finally said, a brittle layer of cheerfulness to his voice. "And you' were right: I can be happy again. In fact, I am happy right now. With you."

 

 

Fenris was quiet for a moment, only giving indications till the city faded into countryside as they neared the manor. "Truly? Do I make you happy? How?" he asked with genuine curiosity and only a hint of disbelief.

 

 

"Please tell me you're joking." Anders risked a brief glance at Fenris, shaking his head at the genuine surprise on his face. "By being _you_ , you big old dumb-dumb. The years I worked at the hospital weren't the only happy time in my life. That weekend with you... You made me feel amazing. Safe, cared for, understood, cherished... You made me laugh, you made me feel like I had everything I'd ever need right there in that room with you. And the sex..." Anders sucked in his bottom lip. "Maker, it was incredible. Just being near you is incredible, even if we're not doing anything special. It's like you... see me. Really _see_ me. And I wanted it so much, but I didn't think I could have it, I didn't think you'd want me." He smiled softly. "But then I came back to yell at you and you said you _did_ and now... now I'm happier than I ever thought I could be."

And he was. He had no illusions that it would all just be smooth sailing from here on, but it didn't matter if they had more battles ahead. Because he had something worth fighting for now.

He used another red light as an opportunity to reach for Fenris' hand. "I just hope I'll get the chance to make you as happy as you make me."

 

 

Fenris felt his cheeks heat to the tips of his ears that drooped bashfully. "I... I-" he cleared his throat and took Anders' hand to place a kiss on it. "Thank you." There were confessions he could make, declarations of what Anders meant to him. But there would be time for that. He gestured towards the house and the large black steel gates opened automatically to Fenris' car.

"This is it..." he said as he braced himself for his family's wrath.

 

 

"Yes..."

Had his collar suddenly become tighter...? Now that they were actually there, Anders realised just how nervous he really was. Whatever approval he might have gained over the weekend - after what he'd done, they'd hate him, utterly, one hundred per cent hate him and never trust him again. He certainly couldn't blame them for it, but that didn't mean he was looking forward to actually having to see that contempt on their faces. Even more so since he'd... liked them.

His stomach roiling in fear, he stepped out of the car, a confidence that he didn't actually possess in his step as he walked around it to open the door for Fenris and offer him a hand. No matter how bad it was for him, it had to be at least ten times worse for Fenris. And it was Anders job to make sure he got through this alright.

_Let them be mad at me so long as they're not mad at him._

"Ready, love?"

 

 

Fenris, who had been tense and anxious all over again, smiled. "I adore it when you call me that," he said.

He got their things, took Anders' hand, and braced himself. Not having announced their visit, there were no servants or Sebastian about to usher them in. Fenris preferred it.

He opened the big main doors and heard his sister before he even saw her. "I'm _telling you,_ mother! Surana said she saw him! Tall, blond, handsome and pig-headed, introduced himself as 'Anders' and that last she saw he was heading up to see Fen!"

"Now child," their mother responded, a hint of reprimand in her voice. "Let's not get our hopes up for-"

The door closed behind him and they both turned stunned faces.

"Sister. Mother. Good evening."

 

 

_Well, talk about awkward silences..._

At least they looked stunned rather than murderous. For now.

Anders sheepishly raised the hand that wasn't busy holding Fenris' and waved. "Tall, blond, handsome, and pig-headed reporting for duty. And I think 'massive idiot' was also on the list somewhere." He turned his head slightly in Fenris' direction and added, in a quieter voice, "By the way, this Surana deserves a _huge_ raise." Turning back to Fenris' family, he forced a smile and indicated a bow. "Mrs. Leto, Varania... it's good to see you again."

 


	24. The Calm Before the Storm - the Fluff Before the Porn

 

"THANK THE FUCKING MAKER!" Varania blurted out and ran up to them. She threw one arm around each man's neck and hugged them so tight both choked a bit.

She pulled back and without warning landed a punch in Anders' chest - hard. "That's for abandoning my brother!" she yelled angrily. Then she turned and slapped Fenris over the head. "And that's for disappearing!" Varania took a step back and glared at Fenris. "Holy nugs, brother... You look like shit."

Their mother then stepped in, her features scolding but her eyes worried. She laid a tender hand on Fenris' cheek. "My boy you look like you haven't eaten or slept in all this time." Fenris looked down in shame. "But you're home now," she said softly. "Both of you. Together." At that she finally looked at Anders, giving him a look that was both ‘ _I'm so happy you're here’_ and part ‘ _You do this again and I will hunt you down’._

 

 

"Yes." Anders nodded, determined not to crumble under her gaze and failing only a little. His chest still stung where Varania had landed her punch. "We had a few... misunderstandings, but we're here now." He squeezed Fenris' hand. "Together." He turned to Varania. "And punch me all you like but hands off your brother. He's been through a lot. He needed time." Anders raised a finger in (not quite) mock warning. "I mean it. Slap him again and I won't hesitate to slap back."

 

 

Varania narrowed her eyes at him in challenge. "Fine. But then you two are not allowed to leave the house for the rest of the weekend!"

"I second that," their mother said. "In fact..." She walked to the intercom box on the wall and pressed a button before speaking into it. "Sebastian, Fenris and Anders have just arrived and they look positively famished. Please have two of all Fenris' favourites brought to his room. That is all."

"That is most unnecessary, mother," Fenris said politely. "But appreciated. Anders and I have both had an exhausting few days. May we be excused, then we'll meet you for breakfast and we can discuss?"

She nodded gracefully. "Very well. I will see you boys in the morning. Sleep well."

 

 

_Ugh, so that slimy slug still works here._

Anders decided not to let it bother him. He was with Fenris - actually _with_ him now, his family hadn't murdered him on the spot (they even seemed at least partly relieved to see him), and he was about to get more food than he could eat and spend the night with... his boyfriend... in his "softer than heaven" bed. Tonight, _nothing_ could bother him.

He let Fenris' tug him towards his room, half-turning over his shoulder to call to Varania, "I see your weekend, and I raise you the whole week. This man," he gave Fenris' hair an affectionate ruffle, "needs several days' worth of sleep, and I'm gonna make sure he gets them."

 

 

Fenris just chuckled and shook his head. He couldn't walk as fast as he wished, couldn't just pick Anders up and run with him to the room. But with good food and rest and Anders... he'd be there again soon enough.

"If that is what my personal physician requires of me, I'm sure I can be amenable to such an agreement." He winked up at the taller man.

Finally in his rooms, he tossed his bag at his desk in the lounge and made his way to the bed to flop onto it face down. He pulled out an arm to pat on the spot next to him.

 

 

Anders' heart did a ridiculously sentimental little leap when he saw Fenris just let himself flop down onto the bed, all boneless and without a care in the world. When he patted the bed next to him as if lazily beckoning a cat, Anders didn't hesitate to join him.

Rolling on to his side so that he could see Fenris' face, or rather, the slightly greasy mess of hair at the back of his head, he mumbled, "Maker, I've missed this bed" and snuggled up to him to nuzzle his nose into his shoulder. After a few seconds of comfortable silence, he added, "That went better than I feared it would... Are you alright?"

 

 

Fenris rolled over onto his back, lifting an arm for Anders to snuggle into his side. He would have loved to just crawl under the covers but food and a shower or bath were needed first.

"I suppose. But I think maybe my appearance gave them pause. I expect a good talking-to tomorrow morning though." He tucked Anders into his side and kissed his head. "I'm just so glad you're here. Even if you just want me for my bed," he added with a smirk Anders couldn't see.

 

 

"Well, I certainly don't want you for your shower." Anders grinned, running his tongue along Fenris' neck. "I'm glad I'm here too. I have some very fond memories of this room."

And a few painful ones too, but he didn't want to think about those now. Danarius was dead. Even if Fenris still bore his scars - now also literally - he couldn't hurt him anymore. After all those years, Fenris was finally safe... and Anders would make sure he'd be getting better.

"Which is why I still insist we stay in here for at least a week... Well, alright, I might grant permission for a few strolls through the garden. You need rest, and I need some quality time alone with you." He lifted himself up on his elbow and placed a kiss on Fenris' forehead. "And if your family really starts giving you a hard time, I'll give _them_ a stern talking too. No one gets to yell at you... except me, on select occasions."

 

 

"Then I will accompany you to the shower. Someone must defend your honour against that evil, then." Fenris took Anders' hand and smiled up at him. "I know we both admitted to _feeling_ more for one another. But... So, am I... your boyfriend, now? Can I be?" he asked, not sure why the question made him so nervous, biting his lip.

 

 

Anders smiled, raising their joined hands to his lips and placing a kiss on Fenris'. "I thought we'd already established that - I don't call just anyone 'love', you know. So yes, you're my boyfriend now. And I'm yours. That's what I meant when I said I'd stay. Not just physically, but _with_ you. For as long as you'll have me."

 

 

Fenris smiled, feeling oddly triumphant. He reached up and wrapped his fingers around Anders' neck, pulling him down for a soft kiss. This felt so right. In his rooms, on the bed, kissing without a hurry or a worry.

He could do this. Maybe, forever.

 

 

Anders smiled against Fenris' lips before capturing them in another, languid kiss. He let his hand trail across Fenris' chest, all the way from his collarbone to his stomach. "Mmm, this feels nice. I wouldn't mind not moving again until... well, forever. You think Sebastian will serve us our food in bed?"

_He'd probably LOVE that._

Anders couldn't help grinning at the thought as he flicked his tongue against Fenris' lips.

 

 

Fenris moaned and opened his mouth to the tantalising tease of Anders' tongue, meeting it with his own. He reached out the hand that wasn't holding Anders literally by the neck, and let it roam over his back to that delicious ass, pressing it against his hip, and felt his own cock stir in anticipation.

_Woa. Hello, penis._

He had heard nothing of the little guy since he woke from the coma, and with some of the residual nerve damage, he had feared the little general might never again _rise to the occasion._

Aaand of course, that's when the knock on the door came.

Fenris groaned in frustration. "We don't need food, do we?" He asked with a nag. "Not when we have this."

 

 

"I'd much rather feast on you, that much's for sure," Anders muttered against Fenris' lips. "But," he sighed as he thrust his hips forward to meet Fenris' in one last, greedy motion, "you've gone too long without food already. Your personal physician demands you take care of that first, and afterwards, we can do whatever you...  _please_."

He let his tongue briefly dart out over Fenris' lips again, then got up with a wink. "Stay where you are, love, I'll go open the door. I'm sure Sebastian will be _ecstatic_ to see me."

He couldn't help smirking down at his tented crotch as he walked out into the sitting area, not bothering to adjust his pants in the slightest.

 

 

Fenris fell back into the pillows and groaned in frustration. With a long-suffering, sigh he got up and removed his gloves, shoes, and socks, as well as his scarf, and settled at the small two-person table by the window. He heard Sebastian's voice at greeting Anders, a combination of stuttering sheepishness and kill-me-now exasperation. He couldn't help but smile. Anders really felt like the piece of his life that had been missing

 

 

Anders returned to the bedroom with a huge grin on his face, pushing a service cart filled to the brim with food.

"Oh, that was fun. I think I might even come to enjoy that guy's company... so long as you keep giving me a huge hard-on right before I have to interact with him."

He walked up to the table, realising with a spark of warmth in his gut that Fenris had removed at least a few of his still way too many items if clothing. "So, no dinner in bed I see. Well then, what do you want me to serve first? It all looks amazing, I couldn't possibly decide."

 

 

Fenris lifted an eyebrow at Anders. "Eating in bed? You uncivilized Ferelden heathen." Fenris pulled a serviette off the tray and gave it a shake before neatly draping it over his leg. "Now, love," he tried the nickname on his tongue and loved it, "would you have a seat with me? We'll eat our dinner at the table then we'll eat..." he winked "...dessert in bed."

 

 

Anders involuntarily licked his lips at the sight. He'd very much like to sit in that lap, snuggle up against Fenris' neck as he fed him bites of his favourite dishes. Or better yet, postpone dinner and start with dessert... dropping to his knees between Fenris' legs, his head just a bobbing outline beneath the pristine white cloth of the serviette while Fenris tried to keep eating his dinner all prim and proper...

He shook his head - which did nothing to get rid of his erection - and placed as many plates on the table as he could fit before sliding into the chair opposite Fenris with a grin. "Sounds good to me."

 

 

Fenris sat upright as he put together a plate full of his favourite bites and bits and handed it to Anders. "These are my absolute favourites. We actually commissioned chefs specialised in the dishes to teach Sebastian how to prepare them. I'm leaving the best for last, however. Apple and pear crumble with fresh cream." For the first time in weeks, Fenris actually felt hungry. He made himself a plate of significantly less food, not sure what he could stomach.

 

 

"Special cooking lessons for Sebastian? I bet he loved that," Anders chuckled. He stared at his plate, trying not to drool. "These all look delicious... I don't even know where to start..."

Turns out that after a day of travelling followed by spending eight hours waiting in an uncomfortable chair, highly emotional confrontations and confessions, and a meeting with _the family_ , it didn't really matter where he started - he wolfed the whole plate down in less than ten minutes, only interrupting his chewing for moans of foodgasms and praise.

"Maker, those lessons paid off... You don't even need to go to a fancy restaurant, you can get all the best food in Tevinter, bah, in _Thedas,_ delivered right to your bedroom. Even if," he winked at Fenris, "you're too well-raised and fancy to eat it in bed." He smiled and motioned to Fenris' still only half-empty plate, which hadn't been nearly as full as his to begin with. "Are you enjoying your meal as well?"

 

 

Fenris felt an odd happiness in watching his love stuff his face so. From what he could gather, even with the job at the Rose, money was quite an issue for Anders. "It's fine. I haven't really eaten in some time. But I'm glad to see your appetite needs no adjustment." He smiled at Anders and made to reach out to take his hand. Only to pause when he saw the hand - his hand - thin and pale with lightning scars in stark white. He quickly withdrew his hand. "But yes, the cooking lessons did pay off well. Despite Danarius' influence on Sebastian, which the hospital confirmed was tied to blood magic and mind control, he has been with our family for years." Fenris decided to go ahead and get his plate of Apple pie.

"After dinner, would you prefer to shower or bath? I can run you a bath if you like. I have a range of scented oils. It is a... secret indulgence of mine." He admitted with blushing ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a huge chapter plot-wise, but some fun stuff ahead ;)


	25. Taking the Tumble

 

Anders doubted it took mind control for Sebastian to be a bigoted slimeball but decided the matter wasn't worth discussing. He was just a guest here; so long as Fenris felt comfortable around the man, he couldn't have cared less. It wasn't like he'd have to actually spend time with him.

"I'm very fond of scented oils myself, for... many uses. Can't wait to see what you got." He looked up briefly from his plate of apple pie - Fenris hadn't promised too much; it was delicious - to give Fenris a cheeky grin. "But did you mean run a bath for me or for _us_?"

 

 

"I- uhm... Would you like to? Share a bath with me, that is?" He asked with a little stutter. The idea of being naked with Anders again was one his body was in favour of. Adamantly so. But the thought of being naked with the body he had now...

_But Anders isn't just anybody. He is my partner. For real._

 

 

Anders looked up from his apple-y goodness, for longer this time.

"Is that a serious question?" he asked, studying Fenris' face with a smile. "Of course I do. We don't have to do anything if you're too exhausted or not in the mood, we can just cuddle and enjoy those scented oils of yours. And if you _are_ in the mood for... exertions, that's perfectly fine with me too."

Anders winked, reaching out a hand to grab one of Fenris' and lift it up towards the middle of the table. He bent down to kiss it. "I'm fine with everything if it means I get to be with you."

 

Fenris blinked, swallowed thickly, then almost tripped with the speed he got up with. "Okay I go get the bath ready," he said as he stuffed the last bite of his pie into his mouth. "Join me when you're done."

He quickly darted into his bathroom and started filling the tub. While it was filling up he perused his collection.

_Jasmine... too sweet. Lavender... too cliché. Horny goat wee- no. Ah, here we are._

He added a dash of calming elfroot, a bit of wild rose, and maybe just a few drops of a special oil Isabela gave him as a gift while winking suggestively. It smelled lovely, however.

 

 

Anders looked after him with a smile. With the speed he'd dashed off with, he wouldn't have been surprised to see a dust cloud in Fenris' wake.

_Well, that is promising._

It was always a bit difficult to tell if Fenris was not interested or just shy, and well, Anders was only human. Some reassurance that Fenris wanted him just as much as he wanted Fenris was more than welcome every now and then. He quickly finished his apple pie and got up to join Fenris in the bathroom.

"Mmm, someone knows his herbs... this smells delightful," he said upon entering, bending down to kiss Fenris on the cheek. "I'd better get ready..."

He took a step back and began to take off his clothes in simple but unhurried movements, keeping his eyes on Fenris' face as he did so.

 

 

Fenris was bent over the tub, testing the heat, when Anders started taking off his clothes. So simply, so seductively, so... His mind went blank as more and more skin was revealed to him. The knowledge that Anders was his now, that they could do this- could have moments like this - whenever. It was powerful to Fenris.

"Let me," the words slipped out as he reached to take over from Anders to slowly unwrap the beauty before him.

 

 

Anders couldn't help smiling when Fenris took hold off his fingers, stopping them mid-movement. "Of course, love, I am all yours..." He watched as Fenris began to unbuckle his belt (his shirt had already come off), unable to stop himself from licking his lips. To have those elegant fingers unwrap him like he was a present... It was a moment to cherish, to draw out and enjoy to the fullest. Even if his hands itched to start unwrapping _his_ present in the same manner.

 

 

Fenris ran his hands down his chest, cherishing and revelling in the toned muscle and soft fuzz around his belly button running down to his crotch. Fumbling fingers unhooked his belt and popped the button, slowly unzipping his pants to find...

"Are these... little kittens chasing balls of yarn?"

 

 

"Yep," Anders nodded, trying and failing not to grin. "Better be glad that's the only _balls_ they're chasing."

He reached up a hand to bury it in Fenris' hair and gently tilt his face up, then bent to place a soft kiss on his lips. "Sorry, love. I didn't expect to get lucky when I got dressed this morning." He traced his thumb along his Fenris'. "And I definitely didn't expect to get _this_ lucky. Otherwise, I would have put on something nice for my boyfriend. Tomorrow, I promise." He leaned in for another kiss. "Although in the long run, you're going to have to get used to these. Comes with my charming and fascinating personality."

 

 

"In the long run. I like the sound of that." Fenris grinned before kissing Anders again, pulling the taller man down. He had to break the kiss too soon, having to turn off the water. "There. It's ready."

  _And so am I._

 

 

"Then we'd better get _you_ ready too..." Anders nodded, reaching for Fenris and turning him back around to face him. He hooked his hands under the hem of his sweater and slowly raised them, waiting for Fenris' to lift his arms so he could pull it over his head. He frowned slightly at the sight of the long sleeve shirt underneath - "You're still wearing _way_ too many clothes" - then proceeded to take it off the same way.

He ran the tips of his fingers trail across Fenris' chest, placing a line of kisses along his collarbone.

"Beautiful. And _mine_ ," he murmured as he as circled his index finger around one nipple and leaned in to flick his tongue against the other one. He slowly sunk to his knees, kissing his way down to Fenris' navel while his hands set to work on unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his pants.

"May I?" he smiled up at Fenris' from underneath his lashes, fingers hooked into his pants.

 

 

Fenris' breathing was already picking up. He swallowed and nodded down at Anders.

_On his knees..._

He knew dozens of gold digging women who had seductively offered to drop to their knees for him. But the thought disgusted him. But seeing Anders like this... Because he wanted Fenris, not because he wanted something _from_ Fenris. It was incredible. He didn't see his own scars, didn't see his own faults, didn't hear his insecurities.

_Just Anders._

 

 

Anders smiled up at Fenris one last time before he pulled down both his pants and underpants in one quick, determined motion. Right now, he didn't have the patience to drag things out. He let his hands slide over Fenris' skin as he pulled them down his legs, placing soft kisses on the insides of this thighs, on his knees, his ankles, as he waited for Fenris to step out of them.

_Naked and real. For me._

He leaned back, taking it all in, his hands sliding up all the way from his calves to his chest, as far as he could reach. Naked as Fenris was, it didn't escape Anders notice that he was...  _interested_. Leaning back in, he placed a line of soft kisses _just_ to the left of his cock - not actually touching it but letting his breath fan across the heated skin.

 

 

Fenris gasped as Anders' warm breath ghosted over his throbbing hard cock. His hips jerked without his consent, an action he immediately tried to hide but which only ended in him losing his balance and falling backward, the edge of the tub hitting the back of his knees and sending him tumbling into the full tub. He sputtered and kicked like a cat in a pond.

Coming up for air, his face was burning hot in embarrassment. He groaned and covered his face. "Mythal dammit... please don't tell me I ruined it."

 

 

Anders was next to the tub in a flash, reaching for Fenris', trying to suppress his panic as he checked him for injuries. "Maker, Fenris, are you alright? Did you hurt yourself?"

When he was satisfied Fenris was unharmed and - aside from his miserable expression - fine, the tension in his body began to ebb away... and was quickly replaced by laughter, bubbling up inside him and out of his mouth in a hysterical fit he simply couldn't contain.

"N- no... no, you didn't ruin anything," he pressed out between fits of giggles as he tried to get himself back under control. "Don't worry, accidents and laughter are a vital part of truly great sex. And you may look like a wet cat... but it's a very _sexy_ wet cat."

He brushed away the damp hair clinging to Fenris' forehead. "Nothing's ruined. Do you want me to join you or would you rather have me... kneel in front of the tub... for a while?" He gave Fenris a wink, licking his lips for good measure.

 

 

In a low growl, Fenris got hold of Anders and pulled the taller man to him. Anders dropped into Fenris' soggy lap before the blond could protest. "If this shall be our life from now on, you know. You said I am yours and you are mine. As such we share everything." He lifted a hand to stop a question he knew was burning at the lips of his love. "My triumphs are your triumphs ...as are my failures." He snuggled Anders in his arms. "Now, as my closest confidant and personal advisor - how do you propose we deal with my failure to be seductive?”

 

 

Anders snuggled into Fenris' chest. The sudden heat of the water around him had been a bit of a shock, but the scent of the oils was comforting and Fenris' wet, bare skin against his... well, that wasn't too shabby either.

"Guess that answers the question if you want me in the water with you," he said with a soft chuckle. "And I propose we deal with that by doing just that - sharing the glory of our triumphs, supporting each other through our failures, and facing all our battles together. But I should warn you," he added, smirking up at Fenris, "that also means _my_ failures are your failures. And I've got a whole buttload of them."

 

 

Fenris let his hand map out the planes of Anders' back before grabbing hold of that beautiful mound. "I will take this butt, and any other you wish, as long as they are ours." With that, he kissed Anders; deeply and fiercely.

_If there is a future to be had here, I will gladly walk into it at your side._

 


	26. Splish Splash They're Taking a Bath

 

Anders pushed back against Fenris' hands, leaning into the kiss with his whole body. "Mmm, I like the sound of that."

_And the feel of that too..._

Fenris smelled of elfroot and roses, his hands had a firm hold on Anders' ass, he was warm and slippery and his tongue moved with purpose.

_I wish we could stay like this forever, love._

Anders stroked his hands over Fenris' back, one sneaking around his side to his chest and slowly down to his stomach where he let it rest, for now.

_Better not surprise-touch him... can't risk him startling and cracking his skull on the tub._

 

 

When those talented fingers stopped short of where he wanted them to go, Fenris groaned low - absolutely not a whine - lifting his hips up against Anders. "Kaffas Anders... I still can't believe you came back." He smirked, "even If it was to yell at me." He kissed the man again, his tongue delving into that delicious mouth that still tasted of Apple pie.

 

 

"Yes," Anders half moaned, half sighed, "I can't believe I'm here again either. It still feels like a dream." He pulled back a little to flick his tongue against Fenris' nose, grinning. "I'm glad you made me want to yell at you... since apparently we're idiots and that's what it takes."

With the way Fenris was grinding up against him, he decided to risk it. Letting his hand slide lower, he brushed the tips of his fingers over Fenris' cock, his other hand keeping a firm hold on his back.

 

 

Fenris' breath stuttered at the tentative touch over his dick, thrusting a little to get more. He settled comfortably back in the tub, Anders sideways on his lap, his long legs hanging over the edge. Keeping one hand on his ass, the other in his hair, holding Anders close, Fenris started to fully give in and let his body lead.

There was no judgements or shame or disgrace here.

Only safety and love and Anders

 

 

When Fenris didn't shy away from his touch but instead began to thrust, Anders got a little bolder. His touch no longer ghosting but applying gentle pressure, he stroked his fingers down his shaft, over his balls and back up again, at last wrapping his hand around him.

He nuzzled into Fenris' neck. "You haven't told me whether you want to cuddle or have some action yet."  Carefully tracing the shell of Fenris' ear with his tongue, he let his breath fan over it. "Tell me what you want, anything, I just want to make you feel good... in whatever way you prefer."

 

 

"I..." he panted as he trailed kisses over Anders' stubbled jaw and down his neck. The tongue over his ear making his breath catch. "I want you. So bad..." His vast inexperience, or rather tainted experience, was a factor, however. "I'm just not sure how-, what- I mean, what do you have in mind?"

 

 

"So long as it involves you, I'm up for anything."

Anders gasped as Fenris' tongue made its way down his neck. He buried his free hand in Fenris' hair, gently scraping his fingers across his scalp.

"I'll admit my ass is still yearning for that deep and thorough pounding we never got the chance for... But we should probably save that for less slippery surroundings for now." His hand began to stroke up and down Fenris' cock, slowly at first, then starting to pump in earnest. "I like feeling you like this, hard and straining and all mine," he murmured against the top of Fenris' head. "If those oils are safe for ingestion, I'd love to take you in my mouth... But really, I'm up for anything. I just want to feel you close, to make you feel good."

 

 

"Yes!" Fenris blurted, a bit awkwardly and too fast. "Yes, it's safe. All organic. Just, please..." Fenris was painfully hard, and Anders pumping him like this was making wild images of him pounding the taller man flash into his mind. He groaned and thrust up into the tight grip Anders had on him.

 

 

"Eager, are we?" Anders tilted Fenris' head to the side and nipped at his ear. "Well then, lie back, love."

He let go of Fenris' cock, gently pushed him back until he lay flush against the back of the tub, then swung his legs over the rim and scampered back to crouch at the far end. He licked his lips at the sight of Fenris laid out before him like a feast, the shape of his hard cock slightly distorted by the water but clearly visible.

Anders smirked up at Fenris one last time as he trailed his fingers over it and gripped his sides to lift his hips above the water. Taking a deep breath, he swallowed him down in one fluid motion, then gently pushed his hips back down. Like pretty much everything in this mansion, the tub was so big that his head was now almost fully submerged. He smiled at the thought, sparing a moment to lick at the heavy cock in his mouth with the flat of his tongue before he began to bob his head, hard and fast.

 

 

Fenris whined and grabbed the edges of the tub as Anders swallowed him down. He bit his lip to keep from moaning obscenely. His hips rocked on their own accord, but the way Anders was going down on him - the perfect hard sucking - and at the speed he was going, this wasn't going to last long.

"Oh! _Fenhendis vishante_! Oh, Anders- ! In not going la- ast!"

 

 

Anders slid his hands under Fenris back, cupping his ass and pushing his twitching hips up until he felt his cock hit the back of his throat. He remained still for a moment, settling into the feeling, then pushed Fenris' hips - and by consequence his head - up far enough to bring his nose above the surface and take a few shallow breaths. He tried to catch Fenris' eyes but his head was thrown back; he was biting his lips and indeed very clearly not going to last long.

Anders loosened his grip on Fenris' hips, allowing them to sink down again as he resumed bobbing his head, taking him deep into his throat with every downstroke. His hand reached up to the edge of the tub, where it fumbled around blindly until it found Fenris'. Interlacing their fingers, he increased the pace one last time.

_Let go, love. Let go for me._

 

 

Fenris tried to hold on, tried to keep control, but it was just _too good_. Anders had an incredibly talented mouth. Although he didn't allow himself to think on how he learned such skills. His back arched, his chest lifting out of the water as Anders picked up the pace, the perfect amount of tongue and throat and sucking and speed and-

" _Haaahhhh!_ Ahh-nders!"

With a surprised but cracking cry, Fenris came, hard, into that sweet talented mouth.

 

 

Hearing Fenris call out his name as he came - the sound amplified by the acoustics in the large, tiled room - sent a jolt straight through Anders' already painfully hard cock. Fenris' body twisted in the water, his hips thrusting aimlessly as he spilled himself down his throat. It wasn't easy, but Anders forced himself to remain still, to wait until Fenris had completely spent himself, until he bonelessly sank back into the water. Only then did Anders retract his hand and lift his head - _slowly_ , releasing Fenris' cock inch by precious inch. He crawled up his body, wrapping a hand around his back and cradling his head in the crook of his neck.

 "That was amazing, love," he whispered as he pressed a soft kiss to the tip of his ear.

 

 

Fenris had a moment of old feelings of vulnerability and exposure threatening, but then Anders was there, holding him close and talking sweetly, calling him 'love'. Fenris felt like he could have wept at the rush of _safe_ and _good_.

"It... it was... Wow," Fenris panted against Anders' neck. "Oh, but you haven't-" he started and reached for Anders' cock, looking up for confirmation.

 

 

"Of course." Anders smiled at the questioning look on Fenris' face. "You can touch me any way you want to...  _if_ you want to." He leaned down for a brief kiss on Fenris' forehead. "If you'd rather just lie back and enjoy the afterglow, that's alright too, you've had an exhausting few weeks. I can take care of it myself... and you," he winked, "could... watch...”

 

 

Even in his exhausted and sated state that idea made Fenris stir. His ears perked up in interest.

"You- you would do that?" He asked somewhat in awe and hunger. He cleared his throat and his more confident mask was put back in place. "Yes, I would love that. I would also hate for my love to go unrewarded for the... _most incredible_ experience he just gave me."

Fenris sat up in the back and sucked in his bottom lip in anticipation.

 


	27. One Small Step for a Human, One Giant Leap for his Elf

 

Anders chuckled softly at the poorly masked eagerness in Fenris' voice as he placed another kiss on his forehead. "Anything for you, love."

He scooted back a little until he was sitting in Fenris' lap - while the thought of just lying back at the opposite end of the tub was appealing, Fenris wouldn't be able to see much at that angle. Besides, there was _at least_ as much appeal to the thought of painting Fenris' chest in his cum.

Keeping his eyes on Fenris' face, he planted one hand on Fenris' chest, the other reaching down his own body and wrapping around his cock. As he began to stroke himself in drawn out, languid movements, teasing first his thumb, then the palm of his hand over the head in between, he let his fingers trail across Fenris' skin.

At first, Anders maintained eye contact but as the pleasure began to build, he gave himself over, head falling back as he tugged at himself more firmly, picking up speed. Gasping, bottom lip between his teeth, he began to thrust into his hand with abandon.

 

 

Fenris panted heavily again as he watched the display before him. Anders was a god. Beautiful and untouchable. For a moment he thought if Anders were still an escort, he would use up his whole family fortune to see this again. But Fenris was weak when it came to Anders, and the more Anders gave in to the pleasure he was giving himself – the more Fenris wanted.

When his head fell back and his hips started to thrust Fenris knew he found his own limit. "That's it," he growled under his breath and in one move - both smoother and stronger than he thought he was capable of at that time- he stood and stepped out of the tub. He quickly picked up the confused man in his tub, bridal style, and carried him to the bed where he tossed him onto the soft bedding. With another hungry low growl, he was on top of Anders, kissing him hard while his hips ground down to feel Anders' rock hard cock against his own.

 

 

It all happened too quickly for Anders to even fully process what was happening. One second, he felt Fenris' warm body beneath him and water lapping against his skin, the next he was falling on his ass without even a shred of grace, found himself lifted into a shock of cold air and was subsequently plopped down onto a soft bed like he was a sack of surprisingly weightless - _how is he still that strong even without food or sleep_ \- potatoes. Yet, before he could protest in indignation, Fenris was on top of him, kissing him like he meant to devour him, grinding against him - and _Maker, he's hard again already!_

"You know," Anders panted against Fenris' lips when he was finally granted a moment to come up for air, "the doctor in me wants to scold you for exerting yourself like that, but," he grinned, "the boyfriend in me is delighted." His hands took hold of Fenris' ass, kneading his cheeks as he pressed him down more firmly and canted up his hips at the same time. " _Very_ much so."

 

 

Fenris gave a very un-manly moan when Anders canted his hips _just right_ and pressed his own down. "Kaffas Anders... What spell have you put me under," he breathed against the man's neck as he let his lips dance over the soft scented skin. Their drying skin on the soft bedding adding to the sensation. It was so perfect- the moment, the peace he was feeling, _Anders_ being back... being _his_.

"Anders... I want you."

 

 

_No spells here, remember? No spells whatsoever._

Anders felt the old familiar sting at the thought. For a moment, he had to close his eyes, keeping them shut tightly against the bitterness, the acid lurking on his tongue... But then there was another tongue, hot and teasing against his skin, greedy hands on his body - but not just greedy, they were gentle, too, appreciative, affectionate - and words of such genuine longing and care that everything else just faded away and... he found himself smiling.  All that mattered was the man in his arms.

"You've got me," he murmured into Fenris' hair. "I'm all yours." He snuck his hand underneath Fenris' head, turning his face so their eyes met. "How do you want me?"

 

 

"Just like this," Fenris answered as he gazed into those beautiful deep honey brown eyes. "I know it may sound ridiculous, but... I always fancied myself secretly a romantic. I want to consummate this... _us_. Finally having you as my own, I want to be part of you. I-" Fenris had to turn his head away, his ears flaming hot in embarrassment.

_Mythal's mercy, I can't believe I just admitted that..._

 

 

Anders lifted his head. Following Fenris' movement, he placed a trail of soft kisses from his ear to his temple, down his jaw, across his cheek to his nose, and finally down to his lips. With Fenris still keeping his eyes averted, all Anders could reach was the corner of his mouth, so he placed a kiss on that too.

"Good," he said quietly. "Because I am not so secretly a romantic too. Some say a hopeless one." He nudged Fenris' nose with his own. "And I've been lying awake aching to feel you inside me every night we've been apart." Alright, quite a lot of them had also been spent aching for him to be inside Fenris, but that was a conversation that could wait until later.

"So yes," he sighed as he coaxed Fenris' mouth towards his with more soft kisses on every part of his lips he could reach, " _please_. I need you, I need us to be one... I want you so much..."

 

 

Fenris ears perked up from their drooped ashamed position as he turned bright eyes to Anders. "You truly are the piece of me that has been missing all this time, Anders," he admitted softly. Feeling too exposed after such declarations, he was happy to close his eyes and just relax into his lover’s body. The frantic thrusting now a slow rocking, a slow rise to the step they were about to take.

Sex may not mean much to Anders, but for Fenris this was huge. The pounding in his chest reminded him of it.

 

 

"And you are mine."

Anders held Fenris close, one hand stroking across his back, the other buried in his hair, letting the soft strands slide through his fingers. He let his eyes fall shut and just enjoyed the gentle, unhurried rhythm of their bodies, the calm before the storm. A part of him knew that they had to talk about protection, that he had to make sure Fenris felt safe and prepared for the step he was about to take, but he just wanted to _enjoy_ , to stay in that perfect moment for just a bit longer.

He was more nervous than he'd anticipated. Fenris would be the first. The first he'd _chosen_ , the first that mattered, the first he'd give all of himself to... since Karl. He had no doubt he wanted it, but it wasn't a small step for him either.

 

 

Anders held and caressed him as if Fenris was precious, something valuable and fragile. His touches loving and tender as he got comfortable with them being completely exposed to one another. He turned his head to capture those soft lips in a kiss, closing them over Anders' tempting bottom lip. The heat slowly returning to his loins as rocking started to move from lazy to more determined. He let one hand map out the plains of Anders' beautifully toned chest, moving over gorgeous long legs and back up. Everything about Anders was beautiful- inside and out.

 

 

There was renewed heat in Fenris' kisses, in the greedy thrusting of his hips, and Anders couldn't have resisted if he'd tried. His hands began to move faster, driven by nothing but the need to _feel_ , to have every part of Fenris' underneath his fingers, to grab and knead and worship. They fumbled blindly for every part of him they could reach, pressing him closer, closer, but it wasn't enough, his tongue in Fenris' mouth, tasting, thrusting, it still wasn't enough...

He pulled back. Gasping for air, he pressed their foreheads together, his smile shaky with need. "Ready to take me, love?"

 

 

"If that is what you desire as well, then _Kaffas_ yes!" Fenris breathed. It was like every cell in his body was alight with hunger and longing, his heart pounding in anticipation.

Then a thought occurred. "Do we... need something?" He was clean; he knew this. He had gotten himself tested the same week he arrived in Kirkwall, ready to put Tevinter and Danarius behind him. But Anders might not be... He got a sinking feeling in his stomach.

 

 

"I get tested regularly, and I always use protection, " Anders hesitated for a moment but then decided to add, "with clients." As much as he didn't want to upset Fenris by bringing up something he clearly had issues with, he refused to dance around that part of his life like it was something to be ashamed of. "So... I don't know about you, but... I'm clean."

 

 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry or infer, I simply meant to ask if we need lube or condoms." He kept his eyes on Anders' chin, somewhat ashamed of having feared Anders' work might have made him unclean, tainted somehow.

He wrapped his arms around Anders and buried his face in his neck. "But I'm glad to hear that. I'm clean too." It didn't quite escape his attention that Anders said he used protection _with clients_. Does that mean he didn't use it with significant others? Anders had only spoken of Karl, were there many more? He pressed his face more into the crook of Anders' neck, feeling the weight of his inexperience in both romance and sex compared Anders.

 

 

Anders wasn't sure what exactly was wrong, but the way Fenris was avoiding his eyes and pressing his face into his neck like he wanted to hide - or more likely, crawl inside and disappear forever - left no doubt that _something_ was. It made his chest ache to see him like that, as though his body was too small to contain his feelings, his desire and inadequacy to make Fenris feel safe.

 He wrapped his arms around him, leaning his head against his as he quietly said, "What's going through your mind, Fenris? Whatever it is, you can talk to me. You know there was nothing wrong about that question, right? Quite the opposite. I was about to ask the same thing."

 

 

Fenris was quiet for a while, just taking in his lover's embrace and soft voice. It soothed him in ways he didn't think possible. "I am just..." He sighed gruffly in frustration at not being able to word his feelings. "We're very different, in many ways. And I adore you - please, don't mistake me. I'm just reminded of my own inadequacies and ...inexperience, compared to you."

He snuggled closer as he continued. "You're so charming and intelligent, confident in your skin - as you should be, you are beautiful, absolutely beautiful inside and out. You've loved, lost, grew, overcame... you worked as a successful escort, you're proficient in comforting, supporting, calming, and enticing. And I..."

_I've been used and abused, I ran away from my problems, I abandoned my family to a predator, I took your job to make myself feel better because I couldn't stand the thought of you with another who didn’t appreciate you like I did..._

 

 

Anders placed his hand under Fenris' chin and gently lifted his face so that their eyes met. "And _you_ have been let down by _everyone_ who should have loved and protected you. Your father died when you were young and vulnerable and needed him most. Your step-father abused you, perverted everything a father should be. And your mother... I know she was his victim too, but it was her job to protect you, and she didn't. She failed you. And yet you find it in yourself to love her, to care about your family."

He swallowed against the lump in his throat, wrapping his arms around Fenris' back and pulling him close. "No one would have blamed you if you had just turned your back on them forever, but you didn't. You came back to help them, you stood up against the man who hurt you, and you freed yourself from him. You have lost and grown and overcome so much yourself. You made a life for yourself in a foreign city, took a job you didn't even need. Worked hard to build your own life..."

Anders let his forehead rest against Fenris', their eyes just a couple of inches apart as he smiled at him. "We're more alike than you think."

He pulled away briefly to place a quick kiss on Fenris' lips. "And I'm not nearly as confident as you think. Fake it till you make it and all. There are days when I feel utterly and completely disgusting and unlovable. Quite a few of them, actually. But you... you're more intelligent, charming, and attractive than I could ever hope to be. And before I got to know you better, before you let me in, I was convinced you were the most confident man I ever met." He leaned in for another quick peck on his lips. "There are no 'inadequacies', Fenris. You're perfect. And as for experience... Well," he winked, "I can't judge that. You haven't told me anything about your past exploits or lack thereof. Feel free to do so if you wish." His grin softened, morphing back into a smile. "But either way, it doesn't matter. All that matters are the experiences we'll make together."

 

 

Fenris had to close his eyes, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth as he just took in what Anders said and how this felt. After a while, he breathed: _"I am yours."_

He kissed Anders firmly but gently, although there was nothing tentative about the kiss. He knew how Anders saw him, knew this was safe - this was _his_ \- and everything else just melted away. He broke the kiss quickly to lean over to his bedside table, opening a drawer and rummaging around the old time capsule until he pulled out a small tub of scented lube he knew was back there. He dropped it on the bed then eagerly returned to the kiss, cupping Anders' sweet face with both hands, wishing he could pour every bit of the overwhelming affection he felt for Anders into the kiss.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you guess what's coming up next? Hint: it's porn.


	28. 1 + 1 = 1

Anders melted into the kiss, bathing in the Fenris' affection, the gentle voracity of his touch. For all Fenris claimed to be shy and inexperienced, there was no holding back with him. Be it scooping Anders up and dropping him on a bed in a rush of passion, or kissing him like he was the only person in the world that mattered, Fenris poured all of himself into it, and he wasn't afraid to ask for what he wanted.

No, he _was_ afraid. But he did it anyway, even when he was terrified, despite everything he'd been through.

"You are the bravest man I know." Anders looked up into those mesmerizing green eyes as he placed his hand over the one cupping his cheek. "And I am yours too."

He leaned in for another kiss, then nodded at the lube on the bed.

"I see you come prepared. That's certainly gonna make things go more," he flashed him a cheeky grin," smoothly. How are we on the condom front? We're both clean" - a conversation they should have had much sooner, he realised with a pang of guilt as he remembered Fenris going down on him in the linen closet - "and we're in a monogamous relationship... We are, right, you don't plan on sleeping with others? So as far as I'm concerned, we don't _have_ to use one. But some couples prefer them - for hygiene, to reduce friction, there are many reasons besides safety. Not to mention that no test is one hundred per cent infallible, so... I leave it up to you." He bopped his nose against Fenris'. "Whatever you're comfortable with, love."

 

 

Fenris' brows furrowed into a stern expression. "I am most certainly not planning on sleeping with others. I'm committed to you." He huffed a little gruffly. "Besides, I don't have a sexual history. Not a consensual one. At all. So, having you is more than I could wish for, I don't need others."

He leaned down to lick and suck a little possessively down Anders' neck. "I admit the thought of... coming inside you, filling you..." Fenris didn't end the sentence, instead groaning low, rolling his hips for Anders to feel _just how much_ the thought turned him on.

 

 

As if the rough timbre of Fenris' voice whispering the sweetest filth or the greediness with which he sucked on Anders' neck hadn't been enough, now the bastard ground down against him at _just_ the right angle. And Maker, he was hot and hard and his movements left no doubt as to what was on his mind: taking him, claiming him, _filling_ him, pounding into him until he saw stars and called himself hoarse on Fenris' name...

It's not easy to pull off a nonchalant grin when a tidal wave of lust is rolling through your body, but Anders gave it his best shot.

"Well, good, cause I don't plan on sleeping with others either." He pushed the little gnawing whispers of uncertainty as to whether Fenris' lack of a sexual history might eventually lead to him _not_ being satisfied with only one partner firmly to the back of his mind. Only time would tell. And... his mind had other priorities at the moment.

_Like being blissfully shut up and fucked into oblivion._

He stroked his fingers through Fenris' hair. "And you coming inside me, filling me... I'm very much in favour of that." He hesitated for just a second. He wasn't sure if he should bring him up, but Fenris had been honest with him; he'd bared it all, made himself vulnerable. He deserved no less from Anders. "And... there was only one person who ever got to do that."

 

 

_Karl. Of course. The standard of perfection Fenris will never be able to live up to._

Fenris gave a small bittersweet smile. This had to be hard for Anders too, opening himself up like this after having those walls so high all these years. He vowed to himself that he would do anything to be worthy of that. Leaning down to kiss Anders again, he reached for the lube and gathered a generous amount. A little clumsily, but determined nonetheless, he brought their aching cocks together and coated the rock-hard members before wrapping his fingers around both and giving a few slow strokes.

 

 

Anders' head fell back, a gasp escaping him at the delicious friction. Fenris' movements were languid but determined, and with the pressure having built up for so long - he'd been _so_ close when Fenris just plucked him out of the tub without warning - feeling both Fenris' fingers and his cock pressing against his own was almost too much.

_Too much in all the best ways._

He had to admit, the way Fenris just took charge was incredibly _hot_. He'd have every reason to be shy, but instead, he went straight for what he wanted. Never inconsiderate, no, he always made sure they were on the same page, and he wasn't too proud to admit to his insecurities, but once that was dealt with... Maker, he knew how to make a man's knees buckle.

_I wouldn't mind him slamming into my body like he slammed me against that wall..._

Fenris' hand picked up speed and Anders couldn't hold back anymore. It had been so long; he was ridiculously, painfully hard and he needed, he needed...

"Yes... ooooh... Fenris...  _yes_... fuck me... please... please Fenris"

 

 

_Fuck me_

The words managed to turn Fenris on almost as much as it revolted him. "No, no I will not _Fuck_ you, Anders. Maybe at another time, but not now." He let go of their cocks, his lubed-up fingers trailing slowly down as he pivoted his hips to move between Anders' legs. Using his other hand, he reached down to the small of the man's back and titled it up, his other fingers finally tracing down till they danced over that tight ring of muscle.

"Tonight I intend to take you, to make love to you. Not fuck you." He whispered low in Anders' ear as the tip of one finger breached his hole.

 

 

Anders couldn't help smiling.

_Why not both? Both is good._

But he also couldn't deny that Fenris' words tugged at his heart. He was so earnest, so frank with his affection now that he had let down his guard. Honest, real...  _and mine._ Anders turned his head to brush his cheek against Fenris'. "Yes. Make love to me." He leaned into his body, closing his eyes and savouring the feeling of Fenris' finger entering him.

_He's so careful. So gentle_

_...my love._

 

 

Fenris kept his confidence on the surface, but beneath he was thanking the entire elven pantheon for all the soppy romance smut he had read so that he at least knew what to do. Seeing Anders relax and enjoy his touch, he started slowly pumping one finger in and out while placing hot, soft kisses down his chest, enjoying the soft chest hair. He ran the flat of his tongue over one pert nipple while he slipped in a second finger.

 

 

“Gnnnhh, aaah, _yes_.”

The sudden sensation of Fenris’ tongue against his nipple came as a shock and combined with the insertion of another finger, it had Anders moaning a little louder than he’d meant to. His hands slid up and down Fenris’ back, as far down as he could reach, looking to caress just as much as they were looking for something to hold on to. He had to fight the urge to pull Fenris up his body and claim his mouth in a kiss, to urge him to go faster, to take him _now_.

Fenris’ lips on his chest, the gentle, steady rhythm of his fingers – tantalisingly slow as it was, it felt wonderful, and he couldn’t deny it made his heart flutter a little to have Fenris prepare him so thoroughly, to have his body worshipped and cherished like this. One hand still clinging to Fenris’ back, the other twisting in his hair, he gave himself over to the feeling, to the pace Fenris was setting.

 

 

Anders was completely giving in to him. He could feel it in his body, hear it in his uninhibited moans and taste it on his skin. Fenris knew he wouldn't last long. He was achingly hard; his heavy cock leaking profusely where it hung between his legs.

_More. I need more._

His lips and tongue danced over Anders' chest as his fingers started to pick up the pace. Anders was spreading his legs obscenely for him and it was almost more than he could handle. He slipped in a third finger a little earlier than he would've if he wasn't so drunk on the man. He softly shushed and hummed in sweet apology as he bent down to lick a long line up Anders' own straining cock, flicking his tongue to taste the pearly liquid leaking at the tip.

"Anders, my love ... I don't know how much longer I can wait..." he said, his voice coming out a lot hoarser than he anticipated.

 

 

"Don't.... you don't... don't have to wait..."

The words came out in a gasping, panting stammer, the near- frantic rhythm of Fenris' fingers - _three now, full, so full, so good, not enough, more, all of him, more_ \- driving Anders dizzy with longing.

He fumbled around blindly for a pillow and, having found it, shoved it just as blindly in Fenris' general direction. "Here... take... it'll make it easier to... aaah..." He stroked a hand through Fenris' hair, let his fingers trail across his cheek. "Take me... like this. I want to see your eyes. To kiss you."

 

 

Fenris stared dumbly at the pillow for a moment before it clicked in. He quickly fumbled with it lifting Anders' hips and quickly folding it under his hips. In equally hurried and un-graceful movements he grabbed the lube again, squirting it directly onto his cock and coating himself in it. He was panting heavily now, his heart pounding in his chest almost as hard as it did in those few moments when Danarius readied a spell and narrowed his eyes on Anders.

He leaned over Anders, holding himself up with one arm as he positioned himself, the head of his cock brushing over Anders' hole. "Are... you ready? You're sure you want this? Me? Because... if I go on, if I push into you... Become one with you... there's no turning back. Not for me."

 

 

Anders let go of Fenris' back, cradling his face in both hands instead. He lifted his head to place a soft, lingering kiss on his lips before he said, his eyes fixed on Fenris', "Yes, love, I'm sure. I don't need any last exits or second thoughts, all I need, all I want, is you. _Fenris_."

Kissing him again, he put his hands back on Fenris' back, a smile on his face as he slid them down to his ass and squeezed.

"So if you're sure you want _me_ as well... make love to me." With that, let his head fall back into the pillow and lifted his legs to help Fenris along.

_If that's what you want, I'm all yours for the taking._

 

 

All Fenris could do in answer was groan low as he slowly, a little shaking, thrust forward. He tried to keep his eyes open, but they fell shut and he bit his bottom lip as he felt his head resisted at first, but then... Anders opened to him and he pressed inside.

He gasped with a high moan at the sensation, and if he wasn't already on his knees they would've buckled. _"Oh, Anders!"_

 

 

"Fen... Fenris..." Anders stammered, his fingers clawing into Fenris' back. "Yes... yes... just like that..." His eyes threatened to fall shut as his body slowly adjusted to the pressure of Fenris' cock inside him. Or rather, _some_ of Fenris' cock, he was still pushing in, his pace torturously slow and Andraste's clenching cheeks, he was huge. Not that Anders wasn't used to _large_ partners, but it was different with Fenris; everything was different with Fenris, just a bit of lube between them, his body throbbing with pleasure and emotion alike, it was almost too much. Not painfully so, but the intensity of it was enough to turn him into a moaning, gibbering mess.

"Yes... good... so good...  _Maker_ , yes, so good... so _full_... aaah... yes... Fenris... love... take... take me... am... am yours.. always... _yes_.."

 

 

Fenris' already aching cock felt like it was getting even harder at Anders' words and moans. In a firm but smooth movement, he pushed in all the way. He was fully seated. Fenris had to lean on his forearms planted on either side of Anders' head, breathing harshly.

_It was done. They were one. Joined. Bonded._

Fenris claimed Anders' lips in a fierce but brittle kiss as he rocked his hips back and pushed in again.

 

 

Fenris was kissing him, kissing him like he wanted to devour him, as he began to thrust. He was still careful, but Anders could feel his breath quickening, could feel the tension in his body building up for a faster, harder pace. In this position, he couldn't rock back into Fenris the way his body was aching to, all he could do was wrap his legs around his waist and his arms around his back, keeping him close and holding on for dear life as he kissed him back just as fiercely.

"You feel so good, love... so good inside me..."

 

 

Fenris whimpered at that.

_...so good inside me..._

He really was _inside Anders_. And it felt amazing. He slid one arm down to wrap around Anders' narrow waist, the other keeping him up. As they kissed, deeply and fiercely, his pace was a slow and deep rocking back and forth.

 

 

One hand still clinging to Fenris' back, the other cupped his cheek, knuckles brushing over the heated skin, tracing the sharp angle of his cheekbone, the contours of his jaw, as Anders pulled back from their kiss. Just a little, enough so that he could look into Fenris' eyes.

"You're amazing," he murmured, near stunned into silence by the naked intensity of Fenris' gaze. Lust, need, affection, _love_ , all laid bare for him, and even in the haze of all those emotions, Fenris kept his pace slow, steady, giving more than he took.

_There's nothing I wouldn't do for him. And it would still be not nearly all he deserves._

"I love you," he whispered, their faces so close their noses were almost touching. "Don't hold back. Have me. I want all of you."

 

 

_This feels like a dream... I can't believe it's actually happening._

Fenris closed his eyes and pressed their foreheads and noses together. The rocking of his hips turning to a rolling of hips, the forward snap at the end pushing him deeper every time Closing his eyes he focused on Anders' scent, the feel of him under him, around him.

"I love you too... my sweet, sweet Anders," he breathed against the man's lips.

 

 

_I love you too_

He hadn't expected the words to hit him like this and just about managed to hold back tears of gratitude.

_I can't believe I found you._

A second chance. Love, a future, right there in his arms. Anders closed his eyes, breathing him in, taking him deeper with every roll of Fenris' hips. There was more force behind Fenris' movements now; he was filling him completely, spreading him, claiming him; it was starting to get too much again...

And yet he wanted _more_.

"Yes... yes, right there, I need you... Fenris... Fenris _please_."

 

 

Fenris would give Anders the world if he could. So if his love was begging him, telling him he needed him - he was going to oblige. Fenris started to pick up the pace, not quite pounding but not gentle or shallow thrusts anymore. He felt himself getting too close to the edge.

Wrapping both arms around Anders' waist he lifted the man up onto his lap as he sat back on his knees, causing him to go even deeper. His nails scraped over Anders' back as he held the man's body flush against his while pumping into him.

"Anything for you, Anders... Kaffas... _so good_. Ah- ah- ah!"

 

 

Anders gasped at the change of position, Fenris' cock reaching new depths inside him, brushing _just_ past where he needed it most but nearly making him go cross-eyed with pleasure anyway. "Aah, yes, Maker, _yes_.... ungh..."

His fingers dug into Fenris' back so hard he had a dim, passing flash of fear he might leave bruises, and it took more effort than it should have to pry one hand away, slide it between their bodies and wrap it around his swollen, leaking cock. Keeping his chest pressed flush against Fenris', he began to pump himself with sloppy, uncoordinated strokes.

 

 

Fenris noticed that he had come close to _the spot_ for a moment there judging by the way Anders gasped and keened. He titled his hips back a bit and lowered one arm to Anders' hips, moving it up and down and hoping Anders would take the hint and move up and down to help find that golden spot. Meanwhile, Fenris was fighting to keep his own orgasm at bay which was coiling white hot. He let his teeth sink into Anders' neck to keep from moaning and keening.

 

 

"Oooh... aaaah.... aahhh _YES._ "

With Fenris shifting the position of his hips, leaving it to Anders to fuck himself on his cock, the angle made it hit _just_ right, and it kept brushing against his prostate hard and fast enough for Anders to see stars. The pace of his hand on his cock became even more sluggish as pleasure hit him from both sides, his nails digging into Fenris' back, definitely bruising now. He was close, so close...

...and then Fenris sunk his teeth into his neck and his whole world narrowed, zeroing in on one tight ball of a searing, roaring silence, tighter, tighter...

 ...until it expanded with one blissful snap, leaving him spending himself all over their joined chests in a hoarse, wordless scream.

 

 

The sound of Anders coming completely undone, the feel of his body coil and tense incredibly tight before snapping like a bow...

Fenris let go. He let go of his past and worries and the ghosts that haunted him. He let go of his fears, his insecurities, and let that wall crumble down for this one incredible man.

With a cry that was half a Tevene curse and half Anders' name - Fenris crushed the man to his chest and thrust his hips up one last time as he came with an explosive force that rippled through his entire body, leaving him heaving breathlessly in his lover's neck.

The whole house probably heard them but he couldn't care less. Andraste could come knocking right now, asking them to keep it down and he would tell her to fuck off.

 


	29. Pillow Talk

Anders was still floating on the last ripples of bliss when he felt Fenris' body tense, his lovers' arms clinging to him even tighter than before as he came crashing down with a force that left Anders breathless. Fenris' whole body was trembling and Anders could feel him spilling himself deep inside of him.

 _So much... so deep_.

Somewhere in Fenris' hoarse cry - shameless, free, and loud enough to be heard all the way back to Kirkwall - Anders thought he could make out part of his name.

"Yes, Fenris, yes, let go for me, give me everything, I've got you, it's alright." He buried his nose in his lover's hair, cradled him in his arms, their breathing ragged as they panted in synchrony. "I wish we could stay like this forever, love."

 

 

From the door came a muffled voice. "I really wish you wouldn't, some of us need to sleep! Or is this some treatment for an exhausted and starved man that I don't know about, eh doctor?" This was soon followed by another voice, his sister's, in more hushed tones: "Sera! What the hell!" The voices dimmed as they moved away from the door and Fenris gave a sigh of relief that neither opened the door as he forgot to lock it.

_A habit I need to learn if Anders is staying..._

Fenris gave a low, tired chuckle as he just held Anders in their post-orgasm bliss. Too tired to care about the girls or the stickiness between them. Anders was here, they had just had sex, and he just had the best orgasm of his goddam life.

 

 

Anders let out a sound that just barely passed for a chuckle; it was all he could manage in his utterly boneless, boned-out state. "Now that I think about it, she does have a point. You _are_ starving, but instead of giving you nourishment, all I've done is take." He turned his head a little to give Fenris' ear a playful nip. Which he decided was enough movement for the rest of the night. They'd just have to sleep like this; he didn't care. "You've taken such good care of me, filling all my holes." He followed the nip up with a soft kiss on the tip. "And it would seem we had an audience."

He probably should have felt weirded out by that - they were, after all, talking about his boyfriend's younger sister - but he was too giddy and tired to spare it more than a passing thought.

_And here I was thinking all couples' first times were supposed to be awkward and mediocre._

He had no doubt that had he been able to see his face, he would have been met with the widest, dumbest grin ever.

 

 

Anders was wearing the widest, dumbest grin ever. And nothing made Fenris happier. He leaned up to kiss the tip of his boyfriend's nose. "The Black Divine could've watched I wouldn't have cared," he huffed. Although he secretly hoped it was only Sera who had been listening and that his sister wasn't there the whole time.

_Little fucking degenerates._

"That was... indescribable," he breathed. "I... I never knew it would be this good. Is it always this good?"

 

 

Hair tousled, face flushed, eyes heavy-lidded yet shining brightly...

"You are so beautiful." For a moment, all Anders could do was stare, his expression stuck halfway between a fool's grin and a wistful smile of reverence. "This... this was special."

Anders buried his hand in Fenris' hair, ruffling the soft, messy strands. "It was amazing. First times with a new partner usually aren't expected to be of mind-shattering orgasm quality but you... you really are something." Leaning down, he brought their foreheads together. "And to answer your question: yes. And no. When you're with someone you truly care about, it's always going to be good in some way, because you are _with them_. Not every time is going to rock your entire world, but you can definitely expect a lot more like this in the future."

He bopped his nose against Fenris', eyes twinkling with mirth. "I hope that's alright with you?"

 

 

Fenris just groaned and smiled in delight, wrapping his arms around Anders and dropping down onto the bed so they lay down on their sides. He kept his eyes closed then, too tired and sated to care about the mess. "Its perfect with me. As long as you're with me - I'm sure we'll be just perfect." He blindly leaned up and kissed Anders' cheek. "Hmmm. Perfect indeed, my love."

 

 

_My love. Perfect._

It was. And so was Fenris. He'd just flopped them down onto the bed like he was truly without a care in the world...

_If my heart keeps swelling like that at the mere sight of him, it's gonna burst out of my chest rather sooner than later._

There was no fear in the thought; all Anders felt was bone-deep contentment. Sated and still grinning like a horse on a sugar-high, he snuggled up against Fenris and closed his eyes. His warm body next to him (and a slowly softening part still _inside_ him), Anders was more than ready to drift off into sated bliss. The mess could wait, even if he'd regret that decision in a few hours; right now, everything could wait. Except…

He fumbled around for the blanket, wrestling it out from underneath their bodies to cover them. Fenris was exhausted; he'd gotten skinny over the weeks they'd been apart, and now that their heated skin was cooling, he needed warmth.

Wrapping his arms protectively around him, Anders pulled him close. "Yes, love. It'll be perfect. It'll be perfect even when it's not. You'll be there and that's all I need." He buried his nose in his hair, speaking as much to himself as to Fenris. "I can't believe I found you."

 

 

Fenris thought back to the moment he first saw Anders. Walking into the Rose full of determination and trepidation. That moment his eyes first landed on him...

"I can't believe I found you either. This will be quite the story to tell our chil-" Realising he may have just gotten ahead of himself he bit his lip.

_Did Anders even want kids? Would he want to get married? Would he even stay in Tevinter?_

 He shrunk a little in Anders' arms.

 

 

"Oh yes, _quite_ the story indeed. And just think of all the dad jokes we can spike it with as we force them to listen to it again, and again, and again... Though we should probably wait until they're teenagers before we tell them the _full_ version, you know how..." Anders trailed off, his grin dying on his lips as he noticed how quiet and tense Fenris had become. "Is... is everything alright? Did I say something wrong?"

 

 

Fenris blinked in confusion. Anders ...really wanted that too? "You- would want that? Kids, marriage?" he asked cautiously but hopefully.

 

 

"Yes. Why, is it so hard to imagine I might be the marrying type?" Anders tried to keep his voice cheerful and not let on how much the incredulity in Fenris' voice had stung. "I've always wanted to have kids one day, to get married and settle down."

_Happiness. A normal life. Everything they said I could never have._

"And with you... I'd be in the for the long haul. The whole deal, a cat, marriage, kids eventually..." He cleared his throat, suddenly feeling awkward. "I mean, if that's what you want too..."

 

 

Fenris breathed in relief and smiled brightly. "Its everything I ever wanted. I... Other kids usually liked their fantasies riding off into the sunset with a hot girl. Me - my perfect ending was married with kids, pets, growing old together..." He took Anders' hand in his and his expression turned serious. "I guess this is the part where we ask the question... what now? We want the same things in the long term, but what happens next week? Would you want to return to Kirkwall? Stay here? You can always reapply for your medical license, we can get you the best lawyers money can buy."

He kissed Anders' hands. "If you don't want to work another day and just raise cats and kids, we can do that too. As long as we're together."

 

 

Anders smiled. "Well, that's a lot of questions to unpack... I'll get to them in a moment but first," he pulled their joined hands away from Fenris' lips and to his own to kiss Fenris' in return, "I'd like to know what your plans are. I know you said you didn't want the company and were going to return to Kirkwall, but... Danarius was still alive then. I need to know how you feel about things now. There are no wrong answers, it's just going to make planning easier if I know what you actually _want_."

 

 

Fenris thought pensively for a moment, his thumb gently caressing Anders' hand. "I initially thought I'd stay and keep things floating until Varania takes over. But the company needs more work than I realised... Danarius has left quite the mess and I would see it restored to my father's vision."

He looked into Anders' eyes. "That might mean I have to stay for a few years. Maybe longer... Varania is eager and innovative, but she lacks a level head and business mindset." He touched Anders face softly. "I have to stay here till Varania graduates in four months. I would like to stay longer, but I don't have to. If you wish to be in Kirkwall - even Antiva, Orlais... I'll go with you."

 

 

"See, that's why I asked." Anders nuzzled into Fenris' hand, brushing his lips against the side of it. "There would be no point in moving here to be with you if you didn't actually _want_ to stay. But since your family's here, the company's here... There's nothing like that for me in Kirkwall, nothing that really keeps me. I'm going to have to look for a new job anyway, might as well do that in Minrathous... If that's alright with you, of course," he added hastily.

 

 

Fenris positively beamed a bright smile. "Nothing would make me happier! We can find an apartment in the city if you like - it'll be our own little place. Or we can move in here, and this will be our wing of the manor. Either way, I know my mother and sister will be absolutely delighted."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're nearing the end folks!


	30. Breakfast in Bed

 

 

Anders felt his heart take a leap at seeing how genuinely happy Fenris looked.

_He wants me here. He REALLY wants me here._

His thoughts briefly went to the deed to the clinic that lay buried somewhere at the bottom of his bag. He'd have to give it back -  and hope Fenris would understand that Anders couldn't possibly accept a gift of this magnitude, and most definitely not from his _boyfriend_. But that could wait; there'd be plenty of time to figure out who'd keep the place running later. Anders could think of a few people for the medical side of things and as for the business part... Well, he'd have to talk it through with Fenris.

 _Later_.

He gave Fenris a bright smile in return. "I'm fine with both options. I like your family, but it's up to you how much," he winked as he drew out the words, " _physical distance_ you need between you and them. Or if you'd rather not move in together right away, that's alright too... Though I'll definitely have to stay with you for the first couple of weeks, until I find a job."

_Well, I guess I'll have to figure out just what kind of job that's going to be first._

 

 

"No, I want to live together. I don't want to spend a single day without you. I've spent my whole life waiting to feel this whole." He snuggled into Anders' chest, tucking his head under the taller man's chin. His chest warm as he listened to the steady heartbeat of his love. "But that can wait till the morning. For now, I would very much like to sleep with my love in my arms."

 

 

"Can't say I'm sad to hear that." Anders smiled as he brushed his chin against Fenris' head, giving it a gentle nudge. "I've always been the fools rush in type, and the less distance between us, the better." He settled back into the pillows, his arm wrapped tightly around Fenris' back. The moment he closed his eyes, it hit him how exhausted he really was. He barely had the energy to twist his head for a brief goodnight kiss on Fenris' hair, and his speech slurred a little as he mumbled, "Sleep's good. Sleep and you, 's all I need... and you... need rest. All the rest."

_And strength to face the inquisition at breakfast._

It was a distant thought, a murmur at that back of his mind that didn't make it through the fog of bliss and drowsiness. He was warm; he had Fenris in his arms. For the first time in years, he felt utterly at peace.

 

Fenris dreamt of pleasant things; good things. He dreamt of holding hands and smiling and family photos above the mantle. He dreamt of Anders, as he had so many times before, but there was no bitter-sweetness this time. It felt _real_ , as if it truly was within his grasp. Something stirred and Fenris groggily blinked into wakefulness... To find the obsession of his heart and subject of his dreams sprawled over him. The taller man was covering him like a blanket, his head resting on the pillow next to him and drooling a little. Fenris couldn't stop the happy little chuckle that slipped out then leaned forward the small inch to kiss the open spot on his forehead not covered in a mess of long blond hair.

 

 

There was something on his forehead... something warm... soft and a little wet, not unpleasant, not at all... There was warmth beneath him too, his sluggish brain realised, a familiar scent... the touch of skin against his... 

  _Fenris_

He blinked awake at the thought. Eyes adjusting to the greyish light of the room, he lifted himself up on an elbow, fumbled around for the lips that had kissed him awake, for confirmation...

_Please, please let it have been real..._

Green eyes twinkled up at him, still heavy with sleep but alert and full of affection.

It was real. He was in Fenris’ bed. In Fenris’ _life_. This time, to stay.

“Good morning, love,” he whispered as he leaned down to give Fenris’ forehead the same, gentle treatment that had been bestowed on his. “You’re up awfully early. Can’t wait for breakfast?” he asked with a grin. Well, as much of a grin as he could manage at this unmakerly hour.

 

 

"Absolutely..." Fenris replied with a saucy smirk. "I suddenly find myself _famished_..." he said as he sucked his bottom lip in and reached out a hand to roam down Anders' back and grab his ass.

A throat clearing had them both look up suddenly. "If master Fenris is hungry, could I suggest he come down to breakfast? It's 11 am." With a straight face, Sebastian pulled the heavy curtains open to let the sunshine in. Fenris groaned and shielded his eyes.

 

 

Anders let himself flop back down with an exasperated grumble-sigh, muttering all his disdain for the sun and Sebastian into the pillow. "You know what, love, if we decide to live _here_ I demand secure locks your _staff_ doesn't have access too." He didn't bother to cover the parts of his body the blanket had slipped off of during the night, but he did make sure all of _Fenris'_ body was shielded from their unbidden intruder.

_Eyes off the goods, you pervy grease-face. YOU don't get to stare at my boyfriend._

"Alright," he said, adding a few more groans for emphasis, "since we're already awake and you _really_ need some food, how about you," he lifted his head to flash Fenris a saucy smile, drawing out the words to give Sebastian the full show, "make good on that promise to... _accompany_ me to your evil shower and clean up the remains of... last night?"

 

 

Fenris distantly heard Sebastian make a less than subtle gagging noise followed by the sound of the door clicking shut. He couldn’t care less, not with a gorgeous and naked Anders on him looking at him like _that_. "Hmm if I protect you from the evil shower, what would be my hero's reward?" Fenris asked, his voice low, as both his hands now smoothed over his lover's soft skin. "Shall you fall to your knees and worship me? Shall I pin you to the wall and stake my claim to your beautiful body, hmm?" He let his hands appreciate the round fullness of Anders ass.

"Or maybe..." he leaned forward, letting his low voice breathe over Anders' ear. "You'll return last night's favour and take me?"

 

 

Anders' mind went blank for a second. Alright, a rather long second. More like a minute, really. Those words in that voice... from _that_ man...

"I, um, yes, if... if that's something you'd like, I'd..." Internally, he was face-palming so hard he would have smacked himself straight into the Fade.

_Smooth and seductive, dumbass, impressive work there... for a thirteen-year-old._

He shook his head and took a deep breath, a tiny movement he hoped wasn't _too_ obvious. "I might be persuaded to return that favour," he said, casually, his confident, seductive grin firmly back in place. "How could I not, after you were so... _good_... to me last night? Perhaps," he leaned in to speak directly into Fenris' ear, "I'll fall to my knees and worship you like the hero you are and _then_ take my sweet time... taking you."

 

 

Fenris felt a fluttery feeling in his chest. Anders above him, golden hair catching in the morning sunlight, smiling and saying such dirty things...

_Its like I dreamed him into reality..._

"That," he cut himself off by kissing Anders on the nose, "...sounds perfect." He slipped out from beneath the taller man, grimacing a little at the remnants of their lovemaking on his chest and thighs. "I'll go tame the beast, join me when you're ready," he said over his shoulder as he walked to the bathroom. It was amazing how much better he felt after a good meal, a good sleep, and having his heart full.

 

 

Fenris' face, half-turned to him, soft and open in the glow of the morning sun, his steps light as he strutted into the bathroom... It was hard to imagine this was the same man who'd insisted on keeping the lights off and backed away from him just barely over twelve hours ago. Lounging in the pillows, Anders savoured every second of the sight, precious few as they were given how close the bathroom was.

_Someone pinch me... this is all too perfect to be real._

Well, perfect except for the "getting up" part. The temptation to just let himself fall face-down back onto the bed was almost impossible to resist, but already, he could hear water running in the bathroom - and there could be no greater temptation than the man currently in there. Thus, he heaved himself out of bed with a sigh and half sprinted, half staggered into the bathroom.

"Alright, love, I'm coming in, but you'd better keep word and protect me from the beast... also, will you let me wash your hair?"

 

 

Fenris had been having the best morning of his entire life. Waking up with the man of his dreams after _incredible_ sex. He strutted into the bathroom and started up the shower with a swing in his step-

-only to stop short when he caught a glimpse of himself in the huge mirrors above the sinks. He swallowed and slowly approached them.

_Skinny. Gaunt. Pale. Dark circles. Scars. Ugly._

He still had a way to go to fully recover from the damage the blood magic did to his body. But even if he regained his muscle, his thinned our hair all grew back, and he started eating right again... He hadn't noticed how hard he was clenching his fists till a sharp pain told him his nails were biting into skin.

 

 

Anders stopped short when he entered the bathroom to find the shower empty and Fenris standing in the middle of the room, frozen to the spot and radiating tension.

  _What in the Maker"s..._

He realised what Fenris was looking at before he'd even finished the question. No, not looking, _staring_ , his expression nothing but disgust and despair. Anders swallowed, all his previous joy and light-heartedness replaced with a boulder of helplessness that seemed to fill his entire stomach.

He slowly walked up to Fenris, quietly clearing his throat to make his presence known. As he laid his hands over Fenris' and tried to coax him into unclenching his fingers, their eyes met in the mirror. If only he had words that didn't sound cheap, something more than hollow phrases of comfort.

"I meant what I said last night. You are just as beautiful as you were when we first met. You look exhausted but no less stunning."

 

 

Fenris closed his eyes and leaned back into Anders' chest. He could feel his lover's heart beat against his back and remembered why he did it all.

_I would take these scares a hundred times over for you._

He turned around and placed a loving kiss on Anders' lips. "A little less vanity, I'll learn to live with it. You're pretty enough for the both of us. And as long as you are not repulsed by me... I wouldn't change a thing. Now... I do believe we have a shower beast to fight."

 

 

Anders smiled in relief when he felt Fenris relax in his arms. He leaned in, chasing his lips to kiss him in return. "Well, you're right about me being _spectacularly_ pretty, of course, but trust me, I've got nothing on you. You'll keep me quite busy throwing warning glares at the throngs of people who'd love to get a piece of that smokin' hot body. And I assure you," he canted his hips so his cock brushed against Fenris', " _repulsed_ is the last thing I am... Now lead our charge against the beast, my mighty warrior. There's no time to waste, we still have to get some food into that delicious body of yours."

 

 

Fenris chuckled softly at his colourful lover as he took his hand and led him to the shower, which was starting to steam up the room. He stepped in first, theatrically puffing out his chest, then turned a few nozzles till there was an abundant but gentle stream coming from the big shower head above, almost like a nice spring rain. He turned off the sprays coming from all the other angles. "Is this to your liking, my love?"

 

 

Anders put one hand on his heart and lifted the other to half-cover his mouth. In mock exclamation, he said, "Oh my brave warrior, you have slain the beast that has tormented our humble village for all these years. Now I, too, shall find the courage to set foot into its lair."

He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. Tilting his face upwards, he let the water run over him for a moment, washing away tension and stickiness, warming his skin. He held a hand out to Fenris, pulling him flush against his body with a smile as he fumbled for the shampoo bottle.

"It's perfect, love. Now let me wash that lovely hair, give you a nice long massage until there's no tension left in your body and get you all clean and relaxed and ready to eat your weight in breakfast food."

 

 

Fenris took in the gorgeous sight of his lover under the water before Anders drew him closer. "You looking like that," he mumbled more to himself, "I’d rather eat something else..." As Anders was distracted hunting for, presumably, a shampoo bottle amongst the myriad of expensive bottles with Tevene labels, Fenris saw his opportunity and licked a long, hot line up the side of Anders' neck. He knew it made no sense but he could swear Anders' skin tasted amazing.

 

 

The onslaught of that hot, delicious tongue on his skin caught Anders completely by surprise, sending a jolt of arousal through every part of his body...

_CLANG_

...and causing him to drop the bottle of shampoo he'd only just picked out. It landed right in the middle of at least ten other bottles and send all of them crashing in different directions. Anders couldn't have cared less. Fenris' touch, his eagerness, his _hunger_... there was no bigger turn-on.

"Seems like someone can't wait for breakfast..."

He whirled back around, grabbing Fenris' ass in both hands as he pressed him closer and captured his lips in a searing kiss.

 


	31. Give and Take (insert obvious joke here)

 

Fenris groaned in response, pushing his hips against Anders' so the man could feel just how badly he wanted him. The soft warm water raining down on their still sleep-warm bodies as Fenris' hands started to roam and take in the form of his lover. He wanted to memorize every inch, map out every dip and curve. Fenris really did feeling like a starving man when it came to Anders.

Fenris let out a low growl and pushed Anders bodily against the wall in the shower not covered in shelves and scattered bottles, pressing him up against it with his whole body so as much of their skin was touching as possible.

 

 

"Mmm, manhandling... I've missed that." Anders couldn't have said why it was so incredibly hot to have Fenris take charge like this, but then again, a thorough analysis of his thoughts and feelings wasn't exactly what was on his mind right now. Not with Fenris' body warm and slippery against his and greedy hands groping him like he was a rare delicacy Fenris wanted to gorge himself on.

"So," he asked as his own hands eagerly explored every part of skin they could reach, "what does my brave warrior desire? How do I best express my gratitude?"

 

 

Fenris gave a hungry smirk. He looked up to the ceiling - _thank the Maker for old mansions with high ceilings_ \- and knew he had decided. "Hmmm if it's manhandling you like, I think I know what my _first_ desire is."

In movements a lot smoother than he thought he could manage, Fenris knelt but only to lift one of Anders' knees over his shoulder, his hand taking hold of the other leg as Fenris quickly stood. He reached the other hand up to press Anders' chest back against the wall so he wouldn't topple over and threw the other leg over his shoulder too. The elf hummed low as he licked slowly up the cock now right in front of his face

 

 

"Andraste's twisted kneecap, how the _fuck_ are you so strong??" Anders yelped as he fumbled for purchase and found nothing but the top of the shower cabin, sharp and cold and digging into his hands as he held on for dear life. He found himself arching back and into Fenris' touch at the same time.

_Maker, that TONGUE._

"Well," he panted as Fenris' tongue reached the tip of his cock and promptly slid back down at the same, tortuously slow pace, "whatever my brave warrior desires, I'm entirely at your mercy." He gave a breathless chuckle. " _Literally_."

_He could do whatever he wants to me and all I can do is take it..._

The thought set his nerves alight, his cock twitching so violently he was afraid he might come on the spot.

 

 

Fenris grinned at hearing Anders so breathless, turning his head to nip and suck a bruise into the soft skin of the man's inner thigh. He liked the idea of marking Anders; claiming him, even though no one will see it. The renewed heat made his mouth water and he took Anders down in one slow suck till his nose reached the hair of his groin and be could feel Anders at the back of his throat. The man's musk and masculine taste were incredible, the heavy hot weight on his tongue perfect. He started bobbing his head slowly, swallowing.

 

 

Anders’ hips bucked involuntarily, aching to drive him deeper into that tight, wet heat – not that there was really a  _deeper_ , Fenris was taking him almost to the last inch – but he barely had room to move with the way Fenris had him pinned down. Suspended in thin air, the glass and steal of the shower against his back and arms seemed to fade into nothingness; everything paled against the heat of Fenris’ mouth like his cock was the only part of him still tethered to this world.

It felt... there were no words for how it felt.

He stared down at Fenris, moaning helplessly as he took in the sight. Lips stretched around his cock, head shoved between his thighs, the imprint of his teeth in Anders’ flesh, he looked utterly debauched. But even though _Anders'_  cock was shoved down Fenris’ throat, Fenris was the one in control. _Completely_ in control.

Anders longed to bury his hands in that hair, to dig in and pull and let go of all restraint, but he couldn’t let go of the shower cabin. He’d fall, surely, he’d fall.

“ _Maker fucking dammit Fenris_ , what are you doing to me, you are incredible, please... please...”

 

 

Fenris was only urged on more at Anders' words, sucking him faster as he worked the flat of his tongue over his full length and flicking it over the slit to taste the precum that was starting to leak. Fenris almost felt his knees buckle at the intensity with which he wanted every drop and inch of Anders, to taste it and feel it. He gave one more long, hard, savouring suck before pulling back.

He looked up at Anders with hungry eyes and kept his gaze as he let the man slowly slide down his body, keeping the taller man steady between his arms till he was safely on his feet. "Anders I... I want to feel you inside me. Please."

 

 

Anders' brain pretty much short-circuited at those words. He was unsteady on his feet, his body trembling, his cock aching at the sudden, cruel abandonment, a pathetic, begging whine still stuck in his throat and now Fenris had said... he wanted... 

"Maker, _yes_."

He pulled him into a fierce, bruising kiss, hands finally burying themselves in his hair, pulling back his head to expose his throat to his lips and teeth. His lust-hazed mind didn't have the patience to drag it out, too enchanted by the prospect of being _inside Fenris_ , to take him, claim him, _feel_ him...

He spun him around without warning, nuzzling his face between his neck and shoulder as his hands made their way down his spine to the firm cheeks of his ass. He slid a finger between them, gently probing at his hole, shivering at the sight, at the thought of pushing more than just his finger in there, the tiny opening spread impossibly wide around his cock...

_NO CONDOM_

Lube, Maker, they needed lube. What was Fenris doing to his mind; he couldn't risk hurting him.

"I... I'm just gonna... get something," he breathed into Fenris' ear, pressing a soft kiss on his jaw. "Or..." he added as an afterthought while stumbling out of the shower, " maybe you want to... take this to the bed?"

 

 

The idea of Anders taking him in bed was appealing, but it was mostly his desperate _need_ for Anders to take him - wherever- that had him say: "Fuck it, I'm clean enough," and closing the shower, all while keeping his eyes on Anders. Hungry bedroom eyes that pinned Anders as he walked purposefully out of the shower to the taller man till he was forcing Anders to walk backwards until his legs hit the side of the bed.

Fenris gripped the man's hips and lifted him so he fell more or less in the centre of the bed before positively pouncing on him, straddling those sexy hips and bending down to kiss Anders deeply. As they kissed like drowning men, Fenris rocked his ass slowly over Anders' impossibly hard cock, shuddering at the expectation. He quickly broke their kiss to grab the oil from the nightstand, shoving it into Anders' hand before kissing him again.

 

 

Anders let himself savour the kiss for a few more moments - Maker, Fenris kissed like he wanted to devour him down to the very last particle - before he wrapped his arms tightly around Fenris' back and flipped them over.

"As much as I enjoy you manhandling me," he said in a low voice as he straddled his hips and bent down to slide his chest over Fenris', "it's my turn now."

He let his fingers trail down Fenris' arms, grabbed hold of his hands and lifted them up above his head. Not quite pinning them in place, he applied just enough pressure to have him spread out but still able to move. Sparing a moment to admire the view - _arranged like a feast, all mine for the taking_  -  he leaned down and nibbled at his ear.

"Just lie back and relax, love, and let me have my wicked ways with you."

With one last, languid lick from his ear to the base of his throat, Anders pushed himself up, grabbed the lube and moved to sit between Fenris' thighs with a wink and a grin.

 

 

Fenris' body tensed for a moment at being flipped like that, never having been 'manhandled' before, but at the whispering breath and nibbling teeth on his ear, he turned into goo.

_Let me have my wicked ways with you_

" _Please..._ " he asked, his voice a little rough, but bit his lip in anxious expectation just the same.

 

 

Anders ran his hands along Fenris’ thighs – “Maker, you’re perfect” – spreading his legs for better access as he opened the bottle and coated his fingers in a generous (in fact, slightly _too_ generous) amount.

  _It’s a good thing we’re not doing this in the shower, household accidents and all._

Still, the memory of Fenris pinned against the shower, ass stuck out and pressing back into him... Anders felt a passing regret at not having taken him in that position, trapped between him and the wall with steam billowing all around them...

Another time, maybe. For now, this was better. He could see Fenris’ eyes, kiss him, keep him safe in his arms and watch his expression for signs of discomfort. There’d be time for acrobatics later.

He stroked a finger across Fenris’ balls, leaning in to place a kiss on the tip of his cock, lapping at it with his tongue as he took him into his mouth. As he bobbed his head in fast, shallow movements, he slid his finger from the underside of Fenris’ balls down to his hole in a slow, massaging trail. He teased at the rim, circling it a few times before he carefully slipped it inside just a bit past the first knuckle, moving it in sync with his head.

 

 

At the hot, velvet lick over his cock he groaned. When his cock was engulfed by that wet, hot mouth he moaned. But when a slicked finger teased at his hole before slipping in smoothly he _whimpered_. He bit his lip hard and shut his eyes. He had fingered himself before, but never had he gotten this hot for it and Anders was just beginning.

“Anders, love, _please_!"

 

 

Anders tsked around Fenris' cock in mock reprimand. He slid his finger in deeper, almost to the last knuckle, and at the same time, swallowed him all the way down. He kept his head in place, feeling his throat constrict against the intrusion of Fenris' cock, thick and heavy on his tongue, but increased the pace of his finger, twisting it a little on the way in and moving it almost all the way out on each turn.

He resumed bobbing his head, just far enough so that Fenris' remained at least partly lodged in his throat, and slid another finger inside him, slowing down the pace again to give him time to adjust to the feeling. When he was rewarded with another delicious whimper, he considered it safe to pick up speed, going fast and deep. At last, he lifted his head, sliding off Fenris' cock with one last, noisy lap at the tip yet keeping the pace of his fingers unchanged.

"'Please'? Is there something you want, love?"

 

 

Fenris panted as he looked down at his lover, who looked terribly smug. He managed a half glare before a finger trailing against his inner walls on the drag out before pumping back in had him throwing his head back and lifting his hips in plea. The same plea on his lips.

"More! Vishante Kaffas, Anders - More! Please amatus, I need you. Obsecro!" His common was slipping as his mind fogged in pleasure

 

 

“More?” Anders leaned in, speaking directly into his ear. “You mean like this?”

He added another finger, biting back a moan at the thought of Fenris' hole stretched around him as he moved them in _slowly_ and then back out at the same pace. He repeated the motion a couple of times, only picking up speed gradually.

“Is this to your satisfaction?” He flicked his tongue against Fenris’ earlobe as he began to pump his fingers in earnest. “Or is there something else you want?”

For all the smug teasing in his voice, dragging it out was beginning to take its toll on him too. His cock was so hard it felt like it was about to burst, leaking and aching to push into that tight ring he felt clenching around his fingers.

 

 

Fenris just kept his eyes shut, panting and squirming. "I want- your cock," he managed, breathing heavily as he peered up at his merciless lover who was undoing him so skillfully.

"Amatus please, take me. Fill me." He spread his legs even more and raised his hips again. His rim was burning slightly at the intrusion of the third finger but aching for more - aching and clenching down but wanting to be filled.

 

 

"Well, since you asked so nicely, I suppose I might be persuaded to give it to you..." Anders said as he sat up with a grin. He ignored his cock's enthusiastic _YESSSSS_ for the moment, forced himself to remove his fingers _slowly_ and picked up the lube, spreading it all over his cock. As he aligned himself, he leaned in for a brief kiss.

He whispered against Fenris' lips, "Look at me, love. I want to see your eyes as I take you," and propped himself up on one elbow, using his other hand to guide himself. Not breaking eye contact, he pushed in.

The feel of Fenris' body around him was so intense it bordered on shocking. He wasn't even far in, just a little more than the tip, yet it felt like his cock was doing somersaults, the sensation spreading through all of his body, and it took every shred of willpower not to just shove it in all the way.

He held on to Fenris' eyes and stopped moving, giving him time to adjust. "Fenris... love... you... you feel incredible..."

 

 

Fenris felt like his entire being was quivering with electricity. He felt his eyes warm and water a little as Anders stretched him further than he thought possible, the burn and pleasure mingling in a sensation that made him feel both weaker and stronger. Taking deep breaths through the nose and out his parted lips he focused on relaxing, accepting Anders into his body. The feeling of being filled so utterly while feeling so safe and loved as he looked into the warm amber eyes above him...

"Tuus sum, Anders. Omnino."

  _I am yours, Anders. Completely._

 

 

"Yes," Anders brushed his lips against Fenris' nose, smiling softly. "All mine, as I am yours." He buried his hand in Fenris' hair. "Only yours, forever."

Pressing soft kisses on Fenris' forehead, his eyelids, his nose, lingering on his lips for a moment before he moved on to his chin, he searched his expression for signs of pain or fear, but the eyes looking up at him were warm and open. Aside from a hint of tension, he seemed fine - and that little strain was to be expected, after all, Anders wasn't exactly... small.

"Ready for more, love?" he asked as he shifted himself back on both elbows.

 

 

Fenris managed a breathy chuckle that was a bit higher pitched than he hoped. "Only since the day I met you," he said with a wink.

_In more ways than you know._

 

 

Anders couldn't help smiling, both at the words and at the memory of how he himself had fallen for Fenris within hours of meeting him.

"I'm glad it wasn't just me, then." He kept his eyes fixed firmly on Fenris'. "Now relax, love, I'm gonna give you all of me."

He pushed in further in a slow, controlled motion, gasping at the sensation of Fenris' body around him, opening itself to accommodate his girth. "Yes... yes... almost...  _unf_..." Finally, he was fully sheathed, every last inch of his cock surrounded by _Fenris_ , his balls resting against his ass as he tried to catch his breath. "Perfect... love... so good... I need... I want... Are you alright?" Every part of him wanted to move, to snap his hips, pound into that tight, willing body, but he forced himself to wait.

_Only if he's ready, only if he likes it... he's all that matters._

 

 

At the last push that fully seated Anders in him, Fenris gasped, his back arching and wide unseeing eyes looking up at the ceiling. To feel Anders, _all of him_ , inside... so deep... to feel his body constrict around him and the way it made Anders' breath catch. Anders was stretching him to absolute capacity and the sting of it was still very much there, but so was the sensation of _full_ and _good_ and _more_. He dumbly nodded eagerly at Anders once he caught his breath again.

 

 

To see Fenris twist like that, eyes rolling back in his head as he gasped for breath...

Anders struggled to keep himself upright. He ached to let himself sink against Fenris' chest, to bury his face in his neck and start pounding mindlessly, but he kept his eyes on Fenris' face until he nodded his assent. His perfectly _eager_ assent. Slightly overwhelmed as he might be, he clearly wanted more, wanted _him_.

"I love you."

_Maker help me, I really do._

He began to roll his hips, driving himself all the way into Fenris' body with every stroke but sticking to a slow, gentle rhythm.

 

 

_I love you._

Followed by sweet and torturously slow thrusts in and out of him. That was it - Fenris bit down on his quivering lip and shut his eyes tight against the burning tears. This was everything he ever wanted. To wake up with the man he loved, who loved him so dearly he could _hear it_ in his voice, who would take him at his most open and vulnerable and show him love and kindness. He struggled between wanting to flip them over, take control and slip back into a more comfortable role and ride Anders like a desire demon - or submit and let his lover take over. While his mind deliberated he eagerly lifted his hips to meet each slow push, wrapping his legs around Anders' hips to try quickening the pace.

 

 

There was a storm of emotion on Fenris' face, its intensity taking Anders' breath away. His rhythm faltered briefly as Fenris began to rock back into his thrusts, wrapped his legs around him and forced him deeper. His movements were eager, needy, desperate for more, and there was no way Anders could have resisted. He let himself be pushed down by Fenris' legs, pressed their chests together and his face into Fenris' neck, licking and nibbling everywhere he could reach, breathing sweet nothings and broken moans into his ear as he picked up speed, thrusting into the warm, greedy body beneath him with more force now.

"Fenris... yes.... oh....you feel so good. _Aaah_ so perfect. My love. So good around me... _yes_... Fenris..."

 

 

Fenris wrapped his arms around Anders' neck, thankful for the comfortable intimacy of having him so near, being able to bury his face in his lovers' neck to keep from crying out. Anders was picking up the pace and Fenris felt himself go woozy with pleasure, until he tilted his hips up a fraction too soon to match Anders' pace and Anders found his _spot_.

" _Ahh!_ " he cried out throwing his head back, fingers digging into Anders' back. "Kaffas YES!"

 

 

Anders' lifted his head, his rhythm stuttering a little as he pulled Fenris into a deep kiss, pouring all his need, all his love into it.

"There's more where that came from."

He pushed himself up to sit on his heels, pulling Fenris body along so his ass and lower back rested on his thighs and stroking his hand across his chest to keep him on the bed, sprawled out in front of him in all of his glory. Hands planted firmly on Fenris' hips to keep him in place, he canted his hips upwards and snapped them in deep, hard thrusts, searching for the right angle.

 

 

Fenris cried out again, loud enough that he was sure his mother just dropped her tea in the last breakfast parlour. Toes curling, back arched, heart pounding and chest heaving - Fenris felt like Anders had taken him to another dimension. He still eagerly lifted his hips to meet each hard snap.

"Ita vero! Factorem hoc- ! Anders ... Oh .... irrumabo! Factorem eleison - _ah! Ah!_ " Fenris slipped into Tevinter, words of praise and nonsense and cries to the Maker. He was sure he made quite the spectacle of himself, but he couldn't care less - he never knew such heights existed. "Durior! More, Anders - Amor!"

 

 

"Yes, love, yes," Anders panted, "that's it, give yourself over, just _feel_ , I've got you, love."

One hand still firmly holding on to Fenris' hip, he wrapped the other around his cock, pumping him with fast, sloppy strokes as he continued to pound into him. The angle was a little awkward and it was becoming more and more difficult to focus with the tight hold of Fenris' body around him. The edges of his mind were already beginning to cloud over, but he held on as best he could. Fenris' moans, his unabashed, untamed lust, were more arousing than anything he'd ever heard or seen, and all he wanted was _more_ , more cries of pleasure, more of this shameless trashing.

 _'FENRIS'_ was the only thought still clear in his mind as his hips and hand kept moving relentlessly.

 

 

When Anders took his hard, aching cock and started pumping him Fenris felt the hot coil of pleasure in his gut reach its breaking point. Gritting, eyes watering and shut tight, he tried to hold on as much as he could until it snapped - his hips shot up into Anders' hand, coating it and his chest in cum, followed by his back arching up as he cried out Anders' name as his body tensed and shuddered in release. His whole existence in that moment narrowed down to the deep bond and shared pleasure between him and his amatus.

 

 

Pushing himself and Fenris back onto the bed, Anders let his body sink on top of Fenris', wrapped his arms around him and cradled his face against his neck.

"My love... my perfect, beautiful Fenris."

He held him through the last tremors of his release and only began to move again when he felt his body slowly relax. Their chests pressed together and Fenris boneless and satisfied in his arms, he started to thrust again, his movements little more than desperate, graceless rutting as he finally permitted himself to chase his own release.

 

 

The smell and taste or Anders on his lips in the haze of the mind-blowing aftershocks was easing back into reality when Fenris felt Anders start to thrust again. The thought that Anders had been so focused on satisfying Fenris and his needs warmed him immensely. Spreading his legs again where they had tensed during his release, Fenris urged Anders on, wanting to share the moment with him. "Yes... that's it, amatus, you're so good to me. Give it to me - give me all of you as you promised."

 

 

Anders' mind was closing in, focused solely on the sensation of heat and friction around his cock, of _Fenris_ around his cock, nothing between them as Anders pushed himself into his body again, and again, so close now, almost there, the tension building, about to snap... And next to his ear, that low, perfect voice, still hoarse from his shameless moans, spurring him on.

_Give it to me... give me all of you..._

All of him, his seed deep inside Fenris' body, he was asking for it, begging for it, he wanted it, every part of him...

The words knocked the remaining breath out of his lungs and he found himself babbling uncontrollably in incoherent fragments as his hips snapped at a pace so merciless that, had his mind still been able to, he would have worried about hurting Fenris. Every cell in his body curled, wound up so tight it was almost unbearable, as he thrust and thrust on blindly.

"I'm gonna... I'm gonna come... come inside you, so deep... I'm gonna fill you... Take it, love, take everything, Fen...  _Fennnrissss_ "

There was a roar, there was silence, bliss and heat and everything uncurled, he was free, he was floating, his lover's name on his lips.

 


	32. Men of the House

 Anders all but fell into his arms after his release wrecked his body and the last shudders fled. Fenris wound his arms tightly around his spent, boneless lover, careful with the angle to keep him inside still. He swore he felt Anders' seed in him, felt the moment his love came hard deep inside him. And he loved it. Anders was still fighting to catch his breath as Fenris carded his fingers through his sweaty strands. He watched Anders' toned back expand as he took deep breaths, and could still feel his heart pounding. To think he did this to Anders...

... _and that they could do it anytime they wanted._

"We're going to have to get our own place," he said with a wide smile as he kissed Anders' hair.

 

 

 The words reached the hazy cloud of cotton candy that had temporarily replaced Anders' mind with a slight delay, which was followed by another delay as he struggled to process them. When he finally did... he burst out into a giddy, breathless chuckle. "Are... are you sure? Who's gonna keep Sebastian _entertained_ when we're gone?"

He fell silent, a grin that could only be described as evil taking over his face as he remembered _who_ would have to clean the sticky mess of their sheets.

"Whose door is your sister gonna keep her ear pressed to? Our shows will be sorely missed." Anders lifted his head as far as he could manage (=not far) and nudged his nose against Fenris' cheek. "But in all seriousness, wherever you go, I'll follow." He let his head rest like this for a moment, eyes closed and smiling brightly. His body felt blissfully heavy; Fenris was in his arms, safe and content, a warm, comforting presence. He could still feel his body around his softening cock, his cum sticky on his chest... while his own was _inside_ Fenris...

_That thought probably shouldn't turn me on that much but Maker, it does._

He was... happy. Absolutely, perfectly happy.

_And in love. Andraste's hopeless heart, I am so in love with you._

"Thank you," he whispered against Fenris' skin.

 

 

Fenris lifted an eyebrow. "For what? Actually, I need to thank _you_ for that... incredible orgasm. I'll be a little sore for a few hours, but I'll smile with every step I take, that I can assure you."

_And also, is there a way I can just keep your seed inside me?_

He swallowed nervously and hoped Anders couldn't read minds.

 

 

_Sore_

Anders felt a sharp pang of guilt at the word -  _and_ , to his shame, a spark of arousal.

_Gave it to him good, took him hard and deep... Maker, what's WRONG with you._

"Sorry," he said quietly, "I didn't mean to get carried away like that. I hope it's not too bad. But," a smug, thoroughly satisfied grin crept on his face, "I'm not gonna apologise for the way _I_ will be smiling at you all day knowing I just came inside you. Across the dinner table, from the other end of the room, I'll be looking at you, thinking of my cum dripping down your thigh... And," he leaned in close to his ear, "I don't doubt it will, I filled you up real good. We might need to sneak off for another round in the linen closet, that thought's going to drive me crazy. So you see, I _am_ the one of who has to thank you. You were amazing... you _are_ amazing.

 

 

Fenris was speechless. His mouth opened and closed, then he buried his blushing face in his lover's neck, trying to hide the way his cock stirred at the man's words.

"Venhendis... it's like I dreamed you into reality," he chuckled dumbly. "Just the correct amounts of depravity, sex appeal, and perversion, with an abundance of wit, gentleness, and heart. And maker knows I want it all." He lifted his head and looked down at those deep pools of honey brown and amber that seemed to look right through him. "I love you, Anders. There is no shadow of a doubt. You are undoubtedly the best thing to have ever happened to me. You may think I saved you from Danarius' blood magic, but in truth, it is _you_ who have saved me ten times over in ways I can't begin to explain."

A little smirk crept into the corner of his lips. "And there will defiantly be another round later where I expect you to take me just as good and fill me up all over again till I can taste you."

 

 

Anders nearly choked. "Maker, Fenris, have mercy..."

He might have been embarrassed at just _how_ much those words aroused him, were it not for the fact that he'd felt a very distinctive _stirring_ between their bodies just seconds before. Still, it took him a moment to get his cheeky grin back in place.

"Well, it's a good thing our depravity seems to match. And don't worry, I'll work hard to make sure you feel ful _filled_ at all times."

_Any day, whatever way or hole you please._

"I love you too, Fenris," he said, holding his gaze as his grin made way for a more serious expression. "You _did_ save me from that spell, but you also saved me in so many other ways. I didn't dare hope I'd meet someone like you, handsome and smart with a sharp wit and an even sharper tongue that could destroy his enemies in seconds... but doesn't, because he also has the biggest, kindest heart I have ever met. And as if that wasn't already a dream come true, now I find you're just perverted as I am. You're everything I ever wanted, and I'm so happy I found you." He buried his face in Fenris' neck, ready to fall asleep right then and there. "And I'm never gonna leave again. Do with me what you will, you've got me for good."

 

 

Fenris felt his chest swell with fluttering warmth. He never knew it was possible to feel so happy and loved. Then another thought entered his mind.

_Do with me what you will._

Fenris pondered on that and his smile turned mischievous. He stood, very aware of the sweat and stickiness, and scooped Anders into his arms as he turned back towards the shower. "If it's up to me then, I want to get you clean and fed. Then I want you by my side as I face my family. I could also use a good wash and meal." He winked at Anders. " That incredible sex did quite take it out of me. Or should I say - put it into me."

 

 

Anders managed to keep his dignity and not yelp - just barely, but it still counted.

 _Right... breakfast,_ he thought with a groan. How had he managed to forget that? Of course, they needed to get clean, to hurry and meet Fenris' family for breakfast. Well, for _their_ breakfast, it had to be at least noon by now. Fenris hadn't eaten properly in weeks; Anders shouldn't have allowed himself to get swept up in the moment like that.

_Who'd managed NOT to get swept up when they're... swallowed up by an ass as perfect as this, really tho..._

"You're hungry?" he said in fake astonishment as he fumbled to get his hands wrapped around Fenris' neck. "How strange, after that _massive load_ I just gave you. Maybe I put it in the wrong hole? We'll have to tackle that mystery later. But for now," he added as Fenris unceremoniously dropped him to his feet in the shower, "no funny business. At least two feet distance at all times while we get clean and dressed, or we'll never make it out of the room."

He took a step back to signal he was serious - _dead serious... because Maker, I could take you again right here and now_ \- but stopped short as his eyes caught sight of his old nemesis, the endless array of buttons and levers. "Fenris, love, be a dear and quickly slay this beast for me, will you?"

 

 

Fenris puffed out his chest dramatically and gave a mock battle cry before heading into the shower. The shower went longer than expected, because of course they couldn't keep their hands to themselves. Between the stolen kisses, soapy caresses, and shampoo exchanges - they did eventually manage to get clean, dry, and dressed.

Fenris took a deep breath as he held on tight to Anders' hand, their fingers linked. The stray thought that he wanted to put a ring on that hand crossed his mind, but that was a thought for another time. Pushing the doors open he found his mother and sister at the dining table. His mother lowered her book and gave them a knowing but scolding look, while his sister snickered and hid her face behind her phone. Sebastian shifted awkwardly, an expression of disgust.

"Mother. Sister. Good mor- afternoon. Sebastian, would you please prepare a full breakfast with fresh orange juice and coffee for Anders and I?"

 

 

Anders gulped (hopefully, not visibly) at the three pairs of eyes zeroed in on them. Alright, _two_ pairs, Varania was busy pointedly  _not_ looking at them and suppressing a fit of giggles.

_Right, because she knows EXACTLY what we were doing... They all do. Maker's hairy balls, they probably HEARD us too._

He cleared his throat and gave a slight bow in the direction of Fenris' mother. "Good afternoon. It is good to see you again. I'm sorry for..." _spending all morning pounding your son into the mattress_ "...keeping Fenris so long. He had some sleep to catch up on." Tugging Fenris along, he moved to sit at the table, choosing the same chair as last time.

As he waited for Fenris to settle in next to him, he turned to Varania. "It's good to see you, too. And it was lovely to... hear Sera. Tell her I said hi."

 

 

Fenris watched bemused as his sister turned 5 shades of red. "Oh creators, I swear - I wasn't listening! It was just her! I went to go get her and left immediately, I swear!"

Fenris rolled his eyes at his sister and was interrupted from a retort by his mother. "You look a lot better this morning my dear. I see some colour has returned to your complexion. I just hope you got enough...  _sleep._ " At that, she gave Anders an accusing glare but the quirk in her lip gave her away.,

Fenris gave Sebastian an expectant look. "Oh! Of course, Master Fenris," he said in his ever professional tone and disappeared out the doors. Fenris took the opportunity to clear his throat. "Mother, Anders and I have some news. He's going to stay in Tevinter with me. We'll be getting a place of our own in the city so I can be close to work. I'd like to stay on longer."

 

 

Feeling more nervous than he'd anticipated; Anders bit his lip. He wasn't exactly a mother's dream even in the best of circumstances, and these were far from the best. Her son had nearly died taking a spell meant for him, and Anders had thanked him by sneaking out in the middle of the night, abandoning them without a word of Goodbye only to show up unannounced several weeks later and immediately proceed to drag her son to his room for hours of _extremely noisy_ sex. He wouldn't be surprised if she didn't rejoice at the news that he was to become a permanent part of their lives.

_I couldn't even blame her, Fenris could do so much better._

" _Deserves_ so much better," whispered a nasty voice at the back of his mind.

He firmly pushed it away.

_Fuck off. He chose me._

"Yes, I've decided to stay," he finally nodded, eyes darting between Varania and their mother. There was no point denying or delaying. All he could do was push through and hope the storm wouldn't be too bad. "Fenris' job, the company... his family... it's all here, and he wants to stay. I have nothing of similar importance in Kirkwall, moving here is a much smaller sacrifice for me than returning to Kirkwall would be for Fenris. And I don't ever want to leave his side again."

 

 

Fenris watched as his mother's eyes narrowed slightly in keen observation. They sat in silence as she stared intently at Anders as if trying to see right through him. Fenris reached out and took his lover's hand, feeling how clammy it was.

"In the end, Mother," he added, "I am not here to ask for permission. He is staying. And so am I."

Her eyes turned to him, then softened. Slowly she stood, with all the grace and elegance he knew his mother to hold, and walked around the table to them. Fenris stood, pulling Anders up with him. She gave Anders one more scrutinizing look before breaking into a warm smile. "Welcome to the family my boy," she beamed and wrapped her arms around Anders. "I thought I had lost my darling son, but thanks to you, I now have two. How can I ever repay you?”

 

 

Anders froze in confusion, blinking hard against the tears that were threatening to form despite himself.

_A family..._

He swallowed hard, squeezing Fenris' hand and wrapping his free arm around Fenris' mother. "Thank you. But there's nothing to repay me for. It was Fenris' decision to stay. I support it, wholeheartedly, but the choice was his." He pulled back a little, although he kept his arm in place, smiling awkwardly. "And... I don't want to impose but... I hope you don't mind if we stay here for a few weeks? We need to find our own place and I need to get settled in, find a job... If it's too much to ask, we'll figure something out."

There was always Fenris' office. He wouldn't mind sleeping on the couch; he'd stayed in worse places. Much worse.

 

 

"Oh nonsense, my dear," she shushed. "This is your home now as much as it is Fenris'. That wing of the house is his and you two are welcome to stay as long as you please." She stood on her toes to kiss Anders on the cheek before turning to do the same to Fenris, muttering under her breath: "there's enough room in that wing for little ones too, you know." She winked before returning to her seat.

Fenris facepalmed. Of course. Fenris announces that he's going steady with someone and it takes his mother less than 24 hours to ask for grandkids.

Varania was next, bouncing on her toes. "Oh this is so exciting!" she chimed. "I'm going to come visit you guys all the time! If Fenris has to work late then Anders can join Sera and I in a makeover slumber party! Oh, I'm so happy! Oh, I’m getting another brother!"

 

 

As soon as Fenris' mother had her back to them, Anders wriggled his eyebrows at Fenris'. "Little ones, hmm?" he murmured, nudging his shoulder. He was only teasing, though. He'd rather have her screaming for grandchildren after two weeks of them living together than the alternative he'd been so afraid of: that she wouldn't want an escort... well, former escort, he supposed... as her grandchildren's father. The warm welcome he'd received instead was more than he'd ever dared hope for.

_Part of the family... this is your home..._

He sure as the Void had never been accepted with open arms like this. "Sounds great," he grinned as he turned to Varania, still high on relief and happiness... and probably also on the last remnants of post-coital bliss. "I'll be at your disposal... unless I have to work late too, that is. And I'm sure Fenris would like to join us too. Isn't that right, love?"

 

 

Fenris glared at them. "If someone tries to put nail polish on me I will rip their heart out." Varania stuck her tongue out before turning away to type madly at her phone. Probably texting sera.

Sebastian entered with the butler's trolley with their food and everyone took their seats again. Fenris scooting just a little closer to Anders. He picked at his plate till two roasted cherry tomatoes were on either side of his pork sausage before elbowing Anders to get his attention, wagging his eyebrows at the man.

 

 

Anders bit back a chuckle. He tried very hard to give Fenris' a scolding look but ended up just grinning like a fool again. "I like the design," he kept his voice low, leaning in to place a kiss on Fenris' cheek (an innocent one, mothers and children were present), "but having seen the original, this is _way_ too small. I'd be more than happy to inspect it anew to be sure, though."

He winked then, smiling innocently, turned to Varania. "By the way, don't let him discourage you. I think his nails could do with some glitter, don't you? Perhaps we can have our first slumber party later this week, I need him to myself for a few nights first. We need to catch up on... I mean, _he_ needs to catch up on a lot of sleep."

He let one hand slide under the table and over Fenris' thigh, using the other to make short work of the food on his plate. He hadn't realised just _how_ hungry he was.

 

 

Fenris murmured under his breath to the taller man: "I find myself very hungry. Starving. For another type of meat." He emphasised the words by taking a big bite of his sausage. Behind them, he heard Sebastian choke on his tea.

_Woops. Didn't realise he was standing so close._

"Anders dear," their mother asked, "what have you in mind for a job?" Her question was a bit cautious, Fenris could tell. She was wondering if he would be staying in his line of work.

 

 

Anders’ glee at hearing Sebastian nearly choke to death was dampened by the cautious tone in her voice. She was clearly trying not to offend - but also clearly worried what kind of answer she would get.

His own smile was just as cautious. “I... haven’t decided yet. All I know is that I won’t go back to working as an escort. It turned out Fenris wasn’t as comfortable with that as I'd hoped and while I wished he’d talked to me about it,” he gave Fenris’ thigh a gentle squeeze.  _I understand, I really do, I just wish you’d left the choice up to me – and I WOULD have chosen to give it up for you, all on my own,_ “that job was just that, a job. I liked it, I won’t pretend otherwise, but I _love_ him. He’s more important to me than any job could ever be. But it does mean I’m going to have to decide on a new field of work now. I might go back into medicine...”

In theory, it should be possible, but the fact remained that he had been _fired_  with a big fat stain in his file. Not as big a stain as it could... should... have been, it stated that Karl had taken the medication himself but that Anders had failed to wait for permission from his superiors, ignoring a direct order. Whether they'd chosen to present it this way out of pity or because the hospital wanted to avoid legal charges, Anders still wasn't entirely sure but either way, it had been more than enough to ensure no other hospital in Kirkwall would hire him. Not that he’d tried very hard... He'd arrange for an interview at Minrathous General, he resolved. His chances were minimal, but he’d at least try – and he wouldn’t tell Fenris until after he knew the result. He wouldn’t use his money to busy himself a career, no way.

“Or perhaps I’ll go into elderly care for real now.” Maybe he really would. He already had most of the necessary qualifications, and it shouldn't take that long to get the rest. “Or I might eventually end up doing something else entirely.” He didn’t have to decide right now. He was still young. Well, young-ish. “But no matter what I end up doing,” he added, holding her gaze, “I will pay my share. I might have to wait tables or stock shelves for a while, but I don’t intend to live off Fenris’ money, I can assure you of that.”

 

 

"Oh pish, dear boy. Money is just paper at the end of the day. If you wish to volunteer for a charity and not be paid a cent, as long as Fenris is happy - I'm happy. Heaven knows money is no issue to us, but I understand we come from different worlds."

"Whatever he decides," Fenris butted in, "I will support him. I have already taken choices from him before, I have no intention of repeating that mistake." He smiled a little uncertainly at Anders. "Although I can't quite convince myself to regret it. It did make you come all the way to Minrathous to yell at me."

Not liking how vulnerable he was feeling around his mother, sister, and their butler, he quickly took the big last bite on his plate and washed it down with orange juice. To Anders he could bare his soul, but it would take a lot of time to heal the rifts in his family for him to truly feel like he could let his guard down around them.

He had to be the strong one, the man of the house.

He smiled as he turned to Anders.

_Men of the house. I'm no longer alone._


	33. Together

 

"Yes," Anders said around his last bite of scrambled eggs. "It might have been a mistake but as it turned out, it was a mistake to be grateful for. Without it... we might not be where we are now." This time, instead of squeezing Fenris' thigh, he let his hand _slowly_ trail up the inside, fingers almost brushing against his crotch but stopping just short of it. "Thankfully, my desire to yell at you was very strong, and I'm here now. And I don't intend to ever leave again. Well," he added after a moment's consideration, "I'm gonna have to leave one last time, go back to Kirkwall, pack, sort out what happens to my apartment..."

There was another thing that had to be sorted out, but Anders decided bringing it up could wait until they were alone. Fenris was still noticeably tense around his family.  _Not surprising. Those wounds won't heal overnight_. Getting their own place eventually was probably for the best.

"But I don't have to leave right now, that can wait a week or two. And," he turned to his boyfriend with a smile, "perhaps Fenris would like to accompany me? That way I could go without having to leave your side - as I promised I never would again -and you could say Goodbye to the place and... your friends. I’m sure they’d like to see you."

_And I would sure like to meet them._

 

 

"I will remain at your side no matter where you go," he smiled at Anders. "And my friends are going to _adore_ you. It might be tough dragging you away from them, but we can always go visit or fly them out to visit us."

"Any friend of my children is a friend of mine," his mother added kindly. "I would like to meet them too. I feel like there's so much I have missed." Her tone ended somewhat sad and soft. She quickly shook her head. "Well then, I do believe I have matters to attend to. I'll see you boys for dinner. Early dinner at 6 so Fenris can get some sleep."

She gave the two of them a pointed look. "And I mean _sleep._ " Fenris chuckled softly as his mother left the room, dragging a protesting Varania with her. His elven ears picked up: "the two of them need time, dear."

Alone in the room, Fenris turned to Anders. "Seems we have what's left of the day to ourselves. Would my love like to join me in the garden for a walk? I haven't really felt the sun on my skin since the coma."

 

 

"I'd love to." Anders nodded, eternally grateful to Fenris' mother for giving them some privacy. A few hours alone with Fenris before dinner... and then off to sleep... He found himself grinning widely - _yeah, just sleep, like that's going to happen_ \- as he linked his arm with Fenris'. "And as your resident physician/boyfriend, a healthy dose of fresh air and sunlight is just what I'd prescribe."

He dragged Fenris out of the room, eager to be away from potential prying ears (such as _butler_ ears) but stopped short after a few steps. "I'm afraid I still don't know the way." He chuckled softly. "Once again, I'm gonna have to place myself at your mercy. Please don't leave me to starve in any abandoned linen closets."

He pressed a kiss on Fenris' cheek and let himself be led through the vast maze of hallways, out into the beautiful Tevinter sunlight.

 

 

As soon as the warm sun hit his skin Fenris realised he hadn't felt this alive since his father passed. His heart was full, his cheeks hurt from smiling so much, and he felt giddy with happiness. With Anders' arm in his, he led them through the garden at a leisurely pace, stopping to admire birds bathing and flowers blooming. He followed his feet in no particular direction and sure enough, they led him to his favourite spot - the secluded little corner he used to come to hide in, but now shared with his love. They sat on the loveseat bench and Fenris closed his eyes for a moment, just soaking in the sounds, smells, and sunlight.

 

 

Anders leaned back against the bench. One hand on the backrest, the other on Fenris' thigh, he sat in silence, just admiring Fenris' profile. He looked... happy. Relaxed, peaceful, comfortable in his own skin. Seeing him like this, his _boyfriend_ , his partner... it made Anders' heart flutter.

And it fluttered even harder when Fenris opened his eyes and gave him a bright smile.

"I love this place." Anders leaned in for a kiss. "And I love you. This day has been just perfect. Everything... it's all perfect."

He bit his lip, remembering the 20 unread messages that had popped up when he'd finally remembered to check his phone before breakfast. Well, perfect except for a few tiny details.

"I... have a question for you though. Well, actually, two questions, but the first one isn't that urgent. I was just thinking, when you bought the Rose, it didn't just put me out of a job. I _love_ the idea of a free clinic in Kirkwall, don't get me wrong, but a lot of other people lost their livelihood as well. Good people, friends... They deserve a place of work that treats them well, that knows their needs and respects them, and The Rose was that kind of place. I'd hate for it to just disappear. So," he cleared his throat, "I was wondering if you might consider making an investment - just as a loan, of course - to have it reopened in another location. I doubt Jethann will be coming back, but I have a friend who used to work there, she'd be great at running it. You don't have to decide right now,' he hastened to add, "I'd have to ask her first anyway. Just... think about it."

He swallowed.

_And now, on to the important question._

 

 

Fenris raised an eyebrow. "Invest to open an escort service? Now there's something I never thought I'd consider. But, if it's important to you - it's important to me. Consider it done." He squeezed Anders' hand and smiled at him. Money really was no object to him, and he knew it would take Anders a long time to consider his money and investment to be _theirs_ , but Fenris had always wanted a partner to share everything with. He hoped in time Anders would get there.

Then Fenris noted the tension in his lover's body, in his shoulders and around his eyes. "You seem nervous. Is there something wrong?" His heart froze at the thought that Anders may have changed his mind.

 

 

“No, no, there’s nothing wrong,” Anders hastily clarified when he felt the hand intertwined with his grow tense. “It’s just... there’s someone I'd like you to meet. He’s four years old, ginger, with the cutest, softest little toe beans you’ve ever seen. My neighbour, Nate, is taking care of him at the moment. I’ll text him that it’ll be a few more weeks, that won’t be a problem. He’ll grumble, but he loves that little bundle of joy, no matter how much he huffs and puffs. But eventually...”

He bit his lip, trying for his best puppy eyes. “He – his name is Pounce, by the way, well, actually, Ser Pounce a lot, but I call him Pounce – and I, we’re sort of a package deal so, um... can I bring him? You did say we could have a cat!”

On a plane, five minutes after their first meeting and as a joke, but this was a question of utmost importance and Anders was prepared to ignore the finer details and fight dirty to get his way.

 

 

Fenris breathed a heavy sigh of relief when Anders finally said _cat_. "For a moment there I thought you had a four-year-old child. Not that I would have minded," he quickly added. The idea of children with Anders was one he found he very much liked.

_Urgh. Mother and her grandkids talk._

Fenris narrowed his eyes and tapped his chin thoughtfully, pretending to think it over. Anders' nervous tension and almost comical puppy eyes eventually won him over and the corner of his lips trembled as he tried to suppress a smile.

"Of course, my love. We can have him brought over sooner, if you wish? I'm sure Sebastian would _love_ a little road trip." Fenris' wide smiled turned mock stern and he pointed a finger at Anders. "But I also recall saying you can get _one_ , so no funny business!"

 

 

“Just one? Now that’s just mean.”

Anders tried for a pout but failed to hide his relief - or the fact that he was smiling all over. You think elbows can’t smile? Well, you’re wrong.

“He’ll be fine with Nate, we can get him when we go pick up my stuff. Unless..." An evil grin crept on his face. “Tell me, just how much does Sebastian hate Kirkwall?”

He snuggled up to Fenris, still beaming now that he knew he wouldn’t have to consider giving up the _one_ thing in Kirkwall that actually mattered to him.  
“Thank you, Fenris. It’ll be perfect. Just you and me and Pounce. Well, for now. Can’t keep your mother waiting for those little ones forever, can we?”

A thought for later, but somehow, Anders had no doubt they’d get there. He had no illusions that it would always be easy – this was Fenris’ first serious relationship (and if Anders had any say in the matter, it would remain the only one), and the wounds from his past, all that festered hurt between him and his family... it wouldn’t heal overnight. He might need outside help for that, more than Anders could offer. And Anders wasn’t without baggage and old scars himself. But even with all that... they’d make it. They’d support each other, _love_ each other, they’d talk honestly, give each other space and intimacy, they’d fight and yell, kiss and cuddle, laugh and fuck, have slumber parties and make love.

They’d be happy.

Together.

He looked around their tiny little nook of the gardens, where he’d told Fenris about his past what felt like a lifetime ago. It still looked as peaceful and serene as it had back then - and now _he_ felt like that too. He snuggled a little closer and pressed a kiss on Fenris’ cheek.

 “I’m so happy I found you.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lovelies!! You're still here? Wow... 
> 
> Thank you so, so much for going on this Fender-licious journey with us! Your comments, kudos, and support have meant the world to us! <3


End file.
